_Answers to Correspondents._
_Mother of the Gracchi._--If your son is under age, below the standard
height, is obliged to wear coloured glasses, suffers much from
face-ache, and frequently has carbuncles, we fear his chances of
obtaining a commission in the Household Cavalry are nil.
_Anxious to help._--The pistols used by your grandfather during the
Peninsular War would not, we are afraid, be of any use to your nephew in
the present campaign.
_All-British Matron._--We regret that we do not quite understand from
your letter whether it is your new Vicar that you suspect of pro-German
proclivities, or the pew-opener. We advise you to communicate with the
nearest Rural Dean or Archdeacon.
_Troubled Parent._--We fear that your boy will be obliged to dispense
with his hot-water bottle now that he has joined the Army, and it would
be no use your writing to his commanding officer about the matter.
_Aunt Alice._--Lord KITCHENER hardly ever accepts invitations to
tea-parties, but it was nice of you to think of asking him.
* * * * *
"Dans l'Est, nous avons du refuser une suspension d'armes,
probablement destinee a l'inhumation des blesses."
To judge from this extract from _Le Nord Maritime_ the French still lack
a true appreciation of German culture.
* * * * *
Illustration: OWING TO THE OUTCRY AGAINST HIGH-PLACED ALIENS A WEALTHY
GERMAN TRIES TO LOOK AS LITTLE HIGH-PLACED AS POSSIBLE.
* * * * *