THE FIRST LIEUTENANT HAS MORE PATIENTS--MR. CHUCKS THE BOATSWAIN LETS ME
INTO THE SECRET OF HIS GENTILITY.
Before I proceed with my narrative, I wish to explain to the reader that
my history was not written in after-life, when I had obtained a greater
knowledge of the world. When I first went to sea, I promised my mother
that I would keep a journal of what passed, with my reflections upon it.
To this promise I rigidly adhered, and since I have been my own master,
these journals have remained in my possession. In writing, therefore,
the early part of my adventures, everything is stated as it was
impressed on my mind at the time.
We had now been cruising for six weeks, and I found that my profession
was much more agreeable than I had anticipated. My desire to please was
taken for the deed; and, although I occasionally made a blunder, yet the
captain and first lieutenant seemed to think that I was attentive to my
duty to the best of my ability, and only smiled at my mistakes.
The first lieutenant was one of the most amusing men I ever knew, yet he
never relaxed from the discipline of the service, or took the least
liberty with either his superiors or inferiors. His humour was
principally shown in his various modes of punishment; and, however
severe the punishment was to the party, the manner of inflicting it was
invariably a source of amusement to the remainder of the ship's company.
I often thought, that although no individual liked being punished, yet,
that all the ship's company were quite pleased when a punishment took
place. He was very particular about his decks; they were always as
white as snow, and nothing displeased him so much as their being soiled.
It was for that reason that he had such an objection to the use of
tobacco. There were spitting-pans placed in different parts of the
decks for the use of the men, that they might not dirty the planks with
the tobacco juice. Sometimes a man in a hurry forgot to use these pans;
but as the mess to which the stain might be opposite had their grog
stopped if the party were not found out, they took good care not only to
keep a look-out, but to inform against the offender. Now the punishment
for the offence was as follows--the man's hands were tied behind his
back, and a large tin spitting-box fixed to his chest by a strap over
the shoulders. All the other boxes on the lower deck were taken away,
and he was obliged to walk there, ready to attend the summons of any man
who might wish to empty his mouth of the tobacco-juice. The other men
were so pleased at the fancy, that they spat twice as much as before,
for the pleasure of making him run about.
I was much amused one morning watch that I kept. We were stowing the
hammocks in the quarter-deck nettings, when one of the boys came up with
his hammock on his shoulder, and as he passed the first lieutenant, the
latter perceived that he had a quid of tobacco in his cheek.
"What have you got there, my good lad--a gum-boil?--your cheek is very
much swelled."
"No, sir," replied the boy, "there's nothing at all the matter."
"Oh, there must be; it is a bad tooth, then. Open your mouth, and let
me see."
Very reluctantly the boy opened his mouth, and discovered a large roll
of tobacco-leaf.
"I see, I see," said the first lieutenant, "your mouth wants
overhauling, and your teeth cleaning. I wish we had a dentist on board;
but as we have not, I will operate as well as I can. Send the armourer
up here with his tongs."
When the armourer made his appearance, the boy was made to open his
mouth, while the chaw of tobacco was extracted with his rough
instrument.
"There now," said the first lieutenant, "I am sure that you must feel
better already; you never could have had any appetite. Now, captain of
the afterguard, bring a piece of old canvas and some sand here, and
clean his teeth nicely."
The captain of the afterguard came forward, and putting the boy's head
between his knees, scrubbed his teeth well with the sand and canvas for
two or three minutes.
"There, that will do," said the first lieutenant. "Now, my little
fellow, your mouth is nice and clean, and you'll enjoy your breakfast.
It was impossible for you to have eaten anything with your mouth in such
a nasty state. When it's dirty again, come to me and I'll be your
dentist."
One day I was on the forecastle with Mr Chucks, the boatswain, who was
very kind to me. He had been showing me how to make the various knots
and bends of rope which are used in our service. I am afraid that I was
very stupid, but he showed me over and over again, until I learnt how to
make them. Amongst others, he taught me a fisherman's bend, which he
pronounced to be the _king_ of all knots; "and, Mr Simple," continued
he, "there's a moral in that knot. You observe, that when the parts are
drawn the right way, and together, the more you pull, the faster they
hold, and the more impossible to untie them; but see, by hauling them
apart, how a little difference, a pull the other way, immediately
disunites them, and then how easy they cast off in a moment. That
points out the necessity of pulling together in this world, Mr Simple,
when we wish to hold on, and that's a piece of philosophy worth all the
twenty-six thousand and odd years of my friend the carpenter, which
leads to nothing but a brown study, when he ought to be attending to his
duty."
