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The Augustan Reprint Society
CHARLES MACKLIN
_THE COVENT GARDEN_
_THEATRE,_
OR
_Pasquin Turn'd Drawcansir_
(1752)
_INTRODUCTION_
by
JEAN B. KERN
[Decoration]
Publication Number 116
WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY
University of California, Los Angeles
1965
GENERAL EDITORS
Earl R. Miner, _University of California, Los Angeles_
Maximillian E. Novak, _University of California, Los Angeles_
Lawrence Clark Powell, _Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library_
ADVISORY EDITORS
Richard C. Boys, _University of Michigan_
John Butt, _University of Edinburgh_
James L. Clifford, _Columbia University_
Ralph Cohen, _University of California, Los Angeles_
Vinton A. Dearing, _University of California, Los Angeles_
Arthur Friedman, _University of Chicago_
Louis A. Landa, _Princeton University_
Samuel H. Monk, _University of Minnesota_
Everett T. Moore, _University of California, Los Angeles_
James Sutherland, _University College, London_
H. T. Swedenberg, Jr., _University of California, Los Angeles_
CORRESPONDING SECRETARY
Edna C. Davis, _Clark Memorial Library_
EDITORS' NOTE
Although of considerable interest in itself, this hitherto unpublished
manuscript play is reprinted in facsimile in response to requests by
members of the Society for a manuscript facsimile of use in graduate
seminars.
INTRODUCTION
The Larpent collection of the Huntington Library contains the
manuscript copy of Charles Macklin's COVENT GARDEN THEATRE, OR
PASQUIN TURN'D DRAWCANSIR in two acts (Larpent 96) which is here
reproduced in facsimile.[1] It is an interesting example of that
mid-eighteenth-century phenomenon, the afterpiece, from a period when
not only Shakespearean stock productions but new plays as well were
accompanied by such farcical appendages.[2] This particular afterpiece
is worth reproducing not only for its catalogue of the social foibles of
the age, but as an illustration of satirical writing for the stage at a
time when dramatic taste often wavered toward the sentimental. It
appears that it has not been previously printed.
As an actor Charles Macklin is remembered for his Scottish dress in the
role of Macbeth, for his realistic portrayal of Shylock, for his quarrel
with Garrick in 1743, and for his private lectures on acting at the
Piazza in Covent Garden. He is less well known than he deserves as a
dramatist although there has been a recent revival of interest in his
plays stimulated by a biography by William W. Appleton, _Charles
Macklin: An Actor's Life_ (Harvard University Press, 1960) and evidenced
in "A Critical Study of the Extant Plays of Charles Macklin" by Robert
R. Findlay (PhD. Thesis at the State University of Iowa, 1963). Appleton
mentions that Macklin lost books and manuscripts in a shipwreck in 1771
(p. 150) and that play manuscripts may also have disappeared in the sale
of his books and papers at the end of his long life at the turn of the
eighteenth century. It is possible that more of Macklin's work may come
to light, like _The Fortune Hunters_ which appeared in the National
Library in Dublin. Until a complete critical edition of Macklin's plays
appears, making possible better assessment of his merit, such farces as
THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE will have to stand as an example of one genre
of eighteenth-century theatrical productions.
There are many reasons why Macklin's plays are less well known than is
warranted by his personality and acting ability during his long
association with the British stage. His first play, _King Henry VII_,
a tragedy hastily put together to capitalize on the anti-Jacobite
sentiment following the invasion attempt of 1745, was an ambitious
failure. After this discouragement, he also had trouble with the
Licenser so that his comedy _Man of the World_ was not presented until
1781, twenty years after a portion of it first appeared at Covent
Garden.[3] Nor were censorship and a bad start his only problems as a
playwright. He also, and apparently with good reason,[4] was fearful
of piracy and was thus reluctant to have his plays printed. His
eighteenth-century biographer Kirkman mentions Macklin's threats to "put
the law against every offender of it, respecting my property, in full
force."[5] His biographers also mention his practice of giving each
actor only his own role at rehearsals while keeping the manuscript copy
of the whole play under lock, but this did not prevent whole acts from
being printed in such magazines as _The Court Miscellany_, where Act I
of _Love-a-la-Mode_ was printed as it was taken down in shorthand by the
famous shorthand expert Joseph Gurney. If Macklin had not been required
to submit copies of his plays to the Licenser, it is doubtful that as
much would have survived. The contentious Macklin had reason for
zealously guarding his manuscripts, with such provincial theatre
managers as Tate Wilkinson at York always anxious for new plays.
Finally, Macklin's best work as a playwright was satiric enough and
topical enough to be short-lived in popularity even in his own day. Sir
Pertinax McSychophant in the _Man of the World_ is a good character,
especially in his famous speech on the necessity of bowing to get ahead
in the world, as is Sir Archy MacSarcasm in _Love-a-la-Mode_, but the
latter produced _A Scotsman's Remarks on the Farce Love-a-la Mode_ in
the _Gentleman's Magazine_ for June, 1760, and Macklin's additional
troubles with the Licenser would indicate that his satiric barbs were
not always well received.
Larpent manuscript 96, here reproduced, bears the application of John
Rich to the Duke of Grafton, dated 1752, for the Licenser's permission
and an inscription to William Chetwynd, Esq. (spelled "Chetwyne" on
the MS.). It was extensively advertised before its one and only
performance in the Covent Garden Theatre on April 8, 1752. The
advertisement printed in _The London Stage_, Pt. 4, I, 305, is taken
from the _General Advertiser_ and warns the public not to confuse this
farce with Charles Woodward's _A Lick at the Town_ of 1751. The fact
that the sub-title PASQUIN TURN'D DRAWCANSIR carried an obvious allusion
to Fielding's pseudonym Alexander Drawcansir in his _Covent Garden
Journal_, and the fact that the _Covent Garden Journal_ carried the
advertisement for Macklin's play on March 14, 17, 21 and 28, 1752,
before the single performance on April 8, 1752, might suggest that
Fielding may possibly have seen the script before the play was produced.
