CHAPTER XXIII

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"Oh my puir wean! My bonnie bairn!" crooned Mrs. Maitland, as she bent

over the figure of her daughter who, clinging to Matthew's knees, was

looking up into his face, as he lay back in his chair where he had

fallen, when Mysie fell at his feet. "Oh, my puir lamb, you're wet to

the skin, an' fair done; for God knows its an' awfu' mess you hae cam'

hame in."

"Puir thing," she wailed and crooned, again breaking out after having

kissed and fondled Mysie's wet face. "We hae lang hungered for

you--hungered for you for a gey lang time, an' noo you hae cam' hame,

near to daith's door. But we'll nurse you back. We'll mak' you strong

and healthy again. Oh, Mysie, my puir lassie. What ails you? Where hae

you been? What has happened to you a' this time? But what am I thinking

aboot," she broke off, "sitting here, when I should be gettin' some dry

claes for you, an' a bed ready."

She rose and began to busy herself shaking up a bed and diving into

drawers, bringing clean clothes forth and hanging them over a piece of

rope which stretched across the fireplace, so as to air and heat them,

the tears streaming from her eyes and occasionally a low moan breaking

from her as if forced by some inward pain; while Matthew, nearly

overcome with excitement, could only lie back in his chair, his eyes

closed and his hands stroking tenderly the wet young head that lay

against his knee.

"Faither," murmured Mysie, brokenly and weakly, "oh, faither, I've come

back. Jist let me lie here near you. I jist want you to clap my held, to

lean against you, an' gang to sleep. Are you angry wi' me, faither? Are

you--" and Mysie's eyes closed in a faint, as she lay limp against his

knee.

Just then the door opened and Mrs. Sinclair came in. She always came in,

after she had got everyone in the house to bed, to see how Matthew felt.

It was her first errand in the morning and her last before retiring at

night. She was generally the last visitor, and the door was always

locked and barred when she went away.

"Oh, Nellie, come awa' in," said Matthew. "You're a God's send this

nicht. I'm glad to see you. Mysie's jist cam' back, an' she has fented.

Gie's a bit haun' wi' her to get her into bed. Puir thing. She's fair

done up," and Matthew tried to raise up the prostrate figure of his

bairn; but sank back too weak, and too overcome to do anything.

"Dinna you trouble yourself, Matthew," said Mrs. Sinclair, gathering the

prostrate girl in her arms and raising her up on her knee like a child.

"Bring some dry claes. Jenny, an' get some warm watter bottles in the

bed. Puir thing, she's in an awfu' state. She's a' tremblin' an' maun

hae been awfu' ill," and she worked with and stripped the wet clothes

from the girl and soon had her in bed, but in spite of all her efforts

Mysie remained unconscious. She then left to get the doctor summoned,

leaving the sorrowing parents to look after the girl till she returned.

When she did come back, Matthew was in bed and his condition very much

worse. The excitement had been too much for him in his weakened state

and he lay exhausted, crying like a child.

Soon the doctor came and did all in his power. At the end of an hour

Mysie's eyes opened and she looked about her.

"Where's my faither?" she asked weakly. "Oh, I'm gled I'm hame."

"He's in bed," answered Mrs. Sinclair. "An' you're no' to talk the

nicht, Mysie. Jist lie still, like a good lass, an' drink this, an' in

the mornin' you'll may be a bit better." And Mysie drank, and with a

sigh of happy contentment, she turned her face to the wall, glad she was

now at home--home with her wounded spirit and broken life.

The soft easy chaff bed gave her more of rest and satisfaction than if

it had been eiderdown. She traced as of old the roses upon the cheap

paper with which the box bed was papered, and which had been her

mother's pride when it was put on. Mysie watched the twining and

intertwining of the roses, as they reached upward toward the ceiling

through a maze of woodbine and red carnations, and noted that the

curtains upon the bed were the same as they were when she had last slept

there.

The old wag-at-the-wa' clock which had belonged to her grandfather,

wheezed wearily from the corner and the shrill eerie call of a courting

cat outside broke familiarly upon her ear. Thus surrounded by the sights

and sounds of old, a glad contentment in her heart, she soon dozed off

into a deep sleep.

