"I will," he said, "I will do what I can; but oh, when you have the
chance you will be good to her, won't you, dear friend?"
"There, there!" said the widow, and she patted his hand. "I had to
scold you, because I see you have got the attack very badly and only
strong measures are any good; but you know I am sorry for you both, and
feel dreadfully, because I helped you to it without enough thought as to
consequences."
There was silence for a few minutes, and she continued to stroke his
hand.
"Dominic has run down to Dieppe to see those daughters of his," she
said, presently, "and won't be back to-night. I meant to be all alone
and meditate and go to bed early; but you can dine with me, if you wish,
up here, and we will talk everything over. Our plans for the future, I
mean, and what will be best to do; I kind of feel like your
mother-in-law, you know." Which sentence comforted him.
This woman was his friend, and so kind of heart, if sometimes a little
plain-spoken.
* * * * *
And late that night he wrote to Theodora.
"My darling," he began. "I must call you that even though I have no
right to. _My_ darling--I want to tell you these my thoughts to-night,
before I see you to-morrow as an ordinary guest at your dinner-party. I
want you to know how utterly I love you, and how I am going to do my
best with the rest of my life to show you how I honor you and revered
you as an angel, and something to live for and shape my aims to be
worthy of the recollection of that hour of bliss you granted me. Dearest
love, does it not give you joy--just a little--to remember those moments
of heaven? I do not regret anything, though I am all to blame, for I
knew from the beginning I loved you, and just where love would lead us.
But it was not until I saw the peep into your soul, when you never
reproached me, that I began to understand what a brute I had been--how
unworthy of you or your love. Darling, I don't ask you to try and forget
me--indeed, I implore you not to do so. I think and believe you are of
the nature which only loves once in a lifetime, and I am world-worn and
experienced enough to know I have never really loved before. How
passionately I do now I cannot put into words. So let us keep our love
sacred in our hearts, my darling, and the knowledge of it will comfort
and soothe the anguish of separation. Beloved one, I am always thinking
of you, and I want to tell you my vision of heaven would be to possess
you for my wife. My happiest dream will always be that you are there--at
Bracondale--queen of my home and my heart, darling. _My_ darling! But
however it may be, whether you decide to chase away every thought of me
or not, I want you to know I will go on worshipping you, and doing my
utmost to serve you with my life.--For ever and ever your devoted
lover."