CHAPTER XXIV

THE DESERTED COTTON-MILL IN HILBECK GLEN

Hey the green ribbon! we kneeled beside it,

We parted the grasses dewy and sheen;

Drop over drop, there filtered and slided

A tiny bright beck that trickled between.

Tinkle, tinkle, sweetly it sung to us,

Light was our talk as of faery bells--

Faery wedding-bells faintly rung to us

Down in their fortunate parallels.--Jean Ingelow.

Richard came home for a few days towards the end of the long vacation.

He was looking pale and thin in spite of his enforced cheerfulness, and

it was easy to see that the inaction of the last few weeks had only

induced restlessness, and a strong desire for hard, grinding work, as a

sedative for mental unrest. His brotherly congratulations to Polly were

mixed with secret amusement.

'So you are "Heriot's choice," are you, Polly?' he said, taking her hand

kindly, and looking at the happy, blushing face.

'Are you glad, Richard?' she whispered, shyly.

'I can hardly tell,' he returned, with a curiously perplexed expression.

'I believe overwhelming surprise was my first sensation on hearing the

wonderful intelligence. I gave such an exclamation that Roy turned quite

pale, and thought something had happened at home, and then he got in a

temper, and carried off the letter to read by himself; he would have it

I was chaffing him.'

Polly pouted half-seriously. 'You are not a bit nice to me, Richard, or

Roy either. Why has he never written to me himself? He must have got my

two letters.'

'You forget; I have never seen anything of him for the last six weeks.

Fancy my finding him off on the tramp when I returned that night,

prosecuting one of his art pilgrimages, as he calls them, to some shrine

of beauty or other. He had not even the grace to apologise for his base

desertion till a week afterwards. However, Frognal without Rex was not

to be borne; so I started off to Cornwall in search of our reading

party, and then got inveigled by Oxenham, who carried me off to

Ilfracombe.'

'It was very wrong of Rex to leave you; he is not generally so

thoughtless,' returned Polly, who had been secretly chagrined by this

neglect on the part of her old favourite. 'Is there no letter from Rex?'

had been a daily question for weeks.

'Rex is a regular Bohemian since he took to wearing a moustache and a

velvet coat. All the Hampstead young ladies are breaking their hearts

over him. He looks so handsome and picturesque; if he would only cut his

hair shorter, and open his sleepy eyes, I should admire him myself.'

Polly sighed.

'I wish he would come home, dear old fellow. I long to see him; but I am

dreadfully angry with him, all the same; he ought to have written to Dr.

Heriot, if not to me. It is disrespectful--unkind--not like Rex at all.'

And Polly's bright eyes swam with tears of genuine resentment.

'I shall tell Roy how you take his unkindness to heart.'

She shook her head.

'It is very ungrateful of him, to say the least of it. You have spoiled

him, Polly.'

'No,' she returned, very gravely. 'Rex is too good to be spoiled: he

must have some reason for his silence. If he had told me he was going to

be married--to--to any of those young ladies you mention, I would have

gone to London to see his wife. I know,' she continued, softly, 'Rex was

fonder of me than he was of Olive and Chriss. I was just like a

favourite sister, and I always felt as though he were my own--own

brother. Why there is nothing that I would not do for Rex.'

'Dear Polly, we all know that; you have been the truest little sister to

him, and to us all.'

'Yes, and then for him to treat me like this--to be silent six whole

weeks. Perhaps he did not like Aunt Milly writing. Perhaps he thought I

ought to have written to him myself; and I have since--two long

letters.'

'Dr. Heriot will be angry with Rex if he sees you fretting.'

'I am not fretting; I never fret,' she returned, indignantly; 'as though

that foolish boy deserved it. I am happier than I can tell you. Oh,

Richard, is he not good?'

And there was no mistaking the sweet earnestness with which she spoke of

her future husband.

'Ah, that he is.'

'How grave you look, Richard! Are you really glad--really and truly, I

mean?'

'Why, Polly, what a little Jesuit you are, diving into people's secret

thoughts in this way.' And there was a shadow of embarrassment in

Richard's cordial manner. 'Of course I am glad that you should be happy,

dear, and not less so that Dr. John's solitary days are over.'

'Yes, but you don't think me worthy of him,' she returned, plaintively,

and yet shrewdly.

