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Twenty Years of Hus'ling
BY
J. P. JOHNSTON,
AUTHOR OF
"THE AUCTIONEER'S GUIDE."
PORTRAYING THE PECULIAR INCIDENTS, COMIC SITUATIONS, FAILURES AND
SUCCESSES OF A MAN WHO TRIES ALMOST EVERY KIND OF BUSINESS AND FINALLY
WINS.
_FORTY-EIGHT ILLUSTRATIONS_
BY
DENSLOW
THOMPSON & THOMAS
CHICAGO
1902
COPYRIGHT, 1887,
BY J. P. JOHNSTON.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
COPYRIGHT, 1900,
BY THOMPSON & THOMAS.
TO THE "HUS'LERS" OF AMERICA, OR THOSE WHO ARE DETERMINED
IN THEIR EFFORTS TO STRIKE FOR INDEPENDENCE
AND SECURE SUCCESS BY ENERGY, PERSISTENCY,
AND HONESTY OF PURPOSE, I RESPECTFULLY
DEDICATE THIS VOLUME.
MY APOLOGY.
After finishing all that I had intended for publication in my book
entitled "THE AUCTIONEER'S GUIDE," I was advised by a few of my most
intimate friends to add a sketch of my own life to illustrate what had
been set forth in its pages.
This for the sole purpose of stimulating those who may have been for
years "pulling hard against the stream," unable, perhaps, to ascertain
where they properly belong, and possibly on the verge of giving up all
hope, because of failure, after making repeated honest efforts to
succeed.
The sketch when prepared proved of such magnitude that it was deemed
advisable to make it a separate volume. Hence, the "TWENTY YEARS OF
HUS'LING."
J. P. JOHNSTON.
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I.
Date and place of birth--My Mother's second marriage--A kind
step-father--Raising a flock of sheep from a pet lamb--An established
reputation--Anxious to speculate--Frequent combats at home--How I
conquered a foe--What a phrenologist said--A reconciliation--Breaking
steers--Mysterious disappearance of a new fence--My confession--My trip
to New York--The transformation scene--My return home with my fiddle.
CHAPTER II.
My mother wishes me to learn a trade--My burning desire to be a
live-stock dealer--Employed by a deaf drover to do his hearing--How I
amused myself at his expense and misfortune.
CHAPTER III.
Selling and trading off my flock of sheep--Co-partnership formed with a
neighbor boy--Our dissolution--My continuance in business--Collapse of a
chicken deal--Destruction of a wagon load of eggs--Arrested and fined my
last dollar--Arrived home "broke."
CHAPTER IV.
Borrowing money from Mr. Keefer--Buying and selling sheep pelts--How I
succeeded--A co-partnership in the restaurant business--Buying out my
partner--Collapsed--More help from Mr. Keefer--Horses and Patent rights.
CHAPTER V.
Swindled out of a horse and watch--More help from Mr. Keefer--How I got
even in the watch trade--My patent right trip to Michigan and
Indiana--Its results--How a would-be sharper got come up with.
CHAPTER VI.
My new acquaintance and our co-partnership--Three weeks' experience
manufacturing soap--The collapse--How it happened--Broke again--More
help from Mr. Keefer--A trip to Indiana--Selling prize soap with a
circus--Arrested and fined for conducting a gift enterprise--Broke
again.
CHAPTER VII.
Eleven days on a farm--How I fooled the farmer--Arrived at
Chicago--Running a fruit stand--Collapsed--My return home--Broke
again--A lucky trade.
CHAPTER VIII.
Three dollars well invested--Learning telegraphy--Getting in debt--A
full-fledged operator--My first telegraph office--Buying and selling
ducks and frogs while employed as operator--My
resignation--Co-partnership in the jewelry and spectacle business--How
we succeeded--Our dissolution.
CHAPTER IX.
Continuing the jewelry and spectacle business alone--Trading a watch
chain for a horse--Peddling on horseback--Trading jewelry for a harness
and buggy--Selling at wholesale--Retiring from the jewelry business.
CHAPTER X.