When Mrs. Sinclair went home just as midnight was striking she found

Robert sitting by the fire wondering at her absence. He had just

returned from a meeting at a neighboring village, and finding his

brothers and sisters all in bed and his mother not in the house with his

tea ready for him as usual, he wondered what was the matter.

"I was owre at Matthew's," she replied in answer to the question she

knew he was going to ask.

"Is he waur the nicht?" he asked quickly.

"Weel, it's no' him, although he's gey upset too; but Mysie has cam'

hame the nicht, an' puir lassie she is in an awfu' state," and she was

quick to note the soft blanching of his cheek as she spoke.

"Mysie hame," he echoed with quick interest.

"Ay, puir lassie; but I doot if I'm no' cheated that Mysie'll no' be

lang anywhere. The doctor says she's to be keepit quate; for she's gey

low. In fact he felt me at the door that he dinna think she could last a

week."

Robert sat a long time looking into the fire, while his mother got ready

his tea, and described to him all that she knew of Mysie's return and of

her sad condition.

"You'd hardly ken her," she went on. "She's that thin and white and faur

gane lookin', forby havin' a boast that wad fricht you. Puir lassie, I

was vexed for her an' Matthew too is gey upset aboot it. Dae you ken,

Rob, I believe they mun be gey hard gruppit. Wi' Matthew being off

work, and John deein' an' a' the ither troubles they had this while, I

think they canna be ower weel off."

"Ay," he said, "they canna be ower weel off; for they hae had a lot to

dae this while. You micht look to them, mither. We are no sae ill off

noo, an' we can afford tae help them."

"Weel, Rob, I've been aye givin' them a bit hand, buying beef for soup

an' that' an' daein' a' I could. But I'm awfu' puttin' aboot ower puir

Mysie. She's gey faur gane, an' wherever she has been she's been haein a

bad time of it."

"I saw her at Edinburgh," he said quietly, as she paused to pour out the

tea.

"In Edinburgh?"

"Ay," he replied. "Last month when I was at the conference," and Robert

told his mother the whole story of his meeting with Mysie and of her

disappearance and all that had happened to her from the time she had

gone away.

"But you never telt yin o' us, Rob," she said after he had come to the

end of the story.

"No, I never telt ony o' you; for Mysie made me promise no' to tell; an'

forby she wadna' gi'e me her address. But I was that upset that day that

I couldn't collect mysel' an' I minded o' a lot o' things I should hae

done an' said after I left her. It was terrible," and he relapsed into

silence again, as he went on with his supper.

His mother saw all the pain in his heart that night, though neither

spoke much of the state of his feelings for Mysie; but it was evident to

her who saw all the cross currents of fate, perhaps more clearly than

Robert knew.

She looked at him with furtive pride. There was no showy parading of

what he felt, but only the set of the mouth was a little firmer perhaps

than usual and the eyes a little softer and glistening. That was all.

"Ay, Robin," she said brokenly, unable to hide her pride and weakness.

"I ken a' that you hinna telt me. I guessed it years syne; but I'm sure

noo. An' I'm awfu' vexed, laddie; ay, I'm awfu' vexed," and with that he

withdrew to his room, more touched with her simple words of sympathy

than anything she had ever said to him in all her previous life.

Mrs. Sinclair went to bed, but she knew her laddie had not done so. She

heard him in his room and knew that in the silence of the night and in

the privacy and secrecy of his own room he was fighting out his battle

with fate, and she knew that no one could help him--that only the fiber

of his own soul could help him through.

In the morning he rose early and went for a walk, for it was Sunday.

Returning, he found his mother with the latest news of Mysie's

condition. She waited until the other members of the house had gone out,

and then with a sigh observed very quietly but with a world of tender

sympathy in her voice:

"Mysie's sinkin' fast, Robin. I think you should gang ower and see her.