'I don't think you really grown up, you mean; you wear long dresses, you

are quite a fashionable young lady now, but to me you always seem little

Polly.'

'Rude boy,' she returned, with a charming pout, 'one would think you had

gray hairs, to listen to you. I can't be so very young or so very silly,

or he would not have chosen me, you know.'

'I suppose you have bewitched him,' returned Richard, smiling; but Polly

refused to hear any more and ran away laughing.

Richard's face clouded over his thoughts when he was left alone.

Whatever they were he kept them locked in his own breast; during the few

days he remained at home, he was observant of all that passed under his

eyes, and there was a deferential tenderness in his manner to Mildred

that somewhat surprised her; but neither to her nor to any other person

did he hint that he was disappointed by Dr. Heriot's choice.

During the first day there had been no mention of Kirkleatham or Ethel

Trelawny, but on the second day Richard had himself broken the ice by

suggesting that Mildred should contrive some errand that should take her

thither, and that in the course of her visit she should mention his

arrival at the vicarage.

'I must think of her, Aunt Milly; we are neither of us ready to undergo

the awkwardness of a first meeting. Perhaps in a few months things may

go on much as usual. I always meant to write to her before my

ordination. Tell her that I shall only be here for a few days--that

Polly wants me to wait over her birthday, but that I have no intention

of intruding on her.'

'Are you so sure she will regard it as an intrusion?' asked Mildred,

quietly.

'There is no need to debate the question,' was the somewhat hasty reply.

'I must not deviate from the rule I have laid down for myself, to see as

little as possible of her until after my ordination.'

'And that will be at Whitsuntide?'

'Yes,' he returned, with an involuntary sigh; 'so, Aunt Milly, you will

promise to go after dinner?'

Mildred promised, but fate was against her. Olive and Polly had driven

over to Appleby with Dr. Heriot, and relays of callers detained her

unwillingly all the afternoon; she saw Richard was secretly chafing, as

he helped her to entertain them with the small talk usual on such

occasions. He was just bidding a cheerful good-bye to Mrs. Heath and her

sister, when horses' hoofs rung on the beck gravel of the courtyard, and

Ethel rode up to the door, followed by her groom.

Mildred grew pale from sympathy when she saw Richard's face, but there

was no help for it now; she saw Ethel start and flush, and then quietly

put aside his assistance, and spring lightly to the ground; but she

looked almost as white as Richard himself when she came into the room,

and not all her dignity could hide that she was trembling.

'I did not know, I thought you were alone,' she faltered, as Mildred

kissed her; but Richard caught the whisper.

'You shall be alone if you wish it,' he returned, trying to speak in his

ordinary manner, but failing miserably.

Poor lad, this unexpected meeting with his idol was too much even for

his endurance. 'I was not prepared for it,' as he said afterwards. He

thought she looked sweeter than ever under the influence of that girlish

embarrassment. He watched her anxiously as she stood still holding

Mildred's hand.

'You shall not be made uncomfortable, Miss Trelawny; it is my fault, not

yours, that I am here. I told Aunt Milly to prevent this awkwardness. I

will go, and then you two will be alone together;' and he was turning to

the door, but Ethel's good heart prompted her to speak, and prevented

months of estrangement.

'Why should you go, Richard? this is your home, not mine; Mildred, ask

him not to do anything so strange--so unkind.'

'But if my presence embarrasses you?' he returned, with an impetuous

Coeur-de-Lion look that made Ethel blush.

She could not answer.

'It will not do so if you sit down and be like yourself,' said Mildred,

pleadingly. She looked at the two young creatures with half-pitying,

half-amused eyes. Richard's outraged boyish dignity and Ethel's yearning

overture of peace to her old favourite--it was beautiful and yet sad to

watch them, she thought. 'Richard, will you ring that bell, please?'

continued the wary woman; 'Ethel has come for her afternoon cup of tea,

and she does not like to be kept waiting. Tell Etta to be quick, and

fetch some of her favourite seed-cake from the dining-room sideboard.'

Mildred's common sense was rarely at fault; to be matter-of-fact at such

a crisis was invaluable. It restored Richard's calmness as nothing else

could have done; it gave him five minutes' grace, during which he hunted

for the cake and his mislaid coolness together; that neither could be

found at once mattered little. Richard's overcharged feelings had safe

vent in scolding Etta and creating commotion and hubbub in the kitchen,

where the young master's behests were laws fashioned after the Mede and

Persian type.

