Having sealed and directed this, she dressed herself in one of the least
remarkable and plainest suits she had, taking nothing with her but a
little linnen which she crammed into her pockets, and so sat waiting
till she heard some of the family were stirring; then went down stairs,
and being; seen by one of the footmen, she told him she was not very
well, and was going to take a little walk in hopes the fresh air might
relieve her; he offered to wait upon her, but she refused, saying, she
chose to go alone.
Thus had she made her escape; but, when in the street, was seized with
very alarming apprehensions.--She was little acquainted with the town,
and knew not which way to turn in search of a retreat.--Resolving,
however, to go far enough, at least, from the house she had quitted, she
wandered on, almost tired to death, without stopping any where, till
chance directed her to a retired nook, where she saw a bill for lodgings
on one of the doors.--Here she went in, and finding the place convenient
for her present circumstances, hired a small, but neat chamber, telling
the people of the house that she was come to town in order to get a
service, and till she heard of one to her liking, would be glad to do
any needle-work she should be employed in.
The landlady, who happened to be a good motherly sort of woman, replied,
that she was pleased with her countenance, or she would not have
taken her in without enquiring into her character; and as she seemed not
to be desirous of an idle life, she would recommend her to those that
should find her work if she stayed with her never so long.
This was joyful news to our fair fugitive; and she blessed heaven for so
favourable a beginning of her adventures. The woman was punctual to her
promise; and being acquainted with a very great milliner, soon brought
her more work than she could do, without encroaching into those hours
nature requires for repose: but she seemed not to regret any fatigue to
oblige the person who employed her, and sent home all she did so neat,
so curious, and well wrought, that the milliner easily saw she had not
been accustomed to do it for bread, and was very desirous of having her
into the house, and securing her to herself. Louisa thinking it would be
living with less care, agreed to go, on this condition, that she should
be free to quit her in case any offer happened of waiting upon a lady.
This was consented to by the other, who told her, that since she had
that design, she could no where be so likely to succeed as at her house,
which was very much frequented by the greatest ladies in the kingdom,
she having the most Curiosities of any woman of her trade, which they
came there to raffle for.
On this Louisa took leave of her kind landlady, who having taken a great
fancy to her, and believing it would be for her advantage, was not sorry
to part with her. A quite new scene of life now presented itself to
her:--she found indeed the milliner had not made a vain boast; for her
house was a kind of rendezvous, where all the young and gay of both
sexes daily resorted.--It was here the marquis of W----r lost his heart,
for a time, to the fine mrs. S----ge:--here, that the duke of G----n
first declared his amorous inclinations for mrs. C----r:--here, that the
seemingly virtuous lady B----n received the addresses of that agreeable
rover mr. D----n:--here, that the beautiful dutchess of M---- gave that
encouragement, which all the world had sighed for, to the more fortunate
than constant mr. C----: in fine, it might properly enough be called the
theatre of gallantry, where love and wit joined to display their several
talents either in real or pretended passions.
Louisa usually sat at work in a back parlor behind that where the
company were; but into which some of them often retired to talk to each
other with more freedom.
This gave her an opportunity of seeing in what manner too many of the
great world passed their time, and how small regard some of them pay to
the marriage vow: everyday presented her with examples of husbands, who
behaved with no more than a cold civility to their own wives, and
carried the fervor of their addresses to those of other men; and of
wives who seemed rather to glory in, than be ashamed of a train of
admirers. How senseless would these people think me, said she to
herself, did they know I chose rather to work for my bread in mean
obscurity, than yield to marry where I could not love.--Tenderness,
mutual affection, and constancy. I find, are things not thought
requisite to the happiness of a wedded state; and interest and
convenience alone consulted. Yet was she far from repenting having
rejected Dorilaus, or being in the lead influenced by the example of
others.--The adventures she was witness of made her, indeed, more
knowing of the world, but were far from corrupting those excellent
morals she had received from nature, and had been so well improved by a
strict education, that she not only loved virtue for its own sake, but
despised and hated vice, tho' disguised under the most specious
pretences.
