MARRIAGE.
Seasons and Days propitious to Marriage--Superstitions
connected with the Bride--Meeting a Funeral--Robbing the Bride
of Pins--Dancing in a Hog's Trough--The Wedding-cake--The Ring.
In selecting the time for the marriage ceremony precautions of every
kind have generally been taken to avoid an unlucky month and day for
the knot to be tied. Indeed, the old Roman notion that May marriages
are unlucky survives to this day in England, a striking example,
as Mr. Tylor has pointed out in his "Primitive Culture," of how an
idea, the meaning of which has perished for ages, may continue to
exist simply because it has existed. That May with us is not a month
for marrying may easily be seen any year from the list of weddings
in the _Times_ newspaper, the popular belief being summed up in the
familiar proverb, "Marry in May and you'll rue the day." Some of
the numerous reasons assigned for the ill-luck attaching to this
month are the following:--That women disobeying the rule would be
childless; or if they had children, that the first-born would be an
idiot, or have some physical deformity; or that the married couple
would not live happily together in their new life, but soon become
weary of each other's society--superstitions which still retain
their hold throughout the country. In spite, however, of this absurd
prejudice, it seems that in days gone by May was honoured in feudal
England as the month of all months especially congenial to lovers.
Most readers are no doubt acquainted with the following stanza in the
"Court of Love:"--
"I had not spoke so sone the words, but she,
My soveraine, did thank me heartily,
And saide, 'Abide, ye shall dwell still with me
Till season come of May, for then truly
The King of Love and all his company
Shall holde his feste full rially and well,'
And there I bode till that the season fell."
On the other hand, June is a highly popular month for marrying, one
reason perhaps being that the earth is then clothed in her summer
beauty, and that this is a season of plenty. At any rate, this notion
may be traced up to the time of the Romans, and thus when Ovid was
anxious about the marriage of his daughter, he--
"Resolved to match the girl, and tried to find
What days unprosp'rous were, what moons were kind;
After June's sacred Ides his fancy strayed,
Good to the man and happy to the maid."
Among the other seasons admitting or prohibiting matrimony may be
mentioned the following, contained in a well-known rhyme:--
"Advent marriages doth deny,
But Hilary gives thee liberty;
Septuagesima says thee nay,
Eight days from Easter says you may;
Rogation bids thee to contain,
But Trinity sets thee free again."
Equal importance has been attached by some to the day of the week
on which the marriage is performed. Thus Friday, on account of its
being regarded as an inauspicious and evil day for the commencement
of any kind of enterprise, is generally avoided, few brides being
found bold enough to run the risk of incurring bad luck from being
married on a day of ill-omen. In days gone by, Sunday appears to have
been a popular day for marriages; although, as Mr. Jeaffreson, in
his amusing history of "Brides and Bridals," remarks, "A fashionable
wedding, celebrated on the Lord's Day in London, or any part of
England, would now-a-days be denounced by religious people of all
Christian parties as an outrageous exhibition of impiety. But in our
feudal times, and long after the Reformation, Sunday was, of all
days of the week, the favourite one for marriages. Long after the
theatres had been closed on Sundays, the day of rest was the chief
day for weddings with Londoners of every social class." The brides
of Elizabethan dramas are usually represented as being married on
Sunday. Thus in the _Taming of the Shrew_, Petruchio, after telling
his future father-in-law "that upon Sunday is the wedding-day," and
laughing at Katharine's petulant exclamation, "I'll see thee hanged
on Sunday first," says:--
"Father, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu;
I will to Venice; Sunday comes apace:
We will have rings, and things, and give array;
And, kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday."
Among the Scottish people, we are informed by the Registrar-General,
there is a peculiar fondness for marrying on the last day of the
year. Indeed, there are more marriages in Scotland on that day than
in any week of the year, excepting, of course, the week in which that
day occurs. Thus, in the year 1861, the returns give the number of
marriages in the eight principal towns as averaging about twenty-five
a day, exclusive of Sunday, as marrying is one of the things not to
be done on this day in Scotland. On the 31st of December, however, in
the same towns there were between 400 and 500 marriages. Curious to
say, too, in Scotland, Friday seems to be considered a lucky day for
weddings; for Mr. Watson, the City Chamberlain of Glasgow, affirms
that "it is a well-established fact that nine-tenths of the marriages
in Glasgow are celebrated on a Friday; only a few on Tuesday and
Wednesday; Saturday and Monday are still more rarely adopted, and I
have never heard of such a thing in Glasgow as a marriage on Sunday."
