We twa hae wandered o'er the braes,
And pu'ed the gowans fine;
I've wandered many a weary foot
Sin auld lang syne.
These years had passed quietly at Stoneborough, with little change
since Mary's marriage. She was the happy excellent wife that she was
made to be; and perhaps it was better for Ethel that the first
severance had been so decisive that Mary's attentions to her old home
were received as favours, instead of as the mere scanty relics of her
former attachment.
Mr. Cheviot, as the family shook down together, became less afraid of
Ethel, and did not think it so needful to snub her either by his
dignity or jocularity; though she still knew that she was only on terms
of sufferance, and had been, more than once, made to repent of
unguarded observations. He was admirable; and the school was so
rapidly improving that Norman had put his father into ecstasies by
proposing to send home little Dickie to begin his education there.
Moreover, the one element wanting, to accomplish the town improvements,
had been supplied by a head-master on the side of progress, and Dr.
Spencer's victory had been won at last. There was a chance that
Stoneborough might yet be clean, thanks to his reiteration of plans for
purification, apropos to everything. Baths and wash-houses were
adroitly carried as a monument to Prince Albert; and on the Prince of
Wales's marriage, his perseverance actually induced the committee to
finish up the drains with all the contributions that were neither eaten
up nor fired away! Never had he been more happy and triumphant; and
Dr. May used to accuse him of perambulating the lower streets snuffing
the deodorized air.
One autumn evening, contrary to his wont, he allowed himself to be
drawn into the May drawing-room, and there fell into one of the bright
bantering talks in which the two old friends delighted, quizzing each
other, and bringing up stories of their life; while Ethel and Gertrude
listened to and laughed at the traditions of a sunnier, gayer, and more
reckless age than their own; and Ethel thought how insufficient are
those pictures of life that close with the fever-dream of youthful
passion, and leave untold those years of the real burthen of manhood,
and still more the tranquil brightness when toil has been overlived,
and the setting sun gilds the clouds that are drifting away.
Ethel's first knowledge of outer life the next morning was the sound of
voices in her father's adjoining room, which made her call out, 'Are
you sent for, papa?'
'Yes,' he answered, and in an agitated tone, 'Spencer; I'll send word.'
Should she mention what she had two years ago heard from Tom? There
was no time, for the next moment she heard him hurrying down-stairs,
she saw him speeding up the garden. There was nothing for her to do
but to dress as fast as possible, and as she was finishing she heard
his tread slowly mounting, the very footfall warning her what to
expect. She opened the door and met him. 'Thank God,' he said, as he
took her hand into his own, 'it has been very merciful.'
'Is it--?'
'Yes. It must have been soon after he lay down at night. As calm as
sleep. The heart. I am very thankful. I had thought he would have
had much to suffer.'
And then it appeared that his own observations had made him sure of
what Ethel had learnt from Tom; but as long as it was unavowed by his
friend, he had thought himself bound to ignore it, and had so dreaded
the protracted suffering, that the actual stroke was accepted as a
loving dispensation.
Still, as the close of a life-long friendship, the end of a daily
refreshing and sustaining intimacy, the loss was very great, and would
be increasingly felt after the first stimulus was over. It would make
Tom's defection a daily grievance, since much detail of hospital care,
and, above all, town work, his chief fatigue, would now again fall upon
him. But this was not his present thought. His first care was, that
his friend's remains should rest with those with whom his lot in life
had been cast, in the cloister of the old Grammar-school; but here Mr.
Cheviot looked concerned, and with reluctance, but decision, declared
it to be his duty not to consent, cited the funeral of one of his
scholars at the cemetery, and referred to recent sanatory measures.
Dr. May quickly exclaimed that he had looked into the matter, and that
the cloister did not come under the Act.
'Not technically, sir,' said Mr. Cheviot; 'but I am equally convinced
of my duty, however much I may regret it.' And then, with a few words
about Mary's presently coming up, he departed; while 'That is too bad,'
was the general indignant outburst, even from Richard; from all but Dr.
May himself.
'He is quite right,' he said. 'Dear Spencer would be the first to say
so. Richard, your church is his best monument, and you'll not shut him
out of your churchyard nor me either.'
'Cheviot could not have meant--' began Richard.
'Yes, he did, I understood him, and I am glad you should have had it
out now,' said Dr. May, though not without a quivering lip. 'Your
mother has _one_ by her side, and we'll find each other out just as
well as if we were in the cloister. I'll walk over to Cocksmoor with
you, Ritchie, and mark the place.'
Thus sweetly did he put aside what might have been so severe a shock;
and he took extra pains to show his son-in-law his complete
acquiescence both for the present and the future. Charles Cheviot
expressed to Richard his great satisfaction in finding sentiment thus
surmounted by sense, not perceiving that it was faith and love
surmounting both.
