STERNE: _Tristram Shandy._

“That’s what comes of falling in love, Neighbor Niels. Poor Guth Stersen

would not be stretched out yonder on that great black slab, like a

starfish forgotten by the tide, if she had kept her mind on mending her

father’s boat and patching his nets. Saint Usuph, the fisher, console

our old friend in his affliction!”

“And her lover,” added a shrill, tremulous voice, “Gill Stadt, that fine

young man beside her, would not be there now, if instead of making love

to Guth and seeking his luck in those accursed Roeraas mines, he had

stayed at home and rocked his little brother’s cradle, under the smoky

cross-beams of his mother’s hut.”

Neighbor Niels, whom the first speaker addressed, interrupted: “Your

memory is growing old along with yourself, Mother Olly. Gill never had a

brother, and that makes poor Widow Stadt’s grief all the harder to bear,

for her home is now left utterly desolate; if she looks up to heaven for

consolation, she sees nought but her old roof, where still hangs the

cradle of her son, grown to be a tall young man, and dead.”

“Poor mother!” replied old Olly, “it was the young man’s own fault. Why

should he go to Roeraas to be a miner?”

“I do believe,” said Niels, “that those infernal mines rob us of a man

for every escalin’s[3] worth of copper which we get out of them. What do

you think, Father Braal?”

“Miners are fools,” replied the fisherman. “If he would live, the fish

should not leave the water. Man should not enter the bowels of the

earth.”

“But,” asked a young man in the crowd, “how if Gill Stadt had to work in

the mines to win his sweetheart?”

“A man should never risk his life,” interrupted Olly, “for affections

which are far from being worth a life, or filling it. A pretty

wedding-bed Gill earned for his Guth!”

“So then that young woman,” inquired a curious bystander, “drowned

herself in despair at the death of this young man?”

“Who says so?” loudly exclaimed a soldier, pushing his way through the

crowd. “That young girl, whom I knew well, was indeed engaged to marry a

young miner who was lately crushed by falling rocks in the underground

tunnels of Storwaadsgrube, near Roeraas; but she was also the sweetheart

of one of my mates, and as she was going to Munkholm secretly, day

before yesterday, to celebrate with her lover the death of her

betrothed, her boat capsized on a reef, and she was drowned.”

A confused sound of voices arose: “Impossible, master soldier,” cried

the old women. The young ones were silent; and Neighbor Niels

maliciously reminded fisher Braal of his serious statement: “That’s what

comes of falling in love!”

The soldier was about to lose his temper with his opponents; he had

already called them “old witches from the cave of Quiragoth,” and they

were not disposed to bear so grave an insult patiently, when a sharp and

imperious voice, crying “Silence, silence, you old fools!” put an end to

the dispute. All was still, as when the sudden crow of a cock is heard

amid the cackling of the hens.

Before relating the rest of the scene, it may be well to describe the

spot where it occurred. It was--as the reader has doubtless guessed--one

of those gloomy structures which public pity and social forethought

devote to unknown corpses, the last asylum of the dead, whose lives were

usually sad ones; where the careless spectator, the surly or kindly

observer gather, and friends often meet tearful relatives, whom long and

unendurable anxiety has robbed of all but one sad hope. At the period

now remote, and in the uncivilized region to which I have carried my

reader, there had as yet been no attempt, as in our cities of gold and

mud, to make these resting-places into ingeniously forbidding or

elegantly funereal edifices. Daylight did not fall through tomb-shaped

openings, into artistically sculptured vaults, upon beds which seem as

if the guardian of the place were anxious to leave the dead some of the

conveniences of life, and the pillow seems arranged for sleep. If the

keeper’s door were left ajar, the eye, wearied with gazing upon hideous,

naked corpses, had not as now the pleasure of resting upon elegant

furniture and happy children. Death was there in all its deformity, in

all its horror; and there was no attempt to deck its fleshless skeleton

with ribbons and gewgaws.

The room in which our actors stood was spacious and dark, which made it

seem still larger; it was lighted only by a broad, low door opening upon

the port of Throndhjem, and a rough hole in the ceiling, through which a

dull, white light fell, mingled with rain, hail, or snow, according to

the weather, upon the corpses lying directly under it. The room was

divided by an iron railing, breast-high, running across it from side to

side. The public entered the outer portion through the low door; in the

inner part were six long black granite slabs, arranged abreast and

parallel to each other. A small side door served to admit the keeper and

his assistant to either section, their rooms occupying the rear of the

building, close to the water. The miner and his betrothed occupied two

granite beds; decomposition had already begun its work upon the young

woman’s body, showing itself in large blue and purple spots running

along her limbs on the line of the blood-vessels. Gill’s features were

stern and set; but his body was so horribly mutilated that it was

impossible to judge whether his beauty were really so great as old Olly

declared.

