SHOWING HOW ROBINSON WALKED UPON ROSES.
"Will it ever be said of me when my history is told that I spent
forty thousand pounds a-year in advertising a single article? Would
that it might be told that I had spent ten times forty thousand." It
was thus that Robinson had once spoken to his friend Poppins, while
some remnant of that five hundred pounds was still in his hands.
"But what good does it do? It don't make anything."
"But it sells them, Poppins."
"Everybody wears a shirt, and no one wears more than one at a time. I
don't see that it does any good."
"It is a magnificent trade in itself. Would that I had a monopoly of
all the walls in London! The very arches of the bridges must be worth
ten thousand a-year. The omnibuses are invaluable; the cabs are a
mine of wealth; and the railway stations throughout England would
give a revenue for an emperor. Poppins, my dear fellow, I fancy that
you have hardly looked into the depths of it."
"Perhaps not," said Poppins. "Some objects to them that they're all
lies. It isn't that I mind. As far as I can see, everything is mostly
lies. The very worst article our people can get for sale, they call
'middlings;' the real middlings are 'very superior,' and so on.
They're all lies; but they don't cost anything, and all the world
knows what they mean. Bad things must be bought and sold, and if
we said our things was bad, nobody would buy them. But I can't
understand throwing away so much money and getting nothing."
Poppins possessed a glimmering of light, but it was only a
glimmering. He could understand that a man should not call his own
goods middling; but he could not understand that a man is only
carrying out the same principle in an advanced degree, when he
proclaims with a hundred thousand voices in a hundred thousand
places, that the article which he desires to sell is the best of
its kind that the world has yet produced. He merely asserts with
his loudest voice that his middlings are not middlings. A little
man can see that he must not cry stinking fish against himself;
but it requires a great man to understand that in order to abstain
effectually from so suicidal a proclamation, he must declare with
all the voice of his lungs, that his fish are that moment hardly out
of the ocean. "It's the poetry of euphemism," Robinson once said to
Poppins;--but he might as well have talked Greek to him.
Robinson often complained that no one understood him; but he forgot
that it is the fate of great men generally to work alone, and to
be not comprehended. The higher a man raises his head, the more
necessary is it that he should learn to lean only on his own
strength, and to walk his path without even the assistance of
sympathy. The greedy Jones had friends. Poppins with his easy
epicurean laisser aller,--he had friends. The decent Brown, who would
so fain be comfortable, had friends. But for Robinson, there was no
one on whose shoulder he could rest his head, and from whose heart
and voice he could receive sympathy and encouragement.
From one congenial soul,--from one soul that he had hoped to
find congenial,--he did look for solace; but even here he was
disappointed. It has been told that Maryanne Brown did at last
consent to name the day. This occurred in May, and the day named was
in August. Robinson was very anxious to fix it at an earlier period,
and the good-natured girl would have consented to arrange everything
within a fortnight. "What's the use of shilly-shallying?" said she
to her father. "If it is to be done, let it be done at once. I'm so
knocked about among you, I hardly know where I am." But Mr. Brown
would not consent. Mr. Brown was very feeble, but yet he was very
obstinate. It would often seem that he was beaten away from his
purpose, and yet he would hang on it with more tenacity than that of
a stronger man. "Town is empty in August, George, and then you can be
spared for a run to Margate for two or three days."
"Oh, we don't want any nonsense," said Maryanne; "do we, George?"
"All I want is your own self," said Robinson.
"Then you won't mind going into lodgings for a few months," said
Brown.
Robinson would have put up with an attic, had she he loved consented
to spread her bridal couch so humbly; but Maryanne declared with
resolution that she would not marry till she saw herself in
possession of the rooms over the shop.
"There'll be room for us all for awhile," said old Brown.
"I think we might manage," said George.
"I know a trick worth two of that," said the lady. "Who's to make pa
go when once we begin in that way? As I mean to end, so I'll begin.
And as for you, George, there's no end to your softness. You're that
green, that the very cows would eat you." Was it not well said by
Mr. Robinson in his preface to these memoirs, that the poor old
commercial Lear, whose name stood at the head of the firm, was cursed
with a Goneril,--and with a Regan?
But nothing would induce Mr. Brown to leave his home, or to say that
he would leave his home, before the middle of August, and thus the
happy day was postponed till that time.