Esther M. Raushenbush in an article on "Charles Macklin's Lost Play
about Henry Fielding," _MLN_, LI (1936), 505-14, points out that Macklin
was not attacking Fielding in this play as W. L. Cross and G. E. Jensen
had earlier suggested, but instead was trading on the popularity of
Fielding's _Enquiry into the Causes of the Late Increase of Robbers_,
which had appeared in January, 1751. Macklin's farce makes clear
reference to Section III of Fielding's pamphlet near the end of THE
COVENT GARDEN THEATRE where Pasquin delivers a lecture against Sharpers.
The advertisement for Macklin's play in Fielding's _Covent Garden
Journal_ is the same as that printed in _The London Stage_ from the
_General Advertiser_:
a New Dramatic Satire ... written on the model of the Comedies of
Aristophanes or like Pasquinades of the Italian Theatre in Paris:
with the Characters of the People after the manner of Greek
drama--The parts of the Pit, the Boxes, the Galleries, the Stage,
and the Town to be performed By Themselves for their Diversion. The
Parts of several dull, disorderly characters in and about St. James,
to be performed by Certain Persons, for Example: and the part of
Pasquin Drawcansir, to be performed by his Censorial Highness, for
his Interest.[6] The Satire to be introduced by an Oration and to
conclude by a Peroration. Both to be spoken from the Rostrum in the
manner of certain Orators by Signior Pasquin.
No cast remains, but presumably from references in the play itself,
Macklin took the role of Pasquin who with the aid of Marforio calls in
review characters representing all the foibles of the age. There is no
plot. Act I simply ends while Pasquin and the Spectators retire to the
Green Room to await the appearance of those characters whom Marforio has
called in review.
In this ambitious attempt to list all the follies of his age, Macklin
employs the popular technique of eighteenth-century plays such as
Fielding's _The Author's Farce_--the play appears to be writing itself
on the stage. He displays all the tricks of satire--exaggeratedly ironic
praise, allegorical names (Miss Giggle, Miss Brilliant, Miss Bashfull),
stock characters of satire (Pasquin, Marforio, Hydra, Drawcansir), lists
of offenses, parodies of polite conversation reminiscent of Swift, and
constant topical references: to the Robin Hood Society to which little
Bob Smart belongs; to Mother Midnight; to playwrights (Fielding, Foote,
Woodward, Cibber, and himself); to contemporary theatrical taste
(Pantomime, Delaval's _Othello_ which Macklin himself had coached,
Harlequins, Masquerades, and various theatrical tricks); to Critics
(Bonnell Thornton, who later reviewed this afterpiece, is called
Termagent since Thornton's pseudonym was "Roxana Termagent"; John Hill
is referred to as the "Inspector" of the _Daily Advertiser_; and
Fielding is called Sir Alexander Drawcansir). The farce abounds in these
topical references, from Pasquin's opening invocation to Lucian,
"O thou, who first explored and dared to laugh at Public Folly," to its
closing lecture against Sharpers like Count Hunt Bubble where the
obvious allusions to Section III on Gaming of Fielding's _Enquiry_ ...
are applauded by Solomon Common Sense, the voice of Reason.
This vast parade of fashions and foibles with frequent thinly veiled
references to individuals may explain the numerous Licenser's marks on
the manuscript. If all the marked lines were omitted, it is small wonder
that this afterpiece was performed only once. Dramatic satire, without
plot, is difficult to sustain even in farce, and if the marked lines
were cut, there was little left to recommend the play. It is not
surprizing that the Licenser objected to such passages as the
description of Miss Giggle's "nudities," but his frequent objections
to topical and personal references took all the bite out of Macklin's
satire.
Like Macklin's other early farces, THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE contains
proto-characters for his later plays. Sir Roger Ringwood, a "five-bottle
man," who rode twenty miles from a "red-hot Fox Chace" to appear before
Pasquin, is an early study for Macklin's later hard-drinking,
fox-hunting Squire Groom in _Love-a-la Mode_ or Lord Lumbercourt in _The
Man of the World_. But Macklin's usual good ear for dialogue is missing
from this play, nor is any character except his own as Pasquin followed
long enough to make his characteristic speech identifiable. Since plot
is absent too, all that remains is the wealth of topical and personal
satire which in itself is interesting to the historian of the
mid-eighteenth-century theatre. If THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE is studied
along with his other two unpublished afterpieces in the Larpent
collection (A WILL AND NO WILL, OR A BONE FOR THE LAWYERS and THE NEW
PLAY CRITICIZ'D, OR THE PLAGUE OF ENVY), Macklin's skill at satiric
comedy after his initial abortive attempt at tragedy can be seen as
developing steadily toward such later full-length comedies as the better
known _Love-a-la Mode_ (1759) and _The Man of the World_ (1764). His
recognition that tragedy was not his forte and his self-criticism in THE
COVENT GARDEN THEATRE, where he exhorts the audience to "explode" him
when he is dull, reveal the comic spirit operative in his sometimes
cantankerous personality. It is that strain, here seen in genesis, which
develops full-fledged in his later comedies.
A word should be added about the Dramatis Personae for the play. It does
not contain the Stage-Keeper, who speaks only once, the Servant whose
single word is accompanied by the stage direction "This Servant is to be
on from the beginning," nor the Romp (probably the Prompter, who speaks
twice off-stage during the play). Hic and Haec Scriblerus, however,
although he is listed in the cast of characters, speaks only once, and
his entrance on stage is never indicated.
The "naked lady," Lady Lucy Loveit, whose entrance causes so much
excitement, is described as appearing in a Pett-en-l'air, which
eighteenth-century costume books portray as a short, loose shift!
_Coe College_
NOTES TO THE INTRODUCTION
[Footnote 1: The author of this introduction is indebted to the
Henry E. Huntington Library, San Marino, California, both for a
research Fellowship in the summer of 1963 and for permission to
reproduce this Macklin play as well as two others by the same
author, A WILL AND NO WILL, OR A BONE FOR THE LAWYERS (Larpent 58)
and THE NEW PLAY CRITICIS'D, OR THE PLAGUE OF ENVY (Larpent 64).]
[Footnote 2: George W. Stone, _The London Stage_, Part 4, I,
cxlv.]