Great success as an insurance agent--Sold out--Arrived at
Chicago--Selling government goods--Acquiring dissipated habits--Engaged
to be married--Broke among strangers--How I made a raise--My arrival
home.
CHAPTER XI.
More help from Mr. Keefer--Off to see my girl--Embarked in the
Agricultural-implement business without capital--Married--Sold out--In
the grocery business--Collapsed--Running a billiard hall--Collapsed
again--Newspaper reporter for a mysterious murder.
CHAPTER XII.
More help from Mr. Keefer--Six weeks as a horse-trainer--A mysterious
partner--Collapsed--How I made a raise--Home again--Father to a bouncing
boy.
CHAPTER XIII.
Engaged in the Patent-right business--My trade with Brother Long--The
compromise--My second trade with a deacon--His Sunday honesty and
week-day economy--A new partner--The landlord and his cream
biscuits--How we headed him off--A trade for a balky horse--How we
persuaded him to go--Our final settlement with the landlord.
CHAPTER XIV.
Our trip through Indiana--How I fooled a telegraph operator--The old
landlord sends recipe for cream biscuit--Our return to Ohio--Becoming
agents for a new patent--Our valise stolen--Return to Ft. Wayne--Waiting
six weeks for Patent-right papers--Busted--Staving off the washerwoman
for five weeks--"The Kid" and 'de exchange act'--How the laundry woman
got even with us--The landlord on the borrow--How we borrowed of
him--Replenishing our wardrobe--Paying up the hotel bill.
CHAPTER XV.
Our visit to La Grange, Ind.--Traded for a horse--Followed by an
officer, with a writ of replevin--Putting him on the wrong scent--His
return to the hotel--The horse captured--Broke again--How I made a
raise.
CHAPTER XVI.
Arriving at Elmore, Ohio, stranded--Receiving eight dollars on a Patent
right sale--Dunned in advance by the landlord--Changing hotels--My visit
to Fremont--Meeting Mr. Keefer and borrowing money--Our visit to
Findlay--A big deal--Losing money in wheat--Followed by officers with a
writ of replevin--Outwitting them--A four-mile chase--Hiding our rig in
a cellar.
CHAPTER XVII.
Visiting my family at Elmore--How we fooled a detective--A friend in
need--Arriving at Swanton, Ohio, broke--How I made a raise--Disguising
my horse with a coat of paint--Captured at Toledo--Selling my
horse--Arrived home broke.
CHAPTER XVIII.
Mr. Keefer called from home--My mother refuses me a loan--Peddling
furniture polish on foot--Having my fortune told--My trip through
Michigan--Arrested for selling without license--"It never rains but it
pours"--Collapsed--A good moral--Making a raise.
CHAPTER XIX.
My co-partnership with a Clairvoyant doctor--Our lively trip from
Ypsilanti to Pontiac, Michigan--Poor success--The doctor and his Irish
patient--My prescription for the deaf woman--Collapsed, and in debt for
board.
CHAPTER XX.
Engaged to manage the hotel--The doctor my star boarder--Discharging all
the help--Hiring them over again--The doctor as table waiter--The
landlady and the doctor collide--The arrival of two hus'lers--How I
managed them--The landlady goes visiting--I re-modeled the house--My
chambermaid elopes--Hiring a Dutchman to take her place--Dutchy in
disguise--I fooled the doctor--Dutchy and the Irish shoemaker.
CHAPTER XXI.
The doctor swindled--How we got even--Diamond cut diamond--The doctor
peddling stove-pipe brackets--His first customer--His mishap and
demoralized condition--The doctor and myself invited to a country
dance--He the center of attraction--The doctor in love with a cross-eyed
girl--Engaged to take her home--His plan frustrated--He gets even with
me--We conclude to diet him--The landlady returns--Does not know the
house.
CHAPTER XXII.
Out of a position--Moved to Ann Arbor--How I made a raise--A return to
furniture polish--Selling experience--Hauling coke--My summer clothes in
a snow-storm--A gloomy Christmas--An attack of bilious
fever--Establishing an enforced credit--The photograph I sent my
mother--Engaged as an auctioneer at Toledo, Ohio--My first sale.
CHAPTER XXIII.
