NINE TIMES NINE IS EIGHTY-ONE. SHOWING HOW BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON
SELECTED THEIR HOUSE OF BUSINESS.
And haberdashery it was. But there was much yet to be done before any
terms for a partnership could be settled. Mr. Jones at first insisted
that he and his father-in-law should begin business on equal terms.
He considered that any questions as to the actual right in the
property would be mean after their mutual agreement to start in the
world as friends. But to this Mr. Brown, not unnaturally, objected.
"Then I shall go back to my lawyer," said Jones. Whereupon he did
leave the room, taking his hat with him; but he remained below in the
old shop.
"If I am to go into partnership with that man alone," said Mr. Brown,
turning to his young friend almost in despair, "I may prepare for the
Gazette at once.--And for my grave!" he added, solemnly.
"I'll join you," said Robinson. "I haven't got any money. You know
that. But then neither has he."
"I wish you had a little," said Mr. Brown. "Capital is capital, you
know."
"But I've got that which is better than capital," said Robinson,
touching his forehead with his forefinger. "And if you'll trust me,
Mr. Brown, I won't see you put upon." The promise which Mr. Robinson
then gave he kept ever afterwards with a marked fidelity.
"I will trust you," said Mr. Brown. "It shall be Brown, Jones, and
Robinson."
"And Brown, Jones, and Robinson shall carry their heads high among
the greatest commercial firms of this wealthy metropolis," said
Robinson, with an enthusiasm which was surely pardonable at such a
moment.
Mr. Jones soon returned with another compromise; but it was of a low,
peddling nature. It had reference to sevenths and eighths, and went
into the payments of the household bills. "I, as one of the partners,
must object to any such arrangements," said Robinson.
"You!--you one of the partners!" said Jones.
"If you have no objection--certainly!" said Robinson. "And if you
should have any objection,--equally so."
"You!--a bill-sticker!" said Jones.
In the presence of William Brisket, George Robinson had been forced
to acknowledge that matter must still occasionally prevail over mind;
but he felt no such necessity in the presence of Jones. "I'll tell
you what it is," said Robinson; "I've never denied my former calling.
Among friends I often talk about it. But mind you, Mr. Jones, I won't
bear it from you! I'm not very big myself, but I think I could stand
up before you!"
But in this quarrel they were stopped by Mr. Brown. "Let dogs
delight," he said or sung, "to bark and bite;--" and then he raised
his two fat hands feebly, as though deprecating any further wrath.
As usual on such occasions Mr. Robinson yielded, and then explained
in very concise language the terms on which it was proposed that the
partnership should be opened. Mr. Brown should put his "capital" into
the business, and be entitled to half the profits. Mr. Jones and Mr.
Robinson should give the firm the advantage of their youth, energies,
and genius, and should each be held as the possessor of a quarter.
That Mr. Jones made long and fierce objections to this, need hardly
be stated. It is believed that he did, more than once, go back to his
lawyer. But Mr. Brown, who, for the time, put himself into the hands
of his youngest partner, remained firm, and at last the preliminaries
were settled.
The name of the house, the nature of the business, and the shares of
the partners were now settled, and the site of the future labours of
the firm became the next question. Mr. Brown was in favour of a small
tenement in Little Britain, near to the entrance into Smithfield.
"There would not be scope there," said Robinson.
"And no fashion," said Jones.
"It's safe and respectable," pleaded Mr. Brown. "There have been
shops in Little Britain these sixty years in the same families."
But Robinson was of opinion that the fortunes of the firm might
not improbably be made in six, if only they would commence with
sufficient distinction. He had ascertained that large and commanding
premises might be had in St. Paul's Churchyard, in the frontage
of which the square feet of plate glass could be counted by the
hundred. It was true that the shop was nearly all window; but then,
as Mr. Robinson said, an extended front of glass was the one thing
necessary. And it was true also that the future tenants must pay down
a thousand pounds before they entered;--but then, as he explained,
how could they better expend the trifle of money which they
possessed?
"Trifle of money!" said Mr. Brown, thinking of the mountains of
butter and years of economy which had been required to put together
those four thousand pounds;--thinking also, perhaps, of the absolute
impecuniosity of his young partner who thus spoke.
Jones was for the West End and Regent Street. There was a shop only
two doors off Regent Street, which could be made to look as if it
was almost in Regent Street. The extension of a side piece of plate
glass would show quite into Regent Street. He even prepared a card,
describing the house as "2 doors from Regent Street," printing the
figure and the words "Regent Street" very large, and the intermediate
description very small. It was ever by such stale, inefficient
artifices as these that he sought success.
"Who'll care for your card?" said Robinson. "When a man's card comes
to be of use to him, the thing's done. He's living in his villa by
that time, and has his five thousand a-year out of the profits."
"I hope you'll both have your willas before long," said Brown, trying
to keep his partners in good humour. "But a cottage _horney_ will be
enough for me. I'd like to be able to give my children their bit of
dinner on Sunday hot and comfortable. I want no more than that."