[Footnote 3: Dougald MacMillan, "Censorship in the Case of
Macklin's _The Man of the World_," _Huntington Library Quarterly_,
No. 10 (1936), pp. 79-101.]
[Footnote 4: W. Matthews, "The Piracies of Macklin's _Love-a-la
Mode_," _Review of English Studies_, X (1934), 311-18.]
[Footnote 5: James T. Kirkman, _Memoirs of the Life of Charles
Macklin, Esq._ (1799), II, 33. Kirkman quotes Macklin's letters
both to his solicitor and to James Whitley of Leicester to stop
all such pirated performances (II, 37-41).]
[Footnote 6: John Rich's application to the Licenser indicates
that "Mr. Macklin designs to have [the play] performed at his
Benefit Night...."]
1752
Covent Garden Theatre.
or
Pasquin turn'd Drawcansir
A
Dramatic Satyr.
Sr.
This peice ent'd Covt. Garden Theatre
or Pasquin turn'd Drawcansir Mr.
Macklin designs to have perform'd on his
Benefit Night wth the permission of his Grace
the Duke of Grafton.
To William Chetwyne Esq.
I am
Sr. yr humble Srvt
Jno Rich
Dramatis Personae
Men.
Pasquin.
Marforio.
Sir Eternal Grinn.
Sir Conjecture Possitive.
Sir Roger Ringwood.
Bob: Smart.
Solomon Common Sense
Count Hunt bubble.
Sr. Iohn Ketch.
Hic & haec Scriblerus.
Hydra.
Women.
Lady Lucy Lovit
Miss Diana Singlelife
Miss Brilliant.
Miss Giggle.
Miss Bashful.
Scene. Covent Garden Theatre.
Time an hour.
Covent Garden Theatre
Or
Pasquin turn'd Drawcansir.
Scene. The Stage, with a Rostrum on it.
Enter Pasquin. Goes in the Rostrum.
Pas:
Nobles,-- Commons-- Beaux, Bells-- Wits, Critics,-- Bards & Bardlins,--
and ye my very good Friends of Common Sense,-- tho' last, not least in
Merit,-- Greeting, and Patience to you all. I Seignior Pasquin, of the
Quorum of Parnassus. Drawcansir and Censor of Great Britain, by my Bills
and Advertisements, have Summoned You together this Night to hear a
Public Examination of several Public Nusances, My Scene I have laid in
the Common Theatre, which is my usual place of exposing those Knaves and
Fools, who despise the Moral-- and those who are too great or too Subtle
for the common Law, and as my whole design is new, I hope You, my
Gracious Patrons, will not be Offended if I Assigne you a part in this
Pasquinade, which is this,-- You are to Act as a Chorus to the whole.
When you behold a Fool pleasantly exposed You are to laugh, if you
please, not else;-- When a Knave is Satyrized with Spirit & Wit, You are
to Applaud;-- and when Pasquin is dull you are to explode, which I
Suppose will be the Chief of Your Part. But, before I Enter upon my
Office of Public Censor, give me leave Gracious Patrons, as is my
Custom, whenever I come, to give a short Sketch of my Character and
Practice. I am known throughout the Globe, have been Caress'd in most of
the Courts, lock'd up in most Prisons in Europe. The dexterity of my
Flattery has introduced me to the Tables of the First Dons in Madrid one
Day, and, the boldness of my Satyr, into the Inquisition next. I have
Revel'd with the Princes of the Blood, and have made all Paris laugh at
my Wit over Night, and, have had the Honour of being in the Bastile the
next Morning. indeed I fared but indifferently in Holland; for, all that
my Flattery, or Satyr, my Ridicule or my Wit, cou'd procure me there,
was an Appartment in the Rasp House. At length, most Gracious and
Indulgent Britons, I am arrived in this Great Metropolis! this Magazine
of all the World! this Nurse of Trade! this Region of Liberty! this
School of Arts and Sciences! This Universal Rendevouz of all the
Monsters produced by wagish Nature & fantastick Art, here Panopticons,
Microcosms, Bears, Badgers, Lyons, Leapords, Tygers, Panthers, Ostriches
and Unicorns,-- Giants, dwarfs, Hermorphradites and Conjurers, Statemen,
Nostrums, Patriots and Corncutters! Quacks, Turks, Enthusiasts, and Fire
Eaters. Mother Midnights, Termagants, Clare Market, and Robin Hood
Orators, Drury Lane Journals, Inspectors, Fools, and Drawcansirs, dayly
Tax the Public by Virtue of the Strangeness the Monstrosity or delicacy
of their Nature or Genius, And hither I am come, knowing you were fond
of Monsters, To exhibit Mine, the newest & I hope the greatest Monster
of them all, for the Public is a common Bank, upon which every Genius
and every Beauty has a right to draw in proportion to their merit, from
a Minister of State and a Maid of Honour, down to a Chien Savant or a
Covent Garden Mistress, To Conclude, my Business in this Land may be
Sum'd up in a few Words; it is to get your money and cure you of Your
Foibles. for wherever Pasquin comes the Public is his Patient; its Folly
his Support. (#bows#) So much by way of Oratia now for Action-- then for
Peroration.
Hollo! Marforio! (#goes to the door#).
Enter Marforio.
Mar:
Here my Fellow Labourer!
Pas:
Have you prepared for general Search?
Mar:
I have-- but let me once more entreat you to alter your design. do not
behave with your usual Sacasm and boldness upon your first appearance.
Strive to gain the favour of the Public by Morality and Panegyrick-- not
by undaunted Satyr--
Pas:
Marforio, We are come to England to make Our Fortune by Our parts, And
you Advise to begin with Morality and Flattery. You might as well Advise
a Soldier to make his Fortune by Cowardice. No Sir, he, who wou'd gain
the Esteem of a Brave, a wise, and a free people, must lash their Vices,
and laugh at their Folies.
Mar:
Well, if you must be Satyrical, confine Your Satyr to the City.