A successful auctioneer--Playing a double role--Illustrating an auction
sale.
CHAPTER XXIV.
My employer called home--I continue to hus'le--An auctioneering
co-partnership--Still in a double role--A neat, tidy, quiet
boarding-house--We move to a hotel--A practical joke--Auctioneering for
merchants--Making a political speech--Getting mixed.
CHAPTER XXV.
I continue to sell for merchants--Well prepared for winter--Trading a
shot-gun for a horse and wagon--Auctioneering for myself--Mr. Keefer
needing help--How I responded--Turning my horse out to pasture--Engaged
to sell on commission--How I succeeded--Out of a job--Busted--How I made
a raise--A return to the Incomprehensible--Peddling with a horse and
wagon--Meeting an old friend--Misery likes company--We hus'le
together--Performing a surgical operation--A pugilistic encounter--Our
Wild-west stories--Broke again--A hard customer--Another raise.
CHAPTER XXVI.
Helping a tramp--We dissolve partnership--My auction sale for the
farmer--How I settled with him--I resume the auction business for
myself--My horse trade--I start for Michigan.
CHAPTER XXVII.
Auctioneering at the Michigan State Fair--Three days' co-partnership
with a showman--My partner's family on exhibition--Our
success--Traveling northward--Business increases--Frequent trades in
horses and wagons--The possessor of a fine turn-out--Mr. Keefer again
asks assistance--How I responded--Traveling with an ox-team and cart--A
great attraction--Sold out--Traveling by rail--My return to
Ohio--Meeting the clairvoyant doctor--How I fooled him--Quail, twelve
dollars a dozen--The doctor loses his appetite.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
A co-partnership formed in the auction business--How it ended--A new
friend--His generosity--Exhibiting a talking machine--It failed to
talk--How I entertained the audience--In the role of a Phrenologist.
CHAPTER XXIX.
In the auction business again--A new conveyance for street sales--My
trip through the lumber regions--A successful summer campaign--A
winter's trip through the south--My return to Grand Rapids, Mich.--A
trip to Lake Superior--Selling needles as a side issue--How I did
it--State license demanded by an officer--How I turned the tables on
him--Buying out a country store--A great sale of paper-cambric dress
patterns--A compromise with the buyers--My return to Chicago--Flush and
flying high.
CHAPTER XXX.
Buying out a large stock of merchandise--On the road again--Six weeks in
each town--Muddy roads and poor trade--Closing out at auction--Saved my
credit but collapsed--Peddling polish and jewelry--Wholesaling
jewelry--Fifty dollars and lots of experience my stock in trade--Tall
"hus'ling" and great success--An offer from a wholesale jewelry
firm--Declined with thanks--Hus'ling again--Great success.
CHAPTER XXXI.
Robbed of a trunk of jewelry--Only a small stock left--A terrible
calamity--Collapsed--An empty sample-case my sole possession--Peddling
polish again--Making a raise--Unintentional generosity breaks me
up--Meeting an old partner--The wholesaler supplies me with
jewelry--Hus'ling again with great success--Making six hundred dollars
in one day--My health fails me--I return to Ohio--A physician gives me
but two years to live--How I fooled him.
CHAPTER XXXII.
A friend loans me twenty-five dollars--My arrival in Chicago--Forty
dollars' worth of goods on credit--I leave for Michigan--Effecting a
sale by stratagem--Great success during the summer--Enforcing a
credit--Continued success--Opening an office in the city--Paying my old
debts, with interest--My trip to New York--Buying goods from the
manufacturers--My return to Chicago--Now I do hus'le--Immense success.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
Employing traveling salesmen--Depression in trade--Heavily in debt--How
I preserved my credit--I take to the road again--Traveling by
team--Deciding a horse-trade--My book-keeper proposes an assignment--I
reject the proposition--Collecting old debts by stratagem.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
Another horse trade--A heavy loss--Playing detective--My visit home--A
retrospect--Calling in my agents--A new scheme--It's a winner--Mr.
Keefer and my mother visit Chicago--His verdict, "It does beat the
devil."
CHAPTER I.
