Engagements at and about home, 1813 and 1814.
First day, the 28th of 11th month, 1813. Feeling my mind drawn last
evening and this morning to attend Friends’ meeting at Martinicock, I
submitted thereto and went alone. In the forepart of the meeting, I
had to combat a spirit of ease and stupefaction, which is generally
prevalent among the worldly-minded, although they may be pretty
steady in attending meetings; yet it is to be feared with little or
no profit, if it be true what the beloved apostle has affirmed, that:
“If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”
In the latter part of the meeting I was led to view the excellency
of the pacific principles of the gospel, as promulgated by Jesus
Christ and his apostles; and to show to the people, the very great and
essential benefit and blessing which would result to the professors
of Christianity by a strict adherence and submission thereunto; as
they stand in direct opposition to the spirit of violence and war,
and breathe forth nothing but peace on earth and good will to men. It
proved through mercy a season of favour; many hearts were contrited,
and the faithful and poor in spirit comforted and strengthened; and my
own mind inspired with gratitude and thankfulness for such unmerited
mercy.
First day, the 5th of 12th month. The six working days of last week
were principally spent in my worldly concerns, except attending our
fifth day meeting, and the Charity Society meeting yesterday; an
institution of Friends for educating the children of poor black people.
Our funds, agreeably to the last report of a settlement with the
Treasurer, amount to upwards of thirteen hundred dollars; the interest
of which is yearly expended for the above purpose, by a committee
of the Society, who superintend the educating of said children. The
directors of the Society are limited to thirty members, who meet
quarterly for the promotion and oversight of the institution. I
attended our fifth day meeting in silence, and sat our meeting in like
manner to-day, in poverty of spirit, which terminated in a peaceful
close.
First day, the 12th of 12th month. At our meeting to-day, my mind was
largely opened to set forth before the people the difference between
the law state and that of the gospel. It was, I trust, an instructive
edifying season, worthy of grateful remembrance.
Second day afternoon I rode to New-York, in order to attend the meeting
for sufferings to be held there the next day. It opened at the ninth
hour. We got through the business at two sittings, and closed in the
evening. Fourth day afternoon I rode home. Fifth day was our monthly
meeting. The meeting for worship was, I think, a favoured comfortable
season; and the testimonies communicated instructive and edifying: such
repeated favoured seasons make it evident beyond controversy, that we
are still a highly favoured people, and shall be accountable according
to the manifold mercies and blessings bestowed upon us: and we have
great cause often to query, like the psalmist formerly, “What shall I
render unto the Lord for all his benefits towards me;” for his mercies
are new every morning; great is his faithfulness.
Sixth and seventh days. Spent in my ordinary concerns; yet, I trust, my
mind was preserved in a state of watchfulness and care, that what I do,
even in my temporal business, may all be done to the glory of God, and
be useful to myself and to my fellow creatures.
First day, the 19th of 12th month. While silently musing in our meeting
towards the latter part, a subject opened which led to the necessity
of communication, wherein that petition in the prayer our Lord taught
his disciples, viz: “Thy kingdom come; thy will be done in earth as it
is in heaven;” was opened to the audience; and the necessity of our
individually witnessing it fulfilled in us, as the only medium through
which we can obtain salvation, and a preparation for the kingdom of
heaven. This was pressed upon the people, showing from the analogy of
things, that as there is nothing but the Lord’s will done in heaven, a
soul that is not reconciled thereto, cannot enter therein, nor partake
of its celestial enjoyment.
The rest of the week was carefully employed in my household concerns,
with the attendance of our fifth day meeting, agreeably to my
invariable practice when at home, if not prevented by indisposition. It
was a quiet comfortable meeting.
Sixth day. Attended the funeral of our honest friend Richard Townsend.
There was a large collection of Friends and neighbours, he being
generally esteemed. A meeting was held on the occasion, which proved a
very solemn season. The people’s attention was called to the necessity
of a timely preparation for death, in a large arousing testimony;
setting forth the great and singular advantages which would redound to
the children of men, by their obtaining right ideas and apprehensions
of God. The want of these left them to be led away into a belief of
many strange and ideal notions concerning him, particularly that of
foreordination; the inconsistency of which, my mind was led to unfold
to the auditory, by this and other undeniable arguments;--that, as
God’s ordination, and God’s creation, and God’s will, are always in
perfect unison, and cannot be diverse one from the other; and as all
that he wills and creates is immutably good, agreeably to his own
declaration in the work of creation; hence, whatever he ordains must
likewise be immutably good: therefore, if there is any such thing as
sin and iniquity in the world, then God has neither willed it, nor
ordained it; as it is impossible for him to will contradictions. And
secondly, if he has, previous to man’s creation, willed and determined
all his actions, then certainly every man stands in the same state of
acceptance with him, and a universal salvation must certainly take
place; which I conceive the favourers of foreordination would be as
unwilling as myself to believe. And moreover, if man was not vested
with the power of free agency, and a liberty of determining his own
will, in relation to a choice of good or evil, he could not be an
accountable creature; neither would it be in his power to commit sin.
It was a time of favour, and the Lord’s blessing on the labours of the
day was reverently supplicated. O, saith my soul, may they have the
desired effect.