When he re-entered the room Mildred knew she could trust him. He found

Ethel sitting by the open window with her hat and gauntlets off,

enjoying the tea Mildred had provided. He carried the cake gravely to

her, as though it were a mission of importance, and Ethel, who could not

have swallowed a mouthful to save her life, thanked him with a sweet

smile and crumbled the fragments on her plate.

By and by Mildred was called away on business. She obeyed reluctantly

when she saw Ethel's appealing look.

'I shall only be away a few minutes. Give her some more tea, Richard,'

she said as she closed the door.

Richard did as he was bid; but either his hand shook or Ethel's, though

neither owned to the impeachment, and the cup slipped, and some of the

hot liquid was spilt on the blue cloth habit.

The laugh that followed was a very healing one. Richard was on his knees

trying to undo the mischief and blaming himself in no measured terms for

his awkwardness. When he saw the sparkle in Ethel's eye his brow cleared

like magic.

'You are not angry with me, then?'

'Angry with you! What an idea, Richard; such a trifling accident as

that. Why it has not even hurt the cloth.'

'No, but it has scalded your hand; let me look.' And as Ethel tried to

hide it he held it firmly in his own.

'You see it is nothing, hardly a red spot!' but he did not let it go.

'Ethel, will you promise me one thing? No, don't draw your hand away, I

shall say nothing to frighten you. I was a fool just now, but then one

is a fool sometimes when one comes suddenly upon the woman one loves.

But will you promise not to shun me again, not as though you hated me, I

mean?'

'Hated you! For shame, Richard.'

'Well, then, as though you were afraid of me. You disdained my

assistance just now, you would not let me lift you from your horse. How

often have I done so before, and you never repulsed me!'

'You ought not to have noticed it, you ought to have understood,'

returned Ethel, with quivering lips. It was very sweet to be talking to

him again if only he would not encroach on his privilege.

'Then let things be between us as they always have been,' he pleaded. 'I

have done nothing to forfeit your friendship, have I? I have humbled

myself, not you,' with a flavour of bitterness which she could not find

it in her heart to resent. 'Let me see you sitting here sometimes in my

father's house; such a sight will go far to soothe me. Shall it be so,

Ethel?'

'Yes, if you wish it,' she returned, almost humbly.

Her only thought was how she should comfort him. Her womanly eyes read

signs of conflict and suffering in the pale, wan face; when she had

assented, he relinquished her hand with a mute clasp of thanks. He

looked almost himself when Mildred came back, apologising for her long

delay. Had she really been gone half-an-hour--neither of them knew it.

Ethel looked soothed, tranquillised, almost happy, and Richard not

graver than his wont.

Mildred was relieved to find things on this agreeable footing, but she

was not a little surprised when two days afterwards Richard announced

his intention of going up to Kirkleatham, and begged her to accompany

him.

'I will promise not to make a fool of myself again; you shall see how

well I shall behave,' he said, anticipating her remonstrance. 'Don't

raise any objection, please, Aunt Milly. I have thought it all over, and

I believe I am acting for the best,' and of course Richard had his way.

Ethel's varying colour when she met them testified to her surprise, and

for a little while her manner was painfully constrained, but it could

not long remain so. Richard seemed determined that she should be at her

ease with him. He talked well and freely, only avoiding with the nicest

tact any subject that might recall the conversation in the kitchen

garden.

Mildred sat by in secret admiration and wonder; the simple woman could

make nothing of the young diplomatist. That Richard could talk well on

grave subjects was no novelty to her; but never had he proved himself so

eloquent; rather terse than fluent, addicted more to correctness than

wit, he now ranged lightly over a breadth of subjects, touching

gracefully on points on which he knew them to be both interested, with

an admirable choice of words that pleased even Ethel's fastidiousness.

Mildred saw that her attention was first attracted, and then that she

was insensibly drawn to answer him. She seemed less embarrassed, the old

enthusiasm woke. She contradicted him once in her old way, he maintained

his opinion with warm persistence;--they disagreed. They were still in

the height of the argument when Mildred looked at her watch and said

they must be going.

It was Ethel's turn now to proffer hospitality, but to her surprise

Richard quietly refused it. He would come again and bid her good-bye, he

said gravely, holding her hand; he hoped then that Mr. Trelawny would be

at home.

