AT HIS MOTHER'S GRAVE.
He sees her lone headstone,
'Tis white as a shroud;
Like a pall hangs above it
The low, drooping cloud.
'Tis well that the white ones
Who bore her to bliss,
Shut out from her new life
The sorrows of this.
Else sure as he stands here,
And speaks of his love,
She would leave for his darkness
Her glory above.
--_E.H. Whittier_.
Giddy, faint, reeling from the shock he had received, Ishmael tottered
from the gay and lighted rooms and sought the darkness and the coolness
of the night without.
He leaned against the great elm tree on the lawn, and wiped the beaded
sweat from his brow.
"It is not true," he said. "I know it is not true! Walter said it was
false; and I would stake my soul that it is. My dear mother is an angel
in heaven; I am certain of that; for I have seen her in my dreams ever
since I can remember. But yet--but yet--why did they all recoil from me?
Even she--even Claudia Merlin shrank from me as from something unclean
and contaminating, when Alfred called me that name. If they had not
thought there was some truth in the charge, would they all have recoiled
from me so? Would she have shrunk from me as if I had had the plague?
Oh, no! Oh, no! And then Aunt Hannah! Why does she act so very strangely
when I ask her about my parents? If I ask her about my father she
answers me with a blow. If I ask her about my mother, she answers that
my mother was a saint on earth and is now an angel in heaven. Oh! I do
not need to be told that; I know it already. I always knew it of my dear
mother. But to only know it no longer satisfies me; I must have the
means of proving it. And to-night, yes, to-night, Aunt Hannah, before
either of us sleep, you shall tell me all that you know of my angel
mother and my unknown father."
And having recovered his severely shaken strength, Ishmael left the
grounds of Brudenell Hall and struck into the narrow foot-path leading
down the heights and through the valley to the Hut hill.
Hannah was seated alone, enjoying her solitary cup of tea, when Ishmael
opened the door and entered.
"What, my lad, have you come back so early? I did not think the ball
would have been over before twelve or one o'clock, and it is not ten
yet; but I suppose, being a school ball, it broke up early. Did you get
any premiums? How many did you get?" inquired Hannah, heaping question
upon question without waiting for reply, as was her frequent custom.
Ishmael drew a chair to the other side of the table and sunk heavily
into it.
"You are tired, poor fellow, and no wonder! I dare say, for all the good
things you got at the ball, that a cup of tea will do you no harm," said
Hannah, pouring out and handing him one.
Ishmael took it wearily and sat it by his side.
"And now tell me about the premiums," continued his aunt.
"I got the first premium in belles-lettres, aunt; and it was Hallam's
'History of Literature.' And I got the first in languages, which was
Irving's 'Life of Washington'--two very valuable works, Aunt Hannah,
that will be treasures to me all my life."
"Why do you sigh so heavily, my boy? are you so tired as all that? But
one would think, as well as you love books, those fine ones would 'liven
you up. Where are they? Let me see them."
"I left them at the school, Aunt Hannah. I will go and fetch them
to-morrow."
"There's that sigh again! What is the matter with you, child? Are you
growing lazy? Who got the gold medal?"
"It wasn't a medal, Aunt Hannah. Mr. Middleton wanted to give something
useful as well as costly for the first prize; and he said a medal was of
no earthly use to anybody, so he made the prize a gold watch and chain."
"But who got it?"
"I did, aunt; there it is," said Ishmael, taking the jewel from his neck
and laying it on the table.
"Oh! what a beautiful watch and chain! and all pure gold! real yellow
guinea gold! This must be worth almost a hundred dollars! Oh, Ishmael,
we never had anything like this in the house before. I am so much afraid
somebody might break in and steal it!" exclaimed Hannah, her admiration
and delight at sight of the rich prize immediately modified by the cares
and fears that attend the possession of riches.
Ishmael did not reply; but Hannah went on reveling in the sight of the
costly bauble, until, happening to look up, she saw that Ishmael,
instead of drinking his tea, sat with his head drooped upon his hand in
sorrowful abstraction.
"There you are again! There is no satisfying some people. One would
think you would be as happy as a king with all your prizes. But there
you are moping. What is the matter with you, boy? Why don't you drink
your tea?"
