In the new Folies Bergere show, Paris, the girlies are clad entirely in
paint, news dispatches state.
* * * * *
“Are your feet insured?” I asked
A dancing girl from France.
No answer. Then she said at last:
“It’s not that kind of dance.”
* * * * *
In any newspaper you can find pictures of charming women underneath which
it reads: “Miss So-and-So, 20 years of age.” (Why do those printers
always leave out that word “was”?)
* * * * *
As I was toying with the N. Y. Coffee Cake in the Times Square Automat
the other day, I sighted an old friend I hadn’t seen for several years.
I went up to him and said: “Why, Billy, where have you been keeping
yourself all these years?” He said: “Well, early in 1914 I went to Paris
to study art.” “Is that so?” I said; “and did you get far with your
studies?” “Well,” he said, “it was like this. When I arrived there in
June, 1914, we began by taking studies from the head. In July it was head
and shoulders; and in August, in August that darned war started. Bad luck
to the Germans!”
* * * * *
_To make their dresses nowadays,_
_Girls use a lot of cloth._
_But looks as if in future days,_
_It’s hardship for the moth._
* * * * *
HE: “I’d be tickled to death to teach you to swim.”
SHE: “I’d be tickled to death if you did.”
* * * * *
_I saw a statue yesterday,_
_And on the quiet between us,_
_I think it’s quite correct to say_
_The lady’s name was Venus._
_Unveiled in such and such a year_
_Was written at the base._
_But those who took the veil, ’twas clear,_
_Did not again replace._
* * * * *
_If she has a past, she needn’t tell—_
_The girl in a musical show._
_But if she possesses a birth-mark as well,_
_It’s something the whole world will know._
* * * * *
They say that for a smart, wise lot of lads the New York hotel clerks are
hard to beat. But not always. The other day I happened to be in the Astor
lobby when a pair of young newlyweds came in from the street. The rice
and confetti was still over them for all to see. The happy groom went up
to the desk to register. In the course of the conversation I overheard
this from the clerk: “Yes, sir; and do you want a room with twin beds?”
Can you beat it!
* * * * *
_“To follow horses isn’t right,”_
_My father always said._
_So what I follow every night_
_Is chickens round instead._
* * * * *