His manner seemed to trouble Ethel. She had stretched out her hand for

her garden-hat. It had always been a custom with her to walk down the

croft with Mildred, but now she apparently changed her mind, for she

replaced it on the peg.

'You are right,' said Richard, quietly, as he watched this little

by-play, 'it is far too hot in the crofts, and to-day Aunt Milly has my

escort. Old customs are sometimes a bore even to a thorough conservative

such as you, Miss Trelawny.'

'I will show you that you are wrong,' returned Ethel, with unusual

warmth, as the broad-brimmed hat was in her hand again. There was a

pin-point of sarcasm under Richard's smooth speech that grazed her

susceptibility.

Perhaps Richard had gained his end, for an odd smile played round his

mouth as he walked beside her. He did not seem to notice that she did

not address him again, but confined her attention to Mildred. Her cheeks

were very pink, possibly from the heat, when she parted from them at the

gate, and Richard got only a very fleeting pressure of the hand.

'Richard, I do not know whether to admire or to be afraid of you,' said

Mildred, half in jest, as they crossed the road.

A flash of intelligence answered her.

'Did I behave well? It is weary work. Aunt Milly; it will make an old

man of me before my time, but she shall reverence me yet,' and his mouth

closed with the old determined look she knew so well.

Dr. Heriot had planned a picnic to Hillbeck in honour of Polly's

eighteenth birthday, the vicarage party and Mr. Marsden being the only

guests.

Hillbeck Wood was a very favourite place of resort on hot summer days.

To-day dinner was to be spread in the deep little glen lying behind an

old disused cotton-mill, a large dilapidated building that Polly always

declared must be haunted, and to please this fancy of hers Dr. Heriot

had once fabricated a weird plot of a story which was so charmingly

terrible, as Chriss phrased it, that the girls declared nothing would

induce them to remain in the glen after sundown.

There was certainly something weird and awesome in the very silence and

neglect of the place, but the glen behind it was a lovely spot. The

hillsides were thickly wooded; through the bottom of the glen ran a

sparkling little beck; the rich colours of the foliage, wearing now the

golden and red livery of autumn, were warm and harmonious; while a

cloudless sky and a soft September air brightened the scene of

enjoyment.

Mildred, who, as usual on such occasions, was doomed to rest and

inaction, amused herself with collecting a specimen of ruta muraria for

her fernery, while Polly and Chriss washed salad in the running stream,

and Richard and Hugh Marsden unpacked the hampers, and Olive spread the

tempting contents on dishes tastefully adorned with leaves and flowers

under Dr. Heriot's supervision, while Mr. Lambert sat by, an amused

spectator of the whole.

There was plenty of innocent gaiety over the little feast. Hugh

Marsden's blunders and large-handed awkwardness were always provocative

of mirth, and he took all in such good part. Polly and Chriss waited on

everybody, and even washed the plates in the beck, Polly tucking up her

fresh blue cambric and showing her little high-heeled shoes as she

tripped over the grass.

When the meal was over the gentlemen seemed inclined to linger in the

pleasant shade; Chriss was coaxing Dr. Heriot for a story, but he was

too lazy to comply, and only roused himself to listen to Richard and

Hugh Marsden, who had got on the subject of clerical work and the

difficulty of contesting northern prejudice.

'Their ignorance and hard-headedness are lamentable,' groaned Hugh;

'dissent has a terrible hold over their mind; but to judge from a few of

the stories Mr. Delaware tells us, things are better than they were.'

'My father met with a curious instance of this crass ignorance on the

part of one of his parishioners about fifteen years ago,' returned

Richard. 'I have heard him relate it so often. You remember old W----,

father?'

'I am not likely to forget him,' replied Mr. Lambert, smiling. 'It was a

very pitiful case to my mind, though one cannot forbear a smile at the

quaintness of his notion. Heriot has often heard me refer to it.'

'We must have it for Marsden's benefit then.'

'I think Richard was right in saying that it was about fifteen years ago

that I was called to minister to an old man in his eighty-sixth year,

who had been blind from his birth, I believe, and was then on his

deathbed. I read to him, prayed for him, and talked to him; but though

his lips moved I did not seem to gain his attention. At last, in

despair, I said good-afternoon, and rose to go, but he suddenly caught

hold of me.