That was a hard battle, and it resulted in no victory. The dingy shop
in Little Britain was, of course, out of the question; and Mr. Brown
assisted Robinson in preventing that insane attempt at aping the
unprofitable glories of Regent Street. The matter ended in another
compromise, and a house was taken in Bishopsgate Street, of which
the frontage was extensive and commanding, but as to which it must
certainly be confessed that the back part of the premises was
inconveniently confined.
"It isn't exactly all I could wish," said Robinson, standing on
the pavement as he surveyed it. "But it will do. With a little
originality and some dash, we'll make it do. We must give it a name."
"A name?" said Mr. Brown; "it's 81, Bishopsgate Street; ain't it?
They don't call houses names in London."
"That's just why we'll have a name for ours, Mr. Brown."
"The 'Albert Emporium,'" suggested Jones; "or 'Victoria Mart.'"
Mr. Jones, as will be seen, was given to tuft-hunting to the
backbone. His great ambition was to have a lion and unicorn, and to
call himself haberdasher to a royal prince. He had never realized the
fact that profit, like power, comes from the people, and not from
the court. "I wouldn't put up the Queen's arms if the Queen came and
asked me," Robinson once said in answer to him. "That game has been
played out, and it isn't worth the cost of the two wooden figures."
"'The Temple of Fashion' would do very well," said Jones.
"The Temple of Fiddlestick!" said Robinson.
"Of course you say so," said Jones.
"Let dogs delight--" began Mr. Brown, standing as we were in the
middle of the street.
"I'll tell you what," said Robinson; "there's nothing like colour.
We'll call it Magenta House, and we'll paint it magenta from the roof
to the window tops."
This beautiful tint had only then been invented, and it was necessary
to explain the word to Mr. Brown. He merely remarked that the oil and
paint would come to a deal of money, and then gave way. Jones was
struck dumb by the brilliancy of the idea, and for once forgot to
object.
"And, I'll tell you what," said Robinson--"nine times nine is
eighty-one."
"Certainly, certainly," said Mr. Brown, who delighted to agree
with his younger partner when circumstances admitted it. "You are
right there, certainly." Jones was observed to go through the
multiplication table mentally, but he could detect no error.
"Nine times nine is eighty-one," repeated Robinson with confidence,
"and we'll put that fact up over the first-floor windows."
And so they did. The house was painted magenta colour from top to
bottom. And on the front in very large figures and letters, was
stated the undoubted fact that nine times nine is 81. "If they
will only call us 'The nine times nine,' the thing is done," said
Robinson. Nevertheless, the house was christened Magenta House. "And
now about glass," said Robinson, when the three had retired to the
little back room within.
Mr. Robinson, however, admitted afterwards that he was wrong about
the colour and the number. Such methods of obtaining attention
were, he said, too easy of imitation, and devoid of any inherent
attraction of their own. People would not care for nine times nine in
Bishopsgate Street, if there were nine times nines in other streets
as well. "No," said he; "I was but beginning, and made errors as
beginners do. Outside there should be glass, gas, gold, and glare.
Inside there should be the same, with plenty of brass, and if
possible a little wit. If those won't do it, nothing will." All
the same the magenta colour and the nine times nine did have their
effect. "Nine times nine is eighty-one," was printed on the top of
all the flying advertisements issued by the firm, and the printing
was all done in magenta.
Mr. Brown groaned sorely over the expenditure that was necessary in
preparation of the premises. His wish was that this should be paid
for in ready money; and indeed it was necessary that this should
be done to a certain extent. But the great object should have been
to retain every available shilling for advertisements. In the way
of absolute capital,--money to be paid for stock,--4,000_l._ was
nothing. But 4,000_l._ scattered broadcast through the metropolis on
walls, omnibuses, railway stations, little books, pavement chalkings,
illuminated notices, porters' backs, gilded cars, and men in armour,
would have driven nine times nine into the memory of half the
inhabitants of London. The men in armour were tried. Four suits were
obtained in Poland Street, and four strong men were hired who rode
about town all day on four brewers' horses. They carried poles with
large banners, and on the banners were inscribed the words which
formed the shibboleth of the firm;--
_MAGENTA HOUSE_,
9 TIMES 9 IS 81,
BISHOPSGATE STREET.
And four times a day these four men in armour met each other in front
of the windows of the house, and stood there on horseback for fifteen
minutes, with their backs to the curbstone. The forage, however, of
the horses became so terribly large an item of expenditure that Mr.
Brown's heart failed him. His heart failed him, and he himself went
off late one evening to the livery stable-keeper who supplied the
horses, and in Mr. Robinson's absence, the armour was sent back to
Poland Street.
"We should have had the police down upon us, George," said Mr. Brown,
deprecating the anger of his younger partner.
"And what better advertisement could you have wished?" said Robinson.
"It would have been in all the papers, and have cost nothing."
