Mr. SPECTATOR,
'I am the young Woman whom you did so much Justice to some time ago,
in acknowledging that I am perfect Mistress of the Fan, and use it
with the utmost Knowledge and Dexterity. Indeed the World, as
malicious as it is, will allow, that from an Hurry of Laughter I
recollect my self the most suddenly, make a Curtesie, and let fall my
Hands before me, closing my Fan at the same instant, the best of any
Woman in England. I am not a little delighted that I have had your
Notice and Approbation; and however other young Women may rally me out
of Envy, I triumph in it, and demand a Place in your Friendship. You
must therefore permit me to lay before you the present State of my
Mind. I was reading your Spectator of the 9th Instant, and thought the
Circumstance of the Ass divided between two Bundles of Hay which
equally affected his Senses, was a lively Representation of my present
Condition: For you are to now that I am extremely enamoured with two
young Gentlemen who at this time pretend to me. One must hide nothing
when one is asking Advice, therefore I will own to you, that I am very
amorous and very covetous. My Lover _Will_ is very rich, and my
Lover _Tom_ very handsome. I can have either of them when I
please; but when I debate the Question in my own Mind, I cannot take
_Tom_ for fear of losing _Will_'s Estate, nor enter upon
_Will's_ Estate, and bid adieu to _Tom_'s Person. I am very
young, and yet no one in the World, dear Sir, has the main Chance more
in her Head than myself. _Tom_ is the gayest, the blithest
Creature! He dances well, is very civil, and diverting at all Hours
and Seasons. Oh, he is the Joy of my Eyes! But then again _Will_
is so very rich and careful of the Main. How many pretty Dresses does
_Tom_ appear in to charm me! But then it immediately occurs to
me, that a Man of his Circumstances is so much the poorer. Upon the
whole I have at last examined both these Desires of Loves and Avarice,
and upon strictly weighing the Matter I begin to think I shall be
covetous longer than fond; therefore if you have nothing to say to the
contrary, I shall take _Will_. Alas, poor _Tom_!
_Your Humble Servant_,
BIDDY LOVELESS.