TREBELL. [_His thoughts running quickly._] There'll only be a nominal
majority of sixteen against them. The Labour lot are committed on their side
... and now that the Irish have gone--
WEDGECROFT. But they'll be beaten on the Address first go.
TREBELL. Yes ... Horsham hasn't any doubt of it.
WEDGECROFT. He'll be in office within a week of the King's speech.
TREBELL. [_With another access of energy._] I'll pull the bill that's in my
head through a Horsham cabinet and the House. Then I'll leave them ...
they'll go to the country--
WEDGECROFT. You know Percival's pledge about that at Bristol wasn't very
definite.
TREBELL. Horsham means to.
WEDGECROFT. [_With friendly contempt._] Oh, Horsham!
TREBELL. Anyway, it's about Percival I want you. How ill is he?
WEDGECROFT. Not very.
TREBELL. Is he going to die?
WEDGECROFT. Well, I'm attending him.
TREBELL. [_Pinked._] Yes ... that's a good answer. How does he stomach me in
prospect as a colleague, so far?
WEDGECROFT. Sir, professional etiquette forbids me to disclose what a
patient may confess in the sweat of his agony.
TREBELL. He'll be Chancellor again and lead the House.
WEDGECROFT. Why not? He only grumbles that he's getting old.
TREBELL. [_Thinking busily again._] The difficulty is I shall have to stay
through one budget with them. He'll have a surplus ... well, it looks like
it ... and my only way of agreeing with him will be to collar it.
WEDGECROFT. But ... good heavens! ... you'll have a hundred million or so to
give away when you've disendowed.
TREBELL. Not to give away. I'll sell every penny.
WEDGECROFT. [_With an incredulous grin._] You're not going back to extending
old-age pensions after turning the unfortunate Liberals out on it, are you?
TREBELL. No, no ... none of your half crown measures. They can wait to round
off their solution of that till they've the courage to make one big bite of
it.
WEDGECROFT. We shan't see the day.
TREBELL. [_Lifting the subject off its feet._] Not if I come out of the
cabinet and preach revolution?
WEDGECROFT. Or will they make a Tory of you?
TREBELL. [_Acknowledging that stroke with a return grin._] It'll be said
they have when the bill is out.
WEDGECROFT. It's said so already.
TREBELL. Who knows a radical bill when he sees it!
WEDGECROFT. I'm not pleased you have to be running a tilt against the party
system. [_He becomes a little dubious._] My friend ... it's a nasty
windmill. Oh, you've not seen that article in the Nation on Politics and
Society ... it's written at Mrs. Farrant and Lady Lurgashall and that set.
They hint that the Tories would never have had you if it hadn't been for
this bad habit of opposite party men meeting each other.
TREBELL. [_Unimpressed._] Excellent habit! What we really want in this
country is a coalition of all the shibboleths with the rest of us in
opposition ... for five years only.
WEDGECROFT. [_Smiling generously._] Well, it's a sensation to see you become
arbiter. The Tories are owning they can't do without you. Percival likes you
personally ... Townsend don't matter ... Cantelupe you buy with a price, I
suppose ... Farrant you can put in your pocket. I tell you I think the man
you may run up against is Blackborough.
TREBELL. No, all he wants is to be let look big ... and to have an idea
given him when he's going to make a speech, which isn't often.
WEDGECROFT. Otherwise ... I suppose ... now I may go down to history as
having been in your confidence. I'm very glad you've arrived.
TREBELL. [_With great seriousness._] I've sharpened myself as a weapon to
this purpose.
WEDGECROFT. [_Kindly._] And you're sure of yourself, aren't you?
TREBELL. [_Turning his wrist._] Try.
WEDGECROFT. [_Slipping his doctor's fingers over the the pulse._] Seventy, I
should say.
TREBELL. I promise you it hasn't varied a beat these three big months.
WEDGECROFT. Well, I wish it had. Perfect balance is most easily lost. How do
you know you've the power of recovery? ... and it's that gets one up in the
morning day by day.
TREBELL. Is it? My brain works steadily on ... hasn't failed me yet. I keep
it well fed. [_He breathes deeply._] But I'm not sure one shouldn't have
been away from England for five years instead of five weeks ... to come back
to a job like this with a fresh mind. D'you know why really I went back on
the Liberals over this question? Not because they wanted the church money
for their pensions ... but because all they can see in Disestablishment is
destruction. Any fool can destroy! I'm not going to let a power like the
Church get loose from the State. A thirteen hundred years, tradition of
service ... and all they can think of is to cut it adrift!
WEDGECROFT. I think the Church is moribund.
TREBELL. Oh, yes, of course you do ... you sentimental agnostic anarchist.
Nonsense! The supernatural's a bit blown upon ... till we re-discover what
it means. But it's not essential. Nor is the Christian doctrine. Put a
Jesuit in a corner and shut the door and he'll own that. No ... the
tradition of self-sacrifice and fellowship in service for its own sake ...
that's the spirit we've to capture and keep.
WEDGECROFT. [_Really struck._] A secular Church!
TREBELL. [_With reasoning in his tone._] Well ... why not? Listen here. In
drafting an act of Parliament one must alternately imagine oneself God
Almighty and the most ignorant prejudiced little blighter who will be
affected by what's passed. God says: Let's have done with Heaven and Hell
... it's the Earth that shan't pass away. Why not turn all those theology
mongers into doctors or schoolmasters?