UNBURDENING THE HEART.
"The resolve I have just made, my dear mother," wrote Ernestine, "is a
dangerous one; I fear I did wrong to make it, but to whom can I turn for
advice?
"To you, my dearest mother, I know, but it was while invoking your aid
and protection that this idea occurred to me, and I feel that I must
solve, at any cost, the doubts that so torment me.
"During the last few days many revelations have been made to me, some of
such a sad and depressing nature that they seem to have upset me
entirely, and it is with great difficulty, even now, that I can compose
myself sufficiently to lay my heart bare to you, my kind and tender
mother.
"For some time after my arrival in this house, I could speak only in
terms of the highest praise of my guardian and his family, though
sometimes in my secret heart I did censure them a little for the
inordinate amount of flattery and attention they lavished upon me.
"This attention and these flatteries have not ceased; they have rather
increased, if that were possible.
"My mental attributes, my character, and even my slightest word and act
are praised in the most exaggerated way. As for my figure, my bearing,
my personal appearance, and my every movement, they are all equally
graceful, enchanting, divine,--in short, there is not a more attractive
person in the world than I am.
"Saintly Mlle. Helena, who was never known to utter an untruth, assures
me that I look like a madonna.
"Madame de la Rochaigue says, with what she terms really brutal
frankness, that I am endowed with such rare distinction and elegance of
manner, as well as so many charms of person, that I am sure to become
the most admired woman in Paris some day, in spite of myself.
"And last, but not least, according to my guardian, a serious-minded and
extremely thoughtful man, the beauty of my features and the dignity of
my bearing give me a striking resemblance to the beautiful Duchesse de
Longueville, so famous under the Fronde.
"And when one day, in my artlessness, I expressed astonishment at my
resembling so many persons at the same time, do you know, my dearest
mother, what the answer was?
"'It is very simple. In you, mademoiselle, the most diverse charms are
united, so, in you, each person finds the attraction he prefers.'
"And these flatteries pursue me everywhere. If the hair-dresser comes to
arrange my hair, never before in his life did he see such superb
tresses.
"If I am taken to the milliner's,'What is the use of selecting any
particular shape?' says that lady. 'With a face like mademoiselle's any
style is equally charming and becoming.'
"The dressmaker declares that my figure is so wonderfully elegant that,
dressed in a loosely fitting sack, I should drive the ladies most famed
for their perfection of form wild with envy.
"It is the same with the shoemaker, who declares that he will have to
make a special last for me, never having worked for the possessor of so
small a foot as mine.
"The glovemaker outdoes him even, by declaring that I have the hand of a
dwarf.
"So you see, my dear mother, I may almost consider myself a phenomenon,
fit for a museum.
"Oh, mother, mother, it was not in this way that you spoke when, taking
my face in your two hands, and kissing me on the forehead, you said:
"'My poor Ernestine, you are not beautiful, or even pretty, but the
candour and sweetness of your disposition are so plainly written on your
expressive face that I do not regret your lack of beauty.'
"And these words of praise, the only ones, I believe, that you ever gave
me, I believed, and they made me very happy.
"But alas! the daughter you so fondly loved, has she remained worthy of
you? I do not know. I am not sure.
"Then I knew nothing of doubts, suspicion, and mockery! And for several
days past cruel presentiments have taken such a hold on me that I am as
much astonished as alarmed.
"There must be something terribly insidious in the effects of flattery,
for--to you I must confess all--though I have often thought the praises
lavished upon me must be exaggerated, I wondered why it should be that
so many different people should be so unanimous in praising everything I
said and did.
"Nor is this all.
"The other day Madame de la Rochaigue took me to a concert. I soon
perceived that everybody was looking at me. A number of persons even
passed and repassed me several times, to examine me more closely, I
suppose, though I was very simply dressed. Even when I come out of
church I notice that every one stares at me. I mention the fact, and my
guardian and his family say: 'Yes, you are right. Everybody does stare
at you. See what a sensation you create everywhere!'