Her youth, beauty, and a certain sprightliness in her air, was too
engaging to be in the house of such a woman as mrs. C----ge, (for so
this court-milliner was called) without being very much taken notice of;
and tho' most of the gentlemen who came there had some particular object
in view, yet that did not hinder them from saying soft things to the
pretty Louisa as often as they had opportunity. Among the number of
those who pretended to admire her was mr. B----n, afterwards lord F----h;
but his addresses were so far from making any impression on her in
favour of his person or suit, that the one was wholly indifferent to
her, and the other so distasteful, that to avoid being persecuted with
it, she entreated mrs. C----ge to permit her to work above stairs, that
she might be out of the way of all such solicitations for the future,
either from him or any other. This request was easily complied with, and
the rather because she, who knew not the strength of her journey-woman's
resolution, nor the principles she had been bred in, was sometimes in
fear of losing so great a help to her business, by the temptations that
might be offered in a place so much exposed to sight. Mr. B----n no
sooner missed her, than he enquired with a good deal of earnestness for
her; and on mrs. C----ge's telling him she was gone away from her house,
became so impatient to know where, and on what account she had left her,
that this woman thinking it would be of advantage to her to own the
truth, (for she did nothing without that view) turned off the imposition
with a smile, and said, that perceiving the inclinations he had for her,
she had sent her upstairs that no other addresses might be a hindrance
to his designs.--This pleased him very well, and he ran directly to the
room where he was informed she was, and after some little discourse,
which he thought was becoming enough from a person of his condition to
one of her's, began to treat her with freedoms which she could not help
resisting with more fierceness than he had been accustomed to from women
of a much higher rank; but as he had no great notion of virtue,
especially among people of her sphere, he mistook all she said or did
for artifice; and imagining she enhanced the merit of the gift only to
enhance the recompence, he told her he would make her a handsome
settlement, and offered, as an earnest of his future gratitude, a purse
of money. The generous maid fired with a noble disdain at a proposal,
which she looked on only as an additional insult, struck down the purse
with the utmost indignation and cried, she was not of the number of
those who thought gold an equivalent for infamy; and that mean as she
appeared, not all his wealth should bribe her to a dishonourable action.
At first he endeavoured to laugh her out of such idle notions as he
called them, and was so far from being rebuffed at any thing she said,
that he began to kiss and toy with her more freely than before, telling
her he would bring her into a better humour; but he was wholly deceived
in his expectations, if he had any of the nature he pretended, for she
became so irritated at being treated in this manner, that she called out
to the servants to come to her assistance, and protected she would not
stay an hour longer in the house if she could not be secured from such
impertinencies; on which he said she was a silly romantic fool, and
flung out of the room.
Mrs. C----ge hearing there had been some bustle, came up soon after and
found Louisa in tears: she immediately complained, of mr. B----n's
behaviour to her, and said, tho' she acknowledged herself under many
obligations to her for the favours she had conferred on her, she could
not think of remaining in a place where, tho' she could not say her
virtue had any severe trials, because she had a natural detestation to
crimes of the kind that gentleman and some others had mentioned, yet her
person was liable to be affronted. The milliner, who was surprized to
hear her talk in this manner, but who understood her trade perfectly
well, answered, that he was the best conditioned civil gentleman in the
world;--that she did not know how it happened;--that she was certain
indeed he loved her; and that it was in his power to make her a very
happy woman if she were inclined to accept his offers;--but she would
perswade her to nothing.
These kind of discourses created a kind of abhorrence in Louisa, as they
plainly shewed her, what before she had some reason to believe, that she
was in the house of one who would think nothing a crime that she found
it her own interest to promote. However, she thought it would be
imprudent to break too abruptly with her, and contented herself for the
present with encasing her promise that neither mr. B----n, nor any other
person should for the future give her the least interruption of the
like sort.
