At the Quaint Shop in Sterling, Ill., one can buy bead necklaces, “so
beautiful,” as the shop quaintly puts it, “that every woman will want a
string to wear if she hasn’t anything else.”
* * * * *
A new idea is like an egg—the responsible party simply can’t help talking
about it.
_Our Rural Mail Bag_
=Dear Captain Billy:= I heartily agree with you in the belief that man is
a strange wild beast, and when he gets what he wanted, he wonders why he
wanted it. That’s why I’m on my way to Hot Springs, singing the rheumatic
blues.—=Sunset Slim.=
* * * * *
=Aromatic Army Cook=—Yes, I understand that the troop of Boston soldiers
you mention moved to Seattle so that they could live on the Sound.
* * * * *
=Blonde Beauty=—I do not know what you mean by the expression “He has a
Siberian dash board” unless it’s whiskers. Pay no attention to smooth
French talk. He’s bulling you.
* * * * *
=Abe Goldberg=—No, I wouldn’t advise you to locate your undertaking
establishment in O’Rourke park, Butte, Mont. You might as well sing
“Wearin’ o’ the Green” in Piccadilly Circus, if that’s all the value you
attach to your life.
* * * * *
=A. L. Tioga=—Sorry we can’t use your story about the barrel of apples
and the sack of nuts by which the family rat was caught.
* * * * *
=Sweet Dottie=—You say you do some awful things sometimes, but that
then it’s only to keep warm. If that’s your only reason, you had better
postpone your “new leaf” turning until summer.
* * * * *
=Bringemin Young=—We’ve heard your story before about the stenographer
who got $25 a week and half her board.
* * * * *
=Bobby=—I have heard that it goes good in cider.
* * * * *
=Miss Construe=—You say you miss your husband so often. Do you mean when
you throw things at him?
* * * * *
Mamma’s in the kitchen,
Singing “Alcoholic Blues,”
Father’s in the cellar,
Drinking Alcoholic Booze.
* * * * *