"Very true, Mr Chucks, you are the better philosopher of the two."
"I am the better educated, Mr Simple, and, I trust, more of a
gentleman. I consider a gentleman to be, to a certain degree, a
philosopher; for very often he is obliged, to support his character as
such, to put up with what another person may very properly fly in a
passion about. I think coolness is the great characterstick of a
gentleman. In the service, Mr Simple, one is obliged to appear angry
without indulging the sentiment. I can assure you, that I never lose my
temper, even when I use my rattan."
"Why, then, Mr Chucks, do you swear so much at the men? surely that is
not gentlemanly?"
"Most certainly not, sir. But I must defend myself by observing the
very artificial state in which we live on board of a man-of-war.
Nothing would afford me more pleasure than to be able to carry on the
duty as a gentleman, but that's impossible."
"I really cannot see why."
"Perhaps, then, Mr Simple, you will explain to me why the captain and
first lieutenant swear."
"That I do not pretend to answer, but they only do so upon an
emergency."
"Exactly so; but, sir, their 'mergency is my daily and hourly duty. In
the continual working of the ship I am answerable for all that goes
amiss. The life of a boatswain is a life of 'mergency, and therefore I
swear."
"I still cannot allow it to be requisite, and certainly it is sinful."
"Excuse me, my dear sir; it is absolutely requisite, and not at all
sinful. There is one language for the pulpit, and another for on board
ship, and, in either situation, a man must make use of those terms most
likely to produce the necessary effect upon his listeners. Certain it
is that common parlancy won't do with a common seaman. It is not here
as in the Scriptures, `Do this, and he doeth it,' (by-the-by, that chap
must have had his soldiers in tight order); but it is `Do this, damn
your eyes,' and then it is done directly. The order to _do_ just
carries the weight of a cannon shot, but it wants the perpelling power--
the damn is the gunpowder which sets it flying in the execution of its
duty. Do you comprehend me, Mr Simple?"
"I perfectly understand you, Mr Chucks, and I cannot help remarking,
and that without flattery, that you are very different from the rest of
the warrant officers. Where did you receive your education?"
"Mr Simple, I am here a boatswain with a clean shirt, and, I say it
myself, and no one dare gainsay it, also with a thorough knowledge of my
duty. But although I do not say that I ever was better off, I can say
this, that I've been in the best society, in the company of lords and
ladies. I once dined with your grandfather."
"That's more than ever I did, for he never asked me, nor took the least
notice of me," replied I.
"What I state is true. I did not know that he was your grandfather
until yesterday, when I was talking with Mr O'Brien; but I perfectly
recollect him, although I was very young at that time. Now, Mr Simple,
if you will promise me as a gentleman (and I know you are one), that you
will not repeat what I tell you, then I'll let you into the history of
my life."
"Mr Chucks, as I am a gentleman I never will divulge it until you are
dead and buried, and not then if you do not wish it."
