than you think, young man."
"Oh! if he bluffs, _I_ can bluff too," passed through Leander's mind.
"Inspector Bilbow," he said, "I give you my sacred honour, I've never
set eyes on him. He can't have been here, not with my knowledge. It's my
belief you're trying to make out something against me. If you're a
friend, Inspector, you'll tell me straight out."
"That's not our way of doing business; and yet, hang it, I ought to know
an honest man by this time! Tweddle, I'll drop the investigator, and
speak as man to man. You've been reported to me (never mind by whom) as
the receiver of the stolen Venus--a pal of this very Potter--that's what
I've against you, my man!"
"I know who told you that," said Leander; "it was that Count and his
precious friend Braddle!"
"Oh, you know them, do you? That's an odd guess for an innocent man,
Tweddle!"
"They found me out from inquiries at the gardens," said Leander; "and as
for guessing, it's in this very paper. So it's me they've gone and
implicated, have they? All right. I suppose they're men whose word you'd
go by, wouldn't you, sir--truthful, reliable kind of parties, eh?"
"None of that, Tweddle," said the Inspector, rather uneasily. "We
officers are bound to follow up any clue, no matter where it comes from.
I was informed that that Venus is concealed somewhere about these
premises. It may be, or it may not be; but it's my duty to make the
proper investigations. If you were a prince of the blood, it would be
all the same."
"Well, all I can say is, that I'm as innocent as my own toilet
preparations. Ask yourself if it is likely. What could _I_ do with a
stolen statue--not to mention that I'm a respectable tradesman, with a
reputation to maintain? Excuse me, but I'm afraid those burglars have
been 'aving a lark with you, sir."
He went just a little too far here, for the detective was visibly
irritated.
"Don't chatter to me," he said. "If you're innocent, so much the better
for you; if that statue is found here after this, it will ruin you. If
you know anything, be it ever so little, about it, the best thing you
can do is to speak out while there's time."
"I can only say, once more, I'm as innocent as the drivelling snow,"
repeated Leander. "Why can't you believe my word against those
blackguards?"
"Perhaps I do," said the other; "but I must make a formal look round, to
ease my conscience."
Leander's composure nearly failed him. "By all means," he said at
length. "Come and ease your conscience all over the house, sir, do; I
can show you over."
"Softly," said the detective. "I'll begin here, and work gradually up,
and then down again."
"Here?" said Leander, aghast. "Why, you've seen all there is there!"
"Now, Tweddle, I shall conduct this my own way, if _you_ please. I've
been following your eyes, Tweddle, and they've told me tales. I'll
trouble you to open that cupboard you keep looking at so."
"This cupboard?" cried Leander. "Why, you don't suppose I've got the
Venus in there, sir!"
"If it's anywhere, it's there! There's no taking me in, I tell you. Open
it!"
"Oh!" said Leander, "it is hard to be the object of these cruel
suspicions. Mr. Inspector, listen to me. I can't open that cupboard, and
I'll tell you why.... You--you've been young yourself.... Think how
you'd feel in my situation ... and consider _her_! As a gentleman, you
won't press it, I'm sure!"
"If I'm making any mistake, I shall know how to apologise," said the
Inspector. "If you don't open that cupboard, _I_ shall."
"Never!" exclaimed Leander. "I'll die first!" and he threw himself upon
the handle.
The other caught him by the shoulders, and sent him twirling into the
opposite corner; and then, taking a key from his own pocket, he opened
the door himself.
"I--I never encouraged her!" whimpered Leander, as he saw that all was
lost.
The officer had stepped back in silence from the cupboard; then he faced
Leander, with a changed expression. "I suppose you think yourself
devilish sharp?" he said savagely; and Leander discovered that the
cupboard was as bare as Mother Hubbard's!
He was not precisely surprised, except at first. "She's keeping out of
the way; she wouldn't be the goddess she is if she couldn't do a
trifling thing like that!" was all he thought of the phenomenon. He
forced himself to laugh a little.
"Excuse me," he said, "but you did seem so set on detecting something
wrong, that I couldn't help humouring you!"
Inspector Bilbow was considerably out of humour, and gave Leander to
understand that he would laugh in a certain obscure region, known as
"the other side of his face," by-and-by. "You take care, that's my
advice to you, young man. I've a deuced good mind to arrest you on
suspicion as it is!" he said hotly.
