(_By Our Own Trout_)
How gentle is the fisherman who sits beside the brook,
And firmly puts the wriggling worm upon the pointed hook
How pleasant for the hapless trout to find, from some strange cause,
The fly conceals a something that makes havoc with its jaws!
Dame Juliana Berners wrote a book, in which she said
The blessing of St. Peter rests upon the angler's head;
She bid him not be "ravenous in taking game,"--I wish
She'd ever asked if he deserved the blessings of the fish.
We were a happy family, as merry as could be,
"Diversified with crimson stains," as Pope has said. Ah me!
There came the cruel fisherman, his flies had deadly gleam,
And not a soul remains but me to mourn within the stream.
What recked my little troutlets of the Palmers, Spinners, Duns,
They headlong rushed, and then got caught, my innocent young sons!
They're cooked--excuse an old trout's tear!--but hard it is to feel
A monster's ta'en your family for matutinal meal.
The "honest angler," Walton, cried, and maundered night and day,
But Byron puts the matter in a very different way;
He said that Isaac should have hook fixed firmly "in his gullet,"
And oh! that I might be the trout that he suggests should pull it.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Brown (enthusiastic angler, who has brought his friend
and guest out for a "delightful day's fishing")._ "Confound it! I've
left them--I say, old chap, got any flies with you?"
_Jones (not enthusiastic, and a non-smoker, wearily)._ "Flies!!!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: CATS WHO CATCH CAN
Uncle George, just returned from a morning's fishing, recounts how he
landed some of the "most magnificent trout ever taken in these waters,"
and his audience anticipate much satisfaction from the contents of his
basket.]
[Illustration: Meanwhile the contents of Uncle George's basket are being
fully appreciated in the hall!]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Lunatic (suddenly popping his head over wall)._ "What
are you doing there?"
_Brown._ "Fishing."
_Lunatic._ "Caught anything?"
_Brown._ "No."
_Lunatic._ "How long have you been there?"
_Brown._ "Six hours."
_Lunatic._ "_Come inside!_"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A GENTLE HINT.--_Mr. Giglamps (who has been caught by
keeper with some fish in his basket under taking size)._ "Oh--er--well,
you see, fact is, my glasses--er--magnify a good deal. Make things look
larger than they really are!"
_Keeper (about to receive smaller tip than meets the occasion)._ "Ah!
makes yer put down a shillin' when yer means 'alf-a-crown, sometimes, I
dessay, sir!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: PAYING TOO DEAR FOR HIS WHISTLE.--_Donald._ "E--h, sir,
yon's a gran' fesh ye've gotten a haud o'!"
_The Laird._ "Oo, aye, a gran' fesh enoo, but I'd be gay an' glad if I
saw my twa-and-saxpenny flee weel oot o' his mooth!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Jones_ (_the adventurous_). "It--it's gettin' almost too
d-deep, I fear, Miss Hookem!"
_Miss Hookem._ "Oh, please do go on! It'll be the fish of my life!"
_Jones_ (_who is not a champion swimmer_). "M-mine too!"]
* * * * *
AN ACUTE ANGLER.--The judicious Hooker.
* * * * *
ANGLER'S MOTTO.--_Carpe diem._ A carp a day.
* * * * *
THE ANGLE OF INCIDENCE.--When you're fishing, and tumble into the water.
* * * * *
WALTON'S LIFE OF HOOKER.--Is this another name for Izaak Walton's
_Complete Angler_?
* * * * *
[Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS--SEA FISHING
In fishing for conger eels, it is sometimes convenient to have a spare
boat.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: RETURNED EMPTY.--_Old Mayfly_ (_who had dropped his flask
further down stream, and has just had it returned to him by honest
rustic_). "Dear me! Thank you! Thank you!" (_Gives him a shilling._)
"Don't know what I should ha' done without it!" (_Begins to unscrew
top._) "May I offer you a----"
_Honest Rustic._ "Well, thank y', sir, but me and my mate, not seein' a
howner about, we've ta'en what there were inside."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS.--When casting with a fly rod, be sure
to get your line well out behind you.]
* * * * *