All the cases thus far referred to relate to what might be called
indirect or mediate courtship. When a girl is captured and knocked on
the head she can hardly be said to be courted and consulted as to her
wishes; and the man too, in such cases, owing to the dangers of the
sport, is apt to pay no great attention to a woman’s looks and
accomplishments, but to bag the first one that comes along. In courtship
by Purchase, again, the girl is rarely consulted as to her own
preferences, the addresses being paid to the father, who invariably
selects the wealthiest of the suitors, and only in rare cases allows the
daughter a choice, as among the Kaffirs if the suitors happen to be
equally well off. And thirdly, in courtship by Service, the suitor’s
work is not done to please the daughter, but to recompense the parents
for losing her.
Yet there appear to be some instances of real courtship, in the modern
sense of the word, among the lower races, where the lovers pay their
addresses directly to the girl and she chooses or rejects at will. Thus,
among the Orang-Sakai, on the Malayan peninsula, the following custom
prevails, as described by Ploss: “On the wedding-day, the bride, in
presence of her relatives, and those of her lover, and many other
witnesses, is obliged to run into the forest. After a fixed interval the
bridegroom follows and seeks to catch her. If he succeeds in capturing
the bride she becomes his wife, otherwise he is compelled to renounce
her for ever. If therefore a girl dislikes her suitor, she can easily
escape from him and hide in the forest until the time allowed for his
pursuit has expired.”
Darwin remarks, in trying to prove the existence of Sexual Selection
among the lower races, that “in utterly barbarous tribes the women have
more power in choosing, rejecting, and tempting their lovers, or of
afterwards changing their husbands, than might have been expected;” and
he cites the following cases, among others: “Amongst the Abipones, a man
on choosing a wife, bargains with the parents about the price. But ‘it
frequently happens that the girl rescinds what has been agreed upon
between the parents and the bridegroom, obstinately rejecting the very
mention of marriage.’ She often runs away, hides herself, and thus
eludes the bridegroom. Captain Musters, who lived with the Patagonians,
says that their marriages are always settled by inclination; ‘if the
parents make a match contrary to the daughter’s will, she refuses, and
is never compelled to comply.’ In Tierra del Fuego a young man first
obtains the consent of the parents by doing them some service, and then
he attempts to carry off the girl; ‘but if she is unwilling, she hides
herself in the woods until her admirer is heartily tired of looking for
her, and gives up the pursuit; but this seldom happens.’”