"Aunt Hannah, you drink your own tea, and when you have done it I will
have a talk with you."
"Is it anything particular?"
"Very particular, Aunt Hannah; but I will not enter upon the subject
now," said Ishmael, raising his cup to his lips to prevent further
questionings.
But when the tea was over and the table cleared away, Ishmael took the
hand of his aunt and drew her towards the door, saying:
"Aunt Hannah, I want you to go with me to my mother's grave. It will not
hurt you to do so; the night is beautiful, clear and dry, and there is
no dew."
Wondering at the deep gravity of his words and manner, Hannah allowed
him to draw her out of the house and up the hill behind it to Nora's
grave at the foot of the old oak tree. It was a fine, bright, starlight
night, and the rough headstone, rudely fashioned and set up by the
professor, gleamed whitely out from the long shadowy grass.
Ishmael sank down upon the ground beside the grave, put his arms around
the headstone, and for a space bowed his head.
Hannah seated herself upon a fragment of rock near him. But both
remained silent for a few minutes.
It was Hannah who broke the spell.
"Ishmael, my dear," she said, "why have you drawn me out here, and what
have you to say to me of such a serious nature that it can be uttered
only here?"
But Ishmael still was silent--being bowed down with thought or grief.
Reflect a moment, reader: At this very instant of time his enemy--he who
had plunged him in this grief--was in the midst of all the light and
music of the ball at Brudenell Hall; but could not enjoy himself,
because the stings of conscience irritated him, and because the frowns
of Claudia Merlin chilled and depressed him.
Ishmael was out in the comparative darkness and silence of night and
nature. Yet he, too, had his light and music--light and music more in
harmony with his mood than any artificial substitutes could be; he had
the holy light of myriads of stars shining down upon him, and the music
of myriads of tiny insects sounding around him. Mark you this, dear
reader--in light and music is the Creator forever worshiped by nature.
When the sun sets, the stars shine; and when the birds sleep, the
insects sing!
This subdued light and music of nature's evening worship suited well the
saddened yet exalted mood of our poor boy. He knew not what was before
him, what sort of revelation he was about to invoke, but he knew that,
whatever it might be, it should not shake his resolve, "to deal justly,
love mercy, and walk humbly" with his God.
Hannah, spoke again:
"Ishmael, will you answer me--why have you brought me here? What have
you to say to me so serious as to demand this grave for the place of its
hearing?"
"Aunt Hannah," began the boy, "what I have to say to you is even more
solemn than your words import."
"Ishmael, you frighten me."
"No, no; there is no cause of alarm."
"Why don't you tell me what has brought us here, then?"
"I am about to do so," said Ishmael solemnly. "Aunt Hannah, you have
often told me that she whose remains lie below us was a saint on earth
and is an angel in heaven!"
"Yes, Ishmael. I have told you so, and I have told you truly."
"Aunt Hannah, three years ago I asked you who was my father. You replied
by a blow. Well, I was but a boy then, and so of course you must have
thought that that was the most judicious answer you could give. But now,
Aunt Hannah, I am a young man, and I demand of you, Who was my father?"
"Ishmael, I cannot tell you!"
With a sharp cry of anguish the youth sprang up; but governing his
strong excitement he subsided to his seat, only gasping out the
question:
"In the name of Heaven, why can you not?"
Hannah's violent sobs were the only answer.
"Aunt Hannah! I know this much--that your name is Hannah Worth; that my
dear mother was your sister; that her name was Nora Worth; and that mine
is Ishmael Worth! Therefore I know that I bear yours and my mother's
maiden name! I always took it for granted that my father belonged to the
same family; that he was a relative, perhaps a cousin of my mother, and
that he bore the same name, and therefore did not in marrying my mother
give her a new one. That was what I always thought, Aunt Hannah; was I
right?"
Hannah sobbed on in silence.
"Aunt Hannah! by my mother's grave, I adjure you to answer me! Was I
right?"
"No, Ishmael, you were not!" wailed Hannah.
"Then I do not bear my father's name?"
"No."
"But only my poor mother's?"
"Yes."
"Oh, Heaven! how is that?"
"Because you have no legal right to your father's; because the only name
to which you have any legal right is your poor, wronged mother's!"