Mr Chucks then sat down upon the fore-end of the booms by the funnel,
and I took my place by his side, when he commenced as follows:--
"My father was a boatswain before me--one of the old school, rough as a
bear, and drunken as a Gosport fiddler. My mother was--my mother, and I
shall say no more. My father was invalided for harbour duty after a
life of intoxication, and died shortly afterwards. In the meantime I
had been, by the kindness of the port-admiral's wife, educated at a
foundation school. I was thirteen when my father died, and my mother,
not knowing what to do with me, wished to bind me apprentice to a
merchant vessel; but this I refused, and, after six months' quarrelling
on the subject, I decided the point by volunteering in the _Narcissus_
frigate. I believe that my gentlemanly ideas were innate, Mr Simple; I
never, as a child, could bear the idea of the merchant service. After I
had been a week on board, I was appointed servant to the purser, where I
gave such satisfaction by my alertness and dexterity, that the first
lieutenant took me away from the purser to attend upon himself. It so
happened, that after I had served the first lieutenant for about a year,
a young lord (I must not mention his name, Mr Simple) was sent to sea
by his friends, or by his own choice, I don't know which, but I was told
that his uncle, who was 'zeckative, and had an interest in his death,
persuaded him to go. A lord at that period, some twenty-five years ago,
was a rarity in the service, and they used to salute him when he came on
board. The consequence was, that the young lord must have a servant to
himself, although all the rest of the midshipmen had but one servant
between them. The captain inquired who was the best boy in the ship,
and the purser, to whom he appealed, recommended me. Accordingly, I was
immediately surrendered to his lordship. I had a very easy, comfortable
life of it--I did little or nothing. We went to the Mediterranean
(because his lordship's mamma wished it), and we had been there about a
year, when his lordship ate so many grapes that he was seized with a
dysentery. He was ill for three weeks, and then he requested to be sent
to Malta in a transport going to Gibraltar, or rather to the Barbary
coast for bullocks. He became worse every day, and made his will
leaving me all his effects on board, which I certainly deserved for the
kindness with which I had nursed him. Off Malta we fell in with a
xebeque, bound to Civita Vecchia, and the captain of the transport,
anxious to proceed, advised our going on board of her, as the wind was
light and contrary, and these Mediterranean vessels sailed better on a
wind than the transport. My master, who was now sinking fast,
consented, and we changed our ships. The next day he died, and a gale
of wind came on, which prevented us from gaining the port for several
days, and the body of his lordship not only became so offensive, but
affected the superstition of the Catholic sailors so much, that it was
hove overboard. The wind was still against us, when a merchant vessel
ran down to us, that had left Civita Vecchia for Gibraltar. I desired
the captain of the xebeque to make a signal of distress, or rather I did
myself, and the vessel, which proved to be English, bore down to us.
"I manned the boat to go on board, and the idea came into my head, that
although they might refuse to take me, that they would not refuse a
lord. I put on the midshipman's uniform belonging to his lordship (but
then certainly belonging to me), and went alongside of the merchant
vessel; I told them that I had left my ship for the benefit of my
health, and wanted a passage to Gibraltar, on my way home. My title,
and immediate acceptance of the terms demanded for my passage, was
sufficient. My property was brought from the xebeque; and, of course,
as they could not speak English, they could not contradict, even if they
suspected. During my passage to Gibraltar, I had plenty of time for
arranging my plans. I hardly need say that my lord's _kit_ was
valuable; and what was better, they exactly fitted me. I also had his
watches and trinkets, and many other things, besides a bag of dollars.
However, they were honestly mine; the only thing that I took was his
name, which he had no further occasion for, poor fellow! But it's no
use defending what was wrong--it was dishonest, and there's an end of
it.
"Now observe, Mr Simple, how one thing leads to another. I declare to
you, that my first idea of making use of his lordship's name was to
procure a passage to Gibraltar. I then was undecided how to act; but,
as I had charge of his papers and letters to his mother and guardian, I
think, indeed I am almost sure--that I should have laid aside my dignity
and midshipman's dress, and applied for a passage home to the
commissioner of the yard. But it was fated to be otherwise; for the
master of the transport went on shore to report and obtain pratique, and
he told them everywhere that the young Lord A--- was a passenger with
him, going to England for the benefit of his health. In less than
half-an-hour, off came the commissioner's boat, and another boat from
the governor, requesting the honour of my company, and that I would take
a bed at their houses during my stay. What could I do? I began to be
frightened; but I was more afraid to confess that I was an impostor, for
I am sure the master of the transport alone would have kicked me
overboard, if I had let him know that he had been so confounded polite
to a ship's boy. So I blushed half from modesty and half from guilt,
and accepted the invitation of the governor; sending a polite verbal
refusal to the commissioner, upon the plea of there being no paper or
pens on board.
