[Footnote 1: Eustace Budgell, the contributor of this and of about three
dozen other papers to the _Spectator_, was, in 1711, twenty-six years
old, and by the death of his father, Gilbert Budgell, D.D., obtained, in
this year, encumbered by some debt, an income of £950. He was first
cousin to Addison, their mothers being two daughters of Dr. Nathaniel
Gulstone, and sisters to Dr. Gulstone, bishop of Bristol. He had been
sent in 1700 to Christ Church, Oxford, where he spent several years.
When, in 1709, Addison went to Dublin as secretary to Lord Wharton, in
his Irish administration, he took with him his cousin Budgell as a
private secretary. During Addison's first stay in Ireland Budgell lived
with him, and paid careful attention to his duties. To this relationship
and friendship Budgell was indebted for the insertion of papers of his
in the _Spectator_. Addison not only gratified his literary ambition,
but helped him to advancement in his service of the government. On the
accession of George I, Budgell was appointed Secretary to the Lords
Justices of Ireland and Deputy Clerk of the Council; was chosen also
Honorary Bencher of the Dublin Inns of Court and obtained a seat in the
Irish Parliament. In 1717, when Addison became Secretary of State for
Ireland, he appointed Eustace Budgell to the post of Accountant and
Comptroller-General of the Irish Revenue, which was worth nearly £400
a-year. In 1718, anger at being passed over in an appointment caused
Budgell to charge the Duke of Bolton, the newly-arrived Lord-Lieutenant,
with folly and imbecility. For this he was removed from his Irish
appointments. He then ruined his hope of patronage in England, lost
three-fourths of his fortune in the South Sea Bubble, and spent the
other fourth in a fruitless attempt to get into Parliament. While
struggling to earn bread as a writer, he took part in the publication of
Dr. Matthew Tindal's _Christianity as Old as the Creation_, and when, in
1733, Tindal died, a Will was found which, to the exclusion of a
favourite nephew, left £2100 (nearly all the property) to Budgell. The
authenticity of the Will was successfully contested, and thereby Budgell
disgraced. He retorted on Pope for some criticism upon this which he
attributed to him, and Pope wrote in the prologue to his Satires,
_Let Budgell charge low Grub-street on my quill,
And write whate'er he please,--except my Will._
At last, in May, 1737, Eustace Budgell filled his pockets with stones,
hired a boat, and drowned himself by jumping from it as it passed under
London Bridge. There was left on his writing-table at home a slip of
paper upon which he had written,
'What Cato did, and Addison approved, cannot be wrong.']
[Footnote 2: The Dialogue 'Of Dancing' between Lucian and Crato is here
quoted from a translation then just published in four volumes,
'of the Works of Lucian, translated from the Greek by several Eminent
Hands, 1711.'
The dialogue is in Vol. III, pp. 402--432, translated 'by Mr. Savage of
the Middle Temple.']
[Footnote 3: 'Moll Peatley' was a popular and vigorous dance, dating, at
least, from 1622.]
[Footnote 4: In his scheme of a College and School, published in 1661,
as 'a Proposition for the Advancement of Experimental Philosophy,' among
the ideas for training boys in the school is this, that
'in foul weather it would not be amiss for them to learn to Dance,
that is, to learn just so much (for all beyond is superfluous, if not
worse) as may give them a graceful comportment of their bodies.']
* * * * *
No. 68. Friday, May 18, 1711. Addison.
'Nos duo turba sumus ...'
Ovid.
One would think that the larger the Company is, in which we are engaged,
the greater Variety of Thoughts and Subjects would be started in
Discourse; but instead of this, we find that Conversation is never so
much straightened and confined as in numerous Assemblies. When a
Multitude meet together upon any Subject of Discourse, their Debates are
taken up chiefly with Forms and general Positions; nay, if we come into
a more contracted Assembly of Men and Women, the Talk generally runs
upon the Weather, Fashions, News, and the like publick Topicks. In
Proportion as Conversation gets into Clubs and Knots of Friends, it
descends into Particulars, and grows more free and communicative: But
the most open, instructive, and unreserved Discourse, is that which
passes between two Persons who are familiar and intimate Friends. On
these Occasions, a Man gives a Loose to every Passion and every Thought
that is uppermost, discovers his most retired Opinions of Persons and
Things, tries the Beauty and Strength of his Sentiments, and exposes his
whole Soul to the Examination of his Friend.
_Tully_ was the first who observed, that Friendship improves Happiness
and abates Misery, by the doubling of our Joy and dividing of our Grief;
a Thought in which he hath been followed by all the Essayers upon
Friendship, that have written since his Time. Sir _Francis Bacon_ has
finely described other Advantages, or, as he calls them, Fruits of
Friendship; and indeed there is no Subject of Morality which has been
better handled and more exhausted than this. Among the several fine
things which have been spoken of it, I shall beg leave to quote some out
of a very ancient Author, whose Book would be regarded by our Modern
Wits as one of the most shining Tracts of Morality that is extant, if it
appeared under the Name of a _Confucius_, or of any celebrated _Grecian_
Philosopher: I mean the little Apocryphal Treatise entitled, _The Wisdom
of the Son of_ Sirach. How finely has he described the Art of making
Friends, by an obliging and affable Behaviour? And laid down that
Precept which a late excellent Author has delivered as his own,
'That we should have many Well-wishers, but few 'Friends.'