'"Stop ye, parson," he said; "stop ye a bit, an' just hear me say my

prayers, will ye?" I thought it a singular request, but I remained, and

he began repeating the Lord's Prayer, the Creed, the collect "Lighten

our darkness," and finished up with the quaint old couplet beginning--

"Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John,

Bless the bed that I lie on,"

and after he had finished he said triumphantly, "Hoo d'ye think I've

deean?" I said, "em gay weel. D'ye think I'll pass?"

'Of course I said something appropriate in reply; but his attention

seemed wholly fixed on the fact that he could say his prayers correctly,

as he had been probably taught in his early childhood, and when I had

noticed his lips moving he had been conning the prayers over to himself

before repeating them for my judgment.'[3]

[Footnote 3: Taken from fact.]

A lugubrious shake of the head was Hugh's only answer.

'I grant you such a state of things seems almost incredible in our

enlightened nineteenth century,' continued Mr. Lambert, 'but many of my

older brethren have curious stories to tell of their parishioners, all

of them rather amusing than otherwise. Your predecessor, Heriot--Dr.

Bailey--had a rare stock of racy anecdotes, with which he used to

entertain us on winter evenings over a glass of hot whisky toddy.'

'To which he was slightly too much addicted,' observed Dr. Heriot.

'Well, well, we all have our faults,' replied the vicar, charitably. 'We

will not speak against poor Bailey, who was in the main a downright

honest fellow, though he was not without his weakness. Betha used to

remonstrate with him sometimes, but it was no use; he said he was too

old to break off a habit. I don't think, Heriot, he ever went to great

lengths.'

'Possibly not,' was the somewhat dry reply, 'but we are willing to be

amused by the old doctor's reminiscences.'

'You know the old Westmorland custom for giving names; well, some forty

years ago George Bailey, then a young doctor new to practice, was sent

for to visit a man named John Atkinson, who lived in a house at the head

of Swale-dale.

'Having reached the place, he knocked at the door, and asked if John

Atkinson lived there.

'"Nay," says the woman, "we've naebody ev that nyam hereaboots."

'"What?" says Bailey, "nobody of the name in the dale?"

'"Nyah," was the reply, made with the usual phlegm and curtness of the

genuine Daleswoman. "There's naebody ev that nyam."

'"Well, it is very odd," returned Bailey, in great perplexity. "This

looks like the house to which I was directed. Is there any one ill in

the dale?"

'"Bless me, bairn," exclaimed the woman, "ye'll mean lile Geordie John.

He's my man; en's liggen en theyar," pointing to an inner room, "varra

badly. Ye'll be t'doctor, I warn't. Cum, cum yer ways in en see him. Noo

I think on't, his reet nyam is John Atkinson, byt he allus gas by lile

Geordie John. His fad'r was Geordie, ye kna, an' nobbut a varra lile

chap."'

'Capital!' observed Dr. Heriot, as he chuckled and rubbed his hands over

this story. 'Bailey told it with spirit, I'll be bound. How well you

have mastered the dialect, Mr. Lambert.'

'I made it my study when I first came here. Betha and I found a fund

of amusement in it. Have you ever noticed, Heriot, there is a dry,

heavy sort of wit--a certain richness and appropriateness of

language--employed by some of these Dalesmen, if one severs the grain

from the rough husk?'

'They are not wanting in character or originality certainly, though they

are often as rugged as their own hills. I fancy Bailey had lived among

them till he had grown to regard them as the finest people and the best

society in the world.'

'I should not wonder. I remember he told me once that he was called to a

place in Orton to see an elderly man who was sick. "Well, Betty," he

said to the wife, "how's Willy?"

'"Why," says Betty, "I nau'nt; he's been grumbling for a few days back,

and yesterday he tyak his bed. I thout I'd send for ye. He mebbe git'nt

en oot heat or summat; byt gang ye in and see him." The doctor having

made the necessary examination came out of the sickroom, and Betty

followed him.

'"Noo, doctor, hoo div ye find him?"

'"Well, Betty, he's very bad."

'"Ye dunnot say he's gangen t'dee?"

'"Well," returned Bailey, reluctantly, "I think it is not unlikely; to

my thinking he cannot pull through."

