OF THE PERSECUTION DIRECTED AGAINST HIM BY SUNDRY NEW ENEMIES OR,
AS IT WERE, APOSTLES
And so I dwelt in this place, my body indeed hidden away, but my
fame spreading throughout the whole world, till its echo
reverberated mightily-echo, that fancy of the poet's, which has so
great a voice, and nought beside. My former rivals, seeing that
they themselves were now powerless to do me hurt, stirred up
against me certain new apostles in whom the world put great faith.
One of these (Norbert of Prémontré) took pride in his position as
canon of a regular order; the other (Bernard of Clairvaux) made it
his boast that he had revived the true monastic life. These two ran
hither and yon preaching and shamelessly slandering me in every way
they could, so that in time they succeeded in drawing down on my
head the scorn of many among those having authority, among both the
clergy and the laity. They spread abroad such sinister reports of
my faith as well as of my life that they turned even my best
friends against me, and those who still retained something of their
former regard for me were fain to disguise it in every possible way
by reason of their fear of these two men.
God is my witness that whensoever I learned of the convening of a
new assemblage of the clergy, I believed that it was done for the
express purpose of my condemnation. Stunned by this fear like one
smitten with a thunderbolt, I daily expected to be dragged before
their councils or assemblies as a heretic or one guilty of impiety.
Though I seem to compare a flea with a lion, or an ant with an
elephant, in very truth my rivals persecuted me no less bitterly
than the heretics of old hounded St. Athanasius. Often, God knows,
I sank so deep in despair that I was ready to leave the world of
Christendom and go forth among the heathen, paying them a
stipulated tribute in order that I might live quietly a Christian
life among the enemies of Christ. It seemed to me that such people
might indeed be kindly disposed toward me, particularly as they
would doubtless suspect me of being no good Christian, imputing my
flight to some crime I had committed, and would therefore believe
that I might perhaps be won over to their form of worship.