couldn’t bear to see you crying. And I was a bit unnerved myself. It’s
done me good, talking to him. He’s so extraordinarily plucky himself
and he’s never in any kind of doubt. He’s cleared my mind of doubt. If
I could marry you without doing you a wrong, there’s nothing I wouldn’t
do to bring it about. You know that, don’t you? I love you more than
any one in the world, you’ll always be my own child, and nothing can
take away my right to love you and try to protect you. But we can’t
marry; so we mustn’t upset each other by thinking about it. I’m going
away to try and get cured, and you must get well yourself and make your
own life just as though we’d never thought of marrying. You remember
that I made a will some weeks ago? I’m arranging for certain money to
be paid you—”
“Eric!”
“Yes. That’ll make you independent. I want to see you happily married.
You told me that, if I were dead or if we’d never met, you’d probably
marry John Gaymer. I want you to pretend that we’ve never met. I hate
to think of giving any one else the right to take care of you, but I
can’t do it from the other side of the Atlantic... You’ve been a
wonderful thing in my life, a little fairy that walked in out of the
street... I shall expect to hear everything that you do and how you’re
getting on. I’m going to get quite well, but a man with weak lungs has
no business to marry. And that’s the long and the short of it. I’m
going down to-morrow to tell my people... If ever you need help, Ivy,
you can call on me; I’ll come back from California, if I can do
anything for you. Now I mustn’t keep you awake, or I shall get into
trouble with Gaisford. Promise me you won’t worry. Promise me you won’t
make yourself miserable... Darling Ivy, you mustn’t cry again; I’m
losing more than you are. Don’t try to talk. Just kiss me good-night.
May God bless you, Ivy, and make you very happy.”
As he untwined her arms and turned out the light, he could hear the
sobs breaking out afresh. They followed him across the hall into his
bedroom. Nearly three years earlier, when he had said good-bye to
Barbara, he had returned home to find the telephone ringing in every
room and he had muffled the bells and thrown himself half-undressed on
his bed, blind and mad with pain. For two years he had wondered what
would have happened, if he had yielded to temptation and spoken to
her....
The sobbing of a heart-broken child pursued him, though he shut his
door and buried his head in the pillows. O’Rane was convinced that he
had only to make his appeal, to trade on his own health and beg her to
come with him....
If she dreaded the appeal, why did she go on crying?
He tried to think of next day’s meeting with his mother. “No danger...
I assure you there’s nothing to worry about! Ask Gaisford, if you don’t
believe me...” And then, as in a careless postscript: “Of course, there
can be no question of marrying. Just as well we found out in time,
wasn’t it?” Would his mother be deceived? He would have to tell her in
that quiet, confidential hour when his father had gone to bed; he would
surely tell her in his father’s drowsy, smoke-laden work-room where he
had already boasted—prematurely enough to set God scheming against
him—that he would make an effort to win, that he _would_ win, that he
had won....
If indeed he had won, it was a secret victory; and Raney alone knew
whom he had met and overcome....
The sobbing still haunted him. If Ivy dreaded the appeal, how _could_
she go on crying?
He threw aside the pillows and walked uncertainly to the door. His
fingers went to the handle and drew back without touching it, went
forward again, tried and turned. The door opened, and he could hear
muffled sobbing, no longer imaginary. He walked on tip-toe half-way
across the hall, then returned and stood listening in the open
door-way. Then he closed the door and locked it.
The sobbing grew fainter and died away.
THE END
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Transcriber’s notes
1. Silently corrected typographical errors and inconsistencies;
retained non-standard spelling.
2. Retained non-standard punctuation and ellipses.
3. Page 270: the left brace was not retained.
4. Italic text in the original is delimited by _underscores_.