Leaving seasons and days considered propitious for marriage, we
find, in the next place, a number of superstitions associated with
that prominent and all-important personage on such an occasion, the
bride. Thus it is above all things necessary that the sun should
shine on her--"Blest is the bride that the sun shines on!"--a notion,
indeed, which, it has been suggested, had a practical application
in years gone by when marriages were celebrated in the church
porch. A wet day, at such a time, was a serious matter, especially
as our forefathers had not the many contrivances of modern times
for preservation from rain. Whereas, now-a-days, young ladies when
alluding to being married speak of "going to church," formerly they
spoke of "visiting the church-porch." After prevailing for centuries,
this ancient usage was discountenanced, if not actually abolished,
by the ecclesiastical reformers of Edward VI.'s reign, who "ordained
that the performance of the binding ceremony should take place in
the body of the church." Referring again to the bride, it is deemed
absolutely necessary by very many that she should weep on her
wedding-day, if it be only a few tears, the omission of such an act
being considered ominous of her future happiness. It is, too, the
height of ill-luck for either the bride or the bridegroom to meet
a funeral on going to or coming from the church, for if it happen
to be that of a female, it is an indication that the bride will not
live long, and if it should be that of a male, then the bridegroom is
doomed to an early death. In the North of England there is a strong
prejudice against a marriage taking place while there is a grave
open in the churchyard. In many parts of the country, also, special
care is taken that the bees are informed of a wedding, and as a
mark of respect to them their hives are decorated with a favour. In
Sussex a bride on her return home from church is often robbed of all
the pins about her dress by the single women present, from a belief
that whoever possesses one of them will be married in the course of
a year. Much excitement and amusement are occasionally caused by the
youthful competitors for this supposed charm; and the bride herself
is not unfrequently the victim of rather rough treatment. According
to another piece of superstition, the bride, in removing her bridal
robe and chaplet at the completion of the marriage ceremonies, must
take care to throw away every pin worn on this eventful day. Evil
fortune, it is affirmed, will sooner or later inevitably overtake the
bride who keeps even one pin used in the marriage toilet. Woe also
to the bridesmaids if they retain one of them, as their chances of
marriage will thereby be materially lessened, and anyhow they must
give up all hope of being wedded before the following Whitsuntide.
Again, in some parts of Yorkshire, to rub shoulders with the bride
or bridegroom is considered an augury of a speedy marriage; and a
piece of folk-lore prevalent in the neighbourhood of Hull is to
this effect: "Be sure when you go to get married that you don't go
in at one door and out at another, or you will always be unlucky."
Cuthbert Bede, in "Notes and Queries," records an instance of a
similar superstition that occurred at a wedding in a Worcestershire
village in October, 1877. He says, "The bride and bridegroom at the
conclusion of the ceremony left the church by the chancel door,
instead of following the usual custom of walking down the church and
through the nave door. One of the oldest inhabitants, in mentioning
this to me, said that it 'betokened bad luck,' and that she had never
known a like instance but once in her life when the married couple
went out of the church through the chancel door, and the bride was a
widow before the twelve months was out."
Alluding briefly to other superstitions associated with marriage, we
are told in the North of England that she who receives from the bride
a piece of cheese, cut by her before leaving the table, will be the
next bride among the company. In Yorkshire, too, when a newly-married
couple first enter their house, a hen is brought and made to cackle
as a sign of good luck. The old Roman practice, also, of lifting the
bride over the threshold of her husband's home, had its counterpart
in Scotland within the present century, it being customary to lift
the young wife over the doorstep, lest any witchcraft or evil eye
should be cast upon and influence her. Indeed, we are informed that
the same practice prevailed in the North of England some years
ago--an interesting survival of the primitive superstitions of our
ancestors.
Another curious custom which was once practised in different parts of
the country was that of the elder sister dancing in a hog's trough
in consequence of the younger sister marrying before her. "Upon one
occasion," says Mr. Glyde in his "Norfolk Garland," "a brother went
through the ceremony also; and the dancers performed their part so
well that the trough itself was danced to pieces." It was considered
the most correct thing to dance in green stockings. It was also
customary in former years for elder sisters to dance barefooted at
the marriage of a younger one, as otherwise they would inevitably
become old maids. Hence Katharine says to her father, in allusion to
Bianca:--
"She is your treasure, she must have a husband.
I must dance barefoot on her wedding-day,
And for your love to her lead apes in hell."
The last line, the meaning of which, however, is somewhat obscure,
expresses a common belief as to the ultimate fate of old maids.
Malone, on this passage, remarks that in Shakespeare's time "to lead
apes" was one of the employments of a bear-ward, who often carried
about one of those animals along with his bear.
Referring in the next place to some of the chief ceremonies
associated with marriage, we may note that "the putting up of the
banns" is not without its superstitions, for in the North of England
it is considered highly unlucky for a young woman to be present at
church when this important event takes place, any children she may
hereafter have running the terrible risk of being born deaf and dumb.
Thus, a Worcestershire girl, some years since, refused to attend
church and hear the publication of her own banns, lest by doing so
she should bring the curse of dumbness on her offspring. She stated
that one of her friends had transgressed this rule "by hearing
herself asked out at church," and in due course had six children, all
of whom were deaf and dumb. Again, the wedding-cake, without which
no wedding would be considered complete, is evidently a survival of
the symbolical corn-ears originally worn by the bride, and which in
after-times were made into cakes and sprinkled upon the bride's head.
