MARGARET OVERHEARS A CONVERSATION
Margaret's parents had died when she was in her infancy, and she had been
brought up entirely by her grandfather. As far as she knew, she had no
other relatives. Certainly he had never spoken to her of any. When she
grew old enough to begin lessons, Mr. Anstruther had engaged an excellent
governess to reside at Greystones, and at her hands Margaret had received
a careful, sound education. No nun in a convent ever led a more regular
existence than Margaret had led from the time she was five years old
until a few weeks before this story opens. Certainly no girl was ever
expected to lead so quiet and monotonous an existence.
Every morning, winter and summer alike, she entered the schoolroom
punctually at seven and practised on the piano for an hour and a half. At
half-past eight she and Miss Bidwell breakfasted together. Nine to eleven
were lesson hours. Eleven to one were exercise hours. At 1.30 they dined.
The afternoon programme varied according to the seasons and the weather.
In summer they worked from three to five and went out afterwards, while
in winter the order of things was reversed and they went out first and
worked afterwards. After tea Margaret practised again, prepared her
lessons for the next day, and went to bed at nine.
And that had been her daily life year in year out until a few months
before the day on which this story opens. And then, greatly to Mr.
Anstruther's annoyance, an event had occurred which upset all his
carefully laid plans. Miss Bidwell, whose sight had never been very
strong, was threatened with cataract in both eyes, and acting on the
advice of a clever little doctor who had lately come to the
neighbourhood, she had decided to go to her mother's relatives in France
and to take a complete rest until her eyes should be ready for operation.
The news that Miss Bidwell's sight had been failing for some time came as
no surprise to her pupil, who had perceived for some time past that her
governess could scarcely see to read even with the aid of her strongest
glasses, and Margaret, without allowing her to know that she knew--for
she divined that Miss Bidwell had striven desperately to conceal the
truth not only from those around her, but from herself too--had done the
little that lay in her power to save her governess's eyes as much as
possible.
But to Mr. Anstruther the news came as a very disagreeable shock. He had
not intended to part with Miss Bidwell for at least three or four years
to come. Other people might perhaps have considered that Margaret was
already growing too old to be subject to the control of a governess, and
that if her character were to be properly developed she must now be
allowed to think and act independently. But if any one had ventured to
express these sentiments to Mr. Anstruther, they would have been
requested, not over politely, to mind their own business. He had grown
used to Miss Bidwell, and he disliked the idea either of replacing her by
a stranger, or of letting Margaret do without another governess.
Margaret parted with her governess with very real regret. Although
through all the years they had been together their relations had always
been those of mistress and pupil only, never that of friends and
companions, still in losing her Margaret at least lost the company of
another fellow-being. For Mr. Anstruther had decided not to engage
another governess, at any rate not until he saw if he could possibly do
without one. His dislike for his fellow creatures became intensified
every year, and had it not been that his occupation of farming took him
out of doors all day long and brought him into contact with all sorts and
conditions of people, he would long ago have turned into the recluse that
he wished his granddaughter to be.
For the existence that he planned for her now was one of the most
extraordinary that a girl of her age was ever called upon to live. She
was, he decreed, to go on exactly as if her governess was still with her,
to read for so many hours a day, to practise for so many more, and to
take regular exercise in the garden. For out of the confines of the
grounds she was now strictly forbidden to go. But as Margaret listened to
the rules that were being laid down for her she never dreamed of
questioning them, but in the shy voice that was habitual to her in her
grandfather's presence promised obedience to them. And as she left the
room her grandfather looked after her with an expression of great
satisfaction on his face. But the satisfaction was for himself, and not
for her. How well he had brought her up! How wise his treatment of her
had been! What a commendable difference between her manner to him, and
her mother's! He had vowed that he would bring up Margaret's daughter to
respect and obey him in the smallest particular, and he had accomplished
the task he had set himself.
It had, after all, been quite an easy one. The great secret was, he
reflected to maintain an attitude of judicious firmness, and never to
relax it. Not once had Margaret ever ventured to argue with him or to
question his right to order her every action. And so very well pleased
with himself Mr. Anstruther dismissed her from his mind and went about
his own affairs. It had been a matter of some surprise to Margaret to
find how soon she not only got accustomed to Miss Bidwell's absence, but
ceased to miss her. Naturally she felt a little lonely at first, and it
was rather strange to look up from her work and not see the thin, angular
form of her governess seated at the head of the table with a book, at the
pages of which she had latterly, at least, not looked much, open before
her, nor to hear the ceaseless click click of her steel knitting needles.
But as soon as the feeling of loneliness and the sense of almost
oppressive silence that now surrounded her wore off Margaret grew to like
her hours of solitary study. The hours that she found most irksome were
those that she was compelled to spend taking exercise in the grounds. For
though she liked being out in the open air, she soon grew heartily tired
of walking about under the shade of the densely growing elms, and she
missed the long country walks with Miss Bidwell to which she had been
accustomed.
Gradually the monotony and exceeding loneliness of her life began to tell
upon her spirits, her appetite failed, she grew paler and thinner, and
her step as she roamed aimlessly about the grounds grew daily more
languid.