I was born near Ottawa, Illinois, January 6th, 1852, of Scotch-Irish
descent. My great-great-grandfather Johnston was a Presbyterian
clergyman, who graduated from the University of Edinburg, Scotland. My
mother's name was Finch. The family originally came from New England and
were typical Yankees as far as I have been able to trace them. My
father, whose full name I bear, died six months previous to my birth.
When two years of age my mother was married to a Mr. Keefer, of Ohio, a
miller by trade and farmer by occupation. Had my own father lived he
could not possibly have been more generous, affectionate, kind-hearted
and indulgent than this step-father.
And until the day of his death, which occurred on the 10th of July,
1887, he was always the same. This tribute is due him from one who
reveres his memory.
He had a family of children by his former wife, the youngest being a
year or two older than myself. Two daughters were born of this marriage.
A mixed family like the Keefer household naturally occasioned more or
less contention. More especially as the neighborhood contained those who
took it upon themselves to regulate their neighbors' domestic affairs in
preference to their own.
Consequently, in a few years, Mr. Keefer was severely criticised for not
compelling me to do more work on the farm, and for the interest he took
in schooling me.
As for myself, had I been hanged or imprisoned as often as those
neighbors prophesied I would be, I would have suffered death and loss of
freedom many times.
The farm life was distasteful to me from my earliest recollection. I
cannot remember ever having done an hour's work in this capacity except
under protest.
From this fact I naturally gained the reputation for miles around, of
being the laziest boy in the country, with no possible or probable
prospect of ever amounting to anything.
But they failed to give me credit for the energy required to walk three
miles night and morning to attend the village school, which afforded
better advantages than the district school.
When but a small lad my step-father gave me a cosset lamb which I raised
with a promise from him to give me half the wool and all of the
increase.
This, in a few years, amounted to a flock of over one hundred sheep. The
sale of my share of the wool, together with the yield from a potato
patch, which was a yearly gift from Mr. Keefer, was almost sufficient to
clothe me and pay my school expenses.
I should here add, that the potatoes above mentioned were the product of
the old gentleman's labor in plowing, planting, cultivating, digging and
marketing.
While I was expected to do this work, I was seldom on hand except on the
day of planting to superintend the job and see that the potatoes were
actually put into the ground, and again on market day to receive the
proceeds. During all my life on the farm, one great source of annoyance
and trouble to my step-father was my constant desire to have him
purchase everything that was brought along for sale, and to sell
everything from the farm that was salable.
In other words, I was always anxious to have him go into speculation. I
could not be too eager for a horse trade or the purchase of any new
invention or farm implement that had the appearance of being a
labor-saving machine.
Even the advent of a lightning-rod or insurance man delighted me, for it
broke the monotony and gave me some of the variety of life.
The rapid growth and development of my flock of sheep were partially due
to my speculative desires. I was persistent in having them gratified,
and succeeded, by being allowed the privilege of selling off the fat
wethers whenever they became marketable, and replacing them with young
ewes, which increased rapidly. These could be bought for much less than
the wethers would sell for.
My step-father was a man of more than ordinary common sense, and often
suggested splendid ideas, but was altogether too cautious for his own
good, and too slow to act in carrying them out.
While he and I got along harmoniously together, I am forced to admit
that my mother and myself had frequent combats.
There, perhaps, was never a more affectionate, kind-hearted mother than
she, and I dare say but few who ever possessed a higher-strung temper or
a stronger belief in the "spare the rod and spoil the child" doctrine.
At least, this was my candid, unprejudiced belief during those stormy
days. Why, I had become so accustomed to receiving my daily
chastisement, as to feel that the day had been broken, or something
unusual had happened, should I by chance miss a day.
The principle difficulty was, that I had inherited a high-strung,
passionate temper from my mother, and a strong self-will from my father,
which made a combination hard to subdue. In my later days I have come to
realize that I must have tantalized and pestered my mother beyond all
reason, and too often, no doubt, at times when her life was harassed,
and her patience severely tried by the misconduct of one or more of her
step-children, who, by the way, I never thought were blessed with the
sweetest of all sweet tempers, themselves. At any rate, whenever I got
on the war path, I seldom experienced any serious difficulty in finding
some one of the family to accommodate me. Notwithstanding, I usually
"trimmed" them, as I used to term it, to my entire satisfaction, and no
matter whether they, or I were to blame, it was no trouble for them to
satisfy my mother that I was the guilty one, despite my efforts to prove
an "alibi." For this I was sure to be punished, as I was also for every
fight I got into with the neighbor boys, whose great stronghold was to
twit me of being "lazy and red-headed."
