(_For hairdressers who recommend a wonderful "Restorative," and are
careless of the aspirate._)
"An everlasting wash of air."
* * * * *
A COCKNEY CON.--When may a man really be supposed to be hungry?
When he goes to Nor-(gnaw)wood for his dinner.
* * * * *
[Illustration: SO VERY CONSIDERATE.
_Stout Coster._ "Where are ye goin' to, Bill?"
_Bill._ "Inter the country for a nice drive, bein' Bank 'Olidy."
_Stout Coster._ "Same 'ere. I sy! don't yer think we might swop misseses
just for a few hours? It would be so much kinder to the hanimile!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _'Arry (whose "Old Dutch" has been shopping, and has kept
him waiting a considerable time)._ "Wot d'yer mean, keepin' me standin'
abaat 'ere like a bloomin' fool?"
_'Arriet._ "_I_ can't 'elp the way yer stand, 'Arry."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: VERY DRY WEATHER.
"'Ooray, Bill! 'Ere's luck! I gorr' 'nother tanner! Leshgobackag'in!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: 'EARD ON 'AMPSTEAD 'EATH
----"And talk of our bein' be'ind the French in general edication, why
all I can say is as it's the commonest thing in Paree, for instance
(over fust-class restorongs, too, mind yer), to see 'dinner' spelt with
only one 'N'!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: DIAGNOSIS.
"I can tell you what _you're_ suffering from, my good fellow! You're
suffering from _acne_!"
"_'Ackney?_ Why, that's just what _t'other_ medical gent he told me! _I
only wish I'd never been near the place!_"]
* * * * *