_Lady Betty's Masquerade._
Prudence was mighty pleased to hear of our Engagement, as it would
afford her a near View of the gay World, which was what she had long
been desiring. After the Shop was closed, we set forth, attended by
_Peter_, who was also to see us safe back; and on reaching the Square,
we descried the House directly by the lighted Flambeaux.
Both the private and public Entrance were already in Commotion; but we
asked the Hall Porter for Mr. _James_, who presently appeared, still
in Deshabille. "You have taken me at my Word," said he smiling, "Your
Coming is of the earliest, and I dare not let you go up-Stairs yet, so
you must wait awhile in the Servants' Hall, till the Company begin to
arrive."
I was never in a Servants' Hall of that Description before; and I must
say that it afforded me Matter and Leisure for several Reflections.
Servants, Pastry-Cooks--Men and Boys, and so forth, were bustling in
and out, and we were pushed about a good Deal till we got into a quiet
Corner behind the Clock. It struck me that the Pleasures of the Quality
were purchased at the Price of a good Deal of Immorality in their
Dependents. Many a Glass of Wine did I see swallowed on the Sly; many a
Tart and Custard whipt off and hastily eaten in Corners. One would have
thought, in a great House like this, Fragments of Dainties had been so
common that they would have been no Temptations; but doubtless the poor
Servants had been so overwrought and debarred of their natural Rest
and regular Refreshments, that their Strength required a little keeping
up, for they had an arduous Evening before them. The Maids flirted and
jested; the Men used intemperate Language; in and out among them all
sailed my Lady Housekeeper from Time to Time, as proud as a Dutchess,
and in a Head and Primers that a Dutchess had probably worn, before
they were a little soiled.
By-and-by the Bustle increases. Mr. _James_ comes in, superbly
attired, and smilingly offers us Tarts and Tokay; but, though pressed,
we declined. Then he beckoned us to follow him, and piloted us
into a brilliant Ante-room where, behind some huge Orange Trees in
Wooden Tubs, he found us Seats that commanded a Vistoe of the two
Drawing-rooms beyond. Sure, the _King's_ Majesty could scarce dwell
in greater State. I think that neither _Whitehall_, _Windsor_, nor
_Hampton Court_ could ever have made a greater Show. The Ante-Chamber
Hangings were blue Velvet and Silver, the Drawing-room that came next
beyond was amber Satin and Gold; the Chamber beyond that was hung with
Goblin Tapestry. Also there were some large Mirrours, in which one
might behold one's self from Head to Foot.
I had very little Notion of what a Masked Ball was really like, but I
concluded the Company being attired as Monarchs, Roman Senators, and
Potentates of various Descriptions, would be sufficiently possessed
with their imaginary Dignities to display Gestures and Deportment of a
corresponding Sort, which would doubtless be very majestical. And these
again would be relieved by Light-Comedy Parts, which, well supported,
would be humorous and diverting.
As, let People assemble as late as they will, some one must still
be first, so it was on the present Occasion. A little Man, gaudily
attired, entered with a good Deal of Flutter and Importance, who, as
soon as he found the Apartments empty, exchanged his Strut for his
ordinary Gait, took off his Mask and put it on again several times,
perambulated the Saloons, peeped into everything, examined himself
again and again before the Mirrours, acted a little in Dumb-Show, sat
down before one of them, and finally curled himself up on a Settee and
dropped asleep.
I wonder how much the Expectation of Pleasure makes up the real Amount
of Pleasure apportioned to us in this Life. The Pleasure itself
continually disappoints; the Expectation of it has often Something
troubled and impatient; so that either Way there's perpetual Alloy.
_Prudence_ and I were now mighty anxious for the Company. A Group at
length entered, consisting of Maids of Honour and Courtiers of Queen
Elizabeth's Time, very much furbelowed and bedizened, who believed
themselves the first till they espied the little Man on the Settee,
when there were some small Jokes made about _Cymon_ and _Iphigenia_,
_Milton_ and the _Italian_ Lady, Sleeping _Beauty_ in the Wood, and
so forth. Then the Ladies settled their Ruffs at the Mirrours, and
sailed up and down; and one of them walked through Part of a Minuet
without Music with a Gentleman she called Sir _Christopher Hatton_, who
pointed his Toes extremely well. Then one of them said, "My Mask makes
my Face so hot!" "And red too," said the other; "but what will it be
by-and-by?" "I wonder if _Harry_ will come," says one; "I'll lay any
Wager I shall find him out."--"I'll lay any Wager you won't," says the
other. Thought I, is this the Way Maids of Honour used to talk in the
Days of good Queen _Bess_? Well, perhaps it may be.