I was, however, successful at last in convincing my mother that those
lads whom I was frequently fighting and quarreling with, were taking
every advantage of her action in flogging me every time I had difficulty
with them. They could readily see and understand that I was more afraid
of the "home rule" than I was of them, and would lose no opportunity to
say and do things to provoke me.
One day I came home from school at recess in the afternoon, all out of
sorts, and greatly incensed at one of the boys who was two years older
than myself, and who had been, as I thought, imposing upon me. I met Mr.
Keefer at the barn, and declared right _there and then_ that I would
never attend school another day, unless I could receive my parents' full
and free consent to protect myself, and to go out and fight that fellow
as he passed by from school that evening.
"Do you think you can get satisfaction?" he asked.
"I am sure I can," I answered.
"Well, then," he said, "I want you to go out and flog him good this
evening, and I'll go along and see that you have fair play."
"All right, I'll show you how I'll fix him," I answered.
About fifteen or twenty minutes later Henry and one of his chums came
from school to our barn-yard well for a pail of water.
I came to the barn door just in time to see them coming through the
gate. Mr. Keefer's consent that I should "do him up" gave me courage to
begin at once. I went to the pump, and throwing my cap on the ground,
said:
"See here, my father tells me to trim every mother's son of you that
twits me of being lazy and red-headed. Now, I'm going to finish you
first."
He was as much scared as he was surprised.
I buckled into him, and kick, bite, scratch, gouge, pull hair, twist
noses, and strike from the shoulder were the order of the day. I felt
all-confident and sailed in for all I was worth, and finished him in
less than three minutes, to the evident satisfaction of Mr. Keefer,
whom, when the fight was waxing hot, I espied standing on the dunghill
with a broad smile taking in the combat. I had nearly stripped my
opponent of his clothing, held a large wad of hair in each hand, his
nose flattened all over his face, two teeth knocked down his throat, his
shins skinned and bleeding, and both eyes closed. After getting himself
together he started down our lane, appearing dazed and bewildered. I
first thought he was going to a stone pile near by, but as he passed it
I began to realize his real condition, when I hurried to his rescue and
led him back to the water trough, and there helped to soak him out and
renovate him. After which his comrade returned to school alone with the
water, and he proceeded homeward.
After that I had no serious trouble with those near my own age, as it
was generally understood and considered that I had a license to fight
and a disposition to do so when necessary to protect my own rights.
When my mother heard of this she said I was a regular "tough."
Mr. Keefer said I could whip my weight in wild cats anyhow.
She said I deserved a good trouncing.
He said I deserved a medal and ought to have it.
My mother never seemed to understand me or my nature until the timely
arrival of an agent selling patent hay-forks, who professed to have a
knowledge of Phrenology, Physiognomy, and human nature in general. In
course of a conversation relative to family affairs, my mother remarked
that, with but one exception, she had no trouble in managing and
controling her children. He turned suddenly to me and said, "I see, this
is the one."
At this he called me to him and began a delineation of my character.
The very first thing he said was:
"You can put this boy on a lone island with nothing but a pocket knife,
and he will manage to whittle himself away."
From this, he went on to say many more _good things_ for me than _bad
ones_, which, of course, gratified me exceedingly.
But it was hot shot for others of the family who were present, and who
had never lost an opportunity to remind me of my future destiny.
This gentleman said to my mother, that the principle trouble was her
lack of knowledge of my disposition. That if she would shame me at times
when I was unruly, and make requests instead of demands when she wanted
favors from me, and above all, never to chastise me, she would see quite
a change for the better.
He also ventured the remark that some day, under the present management,
the boy would pack up his clothes, leave home, and never let his
whereabouts be known.
