Though women may often feel in doubt concerning the intentions of men
who pay them attentions, they cannot help recognizing deep Love in a man
instantly; for the symptoms, as described in a previous chapter, are
absolutely unmistakable. A woman, too, who loves deeply, can hardly help
betraying herself, by the sly opportunities she finds for meeting her
lover (purely accidental, of course), and by the special pains she takes
to make it clear to her friends that she does not care for _that_ man
certainly; often also by the fact, pointed out by Jean Paul, that “Love
increases man’s delicacy and lessens woman’s”; tempting her occasionally
to throw away all prudence and regard for public opinion, in the wild
intoxication of her passion and her confidence in her lover.
But in cases of doubt—how is a lover to decide whether it is safe and
worth while to proceed? A woman’s Coyness, of course, means nothing, and
may have been brought on by an assumption of excessive confidence and
boldness on the man’s part. Girls are like wild colts. They may be
safely approached to a certain distance, whence one step more will cause
them to stampede; but stand still at that point, and before long they
will cast away fear and meet you half-way.
Trifles are the only safe tests of Love. For they are not so apt as
weighty words and actions to be the outcome of a deliberate coquettish
desire to deceive. To ascertain if you are loved—and this holds true for
both sexes—allude (with a careless assumption of indifference) to some
trifling details of previous conversation or common experience. If she
(or he) remembers them all, especially if of remote occurrence, the
chances are you are loved.