Just then the little Man woke up, rubbing his Eyes, and saying
drowsily, "_John_, my hot Water at seven ..." on which the Ladies
tittered, and he woke up, looked about, and probably felt foolish.
Now the Musicians came, and took their Places, and began to tune up;
and _Prue_ whispered to me, "How delightful!" Indeed, the Music was,
or seemed to me, first-rate, and I enjoyed it as much as anything; yet
at length became inured to it, and scarce more attentive than to a
common Street Band; and finally wished the Men would not play so loud,
for it prevented my hearing what People were saying. The Ball-Rooms
now began to fill fast; and were soon crowded with _Jews_, _Turks_,
and _Saracens_, Nuns, Monks, and Friars, Goddesses, Shepherdesses, and
Milkmaids, Pulcinelloes, Mountebanks, and Ministers of State. Their
Dresses were excessive fine, and I almost trembled to think of the
Expense People had put themselves to for the Amusement of one Night;
however, that was all for the good of Trade--if so be they paid their
Bills.
As for supporting their Characters, there was scarce an Attempt at it;
the utmost that the greater Part of 'em did was to say, in little
squeaking Voices, "You don't know me!" "I know you!" This seemed to me
stupider than Child's-Play; and I was beginning to weary of it, when
_Prudence_ jogged me as a very pretty Figure passed, in striped Gauze
and pink Satin, sprinkled with Flowers, as the Goddess _Flora_; and
whispered, "Lady _Grace Bellair_."
Soon after, a smart young _Spanish_ Cavaliero came in, whom she
pronounced to be Mr. _Arbuthnot_; and a Bashaw with three Tails, whom
she decided upon as Sir _Charles Sefton_. Whether any of her Guesses
were right, I knew not. By-and-by, Dancing began in the inner Saloon;
and, for the first Time, I had a Glimpse of Lady _Betty_, who was the
only Woman without a Mask; and when I saw how great was her Advantage
therein over the rest, I wondered how Persons that evidently thought
mainly of outward Appearances could make themselves such Frights.
By-and-by a singular Couple, Arm in Arm, left the Ball-Rooms for the
Ante-Chamber, dressed like _Charles_ the Second's Courtiers, all
but their Heads; for one had the Head of a Fox, and the other of a
monstrous Goose. The latter said, "Quack!" whenever he was pushed by
the Crowd, which was held an exceeding good Joke, for Folks cried,
"Well done, Goose! Quack again!" and, when he did so, went into Peals
of Laughter. At Length, with his Friend the Fox, he sat down on a
Bench just in Front of our Orange-Trees, exclaiming to his Companion,
"Precious hot Work! Even Popularity may be too fatiguing."
"I never had enough of it to know that," says the Fox.
"You! Why, you've been steeped in it to the Lips!--among a certain
Coterie at any Rate. You are feigning Modesty, Mr. Fox."
"All I said was, I had never had too much; perhaps, not enough. We
belong to an insatiable Race. By-the-by, I proved myself a Goose
To-Night in choosing to play Fox, for you are by far the more popular."
"And only by saying Quack."
"Quackery goes a great Way in this World,--I might have known 'twould
be so."
"Monstrous fine Masquerade this!" said the Goose.
"Oh, delightful! Have you made out many People?"
"Why, to tell you the Truth, I've been so observed myself, I've had no
Time to observe others."
"Quack!"
"Sir! name your Hour, Place, and Weapon."
"How quiet and retired is everything in this little Spot! You have Time
to observe now."
"Why did you deny yourself to me Yesterday? I know you were at Home."
"The Truth is, I was desperately hypped."
"What made you so?"
"Study."
"What were you studying? The natural History of the Fox?"
"No, I was learning some Verses by Heart; and I'll spout them to you."
"Now then; don't be tedious."
"'_Three Things an Author's modest Wishes bound;
My Friendship, and a Prologue, and ten Pound._'"
"Oh, come! that's _Pope_!"
"Well, and it's my Case too--pretty near. A callow Poetling writes a
Piece, dedicates it to me, and expects me to patronize and print it."
"You? Why, I never saw your Name head a Dedication!"
"Well, Sir, you may shortly--if I find no Way of adroitly declining the
Honour, as I have done similar Favours before."
"Why decline?"
"Oh, the Thing's burthensome."
"The ten Pounds may be; but most People consider themselves honoured,
and are willing to pay for an expensive Luxury."
"Well, it's no Luxury to me."
"Don't have it, then."
"How avoid it?"
"By simple Neglect. He can't _ask_ for the ten Pounds, if you forget to
send them."