This opened my mother's eyes more than all else he had said, for I had
often threatened to do this very thing. In fact I had once been
thwarted by her in an effort to make my escape, which would have been
accomplished but for my anxiety to get possession of "the old shot gun,"
which I felt I would need in my encounter with Indians, and killing bear
and wild game. I might add that one of our neighbor boys was to decamp
with me, and the dime novel had been our guide.
From this time on there was a general reformation and reconciliation,
and my only regrets were that "hay forks" hadn't been invented several
years before, or at least, that this glorious good man with his stock of
information hadn't made his appearance earlier.
The greatest pleasure of my farm life and boyhood days was in squirrel
hunting and breaking colts and young steers.
My step-father always said he hardly knew what it was to break a colt,
as I always had them under good control and first-class training by the
time they were old enough to begin work.
Whenever I was able to match up a pair of steer calves, I would begin
yoking them together before they were weaned. I broke and raised one
pair until they were four years old, when Mr. Keefer sold them for a
good round sum. I shall never forget an incident that occurred, about
the time this yoke of steers were three years old, and when I was about
twelve years of age.
One of my school mates and I had played truant one afternoon, and
concluded to have a little fun with the steers, as my parents were away
from home that day. We yoked them together, and I thought it a clever
idea to hitch them to a large gate post which divided the lane and
barn-yard, and see them pull. From this post Mr. Keefer had just
completed the building of a fence, running to the barn, and had nailed
the rails at one end, to this large post and had likewise fastened the
ends of all the rails together, by standing small posts up where the
ends met, and nailing them together, which made a straight fence of
about four or five rods, all quite securely fastened together.
I hitched the steers to it, stepped back, swung my whip, and yelled,
"Gee there," and they did "gee." Away they went, gate post and fence
following after. I ran after them, yelling "whoa," at the top of my
voice, but they didn't "whoa," and seemed bent on scattering fence-rails
over the whole farm. One after another dropped off as they ran several
rods down the lane, before I was able to overtake and stop them.
Realizing that we were liable to be caught in the act, we unhitched
them on the spot, and after carrying the yoke back to the barn, went
immediately to school so as to be able to divert suspicion from
ourselves.
On the arrival home of my folks, which occurred just as school was out,
Mr. Keefer drove to the barn, and at once discovered that his new fence
had been moved and scattered down the lane--which was the most
mysterious of anything that had ever occurred in our family. He looked
the ground all over, but as we had left no clue he failed to suspect me.
The case was argued by all members of the family and many theories
advanced, and even some of the neighbors showed their usual interest in
trying to solve the mystery.
Of course it was the generally accepted belief that it was the
spite-work of some one, but who could it be, and how on earth could
anyone have done such a dare-devil thing in broad day light, when from
every appearance it was no small task to perform, was the wonder of all.
The more curious they became the more fear I had of exposure.
A few days later while Mr. Keefer and I were in the barn, he remarked,
that he would like to know who tore that fence down.
I then acknowledged to him that I knew who did it, and if he would agree
to buy me a "fiddle," I would tell him all about it. He had for years
refused to allow the "noisy thing in the house," as he expressed it, but
thinking to clear up the mystery, he agreed, and I made a frank
confession.
After this, he said he would buy me the fiddle when I became of age, and
as I had failed to make any specifications in my compromise with him, he
of course had the best of me.
I was not long, however, in getting even with him. I had a well-to-do
uncle (my own father's brother) J. H. Johnston, in the retail jewelry
business, at 150 Bowery, N. Y., (at which place he is still located). I
wrote him a letter explaining my great ambition to become a fiddler, and
how my folks wouldn't be bothered with the noise. I very shortly
received an answer saying, "Come to New York at once at my expense; have
bought you a _violin_, and want you to live with me until you are of
age. You can attend school, and fiddle to your heart's content."
He also said, that after I had attended school eight years there, he
would give me my choice of three things; to graduate at West Point,
learn the jewelry business, or be a preacher.
When this letter was read aloud by my mother, in the presence of the
family and a couple of neighbor boys, who had called that evening, it
created a great deal of laughter.
