_(Contributed by a Converted Cockney)_
It is a mistake to believe that every Scotchman, when he goes to
Edinburgh, immediately walks down Princes Street clad in the ancient
costume of the Highlanders.
It is a mistake to believe that the _piece de resistance_ at every
Scotch dinner-party is a haggis.
It is a mistake to believe that a Scotchman does not enjoy a joke every
bit as much as an Englishman.
It is a mistake to believe that a Scotch Sabbath in the country is a
whit more _triste_ than an English Sunday in the provinces.
It is a mistake to believe that a Scotchman sets a greater value upon
his "bawbee" than an Englishman upon his shilling or an American upon
his dollar.
It is a mistake to believe that inns in Scotland are dearer and less
comfortable than hotels in England.
It is a mistake to believe that we have a city in England that can
compare favourably (from an architectural point of view) with the town
of Edinburgh.
It is a mistake to believe that it always rains in the Isle of Skye.
It is a mistake to believe that there are no more "Fair Maids" in the
houses of Perth.
It is a mistake to believe that Hampstead Heath is as beautiful as
Dunkeld.
It is a mistake to believe that the Caledonian Canal is at all like the
Serpentine.
It is a mistake to believe that Aberdeen is less imposing in appearance
than Chelsea or Islington.
It is a mistake to believe that the countrymen of Scott and Burns do not
appreciate the works of Shakspeare, Milton, Byron, Dickens, Thackeray,
and Tennyson.
And, lastly (this is added to the Cockney's list by the wisest sage of
this or any other age), it is the greatest mistake of all to believe
that _Mr. Punch_ does not like and respect (in spite of an occasional
joke at their expense) the kindly, homely, sound-hearted people who live
north of the Tweed.
* * * * *
[Illustration: AFTER THE RACES.
_Little 'Arry (who has had a "bad day"--to driver of public coach)._
"Ever lose any money backin' 'orses, coachie?"
_Driver._ "Not 'alf! Lost twenty quid once--backed a pair of 'orses and
a homnibus into a shop window in Regent Street!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Old Lady._ "Dear me, what a nice refined-looking little
boy. Why, Jane, he has a mouth fit for a cherub; I really must give him
sixpence."
[_Does so._
_The Cherub (five seconds later)._ "S-s-s-s!! Billee! the old gal's give
me a tanner!"]
* * * * *