With a groan that seemed to rend body and soul asunder, Ishmael threw
himself upon his mother's grave.
"You said she was an angel! And I know that she was!" he cried, as soon
as he had recovered the power of speech.
"I said truly, and you know the truth!" wept Hannah.
"How, then, is it, that I, her son, cannot bear my father's name?"
"Ishmael, your mother was the victim of a false marriage!"
Ishmael sprang up from his recumbent posture, and gazed at his aunt with
a fierceness that pierced through the darkness.
"And so pure and proud was she, that the discovery broke her heart!"
Ishmael threw himself once more upon the grave, and clasping the mound
in his arms, burst into a passionate flood of tears, and wept long and
bitterly. And, after a while, through this shower of tears, came forth
in gusty sobs these words:
"Oh, mother! Oh, poor, young, wronged, and broken-hearted mother! sleep
in peace; for your son lives to vindicate you. Yes, if he has been
spared, it was for this purpose--to honor, to vindicate, to avenge you!"
And after these words his voice was again lost and drowned in tears and
sobs.
Hannah kneeled down beside him, took his hand, and tried to raise him,
saying:
"Ishmael, my love, get up, dear! There was no wrong done, no crime
committed, nothing to avenge. Your father was as guiltless as your
mother, my boy; there was no sin; nothing from first to last but great
misfortune. Come into the house, my Ishmael, and I will tell you all
about it."
"Yes; tell me all! tell me every particular; have no more concealments
from me!" cried Ishmael, rising to follow his aunt.
"I will not; but oh, my boy! gladly would I have kept the sorrowful
story concealed from you forever, but that I know from what I have seen
of you to-night, that some rude tongue has told you of your
misfortune--and told you wrong besides!" said Hannah, as they re-entered
the hut.
They sat down beside the small wood fire that the chill night made not
unwelcome, even in August. Hannah sat in her old arm-chair, and Ishmael
on the three-legged stool at her feet, with his head in her lap. And
there, with her hand caressing his light brown hair, Hannah told him the
story of his mother's love and suffering and death.
At some parts of her story his tears gushed forth in floods, and his
sobs shook his whole frame. Then Hannah would be forced to pause in her
narrative, until he had regained composure enough to listen to the
sequel.
Hannah told him all; every particular with which the reader is already
acquainted; suppressing nothing but the name of his miserable father.
At the close of the sad story both remained silent for some time; the
deathly stillness of the room broken only by Ishmael's deep sighs. At
last, however, he spoke:
"Aunt Hannah, still you have not told me the name of him my poor mother
loved so fatally."
"Ishmael, I have told you that I cannot; and now I will tell you why I
cannot."
And then Hannah related the promise that she had made to her dying
sister, never to expose the unhappy but guiltless author of her death.
"Poor mother! poor, young, broken-hearted mother! She was not much older
than I am now when she died--was she, Aunt Hannah?"
"Scarcely two years older, my dear."
"So young!" sobbed Ishmael, dropping his head again upon Hannah's knee,
and bursting into a tempest of grief.
She allowed the storm to subside a little, and then said:
"Now, my Ishmael, I wish you to tell me what it was that sent you home
so early from the party, and in such a sorrowful mood. I knew, of
course, that something must have been said to you about your birth. What
was said, and who said it?"
"Oh, Aunt Hannah! it was in the very height of my triumph that I was
struck down! I was not proud, Heaven knows, that I should have had such
a fall! I was not proud--I was feeling rather sad upon account of
Walter's having missed the prize; and I was thinking how hard it was in
this world that nobody could enjoy a triumph without someone else
suffering a mortification. I was thinking and feeling so, as I tell you,
until Walter came up and talked me out of my gloom. And then all my
young companions were doing me honor in their way, when--"
Ishmael's voice was choked for a moment; but with an effort he regained
his composure and continued, though in a broken and faltering voice:
"Alfred Burghe left the group, saying that I was not a proper companion
for young ladies and gentlemen. And when--she--Miss Merlin, angrily
demanded why I was not, he--Oh! Aunt Hannah!" Ishmael suddenly ceased
and dropped his face into his hands.
"Compose yourself, my dear boy, and go on," said the weaver.