Pas:
No, I'll begin at the Source. the Bourgoie is but the Ape of the
Courtier; Correct the one, the other Mends of Course. I will Scour the
whole Circle of this metropolis; not a tilted Sharpor, or a fair
Libertine, but I will Gibbet in Effigie. Birth Privilege or Quality
shall not be a Sanction to the ignominious Practices of the one, nor
shall Fashion or Beauty be a Skreen for the Folly or Indecency of the
other. Tho' they elude the Laws of Westminster, they shall not escape
the Lash of Parnassus. Here we have no Inquisition, no Bastile, no Rasp
House, to dread. So without a Single hesitation more of Doubt or fear,
let us at once plunge into Action.-- Go you & take a Set of proper
Officers with you and, by a Warrant from Appollo, Search every
disorderly House in Town. Routs, drums, and Assemblies, particularly the
den.
Mar:
It shall be done. (#Exit Marforio#)
Pas:
O thou, who first explored and dar'd to laugh at Public Folly; Sweet
facetious Lucian, Father of Gibes and laughing Ridicule Inspire thy
Votary, teach me this Night to draw a Striking Likeness in which the
free born Britons may behold their Beauties and Deformities as perfectly
as the Inquisitive Eye does its own Image in the faithful Mirror!
Enter Marforio.
Pas:
What brings you back?
Mar:
I met the Town at the Stage door & return'd to give you Notice, that
they may not Surprize you.
Pas:
I am glad they are come, what sort of Humour are they in.
Mar:
Seemingly in a good one. But in roaring Spirits and in high Expectation
of Riot and Fun as they term it.
Hydra. behind the Scenes
Hyd:
Where, where, which way! here, this Way, this way Ladies. this way.
Pas:
Here they come, begone-- leave them to Me-- Proceed you in your Search.
Mar:
I shall. (Exit)
Hyd:
This way, this way Ladies.
Pas:
I'll retire, till I see what humour they are in (#retires#).
Enter Hydra, Miss Brilliant &
Stage-Keeper.
Stage.
Mr. Hydra Servant.
Servt:
Here (this Servt: be on from the begining)
Hyd:
This way Madam.
Brill:
Well do you know Mr. Hydra that I am upon the Tip-toe of Expectation to
know what this Medley can be?
Hyd:
Upon Honour so am I-- quite upon the Rack, but where is the rest of Our
Party? Miss Bashfull here's mighty good Room. Bob Smart won't you hand
miss Bashfull to her Place.
Enter Bob Smart.
Bob.
Upon Honour I cannot prevail upon her to come on. She's Affraid the
Audience will take her for one of the Actresses and hiss her.
Omn:
Ha, ha, ha, ridiculous.
Brill.
Dear Creature come on. Lord I have Sat upon the Stage a hundred times
(#pulls her on#) and if they should take us for some of the Characters
in the Farce. I vow I should be glad of it.
Bob:
Upon Honour so Should I.
Bash.
O Lud, I should instantly faint away if they took me for an Actress.
Brill.
Ha-- ha-- ha-- O Lud I protest there's Sr. Conjecture Possitive. in the
Musick Place.
Bash.
Upon Honour so he is.
Brill.
Sr: Conjecture your Servant, won't you come up to Us? we'll make Room
for You.
#Sr. Conjecture in the Musick Room.#
Sr. Con:
Miss your humble I am afraid so many of us upon the Stage will offend
the Audience.
Brill.
O not at all, It is in the Bills that the Town are to Sit upon the
Stage, & sure Sir Conjecture the World must Allow you to be a Principall
Character amongst Us.
Sr. Con:
The World is very kind Madam. I'll do my Self the Honour to attend you.
Bash.
Pray Miss Brilliant do you know who this Pasquin is?
Brill.
Yes Child; he is one of the Heathen Gods; Iupiter's Grandfather. You may
read a particular Account of him my dear, in Homer, or Milton, or any of
the Greek Poets (#pulls out a Bill of the Farce#) well I vow its a
Whimsicall Bill this; a charming Puff. Lud where's Sir Conjecture?
I suppose he can give us a particular Account of it. for he knows every
thing.
Hyd:
You mean Miss he pretends to know every thing..
Brill.
Why that is as Pleasant to him Mr. Hydra, as if he really had knowledge,
he is a strange conceited Coxcomb to be sure, but entertaining. I wonder
his Character was never introduced upon the Stage, he is a most
ridiculous Fellow.
Enter Sr. Conjecture
Sr. Con:
Ha-- ha-- ha-- who is that dear Miss is a ridiculous Fellow.
Omn:
Ha-- ha-- ha--
Brill:
O Lud, I hope he did not here me (#apart#)
Omn:
Ha-- ha-- ha,
Brill:
Why this-- a-- a-- Macklin, Macklin,-- or Pasquin-- or Drawcansir-- or
who ever it was that writ this Play Bill.
Sr. Con:
It is a Puff, a Puff-- a Puff, a very good Puff upon Honour, like
Woodward's lick at the Town last year. I am afraid tho' All the Wit of
the Author is in the Bill, ha, ha, ha.
Omn:
Ha, ha, ha.
Brill:
Now upon Honour I like it for it's Novelty.
Bob:
And upon Honour I shall damn it for it's Novelty, ev'ry Man in his
Humour as the Play says.
Hyd:
Ha, ha, well said Bob.
Brill:
But the Pit, Boxes and Gallery's doing their parts for their Diversion,
that's what puzzles me.
Hyd:
Lord, that's all a Puff. he'll have some body upon the Stage to
represent them.
Sr. Con:
No, no, no, you are out, you are out, he is to have one of the Actors in
the Pitt; who is to Speak from thence-- See there-- there he is the very
Actor-- You may See him from hence-- he sits next to that very handsome
Gentleman that looks like a Iew's Bastard.
Omn:
Ha, ha, ha-- I see him, I see him.
Sr. Con:
And there's one of the Actresses some where or other in the Front
Boxes;-- She's a New Woman-- very handsome they say, one Miss
Tweezeldon. I wish we cou'd find her out.
Hyd:
I can't see her;-- unless that be She with the White teeth that laughs
so heartily, and is playing with her Fan.
Sr. Conj.
I believe that is She; yes, yes, that is she I am Possitive, for she
blushes at Our Speaking of her, but we shall put her out of
Countenance.-- Ladies we should not let the Audience so far into the
Secret; it will not be fair;-- come let us Step into the Green Room for
a Moment-- I want to have a little Chat with this Pasquin.