First day, the 26th of 12th month. Sat the greater part of our meeting
in much weakness and poverty of spirit, to which I felt perfectly
resigned, believing it to be agreeable to the Lord’s will. But towards
the close an honest elderly Friend, though young and small in such
service, expressed a sentence or two accompanied with a degree of
life, which seemed to give spring to a concern on my mind, which led
to communication. The subject which opened was to show, that plainness
and simplicity were the true marks and badges of the Lord’s people and
children in every age of the world, witnessed to by the true nature and
analogy of all things in the universe; and confirmed by the testimony
of the grace and good spirit of God through his servants in all the
generations of mankind. The youth were exhorted and tenderly invited
to submit to the _cross of Christ_, with the assurance assented to by
the experience of all the faithful; that if they bowed willingly to
his yoke, it would become not only easy but delightful. But alas! how
true is that declaration of the prophet: “who hath believed our report,
and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?” Certainly to none but
the obedient, which number, if we are to judge by their fruits, is
doubtless very small.
Second, third, and fourth days. Spent mostly in my temporal business,
but not without a watchful care lest it should engage too much of my
attention. The evenings were partly spent in reading the scriptures,
in which I greatly delight. How excellent are those records! although
old, yet they seem ever new. The prophecy of Micah was a part of my
present reading; what a dignified sense and clear view he had of the
gospel state and worship; and how exceedingly it lessened the service
and worship of the law in his view, in the clear sense given him of
its full and complete abolishment, with all its shadowy rituals; when
he was led to set forth its insufficiency, in this exalted language:
“Wherewith shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the
high God? Shall I come before him with burnt-offerings, with calves
of a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or
with ten thousands of rivers of oil? Shall I give my first-born for
my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?” No,
none, nor all of these were sufficient to give access to the divine
presence, or to the divine law under the gospel; they being only
shadows, and therefore could only give access to the outward law and
outward lawgiver Moses, and the law and ordinances given by him; which
were also shadows of the true substance. For Moses, and his outward law
and ordinances, stood in the same relation to outward Israel, under the
shadowy dispensation, as Christ the spiritual Moses, with his spiritual
law written in the heart, does to his spiritual Israel under the
gospel; “which is a dispensation not” of shadow, but of substance; as
is clearly shown by the sequel of the testimony of Micah above alluded
to, where he goes on as follows: “He hath showed thee, O man, what is
good;” then certainly not shadow nor sign, but real substance, “and
what doth the Lord require of thee,” not only by an outward, but by
his inward, divine law, “but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to
walk humbly with thy God.” This is the sum and substance of all true
religion and worship, and needs not the continuance of any outward
elementary washings or eatings or drinkings; but opens to the necessity
of our drinking at that spiritual river, the streams whereof make glad
the whole heritage of God. For those that drink thereof will never
thirst again, at least for the water of any other stream.
Fifth day. Sat our meeting to-day in silence. It is not unpleasant to
feel ourselves sometimes circumstanced as Mordecai formerly, sitting at
the king’s gate, and, in its season, is as grateful to the truly humble
and submissive mind, as riding on the king’s horse, and all bowing
before us.
First day, the 2d of 1st month, 1814. Another year is ended. Oh my
soul, how hast thou improved it, and what progress hast thou made in
thy heavenly journey? As I sat in our meeting to-day, my mind was
led to contrast the law and gospel, or shadow and substance. “While
I was musing the fire burned,” and my heart became warmed within me;
“then spake I with my tongue,” and endeavoured in a zeal for the
Lord’s cause, to open to the people, the superiour excellency of the
gospel, above and beyond that of the law, as set forth by the precepts,
doctrines, example and commands of our great and gracious lawgiver
Jesus Christ. The life rose towards the close of the meeting into
a good degree of dominion, through hard labour and toil. For many
professors lie so securely in their graves, that nothing short of the
powerful voice that raised Lazarus formerly, is sufficient to quicken
and raise them therefrom.
Second day. This day principally spent in making provision more
favourably to meet the inclemency of the ensuing winter.
Third day. Spent as yesterday. In the evening read Thomas Ellwood’s
relation of his sufferings and cruel usage from his father, because,
for conscience’ sake, he could not pull off his hat and stand bare
before him; and for using the plain language of thou and thee, instead
of the plural you. Alas! what a spirit of pride, arrogance and cruelty
governs the children of men, while living in the lusts of their
fallen nature, estranged from God and from his true nature and image.
And it is to be feared that many in this day, who profess to be the
successors of those primitive sufferers, our worthy predecessors, who
stood faithful, and patiently bore the burden and heat of the day,
through many years of cruel persecution, are now turning back like a
broken bow; and through the fear or favour of men, are disregarding
the testimonies which their forefathers in the truth purchased at so
dear a rate; and are ready to account many of them but small, or as
indifferent things, which may, or may not, be attended to at their own
pleasure. But alas for these, it is to be feared they will never have a
view, much less be permitted to enter the promised land, the heavenly
Canaan: but will fall in the wilderness as did the unbelieving and
rebellious in former ages. I often mourn and take up a lamentation,
when I behold the children of believing parents, turning aside,
disobedient to their parents, and disregarding the travail and exercise
of their concerned Friends, who are labouring for their return: but
those who are faithful to give the watchword in season, will be clear
of their blood, and the Lord will be clear. For he will have a people,
and, as formerly, will send his servants into the highways and hedges,
and gather from thence, that his house may be filled: but those
children of the kingdom, who are making excuses, and will not come when
they are bidden, will be cast out into outer darkness, where will be
weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Fourth day. I was occupied as a carpenter, in making some conveniences
for my stock. I felt wearied at evening with the labour of the day, but
was comforted with a peaceful mind, feeling myself at peace with all
men. A blessed privilege; it is the Lord’s doing, and marvellous in
mine eyes.
