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No. 179. Tuesday, September 25, 1711. Addison.
'Centuriæ seniorum agitant expertia frugis:
Celsi prætereunt austera Poemata Rhamnes.
Omne tulit punctum qui miscuit utile dulci,
Lectorem delectando, pariterque monendo ...'
Hor.
I may cast my Readers under two general Divisions, the _Mercurial_ and
the _Saturnine_. The first are the gay Part of my Disciples, who require
Speculations of Wit and Humour; the others are those of a more solemn
and sober Turn, who find no Pleasure but in Papers of Morality and sound
Sense. The former call every thing that is Serious, Stupid; the latter
look upon every thing as Impertinent that is Ludicrous. Were I always
Grave, one half of my Readers would fall off from me: Were I always
Merry, I should lose the other. I make it therefore my Endeavour to find
out Entertainments of both Kinds, and by that means perhaps consult the
Good of both, more than I should do, did I always write to the
particular Taste of either. As they neither of them know what I proceed
upon, the sprightly Reader, who takes up my Paper in order to be
diverted, very often finds himself engaged unawares in a serious and
profitable Course of Thinking; as on the contrary, the thoughtful Man,
who perhaps may hope to find something Solid, and full of deep
Reflection, is very often insensibly betrayed into a Fit of Mirth. In a
word, the Reader sits down to my Entertainment without knowing his Bill
of Fare, and has therefore at least the Pleasure of hoping there may be
a Dish to his Palate.
I must confess, were I left to my self, I should rather aim at
Instructing than Diverting; but if we will be useful to the World, we
must take it as we find it. Authors of professed Severity discourage the
looser Part of Mankind from having any thing to do with their Writings.
A man must have Virtue in him, before he will enter upon the reading of
a _Seneca_ or an _Epictetus_. The very Title of a Moral Treatise has
something in it austere and shocking to the Careless and Inconsiderate.
For this Reason several unthinking Persons fall in my way, who would
give no Attention to Lectures delivered with a Religious Seriousness or
a Philosophick Gravity. They are insnared into Sentiments of Wisdom and
Virtue when they do not think of it; and if by that means they arrive
only at such a Degree of Consideration as may dispose them to listen to
more studied and elaborate Discourses, I shall not think my Speculations
useless. I might likewise observe, that the Gloominess in which
sometimes the Minds of the best Men are involved, very often stands in
need of such little Incitements to Mirth and Laughter, as are apt to
disperse Melancholy, and put our Faculties in good Humour. To which some
will add, that the _British_ Climate, more than any other, makes
Entertainments of this Nature in a manner necessary.
If what I have here said does not recommend, it will at least excuse the
Variety of my Speculations. I would not willingly Laugh but in order to
Instruct, or if I sometimes fail in this Point, when my Mirth ceases to
be Instructive, it shall never cease to be Innocent. A scrupulous
Conduct in this Particular has, perhaps, more Merit in it than the
Generality of Readers imagine; did they know how many Thoughts occur in
a Point of Humour, which a discreet Author in Modesty suppresses; how
many Stroaks in Raillery present themselves, which could not fail to
please the ordinary Taste of Mankind, but are stifled in their Birth by
reason of some remote Tendency which they carry in them to corrupt the
Minds of those who read them; did they know how many Glances of
Ill-nature are industriously avoided for fear of doing Injury to the
Reputation of another, they would be apt to think kindly of those
Writers who endeavour to make themselves Diverting, without being
Immoral. One may apply to these Authors that Passage in _Waller_, [1]
'Poets lose half the Praise they would have got,
Were it but known what they discreetly blot'.
As nothing is more easy than to be a Wit, with all the above-mentioned
Liberties, it requires some Genius and Invention to appear such without
them.
What I have here said is not only in regard to the Publick, but with an
Eye to my particular Correspondent who has sent me the following Letter,
which I have castrated in some Places upon these Considerations.
_SIR_,
'Having lately seen your Discourse upon a Match of Grinning, I cannot
forbear giving you an Account of a Whistling Match, which, with many
others, I was entertained with about three Years since at the _Bath_.
The Prize was a Guinea, to be conferred upon the ablest Whistler, that
is, on him who could whistle clearest, and go through his Tune without
Laughing, [to] which at the same time he was [provoked [2]] by the
antick Postures of a _Merry-Andrew_, who was to stand upon the Stage
and play his Tricks in the Eye of the Performer. There were three
Competitors for the Ring. The first was a Plow-man of a very promising
Aspect; his Features were steady, and his Muscles composed in so
inflexible a Stupidity, that upon his first Appearance every one gave
the Guinea for lost. The Pickled Herring however found the way to
shake him; for upon his Whistling a Country Jigg, this unlucky Wag
danced to it with such a Variety of Distortions and Grimaces, that the
Country-man could not forbear smiling upon him, and by that means
spoiled his Whistle, and lost the Prize.
The next that mounted the Stage was an Under-Citizen of the _Bath_, a
Person remarkable among the inferior People of that Place for his
great Wisdom and his Broad Band. He contracted his Mouth with much
Gravity, and, that he might dispose his Mind to be more serious than
ordinary, began the Tune of _The Children in the Wood_, and went
through part of it with good Success; when on a sudden the Wit at his
Elbow, who had appeared wonderfully grave and attentive for some time,
gave him a Touch upon the left Shoulder, and stared him in the Face
with so bewitching a Grin, that the Whistler relaxed his Fibres into a
kind of Simper, and at length burst out into an open Laugh. The third
who entered the Lists was a Foot-man, who in Defiance of the
_Merry-Andrew_, and all his Arts, whistled a _Scotch_ Tune and an
_Italian_ Sonata, with so settled a Countenance, that he bore away the
Prize, to the great Admiration of some Hundreds of Persons, who, as
well as my self, were present at this Trial of Skill. Now, Sir, I
humbly conceive, whatever you have determined of the Grinners, the
Whistlers ought to be encouraged, not only as their Art is practised
without Distortion, but as it improves Country Musick, promotes
Gravity, and teaches ordinary People to keep their Countenances, if
they see any thing ridiculous in their Betters; besides that it seems
an Entertainment very particularly adapted to the _Bath_, as it is
usual for a Rider to whistle to his Horse when he would make his
Waters pass.
_I am, Sir, &c_.
_POSTSCRIPT_.
After having despatched these two important Points of Grinning and
Whistling, I hope you will oblige the World with some Reflections upon
Yawning, as I have seen it practised on a Twelfth-Night among other
_Christmas_ Gambols at the House of a very worthy Gentleman, who
always entertains his Tenants at that time of the Year. They Yawn for
a _Cheshire_ Cheese, and begin about Midnight, when the whole Company
is disposed to be drowsie. He that Yawns widest, and at the same time
so naturally as to produce the most Yawns among his Spectators,
carries home the Cheese. If you handle this Subject as you ought, I
question not but your Paper will set half the Kingdom a Yawning, tho'
I dare promise you it will never make any Body fall asleep.