"Lor', sir!" said Leander, "what for--for not having anything in that
cupboard?"
"It's my belief you know more than you choose to tell. Be that as it
may, I shall not take you into custody for the present; but you pay
attention to what I'm going to tell you next. Don't you attempt to leave
this house, or to remove anything from it, till you see me again, and
that'll be some time to-morrow evening. If you do attempt it, you'll be
apprehended at once, for you're being watched. I tell you that for your
own sake, Tweddle; for I've no wish to get you into trouble if you act
fairly by me. But mind you stay where you are for the next twenty-four
hours."
"And what's to happen then?" said Leander.
"I mean to have the whole house thoroughly searched and you must be
ready to give us every assistance--that's what's to happen. I might make
a secret of it; but where's the use? If you're not a fool, you'll see
that it won't do to play any tricks. You'd far better stand by me than
Potter."
"I tell you I don't know Potter. _Blow_ Potter!" said Leander, warmly.
"We shall see," was all the detective deigned to reply; "and just be
ready for my men to-morrow evening, or take the consequences. Those are
my last words to you!"
And with this he took his leave. He was by no means the most brilliant
officer in the Department, and he felt uncomfortably aware that he did
not see his way clear as yet. He could not even make up his mind on so
elementary a point as Leander's guilt or innocence.
But he meant to take the course he had announced, and his frankness in
giving previous notice was not without calculation. He argued thus: If
Tweddle was free from all complicity, nothing was lost by delaying the
search for a day; if he were guilty, he would be more than mortal if he
did not attempt, after such a warning, either to hide his booty more
securely, and probably leave traces which would betray him, or else to
escape when his guilt would be manifest.
Unfortunately, there were circumstances in the case which he could not
be expected to know, and which made his logic inapplicable.
After he had gone, Leander thrust his hands deep into his pockets, and
began to whistle forlornly. "A little while ago it was burglars--now
it's police!" he reflected aloud. "I'm going it, I am! And then there's
Matilda and that there Venus--one predickyment on top of another!" (But
here a sudden hope lightened his burden.) "Suppose she's took herself
off for good?" He was prevented from indulging this any further by a
long, low laugh, which came from the closed cupboard.
"No such luck--she's back again!" he groaned. "Oh, _come_ out if you
want to. Don't stay larfin' at me in there!"
The goddess stepped out, with a smile of subdued mirth upon her lips.
"Leander," she said, "did it surprise you just now that I had vanished?"
"Oh," he said wearily, "I don't know--yes, I suppose so. You found some
way of getting through at the back, I dare say?"
"Do you think that even now I cannot break through the petty restraints
of matter?"
"Well, however it was managed, it was cleverly done. I must say that. I
didn't hardly expect it of you. But you must do the same to-morrow
night, mind you!"
"Must I, indeed?" she said.
"Yes, unless you want to ruin me altogether, you must. They're going to
search the premises _for you_!"
"I have heard all," she said. "But give yourself no anxiety: by that
time you and I will be beyond human reach."
"Not me," he corrected. "If you think I'm going to let myself be wafted
over to Cyprus (which is British soil now, let me tell you), you're
under a entire delusion. I've never been wafted anywhere yet, and I
don't mean to try it!"
All her pent-up wrath broke forth and descended upon him with crushing
force.
"Meanest and most contemptible of mortal men, you shall recognize me as
the goddess I am! I have borne with you too long; it shall end this
night. Shallow fool that you have been, to match your puny intellect
against a goddess famed for her wiles as for her beauty! You have
thought me simple and guileless; you have never feared to treat me with
disrespect; you have even dared to suppose that you could keep me--an
immortal--pent within these wretched walls! I humoured you; I let you
fool yourself with the notion that your will was free--your soul your
own. Now that is over! Consider the perils which encircle you.
Everything has been aiding to drive you into these arms. My hour of
triumph is at hand--yield, then! Cast yourself at my feet, and grovel
for pardon--for mercy--or assuredly I will spare you not!"
Leander went down on all fours on the hearthrug. "Mercy!" he cried,
feebly. "I've meant no offence. Only tell me what you want of me."
[Illustration: LEANDER WENT DOWN ON ALL FOURS ON THE HEARTH-RUG.]
"Why should I tell you again? I demand the words from you which place
you within my power: speak them at once!"