_Sweet Language will multiply Friends; and a fair-speaking Tongue will
increase kind Greetings. Be in Peace with many, nevertheless have but
one Counsellor of a thousand_. [1]
With what Prudence does he caution us in the Choice of our Friends? And
with what Strokes of Nature (I could almost say of Humour) has he
described the Behaviour of a treacherous and self-interested Friend?
_If thou wouldst get a Friend, prove him first, and be not hasty to
credit him: For some Man is a Friend for his own Occasion, and will
not abide in the Day of thy Trouble. And there is a Friend, who being
turned to Enmity and Strife will discover thy Reproach_.
Again,
_Some Friend is a Companion at the Table, and will not continue in the
Day of thy Affliction: But in thy Prosperity he will be as thy self,
and will be bold over thy Servants. If thou be brought low he will be
against thee, and hide himself from thy Face._ [2]
What can be more strong and pointed than the following Verse?
_Separate thy self from thine Enemies, and take heed of thy Friends._
In the next Words he particularizes one of those Fruits of Friendship
which is described at length by the two famous Authors above-mentioned,
and falls into a general Elogium of Friendship, which is very just as
well as very sublime.
_A faithful Friend is a strong Defence; and he that hath found such an
one, hath found a Treasure. Nothing doth countervail a faithful
Friend, and his Excellency is unvaluable. A faithful Friend is the
Medicine of Life; and they that fear the Lord shall find him. Whoso
feareth the Lord shall direct his Friendship aright; for as he is, so
shall his Neighbour_ (that is, his Friend) _be also._ [3]
I do not remember to have met with any Saying that has pleased me more
than that of a Friend's being the Medicine of Life, to express the
Efficacy of Friendship in healing the Pains and Anguish which naturally
cleave to our Existence in this World; and am Wonderfully pleased with
the Turn in the last Sentence, That a virtuous Man shall as a Blessing
meet with a Friend who is as virtuous as himself. There is another
Saying in the same Author, which would have been very much admired in an
Heathen Writer;
_Forsake not an old Friend, for the new is not comparable to him: A
new Friend is as new Wine; When it is old thou shalt drink it with
Pleasure._ [4]
With what Strength of Allusion and Force of Thought, has he described
the Breaches and Violations of Friendship?
_Whoso casteth a Stone at the Birds frayeth them away; and he that
upbraideth his Friend, breaketh Friendship. Tho' thou drawest a Sword
at a Friend yet despair not, for there may be a returning to Favour:
If thou hast opened thy Mouth against thy Friend fear not, for there
may be a Reconciliation; except for Upbraiding, or Pride, or
disclosing of Secrets, or a treacherous Wound; for, for these things
every Friend will depart._ [5]
We may observe in this and several other Precepts in this Author, those
little familiar Instances and Illustrations, which are so much admired
in the moral Writings of _Horace_ and _Epictetus_. There are very
beautiful Instances of this Nature in the following Passages, which are
likewise written upon the same Subject:
_Whoso discovereth Secrets, loseth his Credit, and shall never find a
Friend to his Mind. Love thy Friend, and be faithful unto him; but if
thou bewrayest his Secrets, follow no more after him: For as a Man
hath destroyed his Enemy, so hast thou lost the Love of thy Friend; as
one that letteth a Bird go out of his Hand, so hast thou let thy
Friend go, and shalt not get him again: Follow after him no mere, for
he is too far off; he is as a Roe escaped out of the Snare. As for a
Wound it may be bound up, and after reviling there may be
Reconciliation; but he that bewrayeth Secrets, is without Hope._ [6]
Among the several Qualifications of a good Friend, this wise Man has
very justly singled out Constancy and Faithfulness as the principal: To
these, others have added Virtue, Knowledge, Discretion, Equality in Age
and Fortune, and as _Cicero_ calls it, _Morum Comitas_, a Pleasantness
of Temper. [7] If I were to give my Opinion upon such an exhausted
Subject, I should join to these other Qualifications a certain
Æquability or Evenness of Behaviour. A Man often contracts a Friendship
with one whom perhaps he does not find out till after a Year's
Conversation; when on a sudden some latent ill Humour breaks out upon
him, which he never discovered or suspected at his first entering into
an Intimacy with him. There are several Persons who in some certain
Periods of their Lives are inexpressibly agreeable, and in others as
odious and detestable. _Martial_ has given us a very pretty Picture of
one of this Species in the following Epigram:
Difficilis, facilis, jucundus, acerbus es idem,
Nec tecum possum vivere, nec sine te.
In all thy Humours, whether grave or mellow,
Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant Fellow;
Hast so much Wit, and Mirth, and Spleen about thee,
There is no living with thee, nor without thee.
It is very unlucky for a Man to be entangled in a Friendship with one,
who by these Changes and Vicissitudes of Humour is sometimes amiable and
sometimes odious: And as most Men are at some Times in an admirable
Frame and Disposition of Mind, it should be one of the greatest Tasks of
Wisdom to keep our selves well when we are so, and never to go out of
that which is the agreeable Part of our Character.