Seventh day. Attended the funeral of an ancient Friend. A meeting was
held on the occasion, wherein I was exercised in a large arousing
testimony suited to the occasion. May it be to the honest inquirers, as
a nail fastened in a sure place; and to those who yet remain unwilling
to surrender, as bread cast upon the waters, found after many days.
First day, the 9th of 1st month. At our meeting to-day I was led
to reflect on my frequent appearances in the ministry at home, and
ready to wonder why I was led so often to communicate to almost
the same assembly. But these meditations were soon superseded by a
renewed living concern, which opened again to communication, in a
deep searching testimony; wherein I was led to show the fallacy and
weakness of all man’s creaturely and carnal reasoning, that it was
all estranged from God, and stood in the ignorance and corruption of
his fallen nature; and that man never had, nor could have, consistent
with his nature as a dependent being, a right to assume a power to use
his reason at his own discretion and will; but only in submission and
subservience to the dictates of the light and spirit of his Creator,
as paramount both to his reason and animal senses. For his reason is
given him as an agent under his Creator, to govern and keep in due
order the animal senses; not according to his own discretion and will,
but agreeable to the manifestations of the divine spirit, or inward
law and will, of his heavenly Father. It was an humbling season, and
many hearts with mine own were bowed in reverence, under the sensible
impress of the divine power.
The rest of the week I passed in my usual engagements, and in visiting
some of my friends.
First day, the 16th of 1st month. Sat our meeting in silence to-day.
The three following days I spent in attending to my usual avocations,
and in visiting two of my sick neighbours. One of them was a young man,
who was convinced of the truth, as held by us, in his young years. He
spoke very sensibly of the work of truth on his mind in the early part
of his convincement, and of the awe that covered his spirit, through
the sensible impressions of the divine power; and recapitulated the
precious seasons he had witnessed in the fields, sitting on rocks,
and stumps of trees; and that he now felt his love to reach forth and
embrace the whole human family. He appeared to be in a sweet and quiet
frame of mind, though so weak, as not to be able to speak louder than a
whisper. What a precious thing it is when the youth submit willingly to
the visitations of divine love in their tender years; how amiable they
appear, and how peaceful their close; a pearl to be valued above all
temporal enjoyments.
Fifth day. This being the time of our monthly meeting, we had the
company of two Friends on a visit to us. One of them appeared largely
in the line of the ministry, but a fear attended my mind, lest he had
not sufficiently attended to that command, which forbids sowing our
ground with mingled seed; or suffering a garment of linen and woollen
to come upon us: Oh how necessary it is for all those who apprehend
they are called to the work of the ministry, to know self fully
reduced; otherwise they may be in danger of endeavouring to cover the
harlot, with the Lord’s jewels; and with fair words, and fine speeches,
deceive the hearts of the simple.
Sixth day. Attended our preparative meeting of Ministers and Elders.
I had to drop a caution, founded on the failure of Moses and Aaron at
the rock; when instead of speaking to it, as commanded, Moses smote
it with his rod, with the addition of, “hear now, ye rebels; must we
fetch you water out of this rock?” This act, being the effect of mere
creaturely zeal and warmth of natural passions, lost them much; as it
prevented their entering into the promised land. Oh how needful it
is for those who are called to stand as a medium between God and the
people, to be deeply attentive to the word of command, and not add
thereto, nor diminish therefrom, under the penalty of his displeasure.
For if he spared not Moses who was only guilty of this one fault in his
administration, how much less can we expect that he will spare us, if
we should add to, or diminish from, the word of prophecy.
Seventh day. Assisted a sick neighbour to settle his outward business
by writing his will and seeing it executed. I then endeavoured to
stimulate his mind with a concern rightly to improve the few remaining
moments which might be permitted him on this side the grave; that so he
might be prepared to meet death with a peaceful and tranquil mind.
First day, the 23d of 1st month, 1814. Attended Westbury meeting, at
which there was a funeral of a deceased ancient woman Friend. It was
a large meeting. Many Friends and neighbours came from a distance to
attend the funeral. I had good service among them in the line of the
ministry, by way of caution, encouragement and reproof; and was led
to press upon the auditory the necessity of a submission of our wills
to the divine will, as the only medium through which we could become
qualified to answer the great end of our creation; which is to glorify
God and enjoy him.
Second day. Attended the funeral of a pious young Friend of our meeting
who departed this life by a consumption, after lingering a few months.
His corpse was carried into our meeting-house at Jericho. There was a
large meeting on the occasion, and through the prevalence of the divine
power that presided over the assembly, it proved a very solemn time.
Many hearts were broken and contrited by the force of the testimony,
which went forth powerfully clothed with the demonstration of the
spirit, and the Lord’s name was exalted over all.
Seventh day. This being the time of our quarterly meeting, I was
mostly employed through the week in attention thereto. It was, I
think, through the several sittings a solemn searching time. My mind
was closely engaged on several subjects appertaining to our Christian
testimonies; but more particularly that against war, which was now
in the land. Friends, with others, were called upon for supplies by
way of taxes to carry it on, which were levied various ways on the
inhabitants. I felt my mind deeply engaged to lay before Friends
the inconsistency of our actively complying with any such military
requisitions, believing that if we did, we should not only become
accessaries in the war, but should have to bear a part of the guilt of
shedding the blood of our fellow creatures. The Lord’s power was felt
to preside, and the testimonies borne on the occasion were evidently
clothed with divine authority, keeping down all opposition. The minds
of the faithful were inspired with humble gratitude and thanksgiving to
the Lord our gracious helper, under a renewed sense of his continued
mercy to us as a people; and to all the workmanship of his holy hand.
