Give my love to all the family. Tell them that I am to-day what I was
yesterday, having but one care, to do my duty.
The Commissary of the Government has informed me that Me. Demange will
defend me. I think that I shall see him to-morrow. Write to me to the
prison. Your letters, like mine, will pass through the hands of the
government commissioner.
* * * * *
_Thursday morning, 7 December, 1894._
I am waiting with impatience for a letter from you. You are my hope; you
are my consolation; were it not for you life would be a burden. At the
bare thought that they could accuse me of a crime so frightful, so
monstrous, my whole being trembles; my body revolts against it. To have
worked all my life for one thing alone, to avenge my country, to
struggle for her against the infamous ravisher who has snatched from us
our dear Alsace, and then to be accused of treason against that
country--no, my loved one, my mind refuses to comprehend it! Do you
remember my telling you how, when I was in Mulhouse, ten years ago, in
September, I heard a German band under our windows celebrating the
anniversary of Sedan? My grief was such that I wept; I bit the sheets of
my bed with rage, and I swore an oath to consecrate all my strength, all
my intelligence, to the service of my country against those who thus
offered insult to the grief of Alsace.
No, no. I will not speak of it, for I shall go mad, and I must preserve
all my reason. Moreover my life has henceforth but one aim: to find the
wretch who has betrayed his country; to find the traitor for whom no
punishment could be too severe. Oh, dear France, thou that I love with
all my soul, with all my heart! thou to whom I have consecrated all my
strength, all my intelligence, how couldst thou accuse me of a crime so
horrible! I will not write upon this subject, my darling; for spasms
take me by the throat. No man has ever borne the martyrdom that I
endure. No physical suffering can be compared to the mental agony that I
feel when my thoughts turn to this accusation. If I had not my honor to
defend, I assure you that I should prefer death; at least, death would
be forgetfulness. Write to me soon. My love to all.
* * * * *
_December, 1894._
My good Darling:
Thanks for your long letter of yesterday. I have never doubted your
adorable devotion, your great heart. It is most of all of you that I
think in these dark days; I think of your sadness, the grief that you
must feel; and in this thought lies my only weakness.
As for me, fear nothing. If I have suffered deeply I have never wavered
nor bowed my head. The moments of my deepest anguish have been those in
which I have thought of you, my good darling, of all our family. I
realised your sorrow when you were without news of me. I had time to
think of you all, in the long days, in the sleepless nights, alone with
my own thoughts. In those hours I had nothing to read; no way to write!
I turned like a lion in its cage, trying to work out an enigma that
escaped me. But everything in this world is conquered by perseverance
and by energy. I swear to you that I shall discover the wretch who
committed the act of infamy. Keep up your courage, my good darling, and
look the world in the face. You have the right to do so.
Thank every one for the admirable devotion shown in my cause. Embrace
our dear children and all the family for me.