"There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip," said Poppins,
when he was told. "Do you take care that she and Polly ain't off to
Aldersgate Street together."
"Poppins, I wouldn't be cursed with your ideas of human nature,--not
for a free use of all the stations on the North Western. Go to
Aldersgate Street now that she is my affianced bride!"
"That's gammon," said Poppins. "When once she's married she'll go
straight enough. I believe that of her, for she knows which side her
bread's buttered. But till the splice is made she's a right to please
herself; that's the way she looks at it."
"And will it not please her to become mine?"
"It's about the same with 'em all," continued Poppins. "My Polly
would have been at Hong Kong with the Buffs by this time, if I hadn't
knocked the daylight out of that sergeant." And Poppins, from the
tone in which he spoke of his own deeds, seemed to look back upon his
feat of valour with less satisfaction than it had given him at the
moment. Polly was his own certainly; but the comfort of his small
menage was somewhat disturbed by his increasing family.
But to return. Robinson, as we have said, looked in vain to his
future partner in life for a full appreciation of his own views as to
commerce. "It's all very well, I daresay," said she; "but one should
feel one's way."
"When you launch your ship into the sea," he replied, "you do not
want to feel your way. You know that the waves will bear her up, and
you send her forth boldly. As wood will float upon water, so will
commerce float on the ocean streams of advertisement."
"But if you ran aground in the mud, where are you then? Do you take
care, George, or your boat 'll be water-logged."
It was during some of these conversations that Delilah cut another
lock of hair from Samson's head, and induced him to confess that he
had obtained that sum of five hundred pounds from her father, and
spent it among those who prepared for him his advertisements. "No!"
said she, jumping up from her seat. "Then he had it after all?"
"Yes; he certainly had it."
"Well, that passes. And after all he said!"
A glimmering of the truth struck coldly upon Robinson's heart. She
had endeavoured to get from her father this sum and had failed. She
had failed, and the old man had sworn to her that he had it not. But
for what purpose had she so eagerly demanded it? "Maryanne," he said,
"if you love another more fondly than you love me--"
"Don't bother about love, George, now. And so you got it out of him
and sent it all flying after the rest. I didn't think you were that
powerful."
"The money, Maryanne, belonged to the firm."
"Gracious knows who it belongs to now. But, laws;--when I think of
all that he said, it's quite dreadful. One can't believe a word that
comes out of his mouth."
Robinson also thought that it was quite dreadful when he reflected
on all that she must have said before she had given up the task as
helpless. Then, too, an idea came upon him of what he might have to
endure when he and she should be one bone and one flesh. How charming
was she to the eyes! how luxuriously attractive, when in her softer
moments she would laugh, and smile, and joke at the winged hours
as they passed! But already was he almost afraid of her voice, and
already did he dread the fiercer glances of her eyes. Was he wise in
this that he was doing? Had he not one bride in commerce, a bride
that would never scold; and would it not be well for him to trust
his happiness to her alone? So he argued within his own breast. But
nevertheless, Love was still the lord of all.
"And the money's all gone?" said Maryanne.
"Indeed it is. Would I had as many thousands to send after it."
"It was like your folly, George, not to keep a little of it by you,
knowing how comfortable it would have been for us at the beginning."
"But, my darling, it belonged to the firm."
"The firm! Arn't they all helping themselves hand over hand, except
you? There was Sarah Jane in the shop behind the counter all
yesterday afternoon. Now, I tell you what it is; if she's to come in
I won't stand it. She's not there for nothing, and she with children
at home. No wonder she can keep a nursemaid, if that's where she
spends her time. If you would go down more into the shop, George, and
write less of them little books in verse, it would be better for us
all."
And so the time passed on towards August, and the fifteenth of that
month still remained fixed as the happy day. Robinson spent some
portion of this time in establishing a method of advertisement, which
he flattered himself was altogether new; but it must be admitted in
these pages that his means for carrying it out were not sufficient.
In accordance with this project it would have been necessary to
secure the co-operation of all the tailors' foremen in London, and
this could not be done without a douceur to the men. His idea was,
that for a period of a month in the heart of the London season, no
new coat should be sent home to any gentleman without containing in
the pocket one of those alluring little silver books, put out by
Brown, Jones, and Robinson.
"The thing is, to get them opened and looked at," said Robinson.
"Now, I put it to you, Poppins, whether you wouldn't open a book like
that if you found that somebody had put it into your tail coat."