From this day, however, she was continually ruminating how she should
quit her house, without running the risque of disobliging her so far as
not to be employed by her; for tho' she found herself at present free
from any of those importunities to which both by nature and principles
she was so averse, yet she could not answer to herself the continuing in
a place where virtue was treated as a thing of little or no consequence,
and where she knew not how soon she might again be subjected
to affronts.
Amidst these meditations the thoughts of Dorilaus frequently intervened:
she reflected on the obligations she had to him, and the mighty
difference between the morals of that truly noble and generous man, and
most of those she had seen at mrs. C----ge's: she wondered at herself at
the antipathy she had to him as a husband, whom she so dearly loved and
honoured as a friend; yet nothing could make her wish to be again on the
same terms with him she had lately been. It also greatly added to her
affliction that she knew not how to direct to her brother; for at the
time of his departure, little suspicious of having any occasion to
change the place of her abode, she had left the care of that entirely to
Dorilaus. She was one morning very much lost in thought on the odd
circumstances of her fortune, when a Gazette happening to lye upon the
table, she cast her eye, without design, upon the following
advertisement.
'Whereas a young gentlewoman has lately
thought fit to abscond from her best friends,
and with the most diligent search that could possibly
be made after her has not yet been heard of,
this is to acquaint her that if she pleases to return,
she shall hereafter have no disturbance of that
nature which it is supposed occasioned her withdrawing
herself, but live entirely according to
her own inclinations; and this the advertiser
hereof gives his word and honour (neither of
which she has any cause to doubt) faithfully to
adhere to.'
'It shall also be at her choice to live either at
the house she quitted, or to be again under the
care of that gentlewoman who was entrusted
with her education: she is therefore requested to
conceal herself no longer, lest her youth, beauty,
and inexperience of the town should betray her
innocence into those very snares she fears to fall
into.'
The very beginning of this paragraph gave her a conjecture it was meant
for no other than herself; and the more she read, the more she grew
convinced, of it.--It must be so, cryed she; every word,--every
circumstance confirms it.--How unhappy am I that I cannot return so
perfect an affection!--Instead of detesting my ingratitude, he only
fears I should receive the punishment of it.--What man but Dorilaus
would behave thus to the creature of his benevolence?--If I have any
merits, do not I owe them to his goodness?--My brother and myself, two
poor exposed and wretched foundlings, what but his bounty rear'd us to
what we are?--Hard fate!--unlucky passion that drives me from his
presence and protection.
Yet, would she say again, if he has indeed subdued that passion;--if he
resolves to think of me as before he entertained it; if I were certain
he would receive me as a child, how great would be, the blessing!
This confederation had so much effect on her, that she was half
determined to comply with the advertisement; but when she remembered to
have read that where love is sincere and violent, it requires a length
of time to be erased, and that those possessed of it are incapable of
knowing even their own strength, and, as he had said to her himself,
_that there was no answering for the consequences,_ she grew instantly
of another mind, and thought that putting herself again into the power
of such a passion was running too great a hazard.
The continual agitations of her mind, joined to want of air, a quite
different way of life, and perhaps fitting more closely to work than she
had been accustomed, threw her at length into a kind of languishing
indisposition, which, tho' it did not confine her to her bed, occasioned
a loss of appetite, and frequent faintings, which were very alarming to
her. Mrs. C----ge was extremely concerned to observe this change in her,
and would have the opinion of her own physician, who said that she had
symptoms of an approaching consumption, and that it was absolutely
necessary she should be removed into the country for some time.
Louisa readily complied with this advice, not only because she imagined
it might be of service for the recovery of her health, but also as it
furnished her with a pretence for leaving mrs. C----ge's house, to which
she was determined to return no more as a boarder. The good woman with
whom she had lodged at first recommended her to a friend of her's at
Windsor, where she immediately went, and was very kindly received.