First day, the 30th of 1st month, 1814. As I was sitting in our meeting
my mind became exercised in contemplating the danger that some of my
fellow professors of the Christian name are exposed to, by placing
their dependence for justification and salvation on the _imputative
righteousness of Christ which he performed without them_, without
coming to know a complete remission of their sins, and living a life of
righteousness through faith in the operation of God, and a submission
to the work of _his spirit in their minds_; by which, according to
the apostle’s exhortation, they can only be enabled to work out their
own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God that worketh
in the willing and obedient soul, both to will and to do of his own
good pleasure; but this can only be witnessed by such as experience
their own wills to be mortified and slain by the power of the cross
inwardly revealed, whereby the true spiritual atonement is made. I was
largely opened to communicate on some of these subjects; and to show
to the people wherein the true harmony between the law dispensation,
and that of the gospel consisted. It was a season worthy of grateful
remembrance; the meeting closed with thanksgiving and prayer, under a
renewed sense of the continued mercy of our gracious God, who is over
all, blessed for ever.
Second day. Being unwell with a cold I kept house and read.
Third day. Having the evening before received an invitation to attend
the funeral of a deceased neighbour about four miles distant from my
dwelling, and understanding it was the desire of the deceased on her
death-bed that I would attend; I felt inclined to go, although still
unwell. I was glad I gave up thereto, as it proved, through heavenly
help, a solemn instructive season, wherein my heart and mouth were
opened to declare largely of the way of life and salvation to the
people in the clear demonstration of truth. The assembly in general
were bowed and humbled, and many hearts contrited; to the Lord alone be
the praise, for to him only it is due.
Fourth day. Still unwell: mostly kept house.
Fifth day. Ventured out to our meeting, but was considerably afflicted
with my cold and cough. The meeting was held in silence.
The two following days, and the forepart of the next week, I employed,
mostly, in preparing for the press a small treatise on slavery; and
on the use of the produce of the labour of slaves. I laid it before
our meeting for sufferings which met this week; and obtained their
concurrence for printing it. As I was in the city, I attended Friends’
meetings as they came in course on fourth and fifth days, and returned
home on sixth day. Nothing particular transpired on seventh day.
First day, the 13th of 2d month. Was largely opened in communication on
divers subjects in a very searching testimony, which brought a covering
of great solemnity over the meeting. The honest-hearted were comforted:
but it was a season of sharp reproof to the unfaithful and lukewarm.
Fifth day. Attended our monthly meeting, at which nothing opened worthy
of particular notice.
Seventh day. I attended the funeral of the wife of John Wine, a Friend
of Flushing. We had a very solemn meeting on the occasion, in which I
was exercised in a large affecting testimony, tendering and contriting
the hearts of the assembly in general. The truth was raised into
dominion, breaking down all before its influential searching power;
which was cause of deep gratitude and thanksgiving to the Lord our
gracious helper, for his unmerited mercy, still dispensed in his
longsuffering loving kindness to the children of men.
Feeling my mind inclined to sit with Friends here the next day, which
was first day, the people were notified thereof at the close of the
foregoing opportunity. It was a full meeting, in which truth favoured
and furnished with matter suited to the states of those present; which
made it an instructive edifying season. The canopy of love was felt to
spread sweetly and very comfortably over the assembly, and I parted
with them in the fresh feeling thereof; and with a peaceful mind, and a
thankful sense of the Lord’s mercy.
Nothing particular occurred in the course of the next week; but
the precious savour that was witnessed in the two forementioned
opportunities, remained as a canopy over my mind, and was cause of
humble gratitude and thankfulness to the blessed Author of all our rich
mercies and blessings.
First day, the 27th of 2d month. My mind, in our meeting to-day,
after a considerable time of humble quiet waiting, and seeking to be
gathered to Shiloh, was led in prospect to view the great and singular
advantages which would redound to the children of men by an early
acquaintance with the Lord; and by continually looking to him, and
relying on him, as the primary and only object of their faith and hope.
The prospect enlarged and opened to a communication, and the truth
was raised into a comfortable degree of dominion, and spread a solemn
covering over the assembly; and many hearts were contrited and made
glad from a feeling sense of the Lord’s mercy vouchsafed to us at this
season. O how good is the Lord, and how greatly to be praised, for his
mercy endureth for ever.
The rest of this week I was occupied in my temporal concerns. Sat our
fifth day meeting in silence, in which I had to maintain a steady
warfare against the intrusion of unprofitable thoughts. O how precious
it is to be favoured to gain a complete victory over these, and to have
the mind brought to witness a profound stillness, where nothing reigns
but Jesus, in his inward spiritual government.