("Ah," thought Leander, "I am not in her power as it is, then.") "If I
was to tell you once more that I couldn't undertake to say any such
words?" he asked aloud.
"Then," she said, "my patience would be at an end, and I would scatter
your vile frame to the four winds of heaven!"
"Lady Venus," said Leander, getting up with a white and desperate face,
"don't drive me into a corner. I can't go off, not at a moment's
notice--in either way! I--I must have a day--only a day--to make my
arrangements in. Give me a day, Lady Venus; I ask it as a partickler
favour!"
"Be it so," she said. "One day I give you in which to take leave of
such as may be dear to you; but, after that, I will listen to no further
pleadings. You are mine, and, all unworthy as you are, I shall hold you
to your pledge!"
Leander was left with this terrible warning ringing in his ears: the
goddess would hold him to his involuntary pledge. Even he could see that
it was pride, and not affection, which rendered her so determined; and
he trembled at the thought of placing himself irrevocably in her power.
But what was he to do? The alternative was too awful; and then, in
either case, he must lose Matilda. Here the recollection of how he had
left her came over him with a vivid force. What must she be thinking of
him at that moment? And who would ever tell her the truth, when he had
been spirited away for ever?
"Oh, Matilda!" he cried, "if you only knew the hidgeous position I'm
in--if you could only advise me what to do--I could bear it better!"
And then he resolved that he would ask that advice without delay, and
decide nothing until she replied. There was no reason for any further
concealment: she had seen the statue herself, and must know the worst.
What she could not know was his perfect innocence of any real
unfaithfulness to her, and that he must explain.
He sat up all night composing a letter that should touch her to the
heart, with the following result:--
"MY OWN DEAREST GIRL,
"If such you will still allow me to qualify you, I write to you in
a state of mind that I really 'ardly know what I am about, but I
cannot indure making no effort to clear up the gaping abiss which
the events of the past fatal afternoon has raised betwixt us.
"In spite of all I could do, you have now seen, and been justly
alarmed at, the Person with whom I allowed myself to become
involved in such a unhappy and unprecedented manner, and having
done so, you can think for yourself whether that Art of Stone was
able for to supplant yours for a single moment, though the way in
which such a hidgeous Event transpired I can not trust my pen to
describe except in the remark that it was purely axidental. It all
appened on that ill-ominous Saturday when we went down to those
Gardens where my Doom was saving up to lay in wait for me, and I
scorn to deny that Bella's sister Ada was one of the party. But as
to anything serous in that quarter, oh Tilly the ole time I was
contrasting you with her and thinking how truly superior, and never
did I swerve not what could be termed a swerve for a instant. I did
dance arf a walz with her--but why? Because she asked me to it and
as a Gentleman I was bound to oblige! And that was afterwards too,
when I had put that ring on which is the sauce of all my recent
aggony. All the while I was dancing my thoughts were elsewhere--on
how I could get the ring back again, for so I still hoped I could,
though when I came to have a try, oh my dear girl no one couldn't
persuade her she's that obstinate, and yet unless I do it is all
over with me, and soon too!
"And now if it's the last time I shall ever write words with a
mortal pen, I must request your support in this dilemmer which is
sounding its dread orns at my very door!
"You know what she is and who she is, and you cannot doubt but what
she's a _goddess_ loath as you must feel to admit such a thing, and
I ask you if it would be downright wicked in me to do what she
tells me I must do. Indeed I wont do it, being no less than flying
with her immediate to a distant climb, and you know how repugnant I
am to such a action--not if you advise me against it or even if you
was but to assure me your affections were unchanged in spite of
all! But you know we parted under pigulier circs, and I cannot
disgise from myself that you may be thinking wuss of me than what
Matilda I can honestly say I deserve!
"Now I tell you solimly that if this is the fact, and you've been
thinking of your proper pride and your womanly dignity and things
like that--there's _no time for to do it in_ Matilda, if you don't
want to break with me for all Eternity!