It was before these disfigured remains, in the midst of the mute crowd,

that the conversation which we have faithfully interpreted, began.

A tall, withered old man, sitting with folded arms and bent head upon a

broken stool in the darkest corner of the room, had apparently paid no

heed until the moment when he rose suddenly, exclaiming, “Silence,

silence, you old fools!” and seized the soldier by the arm.

All were hushed; the soldier turned and broke into a burst of laughter

at the sight of his strange interrupter, whose pale face, thin greasy

locks, long fingers, and complete costume of reindeer leather amply

justified this mirthful reception. But a clamor arose from the crowd of

women, for a moment confounded: “It is the keeper of the

Spladgest![4]--That infernal doorkeeper to the dead!--That diabolical

Spiagudry!--That accursed sorcerer!”

“Silence, you old fools, silence! If this be the witches’ Sabbath,

hasten away and find your broomsticks; if you don’t, they’ll fly off

without you. Let this worthy descendant of the god Thor alone.”

Then Spiagudry, striving to assume a gracious expression, addressed the

soldier: “You say, my good fellow, that this wretched woman--”

“Old rascal!” muttered Olly; “yes, we are all ‘wretched women,’ to him,

because our bodies, if they fall into his claws, only bring him thirty

escalins’ reward, while he gets forty for the paltry carcass of a man.”

“Silence, old women!” repeated Spiagudry. “In truth, these daughters of

the Devil are like their kettles; when they wax warm, they must needs

sing. Tell me, my valiant king of the sword, your comrade, this Guth’s

lover, will doubtless kill himself in despair at her loss, won’t he?”

Here burst forth the long-repressed storm. “Do you hear the

miscreant,--the old Pagan!” cried twenty shrill, discordant voices. “He

would fain see one less man living, for the sake of the forty escalins

that a dead body brings him.”

“And what if I would?” replied the keeper of the Spladgest. “Doesn’t our

gracious king and master, Christian V.,--may Saint Hospitius bless

him!--declare himself the natural guardian of all miners, so that when

they die he may enrich his royal treasury with their paltry leavings?”

“You honor the king,” answered fisher Braal, “by comparing the royal

treasury to the strong-box of your charnel-house, and him to yourself,

Neighbor Spiagudry.”

“Neighbor, indeed!” said the keeper, shocked by such familiarity. “Your

neighbor! say rather your host! since it may easily chance some day, my

dear boat-dweller, that I shall have to lend you one of my six stone

beds for a week. Besides,” he added, with a laugh, “if I spoke of that

soldier’s death, it was merely from a desire to see the perpetuation of

the custom of suicide for the sake of those great and tragic passions

which ladies are wont to inspire.”

“Well, you tall corpse and keeper of corpses,” said the soldier, “what

are you after, with your amiable grimace, which looks so much like the

last smile of a man who has been hanged?”

“Capital, my valiant fellow!” replied Spiagudry. “I always felt that

there was more wit beneath the helmet of Constable Thurn, who conquered

the Devil with his sword and his tongue, than under the mitre of Bishop

Isleif, who wrote the history of Iceland, or the square cap of Professor

Shoenning, who described our cathedral.”

“In that case, if you will take my advice, my old bag of leather, you

will give up the revenues of the charnel-house, and go and sell yourself

to the viceroy’s museum of curiosities at Bergen. I swear to you, by

Belphegor, that they pay their weight in gold there for rare beasts; but

say, what do you want with me?”

“When the bodies brought here are found in the water, we have to give

half the reward to the fisherman. I was going to ask you, therefore,

illustrious heir to Constable Thurn, if you would persuade your

unfortunate comrade not to drown himself, but to choose some other mode

of death; it can’t matter much to him, and he would not wish to wrong

the unhappy Christian who must entertain his corpse, if the loss of Guth

should really drive him to that act of despair.”

“You are quite mistaken, my charitable and hospitable friend. My comrade

will not have the pleasure of occupying an apartment in your tempting

tavern with its six beds. Don’t you suppose he has already consoled

himself with another Valkyria for the death of that girl? He had long

been tired of your Guth, by my beard!”

At these words, the storm, which Spiagudry had for a moment drawn upon

his own head, again burst more furiously than ever upon the luckless

soldier.

“What, miserable scamp!” shrieked the old women; “is that the way you

forget us? And yet we love such good-for-nothings!”

The young girls still kept silence. Some of them even thought--greatly

against their will, of course--that this graceless fellow was very

good-looking.

“Oh, ho!” said the soldier; “has the witches’ Sabbath come round again?

Beelzebub’s punishment is frightful indeed if he be condemned to hear

such choruses once a week!”

No one can say how this fresh squall would have ended, if general

attention had not at this moment been utterly absorbed by a noise from

without. The uproar increased steadily, and presently a swarm of little

ragged boys entered the Spladgest, tumultuously shouting and crowding

about a covered bier carried by two men.