'"Oh, dear me," sighed Betty, "poor auld man. He's ben a varra good man

t'me, en I'll be wa to looes him, byt we mun aw gang when oor time cums.

Ye'll cum agen, doctor, en deeah what ye can for hym. We been lang

t'gither, Willy an me, that ha' we."

'Well, Bailey continued his visits every alternate day, giving no hope,

and on one Monday apprising her that he thought Willy could not last

long.

'Tuesday was market-day at Penrith, and Betty, who thought she would

have everything ready, sent to buy meat for the funeral dinner.

'On Wednesday Bailey pronounced Willy rather fresher, but noticed that

Betty seemed by no means glad; and this went on for two or three visits,

until Betty's patience was quite exhausted, and in answer to the

doctor's opinion that he was fresher than he expected to have seen him

and might live a few days longer, she exclaimed--

'"Hang leet on him! He allus was maist purvurse man I ivver knew, an wad

nobb't du as he wod! Meat'll aw be spoilt this het weather."

'"Never mind," said Bailey, soothingly, "you can buy some more."

'"Buy mair, say ye?" she returned indignantly. "I'll du nowt o't mack;

he mud ha deet when he shapt on't, that mud he, en hed a dinner like

other fok, but noo I'll just put him by wi' a bit breead an cheese."

'As a matter of fact, the meat was spoilt, and had to be buried a day or

two before the old man died.'

Hugh Marsden's look of horror at the conclusion of the vicar's anecdote

was so comical that Dr. Heriot could not conceal his amusement; but at

this moment a singular incident put a check to the conversation.

For the last few minutes Polly had seemed unusually restless, and

directly Mr. Lambert had finished, she communicated in an awe-stricken

whisper that she had distinctly seen the tall shadow of a man lurking

behind the wall of the old cotton-mill, as though watching their party.

'I am sure he is after no good,' continued Polly. 'He looks almost as

tall and shadowy as Leonard in Dr. Heriot's story; and he was crouching

just as Leonard did when the phantom of the headless maiden came up the

glen.'

Of course this little sally was received with shouts of laughter, but as

Polly still persisted in her incredible story, the young men declared

their intention of searching for the mysterious stranger, and as the

girls wished to accompany them, the little party dispersed across the

glen.

Mildred, who was busy with one of the maids in clearing the remnants of

the feast and choosing a place where they should boil their gipsy

kettle, heard every now and then ringing peals of laughter mixed with

odd braying sounds.

Chriss was the first to reappear.

'Oh, Aunt Milly,' she exclaimed breathlessly, 'what do you think Polly's

mysterious Leonard has turned out to be? Nothing more or less than an

old donkey browsing at the head of the glen. Polly will never hear the

last of it.'

'Leonard-du-Bray "In a bed of thistles,"' observed Richard,

mischievously. 'Oh, Polly, what a mare's nest you have made of it.'

Polly looked hot and discomposed; the laugh was against her, and to put

a stop to their teasing, Mildred proposed that they should all go up to

the Fox Tower as they had planned, while she stayed behind with her

brother.

'We will bring you back some of the shield and bladder fern,' was

Chriss's parting promise. Mildred watched them climbing up the wooded

side of the glen, Dr. Heriot and Polly first, hand-in-hand, and Olive

following more slowly with Richard and Hugh Marsden; and then she went

and sat by her brother, and they had one of their long quiet talks, till

he proposed strolling in the direction of the Fox Tower, and left her to

enjoy a solitary half-hour.

The little fire was burning now. Etta, in her picturesque red petticoat

and blue serge dress, was gathering sticks in the thicket; the beck

flowed like a silver thread over the smooth gray stones; the sunset

clouds streaked the sky with amber and violet; the old cotton-mill stood

out gray and silent.

Mildred, who felt strangely restless, had strolled to the mill, and was

trying to detach a delicate spray of ivy frond that was strongly rooted

in the wall, when a footstep behind her made her start, and in another

moment a shadow drew from a projecting angle of the mill itself.

Mildred rose to her feet with a smothered exclamation half of terror and

surprise, and then turned pale with a vague presentiment of trouble. The

figure behind her had a velvet coat and fair moustache, but could the

white haggard face and bloodshot eyes belong to Roy?

'Rex, my dear Roy, were you hiding from us?'

'Hush, Aunt Milly, I don't want them to see me. I only want you.'

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