SHOWING HOW THE FIRM INVENTED A NEW SHIRT.
It has already been said that those four men in armour, on the
production of whom Robinson had especially prided himself, were
dispensed with after the first fortnight. This, no doubt, was brought
about through the parsimony of Mr. Brown, but in doing so he was
aided by a fortuitous circumstance. One of the horses trampled on a
child near the Bank, and then the police and press interfered. At
first the partners were very unhappy about the child, for it was
reported to them that the poor little fellow would die. Mr. Brown
went to see it, and ascertained that the mother knew how to make the
most of the occurrence;--and so, after a day or two, did the firm.
The Jupiter daily newspaper took the matter up, and lashed out
vigorously at what it was pleased to call the wickedness as well as
absurdity of such a system of advertising; but as the little boy
was not killed, nor indeed seriously hurt, the firm was able to
make capital out of the Jupiter, by sending a daily bulletin from
Magenta House as to the state of the child's health. For a week the
newspapers inserted these, and allowed the firm to explain that they
supplied nourishing food, and paid the doctor's bill; but at the end
of the week the editor declined any further correspondence. Mr. Brown
then discontinued his visits; but the child's fortune had been made
by gifts from a generous public, and the whole thing had acted as an
excellent unpaid advertisement. Now, it is well understood by all
trades that any unpaid advertisement is worth twenty that have cost
money.
In this way the men in armour were put down, but they will be long
remembered by the world of Bishopsgate Street. That they cost money
is certain. "Whatever we do," said Mr. Brown, "don't let's have any
more horses. You see, George, they're always a-eating!" He could not
understand that it was nothing, though the horses had eaten gilded
oats, so long as there were golden returns.
The men in armour, however, were put down, as also was the car of
Fame. One horse only was left in the service of the firm, and this
was an ancient creature that had for many years belonged to the
butter establishment in Smithfield. By this animal a light but large
wooden frame was dragged about, painted Magenta on its four sides,
and bearing on its various fronts different notices as to the
business of the house. A boy stood uncomfortably in the centre,
driving the slow brute by means of reins which were inserted through
the apertures of two of the letters; through another letter above
there was a third hole for his eyes, and, shut up in this prison, he
was enjoined to keep moving throughout the day. This he did at the
slowest possible pace, and thus he earned five shillings a week. The
arrangement was one made entirely by Mr. Brown, who himself struck
the bargain with the boy's father. Mr. Robinson was much ashamed of
this affair, declaring that it would be better to abstain altogether
from advertising in that line than to do it in so ignoble a manner;
but Mr. Brown would not give way, and the magenta box was dragged
about the streets till it was altogether shattered and in pieces.
Stockings was the article in which, above all others, Mr. Brown was
desirous of placing his confidence. "George," said he, "all the world
wears stockings; but those who require African monkey muffs are in
comparison few in number. I know Legg and Loosefit of the Poultry,
and I'll purchase a stock." He went to Legg and Loosefit and did
purchase a stock, absolutely laying out a hundred pounds of ready
money for hosiery, and getting as much more on credit. Stockings is
an article on which considerable genius might be displayed by any
house intending to do stockings, and nothing else; but taken up in
this small way by such a firm as that of 81, Bishopsgate Street, it
was simply embarrassing. "Now you can say something true in your
advertisements," said Mr. Brown, with an air of triumph, when the
invoice of the goods arrived.
"True!" said Robinson. He would not, however, sneer at his partner,
so he retreated to his own room, and went to work. "Stockings!" said
he to himself. "There is no room for ambition in it! But the word
'Hose' does not sound amiss." And then he prepared that small book,
with silk magenta covers and silvery leaves, which he called _The New
Miracle!_
The whole world wants stockings, [he began, not disdaining
to take his very words from Mr. Brown]--and Brown, Jones,
and Robinson are prepared to supply the whole world with
the stockings which they want. The following is a list of
some of the goods which are at present being removed from
the river to the premises at Magenta House, in Bishopsgate
Street. B., J., and R. affix the usual trade price of the
article, and the price at which they are able to offer them
to the public.
One hundred and twenty baskets of ladies' Spanish
hose,--usual price, 1_s._ 3_d._; sold by B., J., and R. at
9¾_d._
"Baskets!" said Mr. Brown, when he read the little book.
"It's all right," said Robinson. "I have been at the trouble to learn
the trade language."
Four hundred dozen white cotton hose,--usual price, 1_s._
0½_d._; sold by B., J., and R. at 7¼_d._
Eight stack of China and pearl silk hose,--usual price,
3_s._; sold by B., J., and R. for 1_s._ 9¾_d._
Fifteen hundred dozen of Balbriggan,--usual price, 1_s._
6_d._; sold by B., J., and R. for 10½_d._
It may not, perhaps, be necessary to continue the whole list
here; but as it was read aloud to Mr. Brown, he sat aghast with
astonishment. "George!" said he, at last, "I don't like it. It makes
me quite afeard. It does indeed."