Brill:
Miss Bashfull come Child we'll go into the Green Room. were you ever
there.
Bash:
Never Madam.
Brill:
Come then I'll shew it you.
Bash:
O with all my heart-- I long to See the Green Room; I have often heard
of it-- they say the Actresses paint Prodigiously-- I shou'd like of all
things to see them near.
Sr. Con:
Come Ladies if you please I'll Introduce you.
Exeunt.
Enter Pasquin.
Pas:
So there they go,-- the choice Spirits, the Infalibles, who preside at
all Public Diversions; and on whom the Fate of Pasquin this Night
depends.
Hyd:
Where is he, where is this Drawcansir } within
Romp.
This way Sir, on the Stage. }
Hyd:
(#_Running up to him with great Ceremony_#) Seignior Pasquin--
Drawcansir-- Censor of great Britain, your Satyrical Mightiness is
welcome to London. and now Sir, as you and I are to be very intimate to
night, pray, Sir, give me leave to have the Honour of introducing my
self to you.
Pas:
Sir you do me great Honour.
Hyd:
I am Sir, for my Taste in Public Diversions, honoured with the facetious
Appellation of the Town.-- but my real Name is Iack Hydra. for these
many Years, Sir, I have been the North Star of the Pit; by which All
Criticks have Steered their Iudgement: And am Sir at the Head of the
Genii who direct the Public,-- We decide between contending Toasts, pass
Iudgement upon Actors, damn, or encourage Authors; and are the Bucks, my
dear, that I fancy will do for you to Night.
Pas:
Sir of the Infallibility and Power of the Town I am very well apprized;
therefore I have invited you this Night, that my Proceedings may have
the Sanction of your Approbation. for whatever the Town disapproves I
shall my self Condemn.
Hyd:
But harkee Pasquin, prithy what is this Humbug. Bill of Yours about it;
Why how the Devil will you gett off your Promise of the Pit, Boxes, and
Galleries, performing their parts for their Diversion
Pas:
As the Politicious say Sir, you are a little premature in your Question.
Puffing Sr: & the Drama have their Arcana's as well as Love or Politics.
I'll engage the Pit, Boxes, and Galleries perform their parts to a
Numerous and Polite Audience, and with Universal Applause. As soon as
they shall hear the Cue depend upon it you'll hear them Speak.
Hyd:
Well Sir, Preliminaries being Settled I will now individually introduce,
to your censorial Highness, the Genii who are to Sit upon you.
Pas:
Sir, I shall think my self highly honour'd in their Acquaintance.
Omn:
(#within#) Where is he, where is he? what, upon the Stage, ha, ha, ha.
(#as they all press to come on Hydra stops them#)
Hyd:
Nay, nay, softly, softly Gentlemen, & I'll Introduce You all if you will
have Patience! One at a time, You must come on but one at a time.
Omn:
Ay, ay, one at a time, keep back, keep back; pray keep back; We shall
have the Audience hiss us.
Enter Bob Smart.
Hyd:
The first Character I have the Honour to introduce to your Highness is
the facetious Bob Smart, a professed Wit and Critic; no Man knows the
Intrigues of the Court, the Theatres, or the City better, No Man has a
finer Taste in the Belle' Letters, for he is deemed one of the best
Gentlemen Harlequins in Europe, and is an Emminent Orator at the Robin
Hood Society.
Bob:
Yes, Seignior, I am little Bob Smart at your Service; did you ever hear
of me Abroad?
Pas:
Often, often Sir.
Bob:
I thought so; have you got ever a Harlequin in this Farce of yours,
Mr. Drawcansir?
Pas:
No Sir.
Bob:
Then you'll be damn'd Sir. by your Bills I thought there was a Pantomime
in it. I wish you had consulted me, I have wrote two-- And a Parcell of
us intend next Winter to have one of the Theatres, and to treat the
Public with the finest Pantomime that ever was seen, in Immitation of
the Gentlemen Who Play'd Othello.
Omn:
Ha, ha, ha, Bravo, Bravo (_at the side of the Scenes_)
Bob:
Don't you think it will exceed Othello?
Pas:
Certainly Sir; and be a much more rational Entertainment, and what will
Shew your Genius to vast Advantage.
Bob:
I am to do the Harlequin in it, tidi, doldi, doldi, doldi dee, tidi,
doldi, doldi, doldi dee (#Sings & dances the Harlequin.#)
Omn:
Ha, ha, ha, ha, Bravo, Bravo.
Bob:
Do you think that will do Seignior?
Pas:
To Admiration.
Bob:
I practice it three Hours evry Morning, but what is the Nature of this
Farce of yours? have you any Smart, ridiculous, droll Fellows in it ha!
Pas:
No Sir. they are all polite, Sensible, decent, Characters such as yours!
Bob.
Nay Igad if they are like me I'll engage they'll make the public
laugh.-- for by all that's drole I always Set the Coffee House in a Roar
when I am there, he! don't I Hydra.
Hyd:
Why you are the very Yorick of the Age.
Bob:
Igad I have more humour than Foot a thousand times; and I'll lay a
Chaldron of Guineas to a Nutshell that my Pantomime, is a better thing
than his Taste. I think I have some Fun in me demme.
Hyd:
This Mr. Pasquin is the Noted Sr. Conjecture Possitive; a Gentleman who
was never in an Error in his Life,-- consequently cou'd never be
convinced. Sr. he understands Politics and Butterflies, Whale fishing
and Cricket, Fortification and Shittle Cock; Poetry and Wolf Dogs; in
short ev'ry thing, in ev'ry Art and Science, from a Pins Head, to the
Longitude & Philosopher's Stone, better than any Man in Europe.
Sr. Con:
O Fye, Mr. Hydra, you are too lavish, Mr. Pasquin will think you are
imposing upon him.
Hyd:
Sir, he has such Segacity and Penetration that he can decypher a Lady's
Affections, or a Statesman's Heart by a glance of the Eye; and has such
profound critical Knowledge that he can pronounce upon a New Play the
Moment he has heard the first Speech of it.
Sr. Con:
Mr. Hydra is apt to think too well of his Friends Abilities Mr.
