“Men
Put forth their sons to seek preferment out.
Some to the studious universities,
For any or for all these exercises.”
“Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about you;
If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you.”
“A rescue! a rescue! Good people bring a rescue or two!”
“Construe me, art thou a gentleman? What is thy name?
Discuss!”
--_Shakspeare_.
HAVING now no one to interfere with me, I determined to read as hard as
my powers, mental and bodily, would allow, so as to give my talents, be
they great or small, full scope, and endeavour to evince my gratitude to
my unknown benefactor in the only manner that lay open to me, _i.e._, by
proving to him that his liberality had not been thrown away. As the
men began to come up, I took care to let it be generally known among my
friends that I was reading steadily and in earnest, with a view of going
out in honours; and when they became convinced that this was the case,
and that whenever I “sported oak” there was positively “no admittance,”
they left me to my fate, as one who, in the words of Lawless,
“having strayed from the paths of virtue and--eh!--what do you call it?
--jollity--had fallen a victim to the vice of mathematics--not a hope
of recovery--a regular case of hydrostatics on the brain--eh! don't you
see?”
Besides the regular college tutor, I secured the assistance of what, in
the slang of the day, we irreverently termed “a coach,” which vehicle,
for the conveyance of heavy learning (from himself to his pupils),
consisted of a gentleman who, but few years older than those whom he
taught, possessed more practical knowledge, and a greater aptitude for
the highest scientific research, than it had ever before been my fate
to meet with combined in any one individual. Under his able tuition I
advanced rapidly, and reading men began to look upon me as a somewhat
formidable rival. Several of my opponents, however, were men of
first-rate talent, whose powers of mind, as I could not for a moment
disguise from myself, ~230~~were infinitely superior to my own, and with
whom my only chance of competing successfully would be by the exercise
of indefatigable perseverance and industry. Daylight, therefore (which
at this season did not make its appearance over early), found me book in
hand, and midnight saw me still seated at my desk--sometimes with a wet
towel bound round my head, to cool the throbbing of my heated brow; at
others, with a tea-pot of strong green tea by my side, to arouse and
stimulate my wearied faculties: conventional specifics, of which, by the
way, I very quickly discovered the fallacy.
A fear of completely knocking up, however, induced me to preserve some
little method in my madness. I laid down a rule to walk for a couple
of hours every day, and thus, although I grew pale and thin, no very
dangerous effects appeared likely to ensue from my exertions.
One evening, about a week before the examinations were to begin, I was
taking my usual constitutional after Hall; and, careless which way I
turned my steps, crossed the river at Moore's, and followed the footpath
which led over the fields to the village of Chesterton. There had been a
cattle fair at some place in the neighbourhood, which had drawn together
a number of disreputable characters, and, in the course of my walk, I
passed two or three parties of rather suspicious-looking men. Having
nothing valuable about me, however, I continued my walk. I had advanced
some half mile or more, when I was roused from my meditations by a cry
of “Thieves I thieves! help! hoy! thieves, I say!” accompanied by the
noise of blows. When these sounds first reached me I was close to a
hedge and stile, across which the footpath led, and from the farther
side of which the cries proceeded. It was growing dark, but there still
remained light enough to distinguish objects at a moderate distance. To
bound over the stile and cast my eyes around was the work of a moment,
nor was I much longer in taking part in an affray which was going on.
The person whose cries I had heard was a stout little man, respectably
dressed, who was defending himself vigorously with what seemed in the
twilight a club, but which turned out eventually to be an umbrella,
against the attacks of a tall, strapping fellow, in a rough frieze
coat, who was endeavouring to wrest his weapon from him. A still more
formidable adversary was, however, approaching in the shape of a second
ruffian, who had armed himself with a thick stake out of the hedge,
and was creeping cautiously up behind the shorter man, with ~231~~the
evident intention of knocking him on the head. I instantly determined to
frustrate his benevolent design, nor was there much time to lose, if
I wished my assistance to prove of much avail. Shouting, therefore, as
well to intimidate the scoundrels as to let the person attacked know
that there was succour at hand, I sprang upon the man who held the
cudgel, and, seizing his uplifted arm, succeeded in averting the
coming blow from the head of the intended victim, who, ignorant of the
impending danger, was making most furious thrusts at his assailant
with the point of his umbrella, a novel mode of attack, which seemed to
perplex and annoy that individual in no small degree.
[Illustration: page231 Fairlegh to the Rescue]
I had, however, but little time allowed me to make observations, as the
fellow with whom I had interfered, as soon as he perceived that he had
only an unarmed man to deal with, appeared determined not to give up
his hopes of plunder without a struggle, and, freeing his wrist by a
powerful jerk, he aimed a blow at me with the bludgeon, which, had it
taken effect, would at once have ended all my anxieties, and
brought this veracious history to an abrupt and untimely conclusion.
Fortunately, however, for “my gentle public” and their humble servant, I
was able, by dodging on one side, to avoid the stroke; and, seeing that
matters had now become serious, I closed with him, and, after a short
but severe struggle, had the satisfaction of depositing him flat on his
back on the green sward. As he fell he dropped his stick, of which I
immediately possessed myself, and, planting my foot upon his chest
to prevent his rising, I turned to see how the other combatants were
getting on. Dame Fortune had not, in this instance, acted up to her
usual principle of favouring the brave, for the hero of the umbrella,
having struggled gallantly for the preservation of his property and
person, had apparently at length been overpowered, and, when I
turned towards him, was lying on the ground, while his assailant was
endeavouring to rifle his pockets, a matter which was rendered anything
but easy of accomplishment by reason of the energetic kicks and
struggles of the fallen warrior. It was clear that if I would not have
the unfortunate little man robbed before my very eyes, I must go to his
assistance. Giving, therefore, my prostrate foe a tap on the head with
the stake, by way of a hint to lie still, I advanced to the rescue with
uplifted weapon. No sooner did the rascal perceive my approach, than,
quitting the fallen man, he sprang up, and, without waiting to be
attacked, took to ~232~~his heels and ran off as fast as his legs would
carry him, an example which his companion, seeing the coast clear,
hastened to emulate.