"Well, I should open it."
"You would be more or less than mortal did you not? If it's thrown
into your cab, you throw it out. If a man hands it to you in the
street, you drop it. If it comes by post, you throw it into the
waste-paper basket. But I'll defy the sternest or the idlest man not
to open the leaves of such a work as that when he first takes it out
of his new dress-coat. Surprise will make him do so. Why should his
tailor send him the book of B., J., and R.? There must be something
in it. The name of B., J., and R., becomes fixed in his memory, and
then the work is done. If the tailors had been true to me, I might
have defied the world." But the tailors were not true to him.
During all this time nothing was heard of Brisket. It could not be
doubted that Brisket, busy among his bullocks in Aldersgate Street,
knew well what was passing among the Browns in Bishopsgate Street.
Once or twice it occurred to Robinson that the young women, Maryanne
namely and Mrs. Poppins, expected some intervention from the butcher.
Was it possible that Mr. Brisket might be expected to entertain less
mercenary ideas when he found that his prize was really to be carried
off by another? But whatever may have been the expectations of the
ladies, Brisket made no sign. He hadn't seen his way, and therefore
he had retired from the path of love.
But Brisket, even though he did not see his way, was open to female
seduction. Why was it, that at this eventful period of Robinson's
existence Mrs. Poppins should have turned against him? Why his old
friend, Polly Twizzle, should have gone over to his rival, Robinson
never knew. It may have been because, in his humble way, Poppins
himself stood firmly by his friend; for such often is the nature of
women. Be that as it may, Mrs. Poppins, who is now again his fast
friend, was then his enemy.
"We shall have to go to this wedding of George's," Poppins said
to his wife, when the first week in August had already passed. "I
suppose old Pikes 'ill give me a morning." Old Pikes was a partner in
the house to which Mr. Poppins was attached.
"I shan't buy my bonnet yet awhile," said Mrs. Poppins.
"And why not, Polly?"
"For reasons that I know of."
"But what reasons?"
"You men are always half blind, and t'other half stupid. Don't you
see that she's not going to have him?"
"She must be pretty sharp changing her mind, then. Here's Tuesday
already, and next Tuesday is to be the day."
"Then it won't be next Tuesday; nor yet any Tuesday this month.
Brisket's after her again."
"I don't believe it, Polly."
"Then disbelieve it. I was with him yesterday, and I'll tell you who
was there before me;--only don't you go to Robinson and say I said
so."
"If I can't make sport, I shan't spoil none," said Poppins.
"Well, Jones was there. Jones was with Brisket, and Jones told him
that if he'd come forward now he should have a hundred down, and a
promise from the firm for the rest of it."
"Then Jones is a scoundrel."
"I don't know about that," said Mrs. Poppins. "Maryanne is his wife's
sister, and he's bound to do the best he can by her. Brisket is a
deal steadier man than Georgy Robinson, and won't have to look for
his bread so soon, I'm thinking."
"He hasn't half the brains," said Poppins.
"Brains is like soft words; they won't butter no parsnips."
"And you've been with Brisket?" said the husband.
"Yes; why not? Brisket and I was always friends. I'm not going to
quarrel with Brisket because Georgy Robinson is afraid of him. I knew
how it would be with Robinson when he didn't stand up to Brisket that
night at the Hall of Harmony. What's a man worth if he won't stand up
for his young woman? If you hadn't stood up for me I wouldn't have
had you." And so ended that conversation.
"A hundred pounds down?" said Brisket to Jones the next day.
"Yes, and our bill for the remainder."
"The cash on the nail."
"Paid into your hand," said Jones.
"I think I should see my way," said Brisket; "at any rate I'll come
up on Saturday."
"Much better say to-morrow, or Friday."
"Can't. It's little Gogham Fair on Friday; and I always kills on
Thursday."
"Saturday will be very late."
"There'll be time enough if you've got the money ready. You've spoken
to old Brown, I suppose. I'll be up as soon after six on Saturday
evening as I can come. If Maryanne wants to see me, she'll find me
here. It won't be the first time."
Thus was it that among his enemies the happiness of Robinson's life
was destroyed. Against Brisket he breathes not a word. The course was
open to both of them; and if Brisket was the best horse, why, let him
win!
But in what words would it be right to depict the conduct of Jones?