Dr. Spencer's only surviving relation was a brother's son, who, on his
arrival, proved to be an underbred, shrewd-looking man, evidently with
strong prepossessions against the May family, whose hospitality he did
not accept, consorting chiefly with 'Bramshaw and Anderson.' His
disposition to reverse the arrangement for burying his uncle in 'an
obscure village churchyard,' occasioned a reference to the will, drawn
up two years previously. The executors were Thomas and Etheldred May,
and it was marked on the outside that they were to have the sole
direction of the funeral. Ethel, greatly astonished, but as much
bewildered as touched, was infinitely relieved that this same day had
brought a hurried note from Paris, announcing Tom's intention of coming
to attend the funeral. He would be able to talk to the angry and
suspicious nephew, without, like his father, betraying either
indignation or disgust.
Another person was extremely anxious for Tom's arrival, namely, Sir
Matthew Fleet, who, not a little to Dr. May's gratification, came to
show his respect to his old fellow-student; and arriving the evening
before Tom, was urgent to know the probabilities of his appearance. An
appointment in London was about to be vacant, so desirable in itself,
and so valuable an introduction, that there was sure to be a great
competition; but Sir Matthew was persuaded that with his own support,
and an early canvass, Tom might be certain of success. Dr. May could
not help being grateful and gratified, declaring that the boy deserved
it, and that dear Spencer would have been very much pleased; and then
he told Ethel that it was wonderful to see the blessing upon Maggie's
children; and went back, as usual, to his dear old Tate and Brady,
with--
'His house the seat of wealth shall be,
An inexhausted treasury;
His justice, free from all decay,
Shall blessings to his heirs convey.'
And Ethel, within herself, hoped it was no disrespect to smile at his
having so unconsciously turned away the blessing from the father's to
the mother's side.
It was his great pride and pleasure that so many of Maggie's children
were round him to do honour to her old friend's burial--three sons, and
four daughters, and three sons-in-law. They all stood round the grave,
as near as might be to the stone that Gertrude, as a child, had laid
under his care, when his silver hair had mingled with her golden locks;
and with them was a concourse that evidently impressed the nephew with
a new idea of the estimation in which his uncle had been held.
Tom had travelled all night, and had arrived only just in time. Nobody
was able to say a word to him before setting off; and almost
immediately after the return, Sir Matthew Fleet seized upon him to walk
up to the station with him, and, to the infinite disgust of the nephew,
the reading of the will was thus delayed until the executor came back,
extremely grave and thoughtful.
After all, Mr. Spencer had no available grievance. His uncle's
property was very little altogether, amounting scarcely to a thousand
pounds, but the bulk was bequeathed to the nephew; to Aubrey May was
left his watch, and a piece of plate presented to him on his leaving
India; to Dr. May a few books; to Tom the chief of his library, his
papers, notes, and instruments, and the manuscript of a work upon
diseases connected with climate, on which he had been engaged for many
years, but had never succeeded in polishing to his own fastidious
satisfaction, or in coming to the end of new discoveries. To Etheldred,
his only legacy was his writing-desk, with all its contents. And Mr.
Spencer looked so suspicious of those contents, that Tom made her open
it before him, and show that they were nothing but letters.
It had been a morning of the mixture of feelings and restless bustle,
so apt to take place where the affection is not explained by
relationship; and when the strangers were gone, and the family were
once again alone, there was a drawing of freer breath, and the Doctor
threw himself back in his chair, and indulged in a long, heavy sigh,
with a weary sound in it.
'Can I go anywhere for you, father?' said Tom, turning to him with a
kind and respectful manner.
'Oh no--no, thank you,' he said, rousing himself, and laying his hand
on the bell, 'I must go over to Overfield; but I shall be glad of the
drive. Well, Dr. Tom, what did you say to Fleet's proposal?'
'I said I would come up to town and settle about it when I had got
through this executor business.'
'You always were a lucky fellow, Tom,' said Dr. May, trying to be
interested and sympathetic. 'You would not wish for anything better.'
'I don't know, I have not had time to think about it yet,' said Tom,
pulling off his spectacles and pushing back his hair, with an action of
sadness and fatigue.
'Ah! it was not the best of times to choose for the communication; but
it was kindly meant. I never expected to see Fleet take so much
trouble for any one. But you are done up, Tom, with your night
journey.'
'Not at all,' he answered, briskly, 'if I can do anything for you.
Could not I go down to the hospital?'
'Why, if I were not to be back till five,' began Dr. May, considering,
and calling him into the hall to receive directions, from which he came
back, saying, 'There! now then, Ethel, we had better look over things,
and get them in train.'
'You are so tired, Tom.'