My first act, as soon as the thieves had departed, was to assist the old
gentleman to rise. As soon as he was on his legs again he shook himself,
as if to ascertain that he was uninjured, and exclaimed:--
“Umph! they're gone, are they? the scoundrels, high time they should, I
think; where's my umbrella? umph! second I've lost this year--just like
me”.
The voice, the manner, but, above all, the emphatic grunts and the
final self-accusing soliloquy, “just like me,” could proceed but from
one person, my old Helmstone acquaintance, Mr. Frampton; though by what
strange chance he should be found wandering by owl-light in a meadow
near Cambridge passed my comprehension to conceive. Feeling secure from
the alteration which had taken place in me since I had last seen him--an
alteration rendered still more complete by my academical costume--that
he would be unable to recognise me, I determined to amuse myself a
little at his expense before I made myself known to him. In pursuance
of this plan I picked up his umbrella and handed it to him, saying in an
assumed voice as I did so, “Here is your umbrella, sir”.
“Thank ye, young man, thank ye, cost five-and-twenty shillings last
Friday week; umph! might have got a cotton one for less than one quarter
the money, that would have done just as well to thump thieves with--a
fool and his money--just like me, umph!”
“I hope you are not injured by your fall, or by the rough treatment you
have been subjected to?” inquired I.
“Umph! injured?” was the reply; “I've got a great bump on the back
of my head, and burst all the buttons off my waistcoat--I don't know
whether you call that being injured; but I can tell you I got away from
the Thugs at Strangleabad without any such injuries: umph!”
“It was fortunate that I happened to come up just when I did,” observed
I.
“Umph! glad you think so,” was the answer; “if that stick had come down
upon your skull, as the blackguard meant it to do, you would not have
found it quite so fortunate, I've a notion. Umph! all the same, I'm much
obliged to you; I might have been robbed and murdered too, if it had
not been for you, young man, and if you'll walk home with me to
the 'Hoop'--there's a name for an inn!--I'll give you a couple of
sovereigns. ~233~~and that's more than you've earned before to-day, I'll
be bound--umph!”
“I shall be delighted to see you safe home, sir, but you will excuse my
declining your pecuniary offer, though I must plead guilty to the charge
of not having earned as much--I believe I might say, in my whole life
before.”
“Umph! I see--a gentleman, eh? and I to offer him money--just like me--a
lord, or a duke, I shouldn't wonder--there are all sorts and sizes of
'em here, they tell me--ask him to dinner. Umph! perhaps you'll
do me the honour of dining with me, young man--my lord, I
mean--mulligatawny--cat smothered in rice, which they call
curry--kibobs, and kickshaws--the cook is not so bad for a white; but
you should go to India if you care about eating--that's the place for
cookery, sir.”
“I shall have much pleasure in accepting your invitation,” replied I,
“if you will allow me to run away directly after dinner: I am reading for
my degree, and time is precious with me just now.”
“Umph! so it should be always. I see, now I come to look at you, you are
one of the cap-and-gown gentlemen.” (Then came an aside--“Cap, indeed!
it's a fool's cap would fit one half of 'em best!”) “Pray, may I ask
what college you belong to, Mr. ----?”
“Legh is my name, sir--Legh of Trinity.”
“Umph! Trinity; just the man I wanted to get hold of. My name's
Frampton, Mr. Lee: they know me well at the India House, sir. When we've
had a bit of dinner, and washed this horrid fog out of our throats with
a few glasses of wine, I shall be glad to ask you a question or two.
Umph!”
“Any information it may be in my power to afford you,” I began----
“That'll do, sir, that'll do,” was the reply. “Perhaps you won't
be quite so ready when you hear what it is I want.” Then, in an
undertone--“Tell me a parcel of lies, most likely; I know how these
young scamps hang by one another, and think it high fun 'to do the
governor,' as they call it. Umph!”
On our arrival at the Hoop we were ushered into one of the best
sitting-rooms the inn afforded, where a blazing fire soon effaced
all traces of the wet-blanket-like fog in which we had been so lately
enveloped. I was shown into a comfortable dressing-room to get ready for
dinner, an opportunity of which I availed myself to render my appearance
as unlike what it had been in former days as circumstances would allow,
before again subjecting myself ~234~~to Mr. Framptqn's scrutiny. For
this purpose, I combed my hair back from my face as far as possible, and
brushed my whiskers--an acquisition of which I had only lately become
possessed--as prominently forward as the growth of the crop permitted. I
poked my shirt-collar entirely out of sight, and tied my black neckcloth
stiffly up under my chin, and finally buttoned my coat, so as to show
off the breadth of my chest and shoulders to the greatest advantage.
Thus accoutred, and drawing myself up to my full height, I hastened to
rejoin Mr. Frampton. My arrangements seemed thoroughly to have answered
their purpose, for he gazed at me without evincing the slightest symptom
of recognition. He shook me by the hand, however, and thanked me more
cordially than he had yet done for the assistance rendered him, and then
rang for dinner. The bill of fare embraced all the Asiatic luxuries he
had enumerated, to which, on the strength of having invited a guest,
sundry European dishes were added; and with appetites sharpened by our
recent adventures, we did full justice to the good cheer that was set
before us.