The Deacon Smelled Sulfur.
Old Deacon Morse was as good at repartee as any man living. One time he
was taking a vessel down New York Harbor. Another vessel collided with
his, and the two drifted on together.
"Cut loose! Cut loose!" called the other captain.
Morse couldn't, but demanded that the other do so. This the stranger
wouldn't do, but he warned Morse that if he didn't they would soon reach
Hell Gate.
"Well," replied Morse, "you won't stop at the gate if you don't cut loose
from us in about two minutes!"
Laying Up Treasure for Heaven.
Francis Baylies, an historian of note, on returning from a church meeting
one Thanksgiving Day, met Nicholas Tillinghast, one of the most humorous
and also one of the most eloquent of the members of the Bristol County
bar, in the sitting-room of an hotel.
In the course of the conversation which ensued Mr. Baylies said to Mr.
Tillinghast:
"I have deposited a ten-cent piece in the contribution-box, to be placed
on interest until I reach heaven."
Mr. Tillinghast replied:
"Ah, yes! That will amount to a very large sum before you will be admitted
there."
Tact of Disraeli.
When it was more expedient to evade a question than to give a definite
answer, Disraeli could do so with consummate tact. A story illustrative of
this is told in the "Memoirs of Mary Duchess of Teck."
The great statesman was very fond of the princess, and admired her grasp
of political problems; but he never allowed himself to be charmed into
telling cabinet secrets.
One evening at dinner, during a crisis in foreign affairs, Princess Mary,
who was puzzled at the inaction of the government, turned to him and said:
"What are we waiting for, Mr. Disraeli?"
The prime minister paused for a moment to take up the menu, and, looking
at the princess, gravely replied:
"Mutton and potatoes, madam."