Pasquin;-- it is his Foible; But however, I have some knowledge-- I am
not in the common herd of Critics. I can give a tollerable Guess at most
of the Productions in Art and Nature.
Pas:
I believe it Sir; for your Mein, & Countenance, Dress and mannor of
speaking, are an Index of Sagacity and Penetration.
Sr. Con:
I shall give you my Opinion very freely; I know you intend to bring on
some particular Characters from Our End of the Town-- Capt. Crimp--
Match Count Hunt-Bubble & that Knot-- To be sure they are all Sharpers,
and deserve to be exposed-- but, they are what are called Men of
Fashion-- You had better let them alone-- they are a Nest of Hornets--
You may be Stung to death by them-- they'll damn your Piece if they can
do nothing else
Enter Miss Bashfull.
Pas:
Sir, I thank you for your Caution-- I shall Act with Prudence.
Hyd:
This, Sir, is Miss Bashfull, who is under the Tuition of Miss Brilliant,
A Novice at present, but will in Time make a Shining Figure-- For She's
a Genius-- but not ripe yet.
Bas.
I, I, I, I,-- Assure You Mr. Pasquin-- I-- I-- I am mightily pleased
with your Bill about A, a, aristo-- pha-- nes and-- Paskee-- in-- des.
and the Per-- oration, I reckon they are very Comical-- Your hble. Sr.
Pas:
Your Servant Madam.
Bash:
(#To Miss Brilliant#) Well I never Spoke to a Poet before! Lord how
frightened I was.
Enter Miss Brilliant.
Lord Mr. Hydra, I should laugh if the Audience shou'd take me for one of
the Actresses-- but if they do I don't care; for I am resolved I'll See
this Farce if I never See another.
Hyd:
This Mr. Pasquin is the Sprightly Miss Brilliant, a Lady who pants to be
acquainted with you; She is intimate with Mr. Garrick-- is known to the
Fool, corresponds with Sir Alexander Drawcansir, and has writ several
Admired Inspectors.
Brill:
Yes, Mr. Pasquin the World is kind enough to say my Friend Prometheus
has given me a little Flame, a small Portion-- A Spark-- A Ray of the
Etherial-- that's all. I wish you wou'd come and breakfast with me One
Morning. I wou'd shew you a little thing that wou'd please you, it is
but a Trifle;-- but it is neat-- something like Sapho-- a Ia ne se
quoi-- Do you know the Inspector.
Pas:
No Madam.
Brill:
Nor the Fool.
Pas:
No Madam.
Brill.
Nor Sir Alexander.
Pas:
I am not so happy Madam.
Brill.
I'll make them your Friends-- If I see them here to Night, I'll
Introduce them to you. I am intimate with all the Genii in Town. but
prithee what is this Piece of yours? it has excited vast Curiosity. Is
it after the Manner of Aristophanes-- or Fielding-- or Foot's Pieces--
don't tell me-- I won't have my Pleasure Anticipated-- but I assure I
shall applaud-- I am mighty glad I don't know what it is-- It is much
pleasanter to be Surprized be it good or bad.
Enter Sir Eternal Grin.
Hyd:
This, Mr. Pasquin is Sir Eternal Grin. He is what is call'd a good
natured Man & extremely well bred-- So Polite he never frownd in his
Life.
Grin.
No, never in my Life I assure you Mr. Pasquin.
Hyd:
He is an uncommon Favourite with the Ladies, And is never so happy as
when they employ him.
Grin.
No never Sir. ha, ha.
Hyd:
His whole Life is spent in their Service, ev'ry Morning you may See him
running from Play House to Play House, regulating the Box Book in
Consequence of the Commissions he recieved over night for Places. that
done he hurrys away to mill their Chocolate, toast their Muffins, make
their Tea, and wait on them to the Mercers-- In the Evening you may See
him in every part of the Play-House, handing then in and Out, and
between every Act, whisking from Box to Box; whispering News and
Appointments. thence to half a dozen, Drums and Routs; where, after
loosing to them at Cards 'till two in the Morning, he has the happiness
of seeing the dear Creatures to their Chairs, and then goes home as
happy, as an Author after a Successfull first Night.
Grin.
'Tis true Mr. Pasquin as Mr. Hydra says my whole Life is devoted to
the Service of the Fair. therefore I hope there is no Indelicacy, no
severity, Satyr, or Ridicule against them in your Piece. if there be you
must not take it Ill if I head a Party to damn it. ha, ha, ha.
Pas.
Sir, I never Pollute my Productions with Invectives against the Fair.
I am to the best of my poor Abilities, their constant Advocate. he, he,
he, he. (#laughing & Mimicking him#).
Grin.
Why then I am your Friend to perpetuity: as to other Characters you may
take what Liberty you please with them. there is Hydra an Admiral
Character-- he pretends to Taste-- but he is ignorant as-- dear Sir I
can furnish you with a thousand such ridiculous Wretches so that you
need not have recourse to the Ladies.
Pas:
Sir I shall take particular Notice of Your Advice, and follow it
implicitly. and shall be Obliged to you for a few Characters.
Grin.
I'll send them to you depend upon it, your Servant (#turns to the
Company#) this Pasquin is a very Sensible Fellow, and I believe will
Please the Public-- for he minds what the Iudicious say to him.
Enter Sir Roger Ringwood.
Sr. Rog:
Haux, haux, haux! hido, hido. Iack Hydra, yours.-- What is this ancient
Chorus begun yet? this Farce after the manner of Aristotle and all the
Heathen Gods.-- Zounds I am come twenty Miles, from a red-hot-Fox Chace,
on purpose to see it. What the Devil is this Hotch-Potch? a Pantomime,
or a Tragedy? I believe I shall Salute it with a Seranade-- tip it dead
Hollow Haux, haux, dead, dead, dead & damned-- but who is this Pasquin?
Hyd:
If you please I'll introduce you to him.
Sr. Rog:
With all my heart.
Hyd:
Sir this is the famous Sr. Roger Ringwood. a five bottle Man I assure
you; remarkable for his Taste in dramatic Performances, & the loudest
Voice that ever damn'd a Play.
Sr. Rog:
Hem (#Hems very loud#) yes I have pretty good Lungs. hido, hido!
