AMBIDEXTROUS, adj. Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or
a left.
AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be villified by enemies while
living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
AMNESTY, n. The State's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be
too expensive to punish.
ANOINT, v.t. To grease. To consecrate a king or other great functionary
already sufficiently slippery.
As sovereigns are anointed by the priesthood,
So pigs to lead the populace are greased good.
Judibras.
ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
APHORISM, n. A brief statement, bald in style and flat in sense.
The flabby wine-skin of a brain
That, spilling once and filled again,
Voids from its impotent abysm
The driblet of an aphorism.
"The Mad Philosopher" 1697
APOLOGIZE, v. i. To lay the foundation for a future offence.
APOSTATE, n. A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only
to find the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a
new attachment to a fresh turtle.
APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and
grave worm's provider.
When Jove sent blessings to all men that are,
And Mercury conveyed them in a jar,
That friend of tricksters introduced by stealth
Disease for the apothecary's health,
Whose gratitude impelled him to proclaim:
"My deadliest drug shall bear my patron's name!"