'Not too much for that,' he said. But it was a vain boast; he was too
much fatigued to turn his mind to business requiring thought, though
capable of slow, languid reading and sorting of papers.
Aubrey's legacy was discovered with much difficulty. In fact, it had
never been heard of, nor seen the light, since its presentation, and
was at last found in a lumber closet, in a strong box, in Indian
packing. It was a compromise between an epergne and a candelabrum,
growing out of the howdah of an unfortunate elephant, pinning one tiger
to the ground, and with another hanging on behind, in the midst of a
jungle of palm-trees and cobras; and beneath was an elaborate
inscription, so laudatory of Aubrey Spencer, M. D., that nobody
wondered he had never unpacked it, and that it was yellow with
tarnish--the only marvel was, that he had never disposed of it; but
that it was likely to wait for the days when Aubrey might be a general
and own a side-board.
The other bequests were far more appreciated. Tom had known of the
book in hand, was certain of its value to the faculty, and was much
gratified by the charge of it, both as a matter of feeling and of
interest. But while he looked over and sorted the mass of curious
notes, his attention was far more set on the desk, that reverently,
almost timidly, Ethel examined, well knowing why she had been selected
as the depositary of these relics. There they were, some embrowned by
a burn in the corner, as though there had been an attempt to destroy
them, in which there had been no heart to persevere. It was but
little, after all, two formal notes in which Professor Norman Mackenzie
asked the honour of Mr. Spencer's company to dinner, but in handwriting
that was none of the professor's--writing better known to Ethel than to
Tom--and a series of their father's letters, from their first
separation till the traveller's own silence had caused their
correspondence to drop. Charming letters they were, such as people
wrote before the penny-post had spoilt the epistolary art--long,
minute, and overflowing with brilliant happiness. Several of them were
urgent invitations to Stoneborough, and one of these was finished in
that other hand--the delicate, well-rounded writing that would not be
inherited--entreating Dr. Spencer to give a few days to Stoneborough,
'it would be such a pleasure to Richard to show him the children.'
Ethel did not feel sure whether to see these would give pain or
pleasure to her father. He would certainly be grieved to see how much
suffering he must have inflicted in the innocence of his heart, and in
the glory of his happiness; and Tom, with a sort of shudder, advised
her to keep them to herself, he was sure they would give nothing but
pain.
She had no choice just then, for it was a time of unusual occupation,
and the difference made by their loss told immediately--the more,
perhaps, because it was the beginning of November, and there was much
municipal business to be attended to.
However it might be for the future, during the ensuing week Dr. May
never came in for a meal with the rest of the family; was too much
fagged for anything but sleep when he came home at night; and on the
Sunday morning, when they all had reckoned on going to Cocksmoor
together, he was obliged to give it up, and only come into the Minster
at the end of the prayers. Every one knew that he was not a good
manager of his time, and this made things worse; and he declared that
he should make arrangements for being less taken up; but it was sad to
see him overburthened, and Tom, as only a casual visitor, could do
little to lessen his toil, though that little was done readily and
attentively. There were no rubs between the two, and scarcely any
conversation. Tom would not discuss his prospects; and it was not
clear whether he meant to avail himself of Sir Matthew's patronage; he
committed himself to nothing but his wish that it were possible to stay
in Paris; and he avoided even talking to his sister.
Not till a week after he had left home for London came a letter
'Dear Ethel,
'I have told Fleet that I am convinced of my only right course. I
could never get the book finished properly if I got into his line, and
I must have peaceable evenings for it at home. I suppose my father
would not like to let Dr. Spencer's house. If I might have it, and
keep my own hours and habits, I think it would conduce to our working
better together. I am afraid I kept you in needless distress about
him, but I wanted to judge for myself of the necessity, and to think
over the resignation of that quest. I must commit it to Brown. I hope
it is not too great a risk; but it can't be helped. It is a matter of
course that I should come home now the helper is gone; I always knew it
would come to that. Manage it as quietly as you can. I must go to
Paris for a fortnight, to bring home my things, and by that time my
father had better get me appointed to the hospital.
'Yours ever,
'TH. MAY.'
Ethel was not so much surprised as her father, who thought she must
have been working upon Tom's feelings; but this she disavowed, except
that it had been impossible not to growl at patients sending at
unreasonable hours. Then he hoped that Fleet had not been
disappointing the lad; but this notion was nullified by a remonstrance
from the knight, on the impolicy of burying such talents for the sake
of present help; and even proposing to send a promising young man in
Tom's stead. 'Not too good for poor Stoneborough,' said Dr. May,
smiling. 'No, no, I'm not so decrepit as that, whatever he and Tom may
have thought me; I fancy I could tire out both of them. I can't have
the poor boy giving up all his prospects for my sake, Ethel. I never
looked for it, and I shall write and tell him so! Mind, Ethel, I shall
write, not you! I know you would only stroke him down, and bring him
home to regret it. No, no, I won't always be treated like Karl, in
"Debit and Credit", who the old giant thought could neither write nor
be written to, because his finger was off.'