Hyd.
Sr: I have known him fright a whole Box of Ladies into Fits with One
blast of his Voice; drive the whole Party of an Author's Friends out of
the Pit, with the tremendous Courage of a few Oaths; and have frequently
heard him harangue an Audience on a first night with as much Applause as
every Tully did the Romans-- Sir Roger this is ye Celebrated Seignior
Pasquin.
Sr. Rog:
Hum! dam me he looks like Mahomet Charratha going to dance the Rope.
harkee Seignior-- what is this Medley of yours? this Covent Garden
Theatre? Is it in Italian?
Pas:
No, Sir.
Sr. Rog:
In French?
Pas:
Neither Sir.
Sr. Rog:
Neither-- Why what the Devil Language is it in then?
Pas:
English Sir.
Sr. Rog:
English! Zounds I never heard of any English Farce with Greek Chorus's
before. I reckon it is damn'd low Stuff.
Q Scrib:
That it is I'll answer for it before I see it.
Sr. Rog:
Harkee, Seignor, be it Tragedy or Farce I don't Care a Hare's Scut, so
there is but Fun in it. but none of your French Fricassies according to
Rule! haux, haux, my honies; give us a fair Burst of Fun, my dear, &
we'll follow you for fifty nights end-ways, haux, haux, something of the
Antients now-- Something of a-- a-- old Shakespear, or Horace, or Homer,
or Ben Johnson, as they have at Drury Lane. do you hear-- Something that
way & I'll engage it takes. but if it is any of your New Moral Stuff,
according to Rule, I shall Tip it a dead Hollow, (#Hollows#) think of
that and be dull if you dare.
Pas:
Certainly such a Iudicious Patron as Sr. Roger Ringwood, must inspire
both an Author and an Actor.
Enter Miss Diana Single-Life.
Hyd:
This is Miss Diana Single-Life, a maiden Lady of Youth, Beauty,
Chastity, & Erudition: who has read more Romances, Novels, Poems &
Plays, than there are Acts of Parliament in ye English Language.
Diana:
Yes, Mr. Pasquin I may venture to say, with the Strictest Propriety,
that I have read as much as any Lady that has Existed in the Circle of
Literature.-- not the great Daicer excepted: but I hope Mr. Pasquin you
have nothing in your Exhibition that is Shocking to Chastity, no double
Entendres in your Examinations; If you have I shall certainly explode
them. You must know I was once perswaded to go to hear a Tryal for a
Rape-- I vow I blush at the bare mention of the Word-- what wou'd you
have of it-- in short I went;-- but I thought I shou'd have Swoon'd away
upon the Spot, the Tryal was so full of double Entendres, and what the
filthy Lawyers call-- Rems in Re-- --
Omn:
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Pas:
Madam, you may assure your self that the Virgin Particles of Your
Modesty shall never be Agitated by the Amorous Transparancy of Pasquin's
Obscenity. (#Mimicking her#)
Hyd:
Look, look, if the impudent Rogue is not taking the Old Maid Off to her
face, & she does not See it.
Omn:
Ha, ha, ha.
Dia.
Sir, I am your humble--
Pas.
Your devoted--
Dia.
And immense Admirer.
Pas.
And superlatively honour'd humble Servant.
(#She is going to the Company but turns short to Pasquin#)
Dia.
O Mr. Pasquin I had like to have forgot, I must give you a hint, as you
intend to Satyrize the vicious & the ridiculous, that may be useful to
you. that Lady You See there is the greatest Coquet in Town. She is the
Noted Miss Brilliant that is Supposed to be well with his Grace, and the
Old General-- there are several others talk'd of, but the World you know
is censorious-- Upon my Honour I don't believe any Body but his Grace
and the General ever had any Connexion with her.
Pas.
Your Ladyship is very tender in thinking so-- but it is certain Sir
Harry and she were least together in a Bagnio one Masquerade Night.
Dia.
Why, that I knew to be true, Mr. Pasquin, but I did not care to say all
I know, because I wou'd not be thought Censorious-- that Young Lady with
her, Miss Bashful, has a very fine Boy at Nurse, above half a year Old.
but very few Knew any thing of it.-- And she is now going to be marry'd
to the North Country Knight-- It wou'd be pity to speak of it-- She will
pass upon him-- he's a very great Blockhead and She is good enough for
him-- For he was not born in Wedlock himself.
Pas.
They will be a very proper Match, Madam.
Dia.
Most proper, Your humble Servant Seignior.
Pas.
Your Lordships most Obedient.
Hyd.
This, Mr. Pasquin, is a plain honest Citizen. He is called honest
Solomon Common Sense; If you can please him, and make him Your friend,
he can influence a large Number in your Favour; which will be of more
Service to you than the Approbation of all the Pitt-- Maitres, Critics,
and Wou'd-be Witts, from St. James's to White Chappel.
Pas.
I have often heard of the Gentleman, he is in great Esteem amongst Our
best Critics abroad, and I shall make it my particular Study to merit
his Approbation.
Com.
Mr. Pasquin you have it already. I like your manner of exposing the
Follies of the Public extremely. Your making the Theatre the Scene of
Action, and the Censure and Approbation of the Audience the Chorusses to
your Characters upon the Stage, is quite New, and very happily
immagin'd. But now you have made us acquainted with your Characters.
I think the sooner you throw them into Action and come to a Conclusion
the better.
Pas.
Sir your Criticism is very just; And if Marforio is return'd I will
proceed to an Examination of the Culprits and close for this night.
(#Goes to ye side of the Scene#) Promptor, is Marforio come back?
Prom.
No Sir.
Pas.
Gentlemen & Ladies, I cannot possibly proceed till he returns. I reckon
he will be here in about five Minutes; till then I shall take it as a
Favour if you will step into the Green Room; and, in the mean time The
Musick, by way of Act Tune, may play God save Great George Our King, to
keep the Audience in Humour.
Omn:
Admirable! with all Our Hearts. God save the King. (#Ext Singing God
save Great George#)
Act. 2.
Enter. All the Characters.
Pas.
Gentlemen and Ladies, pray take Your Places, and now Marforio make your
return.
Mar.
