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_Tuesday, 18 December, 1894._
My good, dear one:
At last I am coming to the end of my sufferings, to the end of my agony.
To-morrow I shall appear before my judges, my head high, my soul
tranquil. The trial I have undergone, terrible as it has been, has
purified my soul. I shall return to you better than I was before. I want
to consecrate to you, to my children, to our dear families, all the time
I have yet to live.
As I have told you, I have passed through awful crises. I have had
moments of furious, actual madness at the thought of being accused of a
crime so monstrous.
I am ready to appear before the soldiers as a soldier who has nothing
for which to reproach himself. They will see it in my face; they will
read my soul; they will know that I am innocent; as all will who know
me.
Devoted to my country, to whom I have consecrated all my strength, all
my intellect, I have nothing to fear.
Sleep tranquilly then, my darling, and do not give way to any care;
think only of our joy when we are once more in each other’s arms--to
forget so quickly these sad, dark days!
Until we meet--soon, my darling! soon shall I have the joy of embracing
you and our good, dear ones.
A thousand kisses while I wait for that happy moment.