On this subject the most incorrect and absurd notions universally
pervade modern literature and conversation. As commonly understood,
“Platonic Love” means a friendship between a man and a woman from which
all traces of passion are excluded. Such a notion is utterly foreign to
Plato’s way of thinking, and is nowhere referred to in his writings.
Platonic love has nothing to do with women whatever. It is an attachment
between a man and a youth, which may be defined as friendship united
with the ecstatic ardour which in modern life is associated only with
Romantic Love.
Mr. George Grote thus describes what he calls the “truly Platonic
conception of love”. It is “a vehement impulse towards mental communion
with some favoured youth, in view of producing mental improvement, good,
and happiness to both persons concerned: the same impulse afterwards
expanding, so as to grasp the good and beautiful in a larger sense, and
ultimately to fasten on goodness and beauty in the pure Ideal.”
Once more, Platonic love might be defined as _creative friendship_,
which has for its object the conception of great ideas,—of works of art,
literature, philosophy. Such a friendship, Plato tells us, should be
formed between a man and a youth, not too young, but when his beard
begins to grow and his intellect to develop; and such a friendship is
apt to last throughout life.
Perhaps the most striking instance in Greek literature of Platonic love
is that given in Plato’s _Symposium_ as existing between the pure-minded
Sokrates, who kept aloof from all Greek vices, and the beautiful young
Alkibiades. This youth thus describes the effect which the discourse of
Sokrates has on him: “When I hear him, my heart leaps in my breast, more
than it does among the Korybantes, and tears roll down my cheeks at his
words, and I notice that many others have the same experience. When I
heard Perikles and other excellent orators, I came to the conclusion
that they spoke well; but this experience was different from the other,
and my soul did not lose its control or gnash its teeth like a prostrate
slave, but by this Marsyas (= Sokrates) I was put into such a mood that
the condition in which I found myself did not seem praiseworthy.”
He further describes Sokrates as being always “in love with beautiful
youths, and talking with them, and being quite beside himself”; hence
when he (Alkibiades) appears at the Symposium, and finds Sokrates
sitting next to the most beautiful man in the company, he chides him in
words which have exactly the sound of Jealousy inspired by _Romantic_
Love: “And why did you recline here and not next to Aristophanes, or
some other wit, or would-be wit, but, instead, crowded forward in order
to be next to the handsomest?”
To which Sokrates replies: “Agathon, come to my assistance; for my love
for this person has cost me dearly. Ever since I have loved him, I have
not been allowed to look at anybody, or to talk with any one who is
beautiful, or else this youth, in his jealousy and envy, does
unheard-of-things, and chides me, and hardly refrains from violence. Be
on your guard, therefore, that he may not resort to violence now, and
reconcile us, or if he dares to become unruly, assist me; for I very
much fear his madness and infatuation.”
Although this was probably said in the playful tone common to Sokrates,
it yet is noticeable how closely the language used resembles the
language of modern Romantic Love.