"And why do you not like it?" said Robinson, quietly laying down the
manuscript, and putting his hand upon it. "Does it want vigour?"
"No; it does not want vigour."
"Does it fail to be attractive? Is it commonplace?"
"It is not that I mean," said Mr. Brown. "But--"
"Is it not simple? The articles are merely named, with their prices."
"But, George, we haven't got 'em. We couldn't hold such a quantity.
And if we had them, we should be ruined to sell them at such prices
as that. I did want to do a genuine trade in stockings."
"And so you shall, sir. But how will you begin unless you attract
your customers?"
"You have put your prices altogether too low," said Jones. "It stands
to reason you can't sell them for the money. You shouldn't have put
the prices at all;--it hampers one dreadful. You don't know what it
is to stand down there among 'em all, and tell 'em that the cheap
things haven't come."
"Say that they've all been sold," said Robinson.
"It's just the same," argued Jones. "I declare last Saturday night I
didn't think my life was safe in the crowd."
"And who brought that crowd to the house?" demanded Robinson. "Who
has filled the shop below with such a throng of anxious purchasers?"
"But, George," said Mr. Brown, "I should like to have one of these
bills true, if only that one might show it as a sample when the
people talk to one."
"True!" said Robinson, again. "You wish that it should be true! In
the first place, did you ever see an advertisement that contained the
truth? If it were as true as heaven, would any one believe it? Was it
ever supposed that any man believed an advertisement? Sit down and
write the truth, and see what it will be! The statement will show
itself of such a nature that you will not dare to publish it. There
is the paper, and there the pen. Take them, and see what you can make
of it."
"I do think that somebody should be made to believe it," said Jones.
"You do!" and Robinson, as he spoke, turned angrily at the other.
"Did you ever believe an advertisement?" Jones, in self-defence,
protested that he never had. "And why should others be more simple
than you? No man,--no woman believes them. They are not lies; for it
is not intended that they should obtain credit. I should despise the
man who attempted to base his advertisements on a system of facts,
as I would the builder who lays his foundation upon the sand. The
groundwork of advertising is romance. It is poetry in its very
essence. Is Hamlet true?"
"I really do not know," said Mr. Brown.
"There is no man, to my thinking, so false," continued Robinson, "as
he who in trade professes to be true. He deceives, or endeavours to
do so. I do not. No one will believe that we have fifteen hundred
dozen of Balbriggan."
"Nobody will," said Mr. Brown.
"But yet that statement will have its effect. It will produce custom,
and bring grist to our mill without any dishonesty on our part.
Advertisements are profitable, not because they are believed, but
because they are attractive. Once understand that, and you will cease
to ask for truth." Then he turned himself again to his work and
finished his task without further interruption.
"You shall sell your stockings, Mr. Brown," he said to the senior
member of the firm, about three days after that.
"Indeed, I hope so."
"Look here, sir!" and then he took Mr. Brown to the window. There
stood eight stalwart porters, divided into two parties of four each,
and on their shoulders they bore erect, supported on painted frames,
an enormous pair of gilded, embroidered, brocaded, begartered wooden
stockings. On the massive calves of these was set forth a statement
of the usual kind, declaring that "Brown, Jones, and Robinson, of 81,
Bishopsgate Street, had just received 40,000 pairs of best French
silk ladies' hose direct from Lyons."
"And now look at the men's legs," said Robinson. Mr. Brown did
look, and perceived that they were dressed in magenta-coloured
knee-breeches, with magenta-coloured stockings. They were gorgeous
in their attire, and at this moment they were starting from the door
in different directions. "Perhaps you will tell me that that is not
true?"
"I will say nothing about it for the future," said Mr. Brown.
"It is not true," continued Robinson; "but it is a work of fiction,
in which I take leave to think that elegance and originality are
combined."
"We ought to do something special in shirts," said Jones, a few days
after this. "We could get a few dozen from Hodges, in King Street,
and call them Eureka."
"Couldn't we have a shirt of our own?" said Mr. Robinson. "Couldn't
you invent a shirt, Mr. Jones?" Jones, as Robinson looked him full
in the face, ran his fingers through his scented hair, and said that
he would consult his wife. Before the day was over, however, the
following notice was already in type:--
MANKIND IN A STATE OF BLISS!
BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON have sincere pleasure in
presenting to the Fashionable World their new KATAKAIRION
SHIRT, in which they have thoroughly overcome the
difficulties, hitherto found to be insurmountable, of
adjusting the bodies of the Nobility and Gentry to
an article which shall be at the same time elegant,
comfortable, lasting, and cheap.
B., J., and R.'s KATAKAIRION SHIRT, and their Katakairion
Shirt alone, is acknowledged to unite these qualities.
Six Shirts for 39_s._ 9_d._
The Katakairion Shirt is specially recommended to Officers
going to India and elsewhere, while it is at the same time
eminently adapted for the Home Consumption.
"I think I would have considered it a little more, before I committed
myself," said Jones.
"Ah, yes; you would have consulted your wife; as I have not got one,
I must depend on my own wits."
"And are not likely to have one either," said Jones.
"Young men, young men," said Mr. Brown, raising his hands
impressively, "if as Christians you cannot agree, at any rate you are
bound to do so as partners. What is it that the Psalmist says, 'Let
dogs delight, to bark and bite--.'"
The notice as to the Katakairion shirt was printed on that day, as
originally drawn out by Robinson, and very widely circulated on the
two or three following mornings. A brisk demand ensued, and it was
found that Hodges, the wholesale manufacturer, of King Street, was
able to supply the firm with an article which, when sold at 39_s._
6_d._, left a comfortable profit.
"I told you that we ought to do something special in shirts," said
Jones, as though the whole merit of the transaction were his own.
Gloves was another article to which considerable attention was
given;--
BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON have made special arrangements
with the glove manufacturers of Worcestershire, and are
now enabled to offer to the public English-sewn Worcester
gloves, made of French kid, at a price altogether out of
the reach of any other house in the trade.
B., J., and R. boldly defy competition.
When that notice was put up in front of the house, none of the firm
expected that any one would believe in their arrangement with the
Worcestershire glove-makers. They had no such hope, and no such wish.
What gloves they sold, they got from the wholesale houses in St.
Paul's Churchyard, quite indifferent as to the county in which they
were sewn, or the kingdom from which they came. Nevertheless, the
plan answered, and a trade in gloves was created.
But perhaps the pretty little dialogues which were circulated about
the town, did more than anything else to make the house generally
known to mothers and their families.
"Mamma, mamma, I have seen such a beautiful sight!"
one of them began.
"My dearest daughter, what was it?"
"I was walking home through the City, with my kind cousin
Augustus, and he took me to that wonderfully handsome and
extraordinarily large new shop, just opened by those
enterprising men, Brown, Jones, and Robinson, at No. 81,
Bishopsgate Street. They call it 'Nine Times Nine, or
Magenta House.'"
"My dearest daughter, you may well call it wonderful. It
is the wonder of the age. Brown, Jones, and Robinson sell
everything; but not only that,--they sell everything good;
and not only that--they sell everything cheap. Whenever
your wants induce you to make purchases, you may always be
sure of receiving full value for your money at the house of
Brown, Jones, and Robinson."
In this way, by efforts such as these, which were never allowed
to flag for a single hour,--by a continued series of original
composition which, as regards variety and striking incidents, was,
perhaps, never surpassed,--a great and stirring trade was established
within six months of the opening day. By this time Mr. Brown had
learned to be silent on the subject of advertising, and had been
brought to confess, more than once, that the subject was beyond his
comprehension.
"I am an old man, George," he said once, "and all this seems to be
new."
"If it be not new, it is nothing," answered Robinson.
"I don't understand it," continued the old man; "I don't pretend to
understand it; I only hope that it's right."
The conduct which Jones was disposed to pursue gave much more
trouble. He was willing enough to allow Robinson to have his own
way, and to advertise in any shape or manner, but he was desirous of
himself doing the same thing. It need hardly be pointed out here that
this was a branch of trade for which he was peculiarly unsuited, and
that his productions would be stale, inadequate, and unattractive.
Nevertheless, he persevered, and it was only by direct interference
at the printer's, that the publication of documents was prevented
which would have been fatal to the interests of the firm.
"Do I meddle with you in the shop?" Robinson would say to him.
"You haven't the personal advantages which are required for meeting
the public," Jones would answer.
"Nor have you the mental advantages without which original
composition is impossible."
In spite of all these difficulties a considerable trade was
established within six months, and the shop was usually crowded. As a
drawback to this, the bills at the printer's and at the stationer's
had become very heavy, and Robinson was afraid to disclose their
amount to his senior partner. But nevertheless he persevered. "Faint
heart never won fair lady," he repeated to himself, over and over
again,--the fair lady for whom his heart sighed being at this time
Commercial Success.
_Vestigia Nulla Retrorsum._ That should be the motto of the house. He
failed, however, altogether in making it intelligible to Mr. Brown.