"For she's pressing me to carry out the pledge, as she calls it,
and I must decide before this time to-morrow, and I want to feel
you are not lost to me before I can support my trial, and what with
countless perplexities and burglars threatening, and giving false
informations, and police searching, there's no saying what I may do
nor what I mayn't do if I'm left to myself, for indeed I am very
unappy Matilda, and if ever a man was made a Victim through acting
without intentions, or if with, of the best--I am that Party! O
Matilda don't, don't desert me, unless you have seased to care for
me, and in that contingency I can look upon my Fate whatever it be
with a apathy that will supply the courage which will not even
winch at its approach, but if I am still of value, come, and come
precious soon, or it will be too late to the Asistance of
"Your truly penitent and unfortunate
"LEANDER TWEDDLE.
"P.S.--You will see the condition of my feelings from my
spelling--I haven't the hart to spell."
Dawn was breaking as he put the final touches to this appeal, and read
it over with a gloomy approbation. He had always cherished the
conviction that he could "write a good letter when he was put to it,"
and felt now that he had more than risen to the occasion.
"William shall take it down to Bayswater the first thing to-morrow--no,
to-day, I mean," he said, rubbing his hot eyes. "I fancy it will do my
business!"
And it did.
THE LAST STRAW
XIII.
"Thou in justice,
If from the height of majesty we can
Look down upon thy lowness and embrace it,
Art bound with fervour to look up to me."
MASSINGER, _Roman Actor._
Haggard and distraught was Leander as he went about his business that
morning, so mechanically that one customer, who had requested to have
his luxuriant locks "trimmed," found himself reduced to a state of penal
bullet-headedness before he could protest, and another sacrificed his
whiskers and part of one ear to the hairdresser's uninspired scissors.
For Leander's eyes were constantly turning to the front part of his
shop, where his apprentice might come in at any moment with the answer
to his appeal.
At last the moment came when the bell fixed at the door sounded sharply,
and he saw the sleek head and chubby red face he had been so anxiously
expecting. He was busy with a customer; but that could not detain him
then, and he rushed quickly into the outer shop. "Well, William," he
said, breathlessly, "a nice time you've been over that message! I gave
you the money for your 'bus."
"Yusser, but it was this way: you said a green 'bus, and I took a green
'bus with 'Bayswater' on it, and I didn't know nothing was wrong, and
when it stopped I sez to the conductor, 'This ain't Kensington
Gardings;' and he sez, 'No, it's Archer Street;' and I sez----"
"Never mind that now; you got to the shop, didn't you?"
"Yes, I got to the shop, sir, and I see the lady; but I sez to that
conductor, 'You should ha' told me,' I sez----"
"Did she give you anything for me?" interrupted Leander, impatiently.
"Yessur," said the boy.
"Then where the dooce is it?"
"'Ere!" said William, and brought out an envelope, which his master tore
open with joy. It contained his own letter!
"William," he said unsteadily, "is this all?"
"Ain't it enough, sir?" said the young scoundrel, who had guessed the
state of affairs, and felt an impish satisfaction at his employer's
rejection.
"None of that, William; d'ye hear me?" said Leander. "William, I ain't
been a bad master to you. Tell me, how did she take it?"
"Well, she didn't seem to want to take it nohow at first," said the boy.
"I went up to the desk where she was a-sittin' and gave it her, and
by-and-by she opened it with the tips of her fingers, as if it would
bite, and read it all through very careful, and I could see her nose
going up gradual, and her colour coming, and then she sez to me, 'You
may go now, boy; there's no answer.' And I sez to her, 'If you please,
miss, master said as I was not to go away without a answer.' So she sez,
uncommon short and stiff, 'In that case he shall have it!'--like that,
she says, as proud as a queen, and she scribbles a line or two on it,
and throws it to me, and goes on casting up figgers."
"A line or two! where?" cried Leander, and caught up the letter again.
Yes, there on the last page was Matilda's delicate commercial
handwriting, and the poor man read the cruel words, "_I have nothing to
advise; I give you up to your 'goddess'!_"
"Very well, William," he said, with a deadly calm; "that's all. You
young devil! what are you a-sniggering at?" he added, with a sudden
outburst.
"On'y something I 'eard a boy say in the street, sir, going along, sir;
nothing to do with you, sir."
"Oh, youth, youth!" muttered the poor broken man; "boys don't grow
feelings, any more than they grow whiskers!"
And he went back to his saloon, where he was instantly hailed with
reproaches from the abandoned customer.
"Look here, sir! what do you mean by this? I told you I wanted to be
shaved, and you've soaped the top of my head and left it to cool!
