A Few Pointed Lines Written by Sharp-Witted People Have Been Effective in
Taking the Conceit Out of Their Correspondents.
Almost telegraphic brevity distinguishes some of the most famous letters
that have ever been written. A writer in _Notes and Queries_ gives a sheaf
of these laconic messages, with such editorial illumination as is
necessary to make their meaning clear.
According to Campbell's "Lives of the Admirals," Sir George Walton was
sent in pursuit of a Spanish squadron, and reported what took place in the
following dispatch to the admiral in command:
SIR--I have taken or destroyed all the
Spanish ships as per margin. Yours,
etc., G. WALTON.
Horace Walpole, in one of his papers in "The World," praises the following
letter, written by Lady Pembroke in the reign of Charles II. I quote from
memory, but think that Lady Pembroke wrote to Lord Arlington, who had
insisted on her allowing Sir Joseph Williamson to be returned member for
her borough of Appleby:
SIR--I have been bullied by a usurper,
I have been neglected by a court, but I will
not be dictated to by a subject. Your man
sha'n't stand. ANNE PEMBROKE.
I have some memory of a story that some person wrote to the first Duke of
Wellington, threatening to publish certain letters of his, and that he
replied:
DEAR JULIA--Publish and be damned.
Yours, WELLINGTON.
When Lord John Russell announced the breaking up of Earl Grey's cabinet
on May 27, 1834, Mr. Stanley, colonial secretary, wrote the following to
Sir James Graham, first lord of the Admiralty:
MY DEAR G.--Johnny has upset the coach.
Yours, etc.
Sir Walter Scott said that the most pointed letter he knew was the answer
of Lord Macdonald to the head of the Glengarry family:
MY DEAR GLENGARRY--As soon as you
can prove yourself to be _my chief_, I shall
be ready to acknowledge you; in the meantime,
I am _yours_, MACDONALD.
The following is quoted as Francis Jeffrey's wicked reply to a begging
letter:
Sir--I have received your letter of
6th inst., soliciting a contribution in behalf
of the funds of ----. I have very
great pleasure in subscribing [with this
word the writer contrived to end the first
page, and then continued overleaf] myself,
Yours faithfully,