She canna' last very lang, puir thing, an' she was askin' aboot you when

I was ower. I think she wad like to see you. You'll gang ower and see

her, Rob," she entreated, a sob in her throat as she spoke. "She'll be

awfu' pleased to see you."

"Ay, I'll gang ower, mither," he replied simply. "I'll gang ower efter a

wee while."

But it was drawing near to the darkness when he managed to summon

sufficient resolution to face the ordeal.

Mysie was lying in the room and he went in to see her--her whom he would

have given his own life to restore to activity and health again. A low

moan occasionally escaped her as she panted and battled for breath and

the color came and faded from her cheeks in quick fleeting waves.

Oh God! Was this Mysie--this faint apparition of the girl whom he had

loved? Even in the short month when he had seen her in Edinburgh a very

great change had been wrought upon her. The eyes, softly glowing with a

quiet radiance as they rested upon his face, were sunk, and the voice

faint and weak. A thin white hand lay upon the coverlet and the great

waves of brown hair which had been his pride, were tumbled about the

thin face framing it in a tangled oak brown frame of deepest beauty.

She lifted her hand as he approached, a sweet smile breaking through

her pain, caught him in radiance of love. "I'm glad you've come, Rob,"

she panted. "I jist wanted to see you again--an'--an' tak' good-by wi'

you," and the quick catch in her words gripped his heart as he knelt

beside the bed, taking the thin hand between his while the tears started

from his eyes and fell upon the white bed cover.

"Oh, Mysie," he said brokenly. His voice refused to go further and he

bent his head upon the bed, trying hard to control himself and keep from

breaking down before her.

"I'm awfu' vexed, Rob," she said, after a while. "It was a' a mistak'

an' naebody's to blame. I ought to hae kent better mysel'," and she

paused again for breath. "I--I should hae kent better, that nae guid

could come--oot o' it--I was just carried awa'. Dinna ever blame

lasses--nor men either, when things happen. They--they canna help

themsel's--" and here again she paused for breath, gasping and fighting

at every word.

"It's a' a mistake, Rob, an' I think it's a' in the way folk look at

thae things." Another pause, while her chest heaved and panted. "Maybe

we dinna look at thae things richt," she again resumed. "We--we mak'

mistak's and canna help oorsel's; but God dinna mean it as--as a

mistak'. It's a' because we think it is. Everything's richt--but we mak'

them wrang in the way we look at them. It wad hae--been a' richt--in oor

mind, if I had been married afore--afore it happened--but because we

werena married--it was wrang. It's a' a mistak' Rob, a' a--" and a burst

of coughing nearly choked her and a flood of blood began to gurgle in

her mouth.

Robert grew alarmed and lifting a cloth began to wipe the blood from her

mouth, looking on her so concerned and anxious that she tried to smile

to him to reassure him.

Presently she lay back with eyes closed and her hand limp in his. A wild

fear took possession of him as he looked upon the scarcely moving

breast, a fear which seemed to communicate itself to the sufferer, and

she opened her eyes again, but the voice was weak and very far away.

"Dinna be angry wi' onybody, Rob. It was you I liket, it was you I

wanted--but it was a' a mistake."

"I'm no' angry, Mysie," he said stifling his sobs, his tears falling

upon the white thin face. "Oh, Mysie, I'm only vexed. I'm only vexed

aboot the hale sad business. There now, dearie," he said bending low

over her and kissing and stroking the pallid brow and caressing the face

so dear to him. "There noo, I'm no' angry. You're mine, Mysie. You've

always been mine, an' I'm no' angry. But oh, I love you, Mysie, an' it's

breaking my heart to part frae you. Oh, God!" he groaned in agony. "What

does it a' mean? I canna' bear it,--I canna' bear't," and a wild burst

of grief swept over him as he flung his head and arms upon the bed in a

vain attempt to control his sobbing sorrow.

A long pause--then the white hand was raised and crept slowly over his

shoulder, working its way among the thick shaggy hair of his head as the

fingers strayed from curl to curl, patting him and soothing him as a

child is soothed by a mother's hand. It rested upon his bent head and

the eyes opened again.

