I set out on my return to England, immediately after the receipt of her
last journal, the melancholy close of which had exceedingly terrified
and afflicted me.
Immediately on my arrival in London, I flew to the dear friend of my
heart; she was still at her house, in Pall-mall.
I found the dear Sidney alone, in her bed-chamber. She had been prepared
to receive me; but though I had endeavoured to arm myself with
resolution for this affecting interview, I was not mistress of myself at
the sight of her.
The tears I shed did not spring from that sweet emotion, which long
severed friends feel at seeing each other again; I wept in sorrow for
the heavy misfortunes of the best of women.
But Mrs Arnold, still herself, and superior to adversity, received me
with the tenderest marks of friendship, and with a composure that amazed
me.
Piety, meekness, and patience, were ever Mrs Arnold's characteristics;
and they now all appeared blended, and so strongly impressed on her
beautiful face, that I could not look at her without admiration.
As I was astonished to find her so calm under so trying an affliction, I
could not help expressing myself to that purpose; but Mrs Arnold checked
me, with this reply: 'I have been set up as a mark, my Cecilia; let me
fulfil the intention of my Maker, by shewing a perfect resignation to
His will. I hope, my task is almost finished, and that he will soon
permit me to return to the dust from which I came.'
Frederick Hildy had arrived from Ireland above a fortnight before, with
Master Faulkland, a beautiful child of about five years old. They were
both lodged in Mrs Arnold's house.
She told me, that Sir George Bidulph and Mr Warner had set out together
for Holland, immediately after the receipt of the letter, which informed
them of Mrs Faulkland's being alive.
My brother, said Mrs Arnold, thought it necessary himself to be the
bearer of news so fatal in its import to his friend. He hoped besides he
should be able to return and stand his trial for having killed Major
Smyth, as there is no doubt of his being acquitted; all Mr Bond's family
being now convinced, from Mrs Faulkland's own confession, that there was
nothing premeditated in this fatal event, and that what Mr Faulkland
did, was in defence of his own life.
I have writ, continued she, to Mr Faulkland, to endeavour to console him
under our mutual misfortune.
At my request, she shewed me a copy, of this letter; wherein she assured
him, she would take the tenderest care of his son, 'till the child could
be delivered safe into his hands; and conjured him, for that child's
sake, to be careful of his own interest and preservation; adding, that
as their ill fated marriage was an absolute secret to every one but the
persons immediately concerned, she hoped he would not suffer the
thoughts of it to break in upon his future quiet; and concluded with
beseeching him to forget her, as they were never more to meet.
This was the substance of what she wrote. There were no murmurings at
her fate, no womanish complainings, mixed with the tender, yet noble
sentiments of her heart. She endeavoured to conceal her own anguish
under the mask of contentment, that Mr Faulkland might the better
support this final destruction of all his hopes.
I asked her, whether she had heard since from Mr Faulkland? She told me
she had as yet received no answer from him to this letter, but that she
had heard severally from Sir George and Mr Warner, who both informed
her, that Mr Faulkland, after his first transports of surprize and grief
were over, at receiving this new and unexpected blow, had grown more
calm, and seemed inclined to return with them to England. Sir George
added, in the last letter she had from him, that they only waited 'till
Mr Warner had accomplished the business that he had to do in Holland,
and hoped, before a fortnight was at an end, to return home, and to have
the pleasure of conducting Mr Faulkland back.
It is ten days, continued Mrs Arnold, since I received this account, and
I flatter myself, that they may now be on their journey homeward.
Mrs Arnold said, that she waited but for Sir George's return, in order
to deliver Master Faulkland into his hands, and that she then meant to
retire into the country, with her two children, and Patty, the faithful
companion and partner of her grief.
Lady Sarah Bidulph, who would gladly have gone with Sir George to
Holland, had been persuaded by him to stay behind, in order to bear his
sister company in her affliction; and Mrs Arnold said, she had dedicated
much of her time to that friendly purpose.
Her Ladyship came to pay her a visit whilst I was there. I had never
seen Lady Sarah before; and we were introduced to each other.
I took my leave of Mrs Arnold, and promised to see her again the next
day.
In the morning, as I was preparing to go to her, I received a note from
Lady Sarah Bidulph, earnestly requesting the favour of seeing me, at her
house, in St James's Square, before I went to Mrs Arnold.