The decision of _The Westminster Gazette_ to return to its old figure
of a penny must not be taken as a sign that prices generally are
coming down. On the contrary there is every indication that they are
rising and will still rise, as the following symptomatic scraps of
news, gathered from all parts of the country, go to prove:--
The First Commissioner of Oaths states that "twopenny damns" will,
until further notice, be eight-pence each.
* * * * *
A schoolmaster in Birmingham who propounded the old question about
a herring and a half costing three half-pence has been put under
restraint as a dangerous lunatic.
* * * * *
If the information that reaches us from a little bird is correct, a
boycott of sparrows is in progress, owing to their inveterate habit of
saying, "Cheep! Cheep!"
* * * * *
Mr. HEINEMANN announces that, as a concession to modern
susceptibilities, he has decided to alter the title of Mr.
HERGESHEIMER'S successful novel, _The Three Black Pennys_ to _The
Three Black Half-crowns._
* * * * *
All guinea-pigs and guinea-fowls will from the present date onwards be
two guineas.
* * * * *
In the best profiteering circles cigars are now lighted with spills
made of one-pound, notes, instead of, as during the war, ten-shilling
ones.
* * * * *
A well-known orchestral leader states that there is a serious movement
afoot to popularise "The Dear Home Land" as an encore for the National
Anthem.
* * * * *
The legal profession has long been concerned by the fact that lawyers'
fees remain so fixed in a world given over to flux. It has now been
decided that, although the fees shall remain the same, less value
shall be given. For six-and-eightpence a solicitor will in future give
only half his attention, by listening with only one ear.
* * * * *