Why, this being Masquerade Night there are no Drums or Routs. So we have
taken up but a very few-- But, as I return'd me Guide led me to the
other Play House, from whence, by the unanimous Consent of the Audience
I have brought away a disorderly Lady.
Pas.
Produce her.
Marforio brings on Miss Giggle.
Miss Brill.
Miss Giggle as I live, dear Creature what brings you here?
Gig.
This Exotic Gentleman, by an Authority from Apollo, as he says----
Omn.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Pas.
Pray what is the Lady's Offence?
Mar.
Disturbing the Audience.
Pas.
In what manner.
Gig.
Why, I'll tell you Mr. Pasquin. You must know the Play was a Tragedy;
and several of the Audience were ridiculous enough to cry at it-- And so
Sr. Charles Empty and I were diverting Our selves with laughing at the
various Strange Tragical Faces the Animals, exhibited, that's all.
Omn.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Gig.
Upon this the Goths fell a hissing-- & cry'd out-- out-- out--
Sr. Eter.
O the Savages!
Mar.
But there is a further Charge against this Lady; She is said to be a
common Nusance at the Theatres; and that She frequently Sets the whole
House in a Titter to the Confusion of the Actors, & the general
disturbance of the Audience, by constantly exposing her Nudities to
Publick View, contrary to the Ideas of female Modesty, and the Laws of
Decency.
Miss Dy.
O fye Seignior, how can you make use of so indelicate an Expression.
A Lady's Nudities, why, you might as well have said-- I vow it is almost
plain English, I protest such an Expression is enough to get your Farce
hiss'd off the Stage--
Pas.
I am extremely Sorry the Phrase offends your Ladyship, but if you will
Substitute any other.
Dia.
I think Mr. Drawcansir when those Objects are to be expos'd that--
a Lady's Proturberances, her Snow balls, or her Lover's Amusements--
wou'd be much more delicate.
Sr. Rog.
You are very right Madam, and if they happen to be of the immense kind--
Cupid's Kettle Drums Mr. Pasquin, wou'd not be an-- unelegant Phrase,
ha, ha, ha.
Omn.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Pas.
Your Ladyship is quite right, go on with the Charge.
Mar.
That the moment this Lady appears in the Boxes the grave part of the
fair Sex are seen to put their Fans before their Faces; and are heard to
whisper one another-- Lud what an indecent Sight Miss Giggle's Neck is--
It is really quite obscene! I wonder somebody does not tell her of it,
then the Men, they are all in a high Grin; and the Smarts are frequently
heard to roar out-- O Gad-- they are ravishingly White, and smooth as
polish'd Marble!
Dia.
Mr. Pasquin observing upon the whiteness or smoothness of a Lady's
Circumstances is not so Chaste as I cou'd wish.
Pas.
Your Ladyship is in the Right, pray omit those Amorous Exclamations; for
tho' they may be the genuin Language of the Smarts, and may be thought
Wit and Humour amongst themselves, yet upon the Stage such warm
Expressions will be Condemned.
Gig.
Well, Mr. Pasquin, what is Your Highness's Censure upon this dreadfull
Affair. ha, ha, ha.
Pas.
Upon my word Madam, I see no Crime in a desire to please; which I
suppose was Your Ladyship's Motive. on the Contrary, I have always heard
it asserted by the Iudicious in dress, that a fine Woman can never shew
too much--
Gig.
Sir I am infinitely Obliged to you, (#bowing very low#) for your
Compliment.
Dia.
Mr. Pasquin, you will forfeit my good Opinion-- I assure you, if you
encourage such proceedings. This Lady's indecency is remarkable, and,
for public Example, you ought to have Satyriz'd her severely; for there
are a Set of them go about on purpose to Exhibit as the Men Phrase it.
Sr. Rog.
You are very right Madam and if there be not a stop put to it, they may
in time become Adamites, and go without so much as a Fig leaf.
Pas.
It is a very great Offence against the Laws of Decency to be sure Madam,
and in my next Piece I shall give the Coquets no Quarter.-- Your next
Culprit Marfario.
Mar.
I as Extraordinary a ffigure as ever was Exhibited upon a Theatre. here,
Desire that naked Lady to walk in.
Dia.
O Heav'ns! a naked Lady:-- Why sure Mr. Pasquin, you don't mean to
expose such an Object.
Sr. Rog.
Zounds, let her come in.
Omn.
Ay, ay, produce her, produce her.
Sr. Rog.
Lets have her. lets have her! of all things let us have a naked Lady--
If she be-- handsome Pasquin I'll engage your Farce runs a hundred
Nights-- I'll hold a Hogshead of Claret to a Gill, she pleases more than
the Ostrich.
Sr. Et:
Why, Mr. Pasquin, you will frighten all the Ladies out of the Boxes.
I see several of them now that are ready to faint at the bare Idea of a
naked Object.
Pas.
You need not fear Sr. Eternal, there shall be nothing exhibited by me
offensive to decency or Modesty! Pray lett the Lady walk in, she will be
the best Apology for the Expression.
Enter. Lady Lucy Loveit in a Venetian mask, dress'd in a very short
Pet: en l'air Slippers, no Stays, her Neck bare, in a Compleat
Morning Dress of a very high-bread Woman of Quality.
Ly. Lucy.
Iack Hydra (#running up to him#) do you know me? Miss Brilliant Your
Servant-- what you are come to see the New Farce? you never miss a first
Night I think-- well what is to become of poor Pasquin, damn'd I
Suppose.
Brill.
Inevitably Madam unless the Spirit of your Character saves him.
Ly. Lucy.
O your Servant Madam-- Miss Giggle shall wee see you at the Masquerade
to Night?
Gigg.
Certainly-- who can She be? She is very elegantly dress'd.
Hyd.
By all that's whimsical it is Lady Lucy, come, come, unmask, unmask,
there is no veiling the Sun.
Ly. Lucy.
O you fulsome Creature [#she unmasks#] from what Antiquated Romance did
you Steal that vile Compliment.
Omn.
Lady Lucy.
Ly. Lucy.
Ladies your Servant. do you know that I am immensly delighted at meeting
so much good Company here?
Hyd:
You dear Romantic Angel, what brought you hither thus equipt?