"And, in the face of this evidence, what can I say? Nothing.
"I must admit that all this flattery was becoming very pleasant to me.
It surprised me less and less, and though it sometimes occurred to me
how grossly exaggerated it was, I promptly silenced any misgivings on
the subject, by saying to myself:
"'But if this is not true, why is the sensation I create--as my guardian
says--so general?'
"Alas! I was soon to learn.
"This is what occurred:
"A gentleman of whom I have never dared to speak until now, has called
at my guardian's house several times. This gentleman is M. le Marquis de
Maillefort. He is deformed; he has a sardonic air, and he is always
uttering the most sarcastic remarks or ironical compliments that sting
worse than his sarcasms.
"On account of the antipathy he inspired in me, I usually found some
excuse for leaving the drawing-room soon after his arrival, and I was
encouraged in this by the persons around me, for they both feared and
hated M. de Maillefort, though they always greeted him with pretended
affability.
"Three days ago he was ushered into the room where I happened to be
sitting alone with Mlle. Helena. To leave the room at once would have
been too discourteous, so I remained, hoping to be able to make my
escape in a few minutes.
"This short conversation then ensued between M. de Maillefort and Mlle.
Helena. Alas! I have not forgotten a word of it.
"'Ah, good evening, my dear Mlle. Helena,' the marquis began, with his
most sarcastic air. 'I am delighted to find Mlle. de Beaumesnil with
you. She will derive such benefit from your pious conversation. She must
profit so much by your excellent counsels, as well as by those of your
worthy brother and your no less excellent sister-in-law!'
"'We hope so, indeed, M. le marquis, for we feel that we have a sacred
duty to fulfil towards Mlle. de Beaumesnil.'
"'Unquestionably,' replied M. de Maillefort, in more and more sarcastic
tones, 'a sacred duty to which you and yours will sedulously devote
yourselves. Are you not continually repeating to Mlle. de Beaumesnil:
"You are the richest heiress in France, and being that, you are
necessarily the most accomplished and wonderfully gifted person in the
world?"'
"'But, monsieur,' exclaimed Mlle. Helena, interrupting him, 'what you
say--'
"'I leave it to Mlle. de Beaumesnil herself,' retorted the marquis. 'If
she speaks the truth, will she not be obliged to admit that a continual
chorus of praise is resounding around her, magnificently sustained by
our dear baron, his wife, and you, Mlle. Helena,--a delightful chorus in
which you all three sustain your parts with wonderful skill, with
touching self-abnegation and sublime disinterestedness? All roles are
alike to you. To-day, as leaders of the choir, you give the keynote to a
crowd of Mlle. de Beaumesnil's admirers; to-morrow, brilliant soloists,
you will improvise hymns of praise which will reveal the extent of your
resources, the flexibility of your art, and, above all, the adorable
sincerity of your noble hearts.'
"'I suppose, then, monsieur,' said Mlle. Helena, colouring, doubtless,
with anger, 'I suppose, then, that I am to infer that our dear ward has
none of the admirable traits and personal charms which are so generally
conceded to her.'
"'Because she is the richest heiress in France,' replied M. de
Maillefort, with an ironical bow to me; 'and in this character Mlle. de
Beaumesnil has a right to the most outrageous as well as the most
insulting flattery,--insulting, because it is so manifestly untrue, and
dictated solely by baseness and cupidity.'
"I rose, and left the room, scarcely able to keep back the tears.
* * * * *
"I cannot forget his words, mother. They are continually ringing in my
ears.
"M. de Maillefort's remarks were a revelation to me. My eyes were
opened. I understand everything now.
"The praises of every sort and kind, the attentions and protestations of
affection lavished upon me, the sensation I always create at
entertainments, even the flattering remarks of my tradespeople, are all
addressed to the richest heiress in France.
"Ah, mother, it was not without cause that I wrote you of the strange
and unpleasant effect it produced upon me when, the day after my arrival
in this house, I was so pompously informed that I was the mistress of a
colossal fortune.
