CHAPTER IX

This was the beginning of the Four Years' War.

But although Val was worsted in this encounter, the race _was_ sometimes

to the swift and the battle to the ingenious. For instance, that very

night in bed she discovered a way of reducing Emmie to submission

without resorting to physical violence. Val began to tell out loud a

terrible and harrowing tale, which nearly threw the younger child into

fits. Emmie would do anything for her dear, dear sister if only darling

Val would say the black figure wasn't a ghost. Darling Val complied,

after a thorough understanding that whenever Emmie was too unbearable

that black figure, which was a ghost only on certain nights--that black

figure should be introduced into their nocturnal amenities. Val was not

always as good as her word. She did once or twice in the comfortable

daytime make the sinister threat, "If you do that again I'll tell you a

scary story when we're in bed to-night"; but in the morning the night is

almost as far away as being grown up or dying--at all events too far off

to seem very real or important. Experience proved that Val would forget

the menace by the time it was dark, or else would be too sleepy to live

up to it--so sleepy, in fact, that she could do nothing but kick Emmie

in a desultory way, or lie like a log in the middle of the bed, leaving

the younger child to find her half on the outer edge of both sides;

whereupon Emmie's long-suffering patience would suddenly break down, and

she would go crying to her grandmother's door, and stand there wailing

till she was taken in. After some weeks' trial the plan of making the

two sisters share the same room was abandoned, and Emmie had a cot at

the foot of her grandmother's four-poster.

Val was made to realize that now she had crossed the Rubicon. Up to that

hour she had been on probation, but this change once effected, she was

"beyond the pale." Not that she was harassed, nagged, scolded; that she

would have understood and known how to meet; she was ignored, not spoken

to, not even seen. For days she might have been thin air, so little did

her grandmother seem able to realize her corporal presence. There had

been no doubt in Val's mind from the first but what Emmie was the

favourite here. The very servants, she saw, were under the spell of

Emmie's pretty ways, and in any time of trouble took it for granted that

the imperious Val had been the aggressor. Natural and inevitable as was

this attitude of the entire household (for Mr. Gano was spared all

details, and did not count), it was not calculated to make the sisters

better friends, or win Val to a more amenable mind.

Nobody, from Val's point of view, could care much about what Jerusha and

Venie thought, but her grandmother's good opinion was somehow, even at

this stage, a secretly coveted honor. Yet there was no blinking the fact

Emmie was her pet. This form of putting the hard underlying fact was the

more satisfactory in that one could as soon imagine Mrs. Gano dancing

the Highland fling as having a pet. Gran'ma! who wouldn't let a dog or

even a bird into the house, and whom no one could fancy nursing or

caressing anything on earth! There was a suggestion of the ludicrous, a

faint ironic aroma, in the phrase, which aroused angry passions. It

fitted in, too, with all manner of exigencies. In any event it was

apposite to remark, "Of course Emmie's the pet." This could be said with

such effect of scorn that Emmie found no refuge save in tears.

"What's the matter?" inquired Mrs. Gano.

She had happened on the twain as they were loitering in the hall before

going off to church.

Emmie wept on. Val set her little red mouth doggedly. Her grandmother

glared.

"Now what have you been doing to this poor child?" she demanded.

Gran'ma's eyes were very strange when she was angry, as Val had

frequently confided to the cobwebs in the wood-shed--unlike anybody's on

earth--piercing, glittery; made you cold down your back. Servants shook

and scuttled when she looked at them like that. Val herself was always

reminded of

"Tiger, tiger, burning bright

In the forests of the night,"

and braced herself by saying, internally: "I ain't 'fraid o' tigers and

I ain't 'fraid o' gran'ma"--this, too, with a fine sense of climax.

"What is it, Emmie? Stop crying. I can't have this noise."

"V--Val says I'm your p--pet."

"Nonsense! I have no pets. You are not to worry Emmeline. Never say that

again. Understand?"

Val was silent.

Gran'ma's eyes were awful.

"Are you going to promise, or do you prefer to spend the day alone?"

That had been tried, and proved a great waste of time and opportunity.

"Yes, I promise."

"Very well; now go to church; Venie is waiting."

"Aha!" said the victorious Emmie when they were out of earshot. "Now you

see what you get for teasing me."

And she crowed over her comrade with restored vivacity, till Val said,

with suspicious geniality:

"Oh, well, I s'pose I was mistaken. I knew you were either her pet or

else--"

"What?"

Emmie fixed her beautiful soft eyes expectantly on her sister.

Val turned on her with suppressed fury:

"Or else a creepin', crawlin' little woo--er--er--m."

Floods of tears, and Venus to the rescue.

