We left Lesley-Castle on the 28th of last Month, and arrived safely in
London after a Journey of seven Days; I had the pleasure of finding
your Letter here waiting my Arrival, for which you have my grateful
Thanks. Ah! my dear Freind I every day more regret the serene and
tranquil Pleasures of the Castle we have left, in exchange for the
uncertain and unequal Amusements of this vaunted City. Not that I will
pretend to assert that these uncertain and unequal Amusements are in
the least Degree unpleasing to me; on the contrary I enjoy them
extremely and should enjoy them even more, were I not certain that
every appearance I make in Public but rivetts the Chains of those
unhappy Beings whose Passion it is impossible not to pity, tho’ it is
out of my power to return. In short my Dear Charlotte it is my
sensibility for the sufferings of so many amiable young Men, my Dislike
of the extreme admiration I meet with, and my aversion to being so
celebrated both in Public, in Private, in Papers, and in Printshops,
that are the reasons why I cannot more fully enjoy, the Amusements so
various and pleasing of London. How often have I wished that I
possessed as little Personal Beauty as you do; that my figure were as
inelegant; my face as unlovely; and my appearance as unpleasing as
yours! But ah! what little chance is there of so desirable an Event; I
have had the small-pox, and must therefore submit to my unhappy fate.
I am now going to intrust you my dear Charlotte with a secret which has
long disturbed the tranquility of my days, and which is of a kind to
require the most inviolable Secrecy from you. Last Monday se’night
Matilda and I accompanied Lady Lesley to a Rout at the Honourable Mrs
Kickabout’s; we were escorted by Mr Fitzgerald who is a very amiable
young Man in the main, tho’ perhaps a little singular in his Taste—He
is in love with Matilda—. We had scarcely paid our Compliments to the
Lady of the House and curtseyed to half a score different people when
my Attention was attracted by the appearance of a Young Man the most
lovely of his Sex, who at that moment entered the Room with another
Gentleman and Lady. From the first moment I beheld him, I was certain
that on him depended the future Happiness of my Life. Imagine my
surprise when he was introduced to me by the name of Cleveland—I
instantly recognised him as the Brother of Mrs Marlowe, and the
acquaintance of my Charlotte at Bristol. Mr and Mrs M. were the
gentleman and Lady who accompanied him. (You do not think Mrs Marlowe
handsome?) The elegant address of Mr Cleveland, his polished Manners
and Delightful Bow, at once confirmed my attachment. He did not speak;
but I can imagine everything he would have said, had he opened his
Mouth. I can picture to myself the cultivated Understanding, the Noble
sentiments, and elegant Language which would have shone so conspicuous
in the conversation of Mr Cleveland. The approach of Sir James Gower
(one of my too numerous admirers) prevented the Discovery of any such
Powers, by putting an end to a Conversation we had never commenced, and
by attracting my attention to himself. But oh! how inferior are the
accomplishments of Sir James to those of his so greatly envied Rival!
Sir James is one of the most frequent of our Visitors, and is almost
always of our Parties. We have since often met Mr and Mrs Marlowe but
no Cleveland—he is always engaged some where else. Mrs Marlowe fatigues
me to Death every time I see her by her tiresome Conversations about
you and Eloisa. She is so stupid! I live in the hope of seeing her
irrisistable Brother to night, as we are going to Lady Flambeaus, who
is I know intimate with the Marlowes. Our party will be Lady Lesley,
Matilda, Fitzgerald, Sir James Gower, and myself. We see little of Sir
George, who is almost always at the gaming-table. Ah! my poor Fortune
where art thou by this time? We see more of Lady L. who always makes
her appearance (highly rouged) at Dinner-time. Alas! what Delightful
Jewels will she be decked in this evening at Lady Flambeau’s! Yet I
wonder how she can herself delight in wearing them; surely she must be
sensible of the ridiculous impropriety of loading her little diminutive
figure with such superfluous ornaments; is it possible that she can not
know how greatly superior an elegant simplicity is to the most studied
apparel? Would she but Present them to Matilda and me, how greatly
should we be obliged to her, How becoming would Diamonds be on our fine
majestic figures! And how surprising it is that such an Idea should
never have occurred to _her_. I am sure if I have reflected in this
manner once, I have fifty times. Whenever I see Lady Lesley dressed in
them such reflections immediately come across me. My own Mother’s
Jewels too! But I will say no more on so melancholy a subject—let me
entertain you with something more pleasing—Matilda had a letter this
morning from Lesley, by which we have the pleasure of finding that he
is at Naples has turned Roman-Catholic, obtained one of the Pope’s
Bulls for annulling his 1st Marriage and has since actually married a
Neapolitan Lady of great Rank and Fortune. He tells us moreover that
much the same sort of affair has befallen his first wife the worthless
Louisa who is likewise at Naples had turned Roman-catholic, and is soon
to be married to a Neapolitan Nobleman of great and Distinguished
merit. He says, that they are at present very good Freinds, have quite
forgiven all past errors and intend in future to be very good
Neighbours. He invites Matilda and me to pay him a visit to Italy and
to bring him his little Louisa whom both her Mother, Step-mother, and
himself are equally desirous of beholding. As to our accepting his
invitation, it is at Present very uncertain; Lady Lesley advises us to
go without loss of time; Fitzgerald offers to escort us there, but
Matilda has some doubts of the Propriety of such a scheme—she owns it
would be very agreable. I am certain she likes the Fellow. My Father
desires us not to be in a hurry, as perhaps if we wait a few months
both he and Lady Lesley will do themselves the pleasure of attending
us. Lady Lesley says no, that nothing will ever tempt her to forego the
Amusements of Brighthelmstone for a Journey to Italy merely to see our
Brother. “No (says the disagreable Woman) I have once in my life been
fool enough to travel I dont know how many hundred Miles to see two of
the Family, and I found it did not answer, so Deuce take me, if ever I
am so foolish again.” So says her Ladyship, but Sir George still
Perseveres in saying that perhaps in a month or two, they may accompany
us.
Adeiu my Dear Charlotte
Yrs faithful Margaret Lesley.