First day, the 6th of 3d month. In our meeting to-day I had again to
bear testimony against the prevailing evils of the day; some of which
I had to expose, and to show how we must enter the church militant, if
ever we enter right, and become useful members thereof, and be truly
comforted and profited thereby. The communication was introduced by the
parable of the supper, which shows that those who have something of the
pleasures and treasures of this world to gratify and comfort themselves
with, will not come in, although invited: but those who are brought to
a full sense of their wretched and forlorn condition, without God and
without a Saviour, compared, in the parable, to those who are poor and
destitute of every comfort, and scattered in the highways and hedges,
will seek a place of refuge; and having tried every means they had in
their power, and every invention that man has sought out in the way of
salvation, and after all finding themselves still left in a state of
disappointment, are made willing to surrender all up, and sell all;
that so they may be enabled to purchase the field wherein the pearl of
great price lies. The word went forth with power, and struck home to
many minds, and a very solemn weight appeared to cover the assembly in
general.
Second, third, and fourth days. Spent in a quiet attention to my
temporal concerns with the attendant blessing of peace of mind; yet not
without some intervals of interruption from the loose and the vain,
with which this neighbourhood is too much disturbed. Alas, what has so
gained the ascendency in and over the mind of man, as to cause him to
delight and take pleasure in wickedness.
Fifth day. Was our preparative meeting, in which the overseers brought
forward information against one of our members, a young man, for
deviations from plainness, and being guilty of attending horse races,
and suffering his horse to run for a wager; all which manifest a very
thoughtless disposition, and much vanity of mind, very unworthy the
least member in our community. The meeting felt tenderly for him, as
he had not had a guarded education; he being left an orphan, when
small, by the death of his father. In considering his condition, I
was induced to enlist myself voluntarily in the meeting’s service,
to pay him a visit; and the meeting added another Friend to join me
therein. I was likewise engaged in the meeting for worship, to call
Friends’ attention to the necessity of greater purification both in
body, soul, and spirit; as the only medium through which we could gain
an inheritance in the kingdom of heaven. I showed by the analogy of
reason, that a purified soul could not be content to inhabit a polluted
body; and that if the inside was made clean, the outside would be clean
also; and that true and genuine Christianity will lead to cleanliness
in our persons, in our houses, and in all our concerns. All this will
proceed from real love and duty to our Creator, and not from any germ
of pride, or vainly to make a show, but from a real desire of effecting
holiness in the fear of the Lord.
First day, the 13th. A comfortable meeting to-day, mostly in silence,
but closed with solemn supplication, wherein I was led to set forth how
our gracious and beneficent Creator, although he sees all our wants,
and stands always disposed, before we ask him, to redress all our real
grievances, and dispense good to us whenever he finds us in a condition
fit to receive: yet as he is a God of justice and truth, he delights
to see his people and children grateful and humbly sensible of their
dependence on him for every blessing; therefore, he permits them, at
times, when he sees meet to influence their minds thereto, to approach
his sacred presence in humble and devout prayer, and which also affords
to those who are thus devoted, sweet and heavenly consolation and joy.
I passed this week mostly at home overseeing my temporal concerns.
Attended our monthly meeting on fifth day, at which we received
information, from the women’s meeting, of the departure of one of our
members, a young woman, who had gone out in her marriage with one not
a member, whom they concluded ought to be disowned; with which the
men’s meeting concurred. This is a weakness among our young members,
which is, in general, very pernicious in its consequences, and too
often happens through the neglect of care and right concern in parents
and guardians, who, for want of living near the truth, and under
right religious engagements themselves, are too often led away to seek
after riches for their children, and are more desirous that their
children should obtain companions who are wealthy and rich in this
world’s treasure, than such as are truly religious and virtuous. Thus
a foundation is often laid, by such indiscreet parents, for many very
unhappy connexions, by which the religious improvement and advancement
of their tender offspring is often entirely intercepted and prevented,
and their prospects of temporal comfort and joy rendered abortive; and
they have to drag out a miserable existence until death dissolves their
obligations.
First day, the 20th. As I sat in our meeting my mind was brought under
exercise in taking a view of the life of Solomon, that wise king of
Israel, as delineated by his own pen; and from which we learn the
insignificance of all consolation and joy which have their source in
temporal and mortal things, as they must and will end, in vanity and
vexation of spirit: and that to fear God and keep his commandments,
is not only the whole duty of man, but likewise the only blessed and
eternal source of all true joy and never ending felicity. The subject
spread on my mind and led to communication, in which I endeavoured, in
the ability afforded, by persuasive arguments, to engage the minds of
the auditory, both old and young, in the pursuit of that invaluable
treasure that waxeth not old, but endureth for ever, which will bring
true joy to the immortal soul and adds no sorrow.
Nothing particular occurred in the course of this week, except that a
care and fear attended my mind, lest the cares of this world and the
increase of temporal things might too much interrupt, and intrude,
upon my spiritual concerns; for riches are ever deceitful, and always
promise more than they have in their power to perform.
First day, the 27th. Feeling my mind inclined to sit with Friends at
Bethpage to-day, I yielded to the motion and attended their meeting;
and although I had not a great deal to communicate, yet what I had,
appeared to reach home to many minds, and rendered it a comfortable
meeting, not only to myself, but to the assembly in general. The
subject which opened for communication was the necessity and excellency
of integrity; and that although we might be so wise and knowing as to
comprehend all knowledge, yet if we were destitute of integrity and
sincerity of heart, we should but share the fate of fools at last, and
be not a whit better for all our wisdom and knowledge.