"No, but he may abuse me."
"If his Abuse is not clever, Nobody will read it. Come, you are making
a Mountain of a Molehill. If he has sent his Poem to you, send it back
'with Thanks,' or forget to return it altogether, or let a Spark fall
upon it."
"Then a Spark would fall upon _me_."
"Nay, if none of those Expedients can fit you, you must help yourself
to one. I begin to think you ought to have played Goose, in good
Earnest."
They now fell to talking of the Company, and criticizing their Dresses
and Deportment, but I was too preoccupied with what they had been
saying to attend much to their caustic Remarks; for though they spoke
quietly, and their false Heads somewhat disguised their Voices, I could
not help entertaining an Impression that the Fox was Mr. _Caryl_.
Was it poor Mr. _Fenwick_, then, he alluded to so unhandsomely? Oh,
the Hollowness of Worldlings! Why, had I not with my own Ears heard
him commend Mr. _Fenwick's_ Poem to his Face, and thank him for the
Compliment of the Dedication? And yet, here he was waiving it off, as
'twere, and even hinting that Mr. _Fenwick_ wanted to be paid for it!
whereas I knew he had refused Money when offered! Oh, the Meanness!...
He was jealous, and envious too, I could make out, of a Man that had
writ better Verses than his own; and would fain have them supprest.
Well, well, this is a wicked World we live in; and that's no News
neither.
A false Head and a false Heart, thought I, as the Fox walked off with
the Goose. I declare my Hands tingled to pull off that Fox's Head
and expose him; but that would have been witless. I got tired of the
Vanity-Fair long before _Prudence_ did. At length even she had had
enough (and no Wonder, for our Attention had been on the full Stretch
for many Hours, without Refreshment or Change of Posture); but the
Difficulty was, how to steal away; for the Lobbies and grand Staircase
were as thronged as the Ball-Rooms, and we could not in our plebeian
Dresses, and unmasked, attempt going among the Company; so there we
continued to sit, long after we wanted to come away. At length the
Rooms began to thin; and we took Advantage of a chance Dispersion of
the Company to make a sudden Flight to the back Stairs. I thought
I heard Remarks and Exclamations made, but never looked round; and
there, at the Foot of the back Stairs, stood _Peter_ as pale as Death,
thinking he had missed us, and never should find us. He had passed
the Night, of course, at a Public-House--no good place for him, nor
for scores of others that did the same; and was now waiting with our
camelot Cloaks and Clogs, which he had stowed safely somewhere where
he knew he could find them again. Once equipped, we followed close at
his Heels as he elbowed his Way through a Rabble-Rout of Chairmen,
Link-Boys, Hackney-Coachmen, Pickpockets, and Lookers-on. It was
pouring of Rain, the Pavement shone like Glass, Day was breaking, and I
never heard such an uproar in my Life.... "Lady So-and-so's Chariot!"
echoed from one hoarse Voice to another all along and round the Corner;
and then "Lady So-and-so's Chariot stops the Way!"--till Lady So-and-so
stepped in and drove off.
At length we got quit of it all, and picked our Way Home as we best
could, and a long Way it seemed! We had too much to do in minding our
Dresses, to have Leisure for talking. As we got towards the _Five
Fields_ we met plenty of Market-Carts; and now and then we heard the
shrilly Cry of some poor little Chimney-Sweep. Once at Home, we were
soon in Bed and asleep; and I awoke nearly at my usual Time, chilly and
yawnish, but _Prue_ continued sleeping, and I did not wake her.
I was not down quite as soon as usual, after all, and the Milk and
Bread were behind Time; and, of Course, Mr. _Fenwick_ did not get his
Chocolate as soon as usual. When he heard what had made me late, he
looked grave. I said, "Sure, Sir, there was no Harm in looking on?"
He said, "Well, I don't know.... It is dangerous to attend not merely
Places of pernicious but of doubtful Amusement. Do not your Feelings
this Morning tell you that there was Something unsound and unsafe in
the Revelry of last Night? And if so in the Case of mere Spectators,
how much more in that of actual Participators? and of all those poor
People, no voluntary Promoters of it, who only obeyed Orders, and got
no Pleasure at all, but what was allied to Dishonesty and Intemperance?
I don't want to be overstrict; but am I right or wrong, think you, Mrs.
_Patty_?" And I was obliged to own that I believed he was in the Right
on't.
As for _Prue_, she was fit for Nothing all Day; but she would hear
of no Wrong in what had to her been so delightful. So I left her to
amuse my quiet _Mother_ with her lively Chat, and attended to the Shop
myself.
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