And Dr. May's letter was the first which this son had ever had from him.
'My Dear Tom,
'I feel your kind intentions to the heart; it is like all the rest of
your dear mother's children; but the young ought not to be sacrificed
to the old, and I won't have it done. The whole tone of practice has
altered since my time, and I do not want to bind you down to the
routine. I had left off thinking of it since I knew of your distaste.
I have some years of work in me yet, that will see out most of my old
patients; and for the rest, Wright is a great advance on poor Ward, and
I will leave more to him as I grow older. I mean to see you a great
man yet, and I think you will be the greater and happier for the
sacrifice you have been willing to make. His blessing on you.
'Your loving father,
'R. M.'
What was Tom's answer, but one of his cool 'good letters,' a
demonstration that he was actuated by the calmest motives of
convenience and self-interest, in preferring the certainties of
Stoneborough to the contingencies of London, and that he only wanted
time for study and the completion of Dr. Spencer's book, enforcing his
request for the house.
His resolution was, as usual, too evident to be combated, and it was
also plain that he chose to keep on the mask of prudent selfishness,
which he wore so naturally that it was hard to give him credit for any
other features; but this time Dr. May was not deceived. He fully
estimated the sacrifice, and would have prevented it if he could; but
he never questioned the sincerity of the motive, as it was not upon the
surface; and the token of dutiful affection, as coming from the least
likely quarter of his family, touched and comforted him. He dwelt on
it with increasing satisfaction, and answered all hurries and worries
with, 'I shall have time when Tome is come;' re-opened old schemes that
had died away when he feared to have no successor, and now and then
showed a certain comical dread of being drilled into conformity with
Tom's orderly habits.
There was less danger of their clashing, as the son had outgrown the
presumptions of early youth, and a change had passed over his nature
which Ethel had felt, rather than seen, during his fleeting visits at
home, more marked by negatives than positives, and untraced by
confidences. The bitterness and self-assertion had ceased to tinge his
words, the uncomfortable doubt that they were underlaid by satire had
passed away, and methodical and self-possessed as he always was, the
atmosphere of 'number one' was no longer apparent round all his doings.
He could be out of spirits and reserved without being either
ill-tempered or ironical; and Ethel, with this as the upshot of her
week's observations, was reassured as to the hopes of the father and
son working together without collisions. As soon as the die was cast,
and there was no danger of undue persuasion in 'stroking him down,' she
indulged herself by a warmly-grateful letter, and after she had sent
it, was tormented by the fear that it would be a great offence. The
answer was much longer than she had dared to expect, and alarmed her
lest it should be one of his careful ways of making the worst of
himself; but there was a large 'Private,' scored in almost menacing
letters on the top of the first sheet, and so much blotted in the
folding, that it was plain that he had taken alarm at the unreserve of
his own letter.
'My Dear Ethel,
'I have been to Portland. Really my father ought to make a stir and
get Ward's health attended to; he looks very much altered, but will not
own to anything being amiss. They say he has been depressed ever since
he heard of Minna's death. I should say he ought to be doing
out-of-doors work--perhaps at Gibraltar, but then he would be out of
our reach. I could not get much from him, but that patient, contented
look is almost more than one can bear. It laid hold of me when I saw
him the first time, and has haunted me ever since. Verily I believe it
is what is bringing me home! You need not thank me, for it is sober
calculation that convinces me that no success on earth would compensate
for the perpetual sense that my father was wearing himself out, and you
pining over the sight. Except just at first, I always meant to come
and see how the land lay before pledging myself to anything; and
nothing can be clearer than that, in the state of things my father has
allowed to spring up, he must have help. I am glad you have got me the
old house, for I can be at peace there till I have learnt to stand his
unmethodical ways. Don't let him expect too much of me, as I see he is
going to do. It is not in me to be like Norman or Harry, and he must
not look for it, least of all now. If you did not understand, and know
when to hold your tongue, I do not think I could come home at all; as
it is, you are all the comfort I look for. I cross to Paris to-morrow.
That is a page I am very sorry to close. I had a confidence that I
should have hunted down that fellow, and the sight of Portland and the
accounts from Massissauga alike make one long to have one's hands on
his throat; but that hope is ended now, and to loiter about Paris in
search of him, when it it a plain duty to come away, would be one of
the presumptuous acts that come to no good. Let them discuss what they
will, there's nothing so hard to believe in as Divine Justice! And yet
that uncomplaining face accepts it! You need say nothing about this
letter. I will talk about Leonard with my father when I get home.
'Ever yours,
'Thomas May.'