Second, third, and fourth days. Spent in close attention to my
temporal concerns, the care for which, and for their right ordering,
is constantly necessary; insomuch that I often wonder how it is, that
I sometimes hear people say, they seem at a loss how to spend their
time; when not only my temporal, but in an especial manner my spiritual
concerns, are always urgent and pressing; so that I find not a moment
to be idle: so true is that declaration of the Most High verified:
“In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto
the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art and unto
dust shalt thou return.” The wise man also saith: “All things are full
of labour” therefore we ought not to repine or murmur at our lot, but
receive all, as at the hand of the Lord with thanksgiving.
Fifth, sixth, and seventh days. I attended three funerals, one on each
day successively. The first was a very ancient female, upwards of
ninety years of age, belonging to Westbury meeting. We had a solemn
meeting on the occasion, in which truth favoured, opening suitable
doctrine, and bringing it home to the states of those present, who
were mostly Friends. The hidden things of Esau, or the first nature,
and the secret lurking places of self, were searched out and exposed;
for which my mind, with the honest-hearted present, was made glad in
the Lord, and in the apparent working of his power and wisdom. The two
last were not members of our society, but were favourably disposed to
Friends. They were seasons of favour. A meeting, was held at each, and
both largely attended by the neighbouring inhabitants. The doctrines
delivered were well adapted to the conditions of the hearers, and were
brought home to many minds in the demonstration of truth, breaking and
contriting many hearts; and thanksgiving and praises were returned to
the Shepherd of Israel, as a tribute of gratitude for such unmerited
mercies.
First day, the 3d of 4th month. Our meeting to-day was favoured with
the overshadowing wing of divine truth, and its power exalted over all,
contriting and comforting many minds. But alas, what small advancements
are made by many of those who are often dug about and watered by the
compassionate Shepherd of Israel, whose mercy is still eminently
dispensed to man, the workmanship of his holy hand.
I attended two funerals in the course of this week, one on fifth day,
after the sitting of our preparative meeting, and the other on sixth
day. Both were young men in the prime of life. The latter unmarried,
and was a relation to my wife. His parents had a healthful family
of children, and had never met with the like trial before. It was
therefore a very affecting scene both to them and their children; they
having been before favoured with almost an unbroken scene of worldly
prosperity, which made the wound sink deeper. We had a very solemn
meeting on the occasion, wherein I was largely opened to preach the
gospel in the demonstration of truth; and among other things to show
to the people, the necessity and sure felicity of an early preparation
for death; and that God was the alone proper object for man to set his
heart and affections upon. The auditory were mostly not in membership
with Friends. Many of them were much broken and contrited, and a
general, and very precious solemnity was spread over the meeting. The
hearts of many were made glad, from a sense of the Lord’s continued and
unmerited goodness and mercy to the children of men; still showing his
unwillingness that any should die in their sins, and that all might
repent, turn to him and live.
First day, the 10th. I had a hard suffering meeting to-day, in which
I witnessed not only deep inward poverty, but had to struggle with
unprofitable thoughts, with very little ability to maintain the
warfare; yet, under the consideration that it was altogether as good,
if not better, than my deserts could justly require, I was preserved
from murmuring or complaining at my lot, being willing to receive evil
as well as good, at the hand of my gracious and compassionate Lord,
when he sees meet to permit or dispense it. “Shall we receive good at
the hand of God, and shall we not evil?”
The rest of this week was principally occupied in a close application
to my temporal concerns, except attending our monthly and select
preparative meetings, which came at this time. My belief was similar to
the apostle’s, that he who is not carefully industrious to labour for
his own and household’s comfortable support, may be considered to have
denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel; as they are generally
careful on those accounts.
First day, the 17th. The meeting to-day was pretty open and
comfortable. The rest of the week was mostly taken up in attending our
quarterly meeting, held at New-York at this time.
First day, the 24th. Sat our meeting mostly in silence.
Second, third, and fourth days. Were taken up principally in caring for
my temporal concerns. Alas, how much precious time is expended for the
accommodation of those houses of clay, which must shortly return to
the dust from whence they were taken; and which often burden, and too
much indispose the mind for heavenly and spiritual meditations, unless
carefully watched and strongly guarded against.
Fifth day. I was wholly silent in our meeting to-day; in the course
of which I had full evidence of the truth of that saying of the great
Master, that of ourselves, without him, we can do nothing.
Sixth and seventh days. Were accompanied with heart searchings,
discouragement, and dismay; in which I witnessed the truth of that
saying, that vain is the help of man, whose efforts often tend more to
sully and weaken, than to brighten and strengthen the minds of those
they strive to help. This is principally owing to their dwelling on the
surface, and judging from the outward appearance, instead of digging
deep in search of the mind of truth, which only can enable to judge
with righteous judgment.
First day, the 1st of 5th month. Sat our meeting in silence, and in
much poverty of spirit; and when the season for closing the meeting
seemed near at hand, I looked over the assembly, which was pretty
large, with a degree of sympathy and commiseration, which brought to my
remembrance the compassionate saying of our Lord to his disciples, on,
as I apprehended, a similar occasion, viz: “If I send them away fasting
to their own houses, they will faint by the way.” This put a stop to my
mind with regard to closing the meeting; and as I knew I had nothing to
give, I looked around to see what was to be done. A friend then stood
up with something comparable to the five loaves and the two fishes,
which were found formerly in the lad’s basket. As they were broken, she
handed them to the company, until all appeared satisfied; for which I
was thankful.
