"All's swell that ends swell," as 'Arry remarked when he purchased a
pair of "misfits."
* * * * *
'ARRY AND 'ARRIET'S FAVOURITE ITALIAN POET.--'Ariosto.
* * * * *
MOTHER WIT.--_First Coster._ I say, Bill, wot's the meanin' o' Congress?
_Second Coster._ A shee heel. Female of conger.
* * * * *
A LONDONER'S RURAL REFLECTION.--The Hayfield is better than the
Haymarket.
* * * * *
'ARRY'S LAMENT
"A public meeting was held at Hampstead last night to protest against
the tampering with the Heath by tube railway promoters."--_Daily Paper._
Wot! Toobs on 'appy 'Amstid?
A stytion at _Jack Strors_?
I 'old the sime a bloomin' shim
An' clean agin the lors,
Leastwyes it oughter be--
If lors wos mide by me
No toobs yer wouldn't see
On 'appy 'Amstid.
Wy, wheer are we ter go, Liz,
Ter git a breath of air?
Yer'll set yer teeth agin the 'eath
When theer's a toob up there.
A pinky-yaller stytion
By wye o' deckyrytion--
I calls it desecrytion,
'Appy 'Amstid.
Oh! sive us 'appy 'Amstid!
It's Parrydise, you bet!
Theer ain't no smoke ter 'arm a bloke.
Nor yet no smuts as yet.
An' so I 'opes they'll tell
This bloomin' Yanky swell
Ter send 'is toobs ter--well,
Not 'appy 'Amstid!
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE WILD WILD EAST
_First Coster._ "Say, Bill, 'ow d'yer like my new kickseys? Good fit,
eh?"
_Second Coster._ "Fit! They ain't no _fit_. They're a _haper-plictick
stroke_!"]
* * * * *