“Where does that come from?” the keeper asked the bearers.

“From Urchtal Sands.”

“Oglypiglap!” shouted Spiagudry.

One of the side doors opened, a little man of Lappish race, dressed in

leather, entered, and signed to the bearers to follow him. Spiagudry

accompanied them, and the door closed before the curious crowd had time

to guess, by the length of the body on the bier, whether it were a man

or a woman.

This subject still occupied all their thoughts, when Spiagudry and his

assistant reappeared in the second compartment, carrying the corpse of a

man, which they placed upon one of the granite couches.

“It’s a long time since I’ve handled such handsome clothes,” said

Oglypiglap; then, shaking his head and standing on tiptoe, he hung above

the dead man the elegant uniform of a captain in the army. The corpse’s

head was disfigured, and his limbs were covered with blood; the keeper

sprinkled the body several times from an old broken pail.

“By Saint Beelzebub!” cried the soldier, “it is an officer of my

regiment. Let me see; can it be Captain Bollar,--from grief at his

uncle’s death? Bah! he is the heir. Baron Randmer? He lost his estate at

cards yesterday, but he will win it back to-morrow, with his adversary’s

castle. Can it be Captain Lory, whose dog was drowned, or Paymaster

Stunck, whose wife was unfaithful to him? But, really, I don’t see why

he should blow out his brains for that!”

The crowd steadily increased. Just at this instant, a young man who was

crossing the wharf, seeing the mob of people, dismounted from his horse,

handed the bridle to the servant behind him, and entered the Spladgest.

He wore a simple travelling dress, was armed with a sword, and wrapped

in a large green cloak; a black plume, fastened to his hat by a diamond

buckle, fell over his noble face and waved to and fro upon his lofty

brow, shaded by chestnut hair; his boots and spurs, soiled with mud,

showed that he had come a long distance.

As he entered, a short, thick-set man, also wrapped in a cloak and

hiding his hands in huge gloves, replied to the soldier.

“And who told you that he killed himself? That man no more committed

suicide, I’ll be bound, than the roof of your cathedral set itself on

fire.”

As the double-edged sword makes two wounds, this phrase gave birth to

two answers.

“Our cathedral!” said Niels; “it is covered with copper now. It was that

miserable Hans who set it on fire to make work for the miners, one of

whom was his favorite Gill Stadt, whom you see lying yonder.”

“What the devil!” cried the soldier, in his turn; “do you dare tell me,

the second musketeer in the Munkholm garrison, that that man did not

blow out his brains!”

“He was murdered,” coldly replied the little fellow.

“Just listen to the oracle! Go along with you. Your little gray eyes can

see no better than your hands do under the big gloves with which you

cover them in the middle of the summer.”

The little man’s eyes flashed.

“Soldier, pray to your patron saint that these hands may never leave

their mark upon your face!”

“Oh!--enough of this!” cried the soldier, in a rage. Then, pausing

suddenly, he said: “No, there must be no word of a duel before dead

men.”

The little man growled a few words in a foreign tongue, and vanished.

A voice cried out: “He was found on Urchtal Sands.”

“On Urchtal Sands?” said the soldier; “Captain Dispolsen was to land

there this morning, from Copenhagen.”

“Captain Dispolsen has not yet reached Munkholm,” said another voice.

“They say that Hans of Iceland haunts those sands just now,” added a

fourth.

“Then it is possible that this may be the captain,” said the soldier,

“if Hans was the murderer; for we all know that the Icelander murders in

so devilish a fashion that his victims often seem to be suicides.”

“What sort of man is this Hans?” asked some one.

“He is a giant,” said one.

“He is a dwarf,” said another.

“Has nobody seen him, then?” put in a voice.

“Those who see him for the first time, see him for the last time also.”

“Hush!” said old Olly; “they say there are but three persons who ever

exchanged human speech with him,--that reprobate of a Spiagudry, Widow

Stadt, and--but he had a sad life and a sad death--that poor Gill, who

lies yonder. Hush!”

“Hush!” was repeated on all sides.

“Now,” suddenly exclaimed the soldier, “I am sure that this is indeed

Captain Dispolsen. I recognize the steel chain which our prisoner, old

Schumacker, gave him when he went away.”

The young man with the black plume broke the silence abruptly: “Are you

sure it is Captain Dispolsen?”

“Sure, by the merits of Saint Beelzebub!” said the soldier.

The young man left the room hurriedly.

“Get me a boat for Munkholm,” he said to his servant.

“But, the general, sir?”

“Take the horses to him. I will follow to-morrow. Am I my own master, or

not? Come, night is falling, and I am in haste. A boat!”

The servant obeyed, and for some time stood watching his young master as

he moved away from the shore.

Hans of Iceland, Vol. 1 of 2 · 第 26 / 64 题