Writers on evolution have a very simple and convenient way of verifying
their inferences, by applying the rule—which seems to hold true
universally—that the different stages through which an individual passes
in his development—physical and mental—correspond to the periods of
development through which the whole race has passed.
This principle, applied to our present problem, fits exactly, and proves
that the account given in the preceding pages of the development of Love
is correct.
Historically we have seen that of all affections Maternal Love is the
earliest and (until after Romantic Love appears) the strongest. Then
paternal, filial, and fraternal love are gradually developed, followed
by friendship (Greek), and finally by Love proper.
Just so with the individual. The baby’s first love is for its mother,
whose tender expression and beaming eyes throw the first reflected smile
on its face, and touch the first cord of sympathetic attachment. Then
the father comes in for his share of attention, followed by sisters and
brothers. At school begins the era of friendship, representing
“classical” love, and often as ardent and Love-like as among the ancient
Greeks. Finally Romantic Love appears on the scene, eclipsing every
other emotion. And, like historic Love, it generally passes through a
blind, silly, chivalric stage, known as “calf-love,” which at last is
succeeded by real, intense romantic passion, that leads to monogamous
marriage, the central pillar of modern civilisation.
Not only have we seen that Romantic Love is the latest and the strongest
of all affections, but the causes which retarded its development have
been indicated. Chief among these were the negation of Individual
Preference, and the absence of opportunities for Courtship, already
deplored by Plato. As long as women were captured, or bought, or
disposed of by father or mother without any reference to their own will,
Sexual Selection on the female’s part was of course out of the question;
and on the man’s part it was rendered impossible by the absence of
Courtship. Wooing a woman was not winning _her_ favour, but impressing
her father with a display of wealth or social power. Thus there were no
opportunities on her part for the display of personal charms or the
cunning art of Coyness, or for inflaming and feeding his passion through
Jealousy by bestowing an occasional mischief-making smile on his rivals;
there were no lover’s quarrels followed by sweet reconciliations and an
increase of Love; no short absences fanning Love with sighs; no
alternate feelings of hope and despair, inspired by his or her fickle or
uncertain actions; no chance for displays of Gallantry and mutual
Self-sacrifice and assistance; no sympathetic exchange and consequent
doubling of pleasures, real or anticipated; none, in fact, of the more
subtle traits and emotions which make Romantic Love what it is.