Seventh day. The week hath passed away. Oh time, precious time, how
swift thou passest on, by us almost unenjoyed and unimproved! How soon
thou wilt land thy travelling pilgrim in the house appointed for all
living; where, oh my soul, thou knowest there is no repentance nor
amendment known! Prepare then, oh prepare, for thy final change!
First day, the 8th of 5th month. A poor silent meeting until near the
close, when a little light sprang up and dispelled the darkness, and
sweetened all the bitter. By such things we are instructed, and learn
to know our dependent state, and that it is the Lord’s doings, and
marvellous in our eyes.
Nothing uncommon transpired in the course of this week, save as
usual, bonds and afflictions for the gospel’s sake, spiritually and
inwardly experienced, await me; from a view and sense of the spread
of evil, and the great want of faithful testimony-bearers in society;
and the languor and weakness which abound; that I am sometimes almost
involuntarily led to cry, alas for the day.
First day, the 15th. My mind was deeply exercised in our meeting to-day
on divers important subjects, and largely led forth in communication:
but for want of a more full openness and preparation in the auditory to
receive, the labour was arduous and exercising, yet I trust profitable
to some.
The rest of the week was employed in my usual attention to my necessary
temporal concerns, and an unfailing attention to those of a religious
nature. Our monthly meeting was held this week. The meeting for
Ministers and Elders belonging to the yearly meeting was held on
seventh day, at the tenth hour, which my wife and myself attended.
It was, I think, in a good degree a favoured time; as were the public
meetings on first day, both forenoon and afternoon. On second day the
yearly meeting for discipline opened at the tenth hour, and continued
by adjournments until fifth day evening. It was for the most part a
comfortable profitable season, evidencing in the several sittings,
that the Lord had not forsaken his people, but was still graciously
manifesting his presence and power for our comfort and help, in
ordering the affairs of the Church. On sixth day Friends turned their
faces towards home, where I arrived at evening with my wife and two
youngest daughters, who constitute my present family, except servants.
The next day I felt myself in a cheerful readiness to put my hands to
whatever they found to do, as right to be done.
First day, the 29th. Felt myself so much indisposed with a cold and
considerable pain of body, as to be prevented from attending our
meeting to-day; in reflecting thereon, and how very seldom I had been
thus prevented for many years past, my mind was filled with gratitude
and thankfulness to our gracious Helper and Preserver, for the portion
of bodily health allotted me in the course of his divine providence;
whereby, I have been almost invariably of ability of body for a number
of years, to attend all our religious meetings, which I consider and
number among our chiefest blessings and benefits.
The latter end of this week I joined our friend William Flanner, who
was here on a religious visit from Ohio; and attended a number of
meetings in divers places, where no meetings of our society were held.
I had had a prospect of visiting those places some time before. We were
out three days and attended five meetings. The first was with Friends
at Bethpage, the rest among people inclining to Friends, and those of
other professions. They were, I think, all favoured seasons. The Lord’s
presence and power were manifested for our help, furnishing ability
to minister suitably to the different states of the people, in the
demonstration of the spirit. Many hearts were humbled and contrited,
and the assemblies solemnized, and truth raised into dominion over
all; and our hearts were made glad under an humbling sense of the
continuation of the Lord’s mercy and compassion, still extended to the
children of men. We returned home on first day evening, the 5th of 6th
month.
The three following days I was about home, mostly employed in my
temporal concerns.
On sixth day attended the funeral of a friend of Westbury meeting.
It was a solemn time, in which I found it my place to be an example
of silence. Seventh day spent at home. On first day, the 12th of 6th
month, I attended two meetings, by appointment, among those not of
our society. One in the morning at Cold Spring, and the other at four
o’clock in the afternoon at Huntington. They were both seasons of
extensive labour, and I hope profitable to some; and productive of
peace to my own mind.
On second day I went to New-York in order to attend the meeting for
sufferings, which I accordingly attended the next day, and returned
home at evening. On fourth day attended to my temporal concerns with
usual industry.
Fifth day attended our monthly meeting, at which several matters
occurred producing exercise to my mind, which led to a communication of
prospects; and although some diversity of sentiment was expressed, yet
I was favoured so to unfold the subjects, that they were concluded in a
general unity.
Sixth and seventh days. Spent in attending to my usual affairs.
First day, the 19th of 6th month. I was led in our meeting to-day, to
set forth the excellency of real poverty of spirit; as it is that only,
which can produce that truly humble state, to which the blessing is
annexed.
Fifth day. As I was sitting in our meeting enjoying the especial
advantages which are attached to silent meetings, when the mind
is silently prostrated at the throne of grace, and helped to be
sequestered from all intruding thoughts, and wholly centered in and
upon Jehovah, the alone object of worship and adoration; a subject
opened and spread in a way which led to communication; in which I had
to show, that there were but two proper motives or inducements for
our rightly attending religious meetings. The first related to such
as were unbelievers, or those who were ignorant of the right way of
worshipping God in and under the dispensation of the gospel, which
according to our Lord’s declaration to the woman of Samaria, is only to
be performed in spirit and in truth. The principal benefit to these,
is to be informed and instructed; for which more especially, the Lord
hath ordained a ministry in his Church, by means of instruments rightly
qualified therefor, by the baptismal influence of the Holy Ghost. The
second relates to such as are already instructed and informed, whose
judgments are convinced, and whose motive as it relates to themselves
is, to meet together to wait upon and worship God in spirit and in
truth, without any regard or consideration to any external ministry
or means whatever: as it is only in a state of entire sequestration
from every thing of an outward or external nature, that the soul is
permitted to enter into the holy place, not made with hands; and
admitted into the immediate presence of Jehovah, and rendered capable
of worshipping him, in spirit and in truth, as the gospel requires.