The Four Years' War did not always rage round Emmie, although it was the

innocent little sister who was the means of forcing upon Val the

conviction that her grandmother was not, and never could be, her friend.

It is true she cherished a dream at first of earning her gratitude and

admiration by some splendid heroic deed that should cover her

grandmother with shame at the memory of the way she had misunderstood

and undervalued her descendant. The house would be on fire some day, and

Val would "save all their lives"; or a robber would get in in the night,

and by a series of thrilling adventures Val would entrap and lock him up

in the closet under the stairs, where that silly old Jerusha said there

was a ghost; or the ancient nag that sometimes came from the

livery-stable to take her father and grandmother out for an airing--this

steed would unexpectedly run away some fine day. Val saw herself dashing

out of the bushes at the road-side, seizing the bit, and hanging on to

it till she brought the frantic animal to a stand-still. Then her

grandmother would say: "Dear, brave child, we owe you our lives," etc.

"How I've misunderstood you!" etc. Val would be magnanimous, and forgive

everything. She had a fixed intention of saying in reply: "Gran'ma, let

the dead past bury its dead." Her grandmother would feel that. But until

that day came, how was she to endure all this injustice and oppression?

Emmie was her grandmother's--well, she took Emmie's word about

everything, and Emmie counted on that. She didn't play fair, and she was

an awful cry-baby; couldn't climb trees, or even run hard without

falling down and hurting herself and saying it was Val's fault. Then for

the rest of the day her grandmother would treat Val like an outcast, and

dock her of Jerry's society. How sickening it was to be told Emmie was

the littlest, and delicate! Val herself had at one time been "only six,"

but she hadn't been a sniveller; she had always played fair and never

cried. Ask anybody. They'd all say Val Gano _never_ cried. Whereupon she

would steal away to the wood-shed, or climb up high in the

catalpa-tree, remind herself she had no mother, shed a private tear or

two, and tell herself a story.

After all, the only serious blemishes in the scheme of creation were

grandmothers and Sundays. Now that Val had renounced religion, she could

not but look on the day of rest as an interruption and a time of

bondage, when grandmothers and grandmothers' views pervaded creation to

creation's cost.

On the third Sunday after the arrival at New Plymouth she announced that

she was not going to church.

"I don't want to, either," whispered Emmie. "Let's pertend we're very

ill."

"No; let's just say we won't go."

"Better not," admonished the cautious Emmie. "I think my throat is going

to be sore."

So Emmie was duly cosseted by Aunt Jerusha, and given delicious

black-currant jelly.

Mrs. Gano, hearing rumors of rebellion, had sent for Val. She was

dressed and sitting in the big arm-chair before the fire with a book on

her knees. It was quite warm, but she couldn't apparently do without a

fire and a shawl. She was seldom seen about the house in these days

without a shawl. She must have had hundreds--white and black and gray,

striped and dotted; silk, cashmere, canton-crêpe. Her gowns all seemed

to be made of rusty black silk. They were so exactly alike that Val

thought for long she had but one. There was always, too, the inevitable

and spotless lawn at the throat; no frivolous ruffle or after-thought of

tie--nothing set on, extraneous, but smooth white folds that seemed to

grow up out of the dress--an integral part of the plain and changeless

uniform that was the outward and visible sign of one's grandmother's

severe, uncompromising spirit.

"What's this I hear? Why are you not dressing for church?"

"I--I don't feel like going to-day."

"Are you not well?"

"Ho yes"--very contemptuous. "I never get ill."

"Then you must go to church. It's the custom in this house."

"Venie says _you_ go only twice a year. I'll go when you do."

The old lady's eyes blazed behind her gold spectacles.

"You'll go when you are told." Awful pause. "When you are my age you may

suit yourself."

"Father hasn't had to wait all that time; he doesn't go now."

"Your father is very ill."

"Didn't go when he was well; that is, _hardly_ ever," added the explicit

young person.

"He went regularly as a boy, before he had a house of his own. But I'm

not accustomed to arguing with children. Go and get dressed."

Val wavered a moment, then faced about gravely. She planted herself

before the old lady, with the wide-apart legs and tense look of one who

braces herself to bear the crack of doom.

"I'm sorry to hurt your feelings," she said; "but I'm a infidel."

"What!"

"Yes; father and I are both infidels."

"Hush! you don't know what you're saying."

"Oh yes, I do. He says, 'Damn it!' when you're not there."

"How dare you!"

"I don't, but father does, so you see--"

"I see that you talk wildly and ignorantly, as well as too much. Go and

dress for church."

She had half risen, her eyebrows had risen wholly. She looked singularly

alarming. Val retreated backwards to the door, and Mrs. Gano resumed her

seat.

"I ain't so igorunt as you think," the child persisted. "The reason I

stopped going to church was because my conscience wouldn't let me join

in."