"'It seems to me,' I said to you then,'that I am in the situation of a
person who possesses a valuable treasure, and fears that it may be
stolen from him at any moment.'
"I understand this feeling now.
"It was the vague presentiment of this fear and distrust which has
pursued me so relentlessly since the truth was thus harshly revealed to
me.
"The praise bestowed upon me, the protestations of attachment made to
me, are due solely to my wealth.
"Yes, mother, M. de Maillefort's spiteful remarks have really been
productive of a great deal of good, though they did cause me so much
pain, for they have enlightened me in regard to the incomprehensible but
increasing dislike my guardian and his family were inspiring in my
heart.
"This revelation at last explains the obsequiousness and servility which
surround me on every side.
"And now, my dearly beloved mother, my confession becomes a painful one,
even when made to thee. It may be because this atmosphere of deceit and
adulation in which I am living has already contaminated me, or, perhaps,
because I shrink in such dismay from the thought that all this praise
and all these demonstrations of affection are due solely to my wealth,
but I can scarcely credit so much baseness and deceitfulness, nor can I
quite believe that I am so utterly unattractive, or that I am wholly
incapable of inspiring any sincere and disinterested affection.
"And you see, my dearest mother, I no longer know what to think, not
only of other people, but of myself. These doubts, this continual
suspicion and distrust, are intolerable. I try in vain to devise some
means of discovering the truth. From whom can I expect an honest reply?
"Nor is this all. Several recent events have rendered my situation still
more trying.
"You shall judge of it.
"M. de Maillefort's sarcastic allusions in regard to the perfections
which I must necessarily possess in my character of heiress have
doubtless been repeated to my guardian and his wife by Mlle. Helena, or
else some other event, of which I am ignorant, has induced those around
me to disclose projects of which I had no previous knowledge or even
suspicion, and which have increased my distrust and uneasiness a
thousandfold."
Mademoiselle was here interrupted in her writing by two cautious raps at
her door.
Surprised and almost terrified, as in her preoccupation she had
forgotten the subject of her late conversation with her governess, the
orphan asked, in trembling tones:
"Who is it?"
"I, mademoiselle," replied Madame Laine's voice.
"Come in," said Ernestine, remembering now.
"What is the matter?" she asked, as her governess entered.
"I have some good news for mademoiselle. My hands are all bloody, you
see, but that doesn't matter."
"I see," cried Ernestine, greatly alarmed. "What has happened? How did
you hurt yourself so? Here, take this handkerchief and stanch the
blood."
"Oh, it's but a mere scratch, mademoiselle," replied the governess,
heroically. "In your service, I would brave death itself."
This exaggeration cooled Mlle. de Beaumesnil's compassion very
considerably, and she replied:
"I believe in your courageous devotion, of course, but pray bind up your
hand."
"If mademoiselle desires it, of course, but this scratch is of no
consequence, for the door is open, mademoiselle. I succeeded in prying
out the staples of the padlock, and in removing an iron bar that also
secured the door, which opens into the street exactly as I supposed."
"You may be sure that I shall reward you, my dear Laine, for this--"
"Oh, do not speak of rewarding me, I implore you, mademoiselle. Am I not
more than paid in the pleasure of serving you? But mademoiselle will
excuse me, I hope, for coming back contrary to her orders, but I was so
delighted to have succeeded."
"On the contrary I am very grateful for the zeal you have manifested. So
you think we can count upon carrying out our plans to-morrow?"
"There isn't the slightest doubt of that, now, mademoiselle."
"Then have a very simple white dress ready for me to wear to-morrow
evening, and as soon as it is dark you and I will go to Madame
Herbaut's. And once more let me remind you that I shall expect you to
exercise the greatest caution."
"Mademoiselle need have no anxiety on that account. Has mademoiselle any
further orders?"
"No, I only desire to thank you again for your zeal."
"Then I will bid mademoiselle good night."
"Good night, my dear Laine."
The governess left the room and Mlle. de Beaumesnil resumed her
writing.