"He said that I was a--No! I cannot speak the word! I cannot!"
"A young villain! If ever I get my hands on him, I will give him as good
a broomsticking as ever a bad boy had in this world! He lied, Ishmael!
You are not what he called you. You are legitimate on your mother's
side, because she believed herself to be a lawful wife. You bear her
name, and you could lawfully inherit her property, if she had left any.
Tell them that when they insult you!" exclaimed Hannah indignantly.
"Ah! Aunt Hannah, they would not believe it without proof!"
"True! too true! and we cannot prove it, merely because your mother
bound me by a promise never to expose the bigamy of your father. Oh,
Ishmael, to shield him, what a wrong she did to herself and to you!"
wept the woman.
"Oh, Aunt Hannah, do not blame her! she was so good!" said this loyal
son. "I can bear reproach for myself, but I will not bear it for her!
Say anything you like to me, dear Aunt Hannah! but never say a word
against her!"
"But, poor boy! how will you bear the sure reproach of birth that you
are bound to hear from others? Ah, Ishmael, you must try to fortify your
mind, my dear, to bear much unjust shame in this world. Ishmael, the
brighter the sun shines the blacker the shadow falls. The greater your
success in the world, the bitterer will be this shame! See, my boy, it
was in the hour of your youthful triumph that this reproach was first
cast in your face! The envious are very mean, my boy. Ah, how will you
answer their cruel reproaches!"
"I will tell you, Aunt Hannah! Let them say what they like of me; I will
try to bear with them patiently; but if any man or boy utters one word
of reproach against my dear mother--" The boy ceased to speak, but his
face grew lived.
"Now, now, what would you do?" exclaimed Hannah, in alarm.
"Make him recant his words, or silence him forever!"
"Oh, Ishmael! Ishmael! you frighten me nearly to death! Good Heaven, men
are dreadful creatures! They never receive an injury but they must needs
think of slaying! Oh, how I wish you had been a girl! Since you were to
be, how I do wish you had been a girl! Boys are a dreadful trial and
terror to a lone woman! Oh, Ishmael! promise me you won't do anything
violent!" exclaimed Hannah, beside herself with terror.
"I cannot, Aunt Hannah! For I should be sure to break such a promise if
the occasion offered. Oh, Aunt Hannah! you don't know all my mother is
to me! You don't! You think because she died the very day that I was
born that I cannot know anything about her and cannot love her; but I
tell you, Aunt Hannah, I know her well! and I love her as much as if she
was still in the flesh. I have seen her in my dreams ever since I can
remember anything. Oh! often, when I was very small and you used to lock
me up alone in the hut, while you went away for all day to Baymouth, I
have been strangely soothed to sleep and then I have seen her in my
dreams!"
"Ishmael, you rave!"
"No, I don't; I will prove it to you, that I see my mother. Listen, now;
nobody ever described her to me; not even you; but I will tell you how
she looks--she is tall and slender; she has a very fair skin and very
long black hair, and nice slender black eyebrows and long eyelashes, and
large dark eyes--and she smiles with her eyes only! Now, is not that my
mother? For that is the form that I see in my dreams," said Ishmael
triumphantly, and for the moment forgetting his grief.
"Yes, that is like what she was; but of course you must have heard her
described by someone, although you may have forgotten it. Ishmael, dear,
I shall pray for you to-night, that all thoughts of vengeance may be put
out of your mind. Now let us go to bed, my child, for we have to be up
early in the morning. And, Ishmael?"
"Yes, Aunt Hannah."
"Do you also pray to God for guidance and help."
"Aunt Hannah, I always do," said the boy, as he bade his relative
good-night and went up to his loft.
Long Ishmael lay tumbling and tossing upon his restless bed. But when
at length he fell asleep a heavenly dream visited him.
He dreamed that his mother, in her celestial robe, stood by his bed and
breathed sweetly forth his name:
"Ishmael, my son."
And in his dream he answered:
"I am here, mother."
"Listen, my child: Put thoughts of vengeance from your soul! In this
strong temptation think not what Washington, Jackson, or any of your
warlike heroes would have done; think what the Prince of Peace, Christ,
would have done; and do thou likewise!" And so saying, the heavenly
vision vanished.