We done dretful well last year. The crops come in first-rate, and Josiah
had five or six heads of cattle to turn off at a big price. He felt
well, and he proposed to me that I should have a sewin' machine. That
man,--though he don't coo at me so frequent as he probable would if he
had more encouragement in it, is attached to me with a devotedness that
is firm and almost cast-iron, and says he, almost tenderly: "Samantha, I
will get you a sewin' machine."
Says I, "Josiah, I have got a couple of sewin' machines by me that have
run pretty well for upwards of--well it haint necessary to go into
particulars, but they have run for considerable of a spell anyway"--says
I, "I can git along without another one, though no doubt it would be
handy to have round."
But Josiah hung onto that machine. And then he up and said he was goin'
to buy a organ. Thomas Jefferson wanted one too. They both seemed sot
onto that organ. Tirzah Ann took hern with her of course when she was
married, and Josiah said it seemed so awful lonesome without any Tirzah
Ann or any music, that it seemed almost as if two girls had married out
of the family instead of one. He said money couldn't buy us another
Tirzah Ann, but it would buy us a new organ, and he was determined to
have one. He said it would be so handy for her to play on when she came
home, and for other company. And then Thomas J. can play quite well; he
can play any tune, almost, with one hand, and he sings first-rate, too.
He and Tirzah Ann used to sing together a sight; he sings bearatone, and
she sulfireno--that is what they call it. They git up so many
new-fangled names nowadays, that I think it is most a wonder that I
don't make a slip once in a while and git things wrong. I should, if I
hadn't got a mind like a ox for strength.
But as I said, Josiah was fairly sot on that machine and organ, and I
thought I'd let him have his way. So it got out that we was goin' to buy
a sewin' machine, and a organ. Well, we made up our minds on Friday,
pretty late in the afternoon, and on Monday forenoon I was a washin',
when I heard a knock at the front door, and I wrung my hands out of the
water and went and opened it. A slick lookin' feller stood there, and I
invited him in and sot him a chair.
"I hear you are talkin' about buyin' a musical instrument," says he.
"No," says I, "we are goin' to buy a organ."
"Well," says he, "I want to advise you, not that I have any interest in
it at all, only I don't want to see you so imposed upon. It fairly makes
me mad to see a Methodist imposed upon; I lean towards that perswasion
myself. Organs are liable to fall to pieces any minute. There haint no
dependence on 'em at all, the insides of 'em are liable to break out at
any time. If you have any regard for your own welfare and safety, you
will buy a piano. Not that I have any interest in advising you, only my
devotion to the cause of Right; pianos never wear out."
"Where should we git one?" says I, for I didn't want Josiah to throw
away his property.
"Well," says he, "as it happens, I guess I have got one out here in the
wagon. I believe I threw one into the bottom of the wagon this mornin',
as I was a comin' down by here on business. I am glad now I did, for it
always makes me feel ugly to see a Methodist imposed upon."
Josiah came into the house in a few minutes, and I told him about it,
and says I:
"How lucky it is Josiah, that we found out about organs before it was
too late."
But Josiah asked the price, and said he wasn't goin' to pay out no three
hundred dollars, for he wasn't able. But the man asked if we was willin'
to have it brought into the house for a spell--we could do as we was a
mind to about buyin' it; and of course we couldn't refuse, so Josiah
most broke his back a liftin' it in, and they set it up in the parlor,
and after dinner the man went away.
Josiah bathed his back with linement, for he had strained it bad a
liftin' that piano, and I had jest got back to my washin' again (I had
had to put it away to git dinner) when I heerd a knockin' again to the
front door, and I pulled down my dress sleeves and went and opened it,
and there stood a tall, slim feller; and the kitchen bein' all cluttered
up I opened the parlor door and asked him in there, and the minute he
catched sight of that piano, he jest lifted up both hands, and says he:
"You haint got one of them here!"
He looked so horrified that it skairt me, and says I in almost tremblin'
tones:
"What is the matter with 'em?" And I added in a cheerful tone, "we haint
bought it."
He looked more cheerful too as I said it, and says he "You may be
thankful enough that you haint. There haint no music in 'em at all; hear
that," says he, goin' up and strikin' the very top note. It did sound
flat enough.
Says I, "There must be more music in it than that, though I haint no
judge at all."
"Well, hear that, then," and he went and struck the very bottom note.
"You see just what it is, from top to bottom. But it haint its total
lack of music that makes me despise pianos so, it is because they are so
dangerous."
"Dangerous?" says I.
"Yes, in thunder storms, you see;" says he, liftin' up the cover, "here
it is all wire, enough for fifty lightnin' rods--draw the lightnin'
right into the room. Awful dangerous! No money would tempt me to have
one in my house with my wife and daughter. I shouldn't sleep a wink
thinkin' I had exposed 'em to such danger."
"Good land!" says I, "I never thought on it before."
"Well, now you _have_ thought of it, you see plainly that a organ is
jest what you need. They are full of music, safe, healthy and don't cost
half so much."