Mrs. Gano turned and looked at the child over the back of her

arm-chair. There was a gleam of amused tolerance in the steely eyes. Val

was quick to detect it.

"You see, it's not worth while to waste the whole morning nearly when

the only thing you can join in is a piece they don't do every Sunday."

"Which is that?" asked Mrs. Gano, in an odd voice.

She had turned away again, and Val couldn't see her face now.

"That long piece about the weather."

"The _weather_?"

"Yes--lightnings, and whales, and things. Don't you know that one? It's

like this." She put her hands behind her, and shrilly intoned: "'O ye

green things, angels and fowls of the air, praise Him and magnify Him

for-r-rever. O ye--'"

"That will do," interrupted Mrs. Gano, in a stifled voice.

Val felt snubbed; there was a lot more that, with encouragement, she

would have endeavored to do justice to. She felt for the door-handle,

but paused again on the threshold.

"Mayn't I go and sit with father?"

"Certainly not; you are to go to church."

"Gran'ma." There was a renewal of courage in the clear little voice.

With a bound she planted herself in front of the old lady's chair. "I

_oughtn't_ to go. It's pertending; it's wicked. For I can't say the 'I

b'lieve' any more."

Mrs. Gano rose in her wrath and towered. Val stood to her guns, looking

up with determined, excited face.

"I used to join in when I was younger: I used to bow, just like mother.

Father never bowed. _I_ don't any more, neither."

Mrs. Gano seized her by the shoulder and propelled her to the door. Wild

thoughts of dungeons and burned martyrs flew through the child's mind.

Still clutching the infidel, Mrs. Gano opened the door. In an awful

voice she called:

"Jerusha! Venus!"

Venus appeared with perturbed countenance, out of which all genial

companionableness had fled. Yes, that was the kind of face an

executioner might wear.

"Take Miss Val up-stairs and get her ready for church."

Venus took hold of the child none too gently, and pulled her, wriggling

vainly, up the long staircase. It was no use to cling feverishly to the

banisters; it only hurt her hands. Half-way up Venus stopped for breath.

Val looked back to see if her grandmother was still there. Yes; leaning

exhausted against the frame of the door, with her handkerchief to her

lips. Now Venus was dragging her on again. In a fresh access of rage the

child put her chin over the banisters and screamed:

"All the time they're doing the 'I b'lieve,' I shall go like this." She

shook her head with such passionate dissent that her shock of wild hair

swirled madly back and forth in a cloudy circle, completely hiding the

mutinous, flushed face of the infidel.

Very soon after the formal removal of Emmie and her effects to her

grandmother's bedroom, Val gave up the last lingering shred of hope that

she might ever, while these misunderstood days of childhood lasted,

propitiate the powers that be. She was always feeding her imagination in

secret with stories of the ultimate love and adoration, not only of the

suitors and heroes who should line her path later on, but of her family,

too. They and the entire community should adore her one day for

something wonderful and noble that she was going to be and to do in that

fair future when she should be grown up and great and good.

Meanwhile there were moments when this sense of present outlawry brought

with it a fierce and splendid joy. It endowed even a down-trodden child

with a superhuman courage. Such a one might even go and plump herself

down in the great red chair of state, and rock violently back and forth

in a wild abandonment of wickedness, while Emmie stood transfixed and

gran'ma's awful eyes made lightning. An outlaw so brave, she could

narrate unmoved that she had taken a ride in the milkman's cart. And he

had been "so perlite as to ask me how was Grandmother Gano." This

horrible insult on the part of the milkman was duly punished, but Val

had a momentary sense of having "got even." In the South--in any

civilized community, Mrs. Gano would have told you--you did not call

people "old"; it had foolishly enough come to be a term of reproach, or

at least of scant respect, fit only for "any old thing" of no account.

Therefore, let alone the "owdacious" familiarity of asking after a lady

as "Grandmother" So-and-so, you couldn't even with decency distinguish

the elder lady from her daughter-in-law by asking after old Mrs.

So-and-so. In the South, where manners were still understood, you said

"senior" and "junior," or, among the better class, you called the son's

wife "Mrs." So-and-so, and you called the head of the family "Madam."

"Grandmother Gano, indeed! I'll grandmother him!"

It was a great score, too, when Julia Otway, Jerry's nearly two years

older sister, assured Val that that common term of reproach "Grannie,"

was a corruption of the ancient and honorable title Gran'ma. Inseparably

associating the word with the drunken rag-picker, "Ole Granny Gill," and

the scathing juvenile satire, "Teach your granny to suck eggs," etc.,

Val determined on the next provocation to introduce the subject at home.