Sixth and seventh days. Spent in my usual vocation as a farmer.
First day, the 26th of 6th month. Attended two meetings by appointment,
among those principally not of our society. The first was held in a
Friend’s house at a place called the Half Hollow Hills. The latter at
the fourth hour in the afternoon, at a village called New Babylon, in
the township of Huntington. It was held in a school-house, and was
a large meeting, mostly of the Presbyterian persuasion. The people
behaved very soberly, becoming the occasion. It was a very solemn
favoured season; many hearts were contrited and made thankful for the
opportunity; and my heart was much enlarged in love to the assembly.
I trust I felt a mutual return of the same feeling from most present,
for which I was made thankful to the Shepherd of Israel; and for the
continuation of his gracious regard in manifesting his presence, and
making bare his arm, for the help of his devoted servants; showing
himself indeed to be a God near at hand, and a present helper in the
needful time, worthy to be praised and adored by the children of men,
throughout all ages, world without end.
The rest of this week I spent mostly about home, being closely engaged
in making hay, which for want of suitable help, made it necessary for
me to labour myself, beyond what seemed suitable for one of my age;
but I felt peace of mind in so doing, although I suffered some pain of
body, as the result of my exertion.
First day, the 3d of 7th month. Sat our meeting in silence. At the
third hour in the afternoon attended the funeral of a deceased
neighbour. Although my mind was brought under some exercise, which
led to communication; yet I found very little relief, owing, as I
apprehended, to the prevalence of a libertine spirit in many present.
For these are generally disposed to mock at, and ridicule every
thing serious, or that has the appearance of religion and godliness:
rebellious children who hate the light, because their deeds are evil,
and who take more delight in revelling and drunkenness than in the
fear of the Lord. I often feel sad for such as these, and my mind goes
clothed as it were with sackcloth, unseen by the world. O, when will
they be awakened to a right sense of their miserable condition! I often
fear that some of them have nearly sinned out their day; and to whom
the scripture declaration will apply: “He that, being often reproved,
hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without
remedy.”
Second, third and fourth days. Busily employed in my husbandry
concerns, with my mind clothed with peace towards all men, and with
hope towards God my Saviour: and comforted at times in the remembrance
of that apostolic declaration, where it is asserted: “We know that we
have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren.”
Fifth day. Attended our meeting in silence, the fire being low on the
altar.
Sixth and seventh days. Closely engaged in making and securing hay for
the accommodation of my stock the ensuing winter; as I consider it a
duty to provide plenty of good provender for them, so as to render
their lives as comfortable as may be, whilst under my care.
First day, the 10th. As I sat in our meeting to-day, my mind was led
into a consideration and prospect of the excellency and amiableness
of justice, and of the vast advantage which would accrue to the
children of men by a strict adherence thereto; as it would greatly
tend to regulate our conduct, both as it relates to our duty to God
our creator, and also to man, our fellow creature: and therefore ought
to be the governing principle and main spring of all our conduct, as
well in our temporal, as in our spiritual concerns. The subject spread
and enlarged and opened to communication; and, I trust, proved an
instructive comfortable season to some present; and I felt a reward of
peace in my labour.
Second day. Attended the funeral of a deceased neighbour, who was not
a member of our society, but being convinced of our principles, and
inclined to Friends, the family desired a meeting might be held, which
was accordingly agreed to. It was a large collection of people of
various denominations, and a considerable number of the looser sort.
I had an open favoured time among them, in which the power of truth
rose into dominion over all, humbling and contriting many hearts, and a
general solemnity was felt to cover the meeting to the praise of Him,
who is over all, God blessed for ever.
Third and fourth days. Occupied in my usual concerns, but did not
feel that full peace of mind with my fourth day’s exercise that is
generally my experience, owing, as I apprehended, to a want of a more
full attention to a small intimation respecting that day’s employment.
Remember, oh my soul! that all thy success in temporals, as well as all
thy sweet inward heavenly consolations, depend upon thy faithfulness
and ready submission to those inward divine intimations; although
sometimes small, they ought to be considered by thee, binding and
obligatory, as the only source from whence all thy true peace and joy
are derived.
Fifth day. This was our preparative meeting, and as it was the one
preceding the quarterly meeting, the queries were read and answered;
but I apprehended in a way not tending to much profit, either by reason
of one or two improper questions being added to the queries of late,
which to many Friends appeared inconsistent to be answered; or from
the want of a more lively spiritual exercise with the members; or
both might have had a share in producing a dull distressing season.
No way seemed to open for any relief, so we had patiently to bear it.
And indeed I thought it required a large share of patience to sit the
meeting through without murmuring; the chariot wheels seemed to go very
heavily on, as though almost sunk in the slough of despond; but we did
what we could, and so left the matter; and I returned home with a heavy
heart, and was preserved, I trust, from murmuring at my lot.
Sixth day. Spent in gathering in my harvest and some other small
exercises. The day closed with a quiet and peaceful mind. What a
paradise it is when this is our lot.
Seventh day. Visited two Friends who were under some bodily infirmity.
The visits were mutually comfortable. Such opportunities, when rightly
conducted, tend to the increase of friendship and mutual love.