"Well, Mr Simple, I dressed myself very carefully, put on my chains and
rings, and a little perfume on my handkerchief, and accompanied the
aide-de-camp to the governor's, where I was asked after my mother, Lady
---, and my uncle, my guardian, and a hundred other questions. At first
I was much confused, which was attributed to bashfulness; and so it was,
but not of the right sort. But before the day was over, I had been so
accustomed to be called `my lord,' and to my situation, that I was quite
at my ease, and began to watch the motions and behaviour of the company,
that I might regulate my comportment by that of good society. I
remained at Gibraltar for a fortnight, and then was offered a passage in
a transport ordered to Portsmouth. Being on officer, of course it was
free to a certain extent. On my passage to England, I again made up my
mind that I would put off my dress and title as soon as I could escape
from observation; but I was prevented as before. The port-admiral sent
off to request the pleasure of my company to dinner. I dared not
refuse; and there I was, my lord as before, courted and feasted by
everybody. My bill at the hotel was very extravagant, and more than I
could pay: but the master said it was not of the least consequence: that
of course his lordship had not provided himself with cash, just coming
from foreign parts, and offered to supply me with money if I required
it. This, I will say, I was honest enough to refuse. I left my cards,
PPC, as they do, Mr Simple, in all well regulated society, and set off
in the mail for London, where I fully resolved to drop my title, and to
proceed to Scotland to his lordship's mother, with the mournful
intelligence of his death--for you see, Mr Simple, no one knew that his
lordship was dead. When I arrived in London (I still wore my
midshipman's uniform), I went to an hotel recommended to me, as I
afterwards found out, the most fashionable in town, my title still
following me. I now determined to put off my uniform and dress in plain
clothes--my farce was over. I went to bed that night, and the next
morning made my appearance in a suit of mufti, making inquiry of the
waiter which was the best conveyance to Scotland.
"`Post chay and four, my lord. At what time shall I order it?'
"`Oh,' replied I, `I am not sure that I shall go to-morrow.'
"Just at this moment in came the master of the hotel, with the _Morning
Post_ in his hand, making me a low bow, and pointing to the insertion of
my arrival at his hotel among the fashionables. This annoyed me; and
now that I found how difficult it was to get rid of my title, I became
particularly anxious to be William Chucks, as before. Before twelve
o'clock, three or four gentlemen were ushered into my sitting-room, who
observing my arrival in that damn'd _Morning Post_, came to pay their
respects; and before the day was over, I was invited and re-invited by a
dozen people.
"At last the play was over. I had been enticed by some young men into a
gambling-house, where they intended to fleece me; but, for the first
night, they allowed me to win, I think, about 300 pounds. I was quite
delighted with my success, and had agreed to meet them the next evening;
but when I was at breakfast, with my legs crossed, reading the _Morning
Post_, who should come to see me but my guardian uncle. He knew his
nephew's features too well to be deceived, and my not recognising him
proved at once that I was an impostor. You must allow me to hasten over
the scene which took place,--the wrath of the uncle, the confusion in
the hotel, the abuse of the waiters, the police-officer, and being
dragged into a hackney-coach to Bow-street. There I was examined, and
confessed all. The uncle was so glad to find that his nephew was really
dead, that he felt no resentment towards me; and as, after all, I had
only assumed a name, but had cheated nobody, except the landlord at
Portsmouth, I was sent on board the tender off the Tower to be drafted
into a man-of-war. As for my 300 pounds, my clothes, etc, I never heard
any more of them; they were seized, I presume, by the landlord of the
hotel for my bill, and very handsomely he must have paid himself.
"You found some difference, I should think, in your situation?"
"Yes I did, Mr Simple: but I was much happier. I could not forget the
ladies, and the dinners, and the opera, and all the delights of London,
beside the respect paid to my title, and I often sighed for them; but
the police-officer and Bow-street also came to my recollection, and I
shuddered at the remembrance. It had, however, one good effect; I
determined to be an officer if I could, and learnt my duty, and worked
my way up to quarter-master, and thence to boatswain--and I know my
duty, Mr Simple. But I've been punished for my folly ever since. I
formed ideas above my station in life, and cannot help longing to be a
gentleman. It's a bad thing for a man to have ideas above his station."
"You certainly must find some difference between the company in London
and that of the warrant officers."
"It's many years back now, sir; but I can't get over the feeling. I
can't 'sociate with them at all."