One of the boys asked if my uncle was much acquainted with me, and when
informed he had not seen me since I was two years old, he said that was
what he thought.
[Illustration: OFF FOR NEW YORK.--PAGE 31.]
My mother fixed me up in the finest array possible, and with a large
carpet bag full of clothes, boots, shoes, hats, caps and every thing
suitable, as she supposed, for almost every occasion imaginable. After
bidding adieu forever to every one for miles around, I started for my
new home.
[Illustration: ARRIVING AT NEW YORK.--PAGE 31.]
On arriving at my uncle's store, he greeted me kindly, and immediately
hustled me off to a clothing establishment, where a grand lightning
change and transformation scene took place. I was then run into a barber
shop for the first time in my life, and there relieved of a major
portion of my crop of hair.
When we reached his residence I was presented to the family, and then
with the fiddle, a box of shoe blacking and brush, a tooth brush,
clothes brush, hair brush and comb, the New Testament and a book of
etiquette.
I was homesick in less than twenty-four hours.
I would have given ten years of my life, could I have taken just one
look at my yoke of steers, or visited my old quail trap, down in the
woods, which I had not failed to keep baited for several winters in
succession and had never yet caught a quail.
Whenever I stood before the looking glass, the very sight of myself,
with the wonderful change in appearance, made me feel that I was in a
far-off land among a strange class of people.
Then I would think of how I must blacken my shoes, brush my clothes,
comb my hair, live up to the rules of etiquette and possibly turn out to
be a preacher.
I kept my trouble to myself as much as possible, but life was a great
burden to me.
My uncle was as kind to me as an own father, and gave me to understand,
that whenever I needed money I had only to ask for it. This was a new
phase of life, and it was hard for me to understand how he could afford
to allow me to spend money so freely. But when he actually reprimanded
me one day for being stingy, and said I ought to be ashamed to stand
around on the outside of a circus tent and stare at the advertising
bills when I had plenty of money in my pocket, I thought then he must be
"a little off in his upper story." Of course I didn't tell him so, but I
really think for the time being he lowered himself considerably in my
estimation, by trying to make a spendthrift of me. I had been taught
that economy was wealth, and the only road to success. I thought how
easily I could have filled my iron bank at home, in which I had for
years been saving my pennies, had my folks been like my uncle.
Altogether it was a question hard to solve, whether I should remain
there and take my chances of being a preacher and possibly die of
home-sickness, with plenty of money in my pockets, or return to Ohio,
where I had but a few days before bidden _farewell forever_ to the whole
country, and where I knew hard work on the farm awaited me, and economy
stared me in the face, without a dollar in my pocket.
Of the two I chose the latter and returned home in less than three
weeks a full fledged New Yorker. I brought my fiddle along and succeeded
in making life a burden to Mr. Keefer, who "never _was_ fond of music,
anyhow," and who never failed to show a look of disgust whenever I
struck up my tune.
Before I left New York, my uncle very kindly told me that if I would
attend school regularly after getting home, he would assist me
financially.
He kept his promise, and for that I now hold him in grateful
remembrance.
[Illustration: RETURNING HOME FROM NEW YORK.--PAGE 34.]
I made rather an uneventful trip homeward, beguiling the time by playing
my only tune which I had learned while in New York--"The girl I left
behind me." It proved to be a very appropriate piece, especially after I
explained what tune it was, as there were some soldiers on board the
cars who were returning home from the war. They were profuse in their
compliments, and said I was a devilish good fiddler, and would probably
some day make my mark at it.
I felt that I had been away from home for ages, and wondered if my folks
looked natural, if they would know me at first sight, and if the town
had changed much during my absence.
When I alighted from the train at Clyde, I met several acquaintances
who simply said, "How are you Perry? How are the folks?"
Finally I met one man who said, "How did it happen you didn't go to New
York?"
Another one said:
"When you going to start on your trip, Perry? Where'd you get your
fiddle?"
I then started for the farm, and on my arrival found no change in the
appearance of any of the family.
My mother said I looked like a corpse.
Mr. Keefer said he was glad to see me, but sorry about that cussed old
fiddle.
[Illustration]