What"--and he made use of expletives here--"what are you about?"
Leander apologized on the ground of business of a pressing nature, but
the customer was not pacified.
"Business, sir! your business is _here_: _I'm_ your business! And I come
to be shaved, and you soap the top of my head, and leave me all alone to
dry! It's scandalous! it's----"
"Look here, sir," interrupted Leander, gloomily; "I've a good deal of
private trouble to put up with just now, without having _you_ going on
at me; so I must ask you not to 'arris me like this, or I don't know
what I might do, with a razor so 'andy!"
"That'll do!" said the customer, hastily. "I--I don't care about being
shaved this morning. Wipe my head, and let me go; no, I'll wipe it
myself,--don't you trouble!" and he made for the door. "It's my belief,"
he said, pausing on the threshold for an instant, "that you're a
dangerous lunatic, sir; you ought to be shut up!"
"I dessay I shall have a mad doctor down on me after this," thought
Leander; "but I shan't wait for _him_. No, it is all over now; the die
is fixed! Cruel Tillie! you have spoke the mandrake; you have thrust me
into the stony harms of that 'eathen goddess--always supposing the
police don't nip in fust, and get the start of her."
No more customers came that day, which was fortunate, perhaps, for them.
The afternoon passed, and dusk approached, but the hairdresser sat on,
motionless, in his darkening saloon, without the energy to light a
single gas-jet.
At last he roused himself sufficiently to go to the head of the stairs
leading to his "labatry," and call for William, who, it appeared, was
composing an egg-wash, after one of his employer's formulae, and came up,
wondering to find the place in darkness.
"Come here, William," said Leander, solemnly. "I just want a few words
with you, and then you can go. I can do the shutting-up myself. William,
we can none of us foretell the future; and it may so 'appen that you are
looking on my face for the last time. If it should so be, William,
remember the words I am now about to speak, and lay them to 'art!...
This world is full of pitfalls; and some of us walk circumspect and keep
out of 'em, and some of us, William--some of us don't. If there's any
places more abounding in pitfalls than what others are, it is the
noxious localities known under the deceitful appellation of 'pleasure'
gardens. And you may take that as the voice of one calling to you from
the bottom of about as deep a 'ole as a mortal man ever plumped into.
And if ever you find a taste for statuary growing on you, William, keep
it down, wrastle with it, and don't encourage it. Farewell, William! Be
here at the usual time to-morrow, though whether you will find _me_ here
is more than I can say."
The boy went away, much impressed by so elaborate and formal a parting,
which seemed to him a sign that, in his parlance, "the guv'nor was going
to make a bolt of it."
Leander busied himself in some melancholy preparations for his impending
departure, dissolution, or incarceration; he was not very clear which it
might be.
He went down and put his "labatry" in order. There he had worked with
all the fiery zeal of an inventor at the discoveries which were to
confer perpetual youth, in various sized bottles, upon a grateful world.
He must leave them all, with his work scarcely begun! Another would step
in and perfect what he had left incomplete!
He came up again, with a heavy heart, and examined his till. There was
not much; enough, however, for William's wages and any small debts. He
made a list of these, and left it there with the coin. "They must settle
it among themselves," he thought, wearily; "I can't be bothered with
business now."
He was thinking whether it was worth while to shut the shop up or not;
when a clear voice sounded from above--
"Leander, where art thou? Come hither!"
And he started as if he had been shot. "I'm coming, madam," he called
up, obsequiously. "I'll be with you in one minute!"
"Now for it," he thought, as he went up to his sitting-room. "I wish I
wasn't all of a twitter. I wish I knew what was coming next!"
The room was dark, but when he got a light he saw the statue standing in
the centre of the room, her hood thrown back, and the fur-lined mantle
hanging loosely about her; the face looked stern and terrible under its
brilliant tint.
"Have you made your choice?" she demanded.
"Choice!" he said. "I haven't any choice left me!"
"It is true," she said triumphantly. "Your friends have deserted you;
mortals are banded together to seize and disgrace you: you have no
refuge but with me. But time is short. Come, then, place yourself within
the shelter of these arms, and, while they enfold you tight in their
marble embrace, repeat after me the words which complete my power."
"There's no partickler hurry," he objected. "I will directly. I--I only
want to know what will happen when I've done it. You can't have any
objection to a natural curiosity like that."