But still no thought of rebelling against the queer existence she was
leading entered her mind, for as yet she had scarcely realised how
unhappy she was. It was an intensely hot summer, and she thought that the
unusual heat was responsible for the lack of interest she felt in all her
usual occupations, and for the tired feeling which made her now, instead
of obeying her grandfather's orders to take exercise, deliberately seek
out the shadiest spot among the trees and sit quietly there the whole
afternoon. It was probably the very first deliberate act of disobedience
of which she had ever of set purpose been guilty in her life, and it was
to have consequences of which she little dreamed.
One afternoon, some two or three weeks before the day on which her
grandfather was to come so unexpectedly upon her, she was sitting there
half asleep when the unusual sound of footsteps and voices in the field
below her startled her into complete wakefulness.
Though she was close to the hedge that divided the fields from the woods,
she was so well screened from observation, not only by the hedge but by a
clump of intervening young trees, that she was able to rise to her feet
and look at the speakers as they passed without fear of detection.
For strangers to be trespassing in her grandfather's fields was an event
rare enough to excite her curiosity, and she was eager to know who the
intrepid people might be.
Somewhat to her surprise, she recognised in one of them the clergyman of
the church five miles distant, to which they always drove every Sunday
morning. It was not their own parish church, for with the rector of that
Mr. Anstruther had quarrelled many years ago, not for any particular
reason except that he was the clergyman of the parish and therefore to be
kept at a distance.
He was walking with a middle-aged little man of kindly aspect in whom
Margaret recognised Dr. Knowles, the doctor who had lately bought old Dr.
Carter's practice, and who had advised Miss Bidwell to go abroad for her
eyesight.
Though nothing was further from Margaret's mind than any intention of
eaves-dropping, she could not help overhearing every word that was spoken
as they passed the spot where she was standing. Mr. Summers, the
clergyman, was speaking.
"Yes, poor girl. It is a great shame. Her grandfather keeps her cooped up
in that gloomy old place and never lets her see a soul. She has passed a
lonely, unloved youth, for I am sure her grandfather has never shown her
any affection, and I am equally sure that her dry stick of a governess
did not, and, poor child, she has never been allowed to associate with
any one else. She has never been allowed to have a friend or to go to a
party or a dance in her life. And she must be nearly eighteen now. It
really is a shame, for youth only comes once."
"What a queer life! What a queer life for a girl to lead!" said the
little doctor in jerky tones. "And is she contented with it?"
"Yes, I think so; but, then, she has no idea what she is missing."
With that reply the two voices passed out of hearing, leaving Margaret
standing motionless under the tree. Of course it was she of whom they
were talking. Was she, then, so greatly to be pitied? The idea was such
a novel one that she could not take it in all at once, but gradually the
truth of what they had said dawned with overwhelming force upon her mind.
"A lonely, unloved youth." Yes, such a youth had certainly been hers. Of
course her grandfather had never loved her. In the bewildered state of
her mind she hardly knew whether she had always realised that fact, or
whether she had taken his affection for her for granted. And he had
allowed her no friends, no parties, no dances. Why had she thus been
brought up aloof from every one? Certainly, as Mr. Summers had said in
reply to Dr. Knowles' question as to whether she was content with her
existence, she was content simply because she knew no better one. She
had not realised before in what a very different fashion other girls were
brought up. But now her eyes were open. That simple phrase, "She does not
know, poor child, what she is missing," had told her more than many
lengthy explanations could have done.
Looking back afterwards on those moments during which she had stood
gazing with unseeing eyes after the departing figures of the two men,
they seemed to her to make a dividing line between all her previous
and her after life. She had thought that the departure of Miss Bidwell
had been an epoch in it; now that sank into comparative insignificance,
for after all her departure had left her, Margaret, unchanged.
But the same could not be said of this event. Hitherto she had blindly,
unquestioningly accepted her grandfather's right to order every detail
of her life, and if she had thought about the matter at all she had
doubtless supposed that his authority over her would always be as
absolute as it was now.
However, it was one thing to discover that her childhood had missed, and
her girlhood was losing, many of the pleasures that should rightly belong
to them, but to remedy this state of affairs was quite another. Although
the idea that her grandfather had been unduly strict with her had been
thus suddenly brought home to her, it did not in the least lesson the
habitual awe in which she stood of him, and as she was obliged to
continue to adhere to the rules he had laid down for her, she began to
wonder whether she had not been happier when she had not dreamed of
questioning his right to exact such unquestioning obedience from her.
"Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise," she quoted to herself,
and what was the good of knowing that her life was so dull if she dared
not do anything to make it less so. Since Miss Bidwell's departure she
had fallen into the habit of talking aloud to herself, for she found that
during her many long, lonely hours the sound even of her own voice made
some companionship for her, and her conversations with Eleanor Humphreys
were now no longer carried on in the recesses of her mind but out loud.
It was a dangerous habit, as she was to discover ere long, especially as
Eleanor had of late, since in fact the seeds of discontent had been sown
in Margaret's mind, not stopped at describing her gaieties to her friend,
but tried to persuade her to break bounds and to come and join in the
revels.
And that was what had brought Margaret into such serious trouble with her
grandfather.