"But you don't know, George, what them beastesses was eating! It
was frightful to hear of! Four-and-twenty pounds of corn a day
each of 'em, because the armour was so uncommon heavy." The men in
armour were then given up, but they certainly were beginning to
be effective. At 6 P.M., when the men were there, it had become
impossible to pass the shop without going into the middle of the
street, and on one or two occasions the policemen had spoken to
Mr. Brown. Then there was a slight accident with a child, and the
newspapers had interfered.
But we are anticipating the story, for the men in armour did not
begin their operations till the shop had been opened.
"And now about glass," said Robinson, as soon as the three partners
had retired from the outside flags into the interior of the house.
"It must be plate, of course," said Jones. Plate! He might as well
have said when wanting a house, that it must have walls.
"I rather think so," said Robinson; "and a good deal of it."
"I don't mind a good-sized common window," said Brown.
"A deal better have them uncommon," said Robinson, interrupting him.
"And remember, sir, there's nothing like glass in these days. It has
superseded leather altogether in that respect."
"Leather!" said Mr. Brown, who was hardly quick enough for his junior
partner.
"Of all our materials now in general use," said Robinson, "glass
is the most brilliant, and yet the cheapest; the most graceful and
yet the strongest. Though transparent it is impervious to wet. The
eye travels through it, but not the hailstorm. To the power of
gas it affords no obstacle, but is as efficient a barrier against
the casualties of the street as an iron shutter. To that which is
ordinary it lends a grace; and to that which is graceful it gives a
double lustre. Like a good advertisement, it multiplies your stock
tenfold, and like a good servant, it is always eloquent in praise of
its owner. I look upon plate glass, sir, as the most glorious product
of the age; and I regard the tradesman who can surround himself with
the greatest quantity of it, as the most in advance of the tradesmen
of his day. Oh, sir, whatever we do, let us have glass."
"It's beautiful to hear him talk," said Mr. Brown; "but it's the bill
I'm a thinking of."
"If you will only go enough ahead, Mr. Brown, you'll find that nobody
will trouble you with such bills."
"But they must be paid some day, George."
"Of course they must; but it will never do to think of that now.
In twelve months or so, when we have set the house well going, the
payment of such bills as that will be a mere nothing,--a thing that
will be passed as an item not worth notice. Faint heart never won
fair lady, you know, Mr. Brown." And then a cloud came across George
Robinson's brow as he thought of the words he had spoken; for his
heart had once been faint, and his fair lady was by no means won.
"That's quite true," said Jones; "it never does. Ha! ha! ha!"
Then the cloud went away from George Robinson's brow, and a stern
frown of settled resolution took its place. At that moment he made up
his mind, that when he might again meet that giant butcher he would
forget the difference in their size, and accost him as though they
two were equal. What though some fell blow, levelled as at an ox,
should lay him low for ever. Better that, than endure from day to day
the unanswered taunts of such a one as Jones!
Mr. Brown, though he was not quick-witted, was not deficient when the
feelings of man and man were concerned. He understood it all, and
taking advantage of a moment when Jones had stepped up the shop, he
pressed Robinson's hand and said,--"You shall have her, George. If
a father's word is worth anything, you shall have her." But in this
case,--as in so many others,--a father's word was not worth anything.
"But to business!" said Robinson, shaking off from him all thoughts
of love.
After that Mr. Brown had not the heart to oppose him respecting the
glass, and in that matter he had everything nearly his own way. The
premises stood advantageously at the comer of a little alley, so that
the window was made to jut out sideways in that direction, and a
full foot and a half was gained. On the other side the house did not
stand flush with its neighbour,--as is not unfrequently the case in
Bishopsgate Street,--and here also a few inches were made available.
The next neighbour, a quiet old man who sold sticks, threatened a
lawsuit; but that, had it been instituted, would have got into the
newspapers and been an advertisement. There was considerable trouble
about the entrance. A wide, commanding centre doorway was essential;
but this, if made in the desirable proportions, would have terribly
crippled the side windows. To obviate this difficulty, the exterior
space allotted for the entrance between the frontage of the two
windows was broad and noble, but the glass splayed inwards towards
the shop, so that the absolute door was decidedly narrow.
"When we come to have a crowd, they won't get in and out," said
Jones.
"If we could only crush a few to death in the doorway our fortune
would be made," said Robinson.
"God forbid!" said Mr. Brown; "God forbid! Let us have no bloodshed,
whatever we do."
In about a month the house was completed, and much to the regret of
both the junior partners, a considerable sum of ready money was paid
to the tradesmen who performed the work. Mr. Jones was of opinion
that by sufficient cunning such payments might be altogether evaded.
No such thought rested for a moment in the bosom of Mr. Robinson. All
tradesmen should be paid, and paid well. But the great firm of Brown,
Jones, and Robinson would be much less likely to scrutinize the price
at which plate glass was charged to them per square foot, when they
were taking their hundreds a day over the counter, than they would be
now when every shilling was of importance to them.
"For their own sake you shouldn't do it," said he to Mr. Brown. "You
may be quite sure they don't like it."
"I always liked it myself," said Mr. Brown. And thus he would make
little dribbling payments, by which an unfortunate idea was generated
in the neighbourhood that money was not plentiful with the firm.