Al-Yazidi, a story of whom I quoted above, was a teacher of Koranic
readings, a grammarian and a philologer, who taught in Baghdad in the
ninth century. He was also a famous satirist; but satire seems to have
been easier then than now. So at least I gather from the epigram which
Al-Yazidi wrote upon Al-Asmai Al-Bahili: _You who pretend to draw your
origin from Asma, tell me how you are connected with that noble race.
Are you not a man whose genealogy, if verified, proves that you descend
from Bahila?_ "This last verse," said Ibn Al-Munajjim, "is one of the
most satirical which have been composed by the later poets."
I need hardly say that Ibn Khallikan, with his eagle eye and fierce
memory, does not let the originality of this pass unchallenged. The
idea, he tells us, is borrowed from the verse in which Hammad Ajrad
attacked Bashshar, the son of Burd. I like its directness. _You call
yourself the son of Burd, though you are the son of another man. Or,
grant that Burd married your mother, who was Burd?_
In sarcasms Al-Yazidi was hard pressed by Abu Obaida, who was a very Mr.
Brown (_vide_ Bret Harte) in being of "so sarcastic a humour that every
one in Basra who had a reputation to maintain was obliged to flatter
him." When dining once with Musa Ibn Ar-Rahman Al-Hilali, one of the
pages spilled some gravy on the skirt of Abu Obaida's cloak.
"Some gravy has fallen on your cloak," said Musa, "but I shall give you
ten others in place of it."
"Nay!" replied Abu Obaida, "do not mind! _Your_ gravy can do no harm."
Another of Al-Yazidi's satirical efforts, which has no forerunner in Ibn
Khallikan's recollection, is this, levelled at another mean
acquaintance; meanness, indeed, being one of the unpardonable
offences--especially in the eyes of poets who lived on patronage: _Be
careful not to lose the friendship of Abu 'l-Mukatil when you approach
to partake of his meal. Breaking his crumpet is for him as bad as
breaking one of his limbs. His guests fast against their will, and
without meaning to obtain the spiritual reward which is granted to
fasting._
Apropos of sarcasm, the Merwanide Omaiyide, who reigned in Spain,
received from Nizar, the sovereign of Egypt, an insulting and satirical
letter, to which he replied in these terms: "You satirize us because you
have heard of us. Had we ever heard of you, we should make you a
reply."
None of the sarcastic wits are more pointed than the blind mawla Abu
'l-Aina (806-96), whose tongue was venomously barbed, and who, like
other blind men, often used his malady as a protection when his satire
had been excessive. Viziers were his favourite butts. Being one day in
the society of one of them, the conversation turned on the history of
the Barmekides and their generosity, on which the vizier said to Abu
'l-Aina, who had just made a high eulogium of that family for their
liberality and bounty: "You have praised them and their qualities too
much; all this is a mere fabrication of book-makers and a fable imagined
by authors."
Abu 'l-Aina immediately replied: "And why then do book-makers not relate
such fables of you, O vizier?"
Again, having gone one day to the door of Said Ibn Makhlad and asked
permission to enter, Abu 'l-Aina was told that the vizier was engaged in
prayer. "Ah!" he exclaimed, "there is a pleasure in novelty."
"I am told," said a khalif to him, "that thou hast an evil tongue."
"Commander of the Faithful!" replied Abu 'l-Aina, "the Almighty himself
has spoken praise and satire," and he then quoted this poem: _If I
praise not the honest man and revile not the sordid, the despicable, and
the base, why should I have the power of saying, "That is good and this
is bad"? And why should God have opened men's ears and my mouth?_
Having one day a dispute with a descendant of the Prophet, his adversary
said to Abu 'l-Aina: "You attack me, and yet you say in your prayers:
'Almighty God! bless Muhammad and the family of Muhammad.'"
"Yes," replied Abu 'l-Aina, "but I add--'who are virtuous and pure.'"
Here is one of the stories which Abu 'l-Aina used to tell. "I was one
day sitting with Abu 'l-Jahm, when a man came in and said to him: 'You
made me a promise, and it depends on your kindness to fulfil it.'
"Abu 'l-Jahm answered that he did not recollect it, and the other
replied: 'If you do not recollect it, 'tis because the persons like me
to whom you make promises are numerous; and if I remember it, 'tis
because the persons like you to whom I may confidently address a
request are few.'
"'Well said! Blessings on your father!' exclaimed Abu 'l-Jahm, and the
promise was immediately fulfilled."
That blind men should be self-protective is of course, natural, and the
East has always been rich in them. "The learned Muwaffak Ad-Din
Muzaffar, the blind poet of Egypt, having gone to visit Al-Kadi As-Said
Ibn Sana Al-Mulk, the latter said to him: 'Learned scholar! I have
composed the first hemistich of a verse, but cannot finish it, although
it has occupied my mind for some days.'
"Muzaffar asked to hear what he had composed, and the other recited as
follows: _The whiteness of my beard proceeds from the blackness of her
ringlets--_
"On hearing these words, Muzaffar replied that he had found their
completion, and recited as follows:--_even as the flame with which I
burn for her acquired its intensity from her pomegranate-flower [her
rosy cheeks]_.
"As-Said approved of the addition, and commenced another verse on the
same model; but Muzaffar said to himself: 'I must rise and be off, or
else he will make the entire piece at the expense of my wits.'"