She found occasion to dilate on the virtues of Julia Otway's

grandmother. This was a shrunken and timid old lady, who sat unnoticed

in the corner, clicking her knitting-needles, and usually saying

nothing. When she did speak it was found her speech was odd, and the

children laughed.

"Nearly everybody else's gran'ma knits stockens," Val observed one day,

with critical eyes on the eternal book open on Mrs. Gano's knees.

"You know very few grandmothers," said the lady.

"I know Julia's. She's _so_ nice. I don't wonder Julia and Jerry like

her."

This elicited nothing.

"She's the _kindest_ person. She keeps a little chest o' drawers

chock-full o' doughnuts and winter-green candy."

"Very strange use for a chest of drawers. Is the lady right in her

head?"

Val, very indignant: "Goodness gracious! mercy me! I should think so!"

"I've told you not to use those exclamations."

"No, you didn't say--"

"Do I understand you to be contradicting me?"

"You said I wasn't to say 'Oh, Lord!' nor 'Gee-rusa-lem!' nor 'Dear me

suz!' nor 'Holy Moses!' I don't see what there's left to say."

"I said let your speech be 'Yea, yea,' and 'Nay, nay.' You are not to

bring sacred names into common talk. The Jews of old had a proper

instinct for these things. They never uttered the name of Jehovah even

in prayer. No Jew would step upon a piece of parchment, for fear it

might be inscribed with the name of God. It is impious to call upon the

mercy of the Most High on trivial occasions."

"I don't call on Him--never."

"Yes, you do, when you use those expressions. God is 'gracious'; He

alone is 'goodness.'"

Silence; then Val, recovering and returning to the attack:

"Jerry's grandmother--"

"Jerningham Otway's grandmother knows as well as I do that this is a

turbulent and stiff-necked generation, without fear of God or reverence

for authority. _Her_ remedy seems to be effacement for herself and

bribes for her young barbarians. But"--she had risen, and was

towering--"I'd have you know, my lady, _I'm_ not a doughnut

grandmother."

Val thought it time to depart. She moved briskly to the door, sending

over her shoulder a Parthian shot:

"Julia calls her gran'ma "Granny," and so do lots o' people. It seems

it's the reg'lar name."

Thereupon she took to her heels, for even outlaws know limits.

At a safe distance she would speculate darkly: "I wonder if she knows I

hate her. Oh yes; it would be a waste of breath to mention it. She

knows, and she doesn't care--she's that hardened."

It was clear at such times that this Ishmaelite's hand must be against

every man, and every man's hand against her. All consideration of decent

restraint had been flung to the winds. She had turned her back on the

hallowed customs of society, and joined the iconoclasts of earth. She

would even at times plant her elbows on the dinner-table before

everybody, with a wild, despairing sense that nothing mattered forever

any more. Nobody loved her. Even her father didn't want her about him

since his relapse. He said she came in like a whirlwind on the rare

occasions when she was admitted to his room. She should never forget

that day when he said: "Why can't you be quiet and good like Emmie?"

_Like Emmie!_ Val fled to the wilderness, and in the neighborhood of the

barberry-bush flung out her arms and apostrophized the heavens. She

talked a great deal to herself in those days--arraigned society, and

used long words with vague meaning, but studied accent and overwhelming

effect. However, in spite of the difficulty of life, Val found it an

exhaustless mine of interest. Being naughty alone was full of

palpitating excitement. Besides, she was much better than her family

realized; that of itself was curious, and at times sufficient. At any

rate, she was not, as she frequently observed to the scarlet

barberries--she was not a sniveller. Fortunately, it did not occur to

her that the circumstance might be less creditable to her than she

fondly imagined.

Her quarrel with domestic conditions lent a fine tragic interest, in her

own mind, to a life that was deep-rooted in joy. It was impossible not

to be happy, such a splendid world as it was--a world with

skipping-ropes and a stolen jack-knife in it; a world where an awful

jolly boy lived on the other side the osage-trees, and liked you better

than that favorite of fortune who had a pet monkey; a world with wild

tracts below its terraces where grandmothers ceased from troubling, and

hard-pressed heroines could hide and talk out loud. A new house

building in the next lot, with ceilings open to the sky, and instead of

common floors, great beams where a child who "never was 'fraid" could

walk up and down with its heart in its mouth; blocks to be picked up,

and a kind workman to talk to when it was cold and gran'ma wasn't

patrolling the north side of the Fort. Even for rainy afternoons there

were the beloved _Scottish Chiefs_; there were jack-stones, and a family

next door who owned a barn. Oh, a _splendid_ world, where you got twelve

winter-green drops for a cent, and could play on your father's fiddle in

the back hall! Hooray! it was a good plan this being born.

The Open Question: A Tale of Two Temperaments · 第 9 / 36 章