In course of time these cakes were by degrees converted into one
large mass, enriched with almond paste; and that the ingredients of
a wedding-cake in the seventeenth century did not differ materially
from one at the present day may be gathered from Herrick, who says:--
"This day, my Julia, thou must make,
For mistress bride, the wedding-cake;
Knead but the dough, and it will be
To paste of almonds turned by thee;
Or kiss it thou but once or twice,
And for the bride-cake there'll be spice."
Indeed, corn in one form or another has always entered into the
marriage-ceremony, a practice which, as Sir John Lubbock, in his
"Origin of Civilisation," has pointed out, may be found among remote
savages or semi-civilised people. It would be difficult to enumerate
the many superstitions, beliefs, and usages that have at different
times clustered round the wedding-cake, some of which are as popular
as ever. In days gone by, either corn ears or fragments of broken
biscuit or cake were dropped on the newly-married couple on their
return from church, a custom which is still kept up in some country
districts. In Scotland and the North of England, for instance,
as soon as the bride returns to her new home, one of the oldest
inhabitants, who has been stationed on the threshold in readiness,
throws a plateful of shortbread over her head, taking care that
it falls outside the house. This is immediately scrambled for, as
it is considered most fortunate to secure a piece, however small.
Thus, just a century ago, Smollett, in his "Expedition of Humphrey
Clinker" (1771), described how Mrs. Tabitha Lismahago's wedding-cake
was broken over her head, and its fragments distributed among the
bystanders, who imagined that to eat one of the hallowed pieces would
insure the unmarried eater the delight of seeing in a vision the
person to be his wife or her husband. Numerous other divinations,
also, have been practised by means of wedding-cake, one of the most
popular being that of passing it through a wedding-ring, and placing
it under the pillow to dream upon. In some parts of Lancashire and
Cumberland it is customary to put a ring amongst the ingredients of
the wedding-cake, and to invite the guests in turn to cut a slice.
The person who is fortunate enough to hold the knife when it comes
upon the hidden ring is considered to be sure of happiness during
the ensuing twelve months. Again, Mr. Henderson mentions an exciting
custom practised in the North at the wedding-feast. He says:--"The
bride sticks her knife into the cheese, and all at table endeavour
to seize it. He who succeeds without cutting his fingers in the
struggle thereby insures happiness in his married life. The knife
is called 'the best man's prize,' because the 'best man' generally
secures it. Should he fail to do so, he will indeed be unfortunate in
his matrimonial views. The knife is, at any rate, a prize for male
hands only; the maidens try to possess themselves of a 'shaping' of
the wedding-dress, for use in certain divinations regarding their
future husbands." The custom of throwing the shoe for luck at a
bridal couple we shall notice elsewhere, a practice which is perhaps
the principal source of merry-making and fun at most weddings. We
must not omit to allude to that indispensable little article at
a marriage, the wedding-ring, concerning which so much has been
written. The Puritans, it may be remembered, tried to abolish it, on
account of, as they thought, its superstitious and heathen origin.
Thus, Butler, in his "Hudibras," says:--
"Others were for abolishing
That tool of matrimony, a ring,
With which the unsanctified bridegroom,
Is marry'd only to a thumb."
Though, however, the ring of gold is generally looked upon as a
necessity in the marriage-ceremony, yet it is not legally so, but
there is a very strong prejudice against being married without it,
and it would be no easy task to find a couple brave enough to act in
opposition to this universal superstition. Thus, by way of example,
Mr. Jeaffreson, in his "Brides and Bridals," tells us that the poor
Irishman is so convinced that a marriage lacks validity unless it
has been solemnised with a golden ring, that, when he is too needy
to buy a circlet of the most precious metal, he hires a hoop of gold
for use on his wedding-day. Not long since a tradesman, in a market
town at Munster, made a considerable addition to his modest income
by letting out rings of gold to persons about to marry, who restored
the trinkets to their owner after being wedded at church. A case is
related, on the other hand, of a party that came to the church and
requested to be married with a church key. It was "a parish wedding,"
and the parish authorities, though willing to pay the church fees,
because, as the account runs, "they were glad to get rid of the
girl," had not felt disposed to provide the wedding-ring. The clerk,
however, feeling some hesitation as to the substitution of the church
key, stepped into a neighbouring house, and there borrowed an old
_curtain ring_, with which the marriage was solemnised. Again, most
ladies are especially particular in their notions respecting their
wedding-ring, objecting under any pretence to take it off from their
finger, extending, it would seem, the expression of "till death us do
part," even to this pledge and token of matrimony.
In various parts of the country we find many a curious marriage
custom, of which, however, we can only give one or two instances.
Thus, in some parts of Kent, it was formerly customary to strew the
pathway to the church of the bridal couple, not with flowers, but
with emblems of the bridegroom's trade. A carpenter, for instance,
walked on shavings, a paperhanger on slips of paper, a blacksmith on
pieces of old iron, and so on. In some parts of Durham the bridal
party was, in days gone by, generally escorted to church by men armed
with guns, which they fired again and again in honour of the festive
occasion. In Scotland there was an amusing custom, called "Creeling
the bridegroom." A basket or creel was filled with heavy stones and
fixed to the bridegroom's shoulder, and with this burden he was
obliged to run about until his wife unfastened the creel.