"Ay, Rob, I'm vexed for your sake--but it was a' a mistake." She went on

halting and very weak. "It was a' a mistak'--an' naebody is to blame. We

are just--driven alang, an'--we canna help oorsel's--it's awfu' to

hae--sic feelin's--an'--an' no' hae any poo'er--to guide them

richt--it's ay the things we want maist--that we dinna get. Kiss me,

Rob--kiss me, as you kissed me--yon--nicht on the muir. Haud me like

you--an' I think I can--gang content. Oh, Rob,--ay liket you--it was you

I wanted a' the time!"

He clasped her tenderly in his arms as he kissed her mouth, her eyes,

her brow, her hair, stroking her and fondling the dear face, catching

hungrily the smile that came to the pale lips, and lingered there like a

blink of sun upon a hillside after the rest of the landscape is clothed

in shadow.

Again there was a pause while he searched the pale face with the

lingering smile, noting the veined, almost discolored eyelids,

transparent and closed over the tired suffering eyes. Then a burst of

coughing again and the blood in thick clots gurgled up from the throat.

Then after a little she spoke again.

"Oh, Rob, you hae made me very happy. But I'm vexed aboot you--an'--an'

Peter. He tried to dae what was richt; but it wasna to be--I hope

you'll--no'--be angry wi' him. He was like me--he couldna' help it."

"Oh, Mysie, I'm no' angry wi' him," he replied brokenly, trying hard to

make his voice sound dearly. "I'm no' angry wi' onybody."

"I'm glad o' that, Rob," she said, her hand caressing his head. "You was

ay a guid hearted laddie--I'm awfu' glad." Then her mind began to wander

and she was back in Edinburgh speaking of her father and John.

"Oh, faither," she rambled on. "Dinna be angry wi' me. There's naebody

to blame. Dinna be angry."

Then Robert was conscious that others were in the room, and looking up

he beheld his mother and Jenny Maitland and behind them with anxious

face and frightened eyes stood Peter Rundell, the picture of misery and

despair.

"She's kind o' wanderin', puir thing," he heard the mother say in

explanation to the others. "She's kind o' wanderin' in her mind."

It was a sad little group which stood round the dying girl, all anxious

and alarmed and watchful. Then after a while she opened her eyes again

and there was a look of startled surprise as if she were looking at

something in the distance. Then she began to recognize each and all of

them in turn, first Robert, who still held her hand, then her mother and

Nellie, and Peter. A faint smile came into her eyes and he stepped

forward. Her lips moved slowly and a faint sound came falteringly from

them.

"Dinna be angry wi' onybody," she panted. "It was a'--a--mistake."

Then raising her hand she held it out to Peter, who advanced towards the

bedside and placing his hand on Robert's she clasped them together in

her own. "There noo--dinna be angry--it was a' a mistake. It was Rob I

liket--it was him--I wanted. But it--was--a' a mistak'. Dinna be--" and

the glazed sunken eyes closed forever, never to open again, a faint

noise gurgled in her throat, and the dews of death stood out in beads

upon the pale brow. A tiny quiver of the eyelids, and a tremor through

the thin hands and Mysie--poor ruined broken waif of the world--was

gone.

"Oh, my God! She's deid," gasped Robert, clasping the thin dead hands in

a frenzy of passionate grief. "Oh, Mysie! Mysie! Oh God! She's deid,"

and his head bent low over the bed while great sobs tore through him,

and shook his young frame, as the storm shakes the young firs of the

woods. Then suddenly recollecting himself as his mother put her hand

upon his bent head saying: "Rise up, Robin, like a man. You maun gang

oot noo." He rose and with tears in his eyes that blinded him so that he

hardly saw where he was going, he stumbled out into the darkness under

the pale stars--out into the night to the open moor, his grief so

burdening that he felt as if the whole world had gone from his

reckoning.

"Oh, my poor Mysie," he groaned. "It was all a horrible mistake," and

the darkness came down in thick heavy folds as if the whole world were

mourning for the loss of the young girl's soul, but it brought no

comfort to him.

The underworld: The story of Robert Sinclair, miner · 第 23 / 25 章