The night oppressed me like an unbending, disjointed absurdity, and
the night was like a silence in which something breathing and mute was
abroad.
Then Jehovah descended to me.
When Jehovah came the air rushed away from Him like a wake; birds were
blown away like chaff, and I clung to the sod and the trees and the
rocks.
"You are calling me?" said Jehovah.
"I call out in my distress!" I answered.
And Jehovah spoke: "You want to know what to choose in life, Beauty or
Love or Truth?" And Jehovah said: "You want to know?"
And when He said: "You want to learn that?" I did not answer, but was
silent; for He knew my thoughts.
Then Jehovah touched my eyes, and I beheld:
I saw a tall woman against the skies. She wore no garments, and when
she moved her body shimmered like white silk, and she wore no
garments; for her body quivered toward me in rapture.
And she stood against the skies in a sunrise, yes, in a crimson dawn;
and the sun shone upon her, and a scarlet light streamed up through
the skies, yes, a light of blood surrounded her.
And she was tall and white, and her eyes were like two blue flowers
which brushed my soul when she looked at me; and when she spoke to me
she entreated me and urged me toward her, and her voice was like a
sweet phosphorescence with a taste of the sea.
I rose from the earth and stretched forth my arms toward her, and when
I stretched both my arms toward her she again implored me, and her
body was odorous with rapture. And I was gloriously stirred in my
inmost being, and I rose and gave her my lips in the morning glow,
and my eyes fell.
When I looked up again the woman was old. And the woman was old and
hoary with years, and her body had shrunk with age, and she had very
little life left. But when I looked up the sky was darkling toward
night, yes dark like night, and the woman was without hair. I looked
to her and knew her not and knew not the sky, and when I looked toward
the woman she was gone.
"This was Beauty!" said Jehovah. "Beauty wanes. I am Jehovah!"
And Jehovah touched my eyes again, and I beheld:
I saw a terrace, high, beneath a castle. There were two people there,
and the two people on the terrace were young and full of joy. And the
sun shone on the castle, and on the terrace, and the sun shone on the
two people and on the gravel deep, deep down the abyss, on the hard
driveway. And the people were two, a man and a woman in the springtide
of youth, and both were speaking honeyed words, and both were tender
toward each other with desire.
"See the flower on my breast!" he said; "can you hear what it is
saying?" And he leaned backward toward the railing on the terrace
and said: "This flower which you gave me stands here and murmurs
and whispers toward you, and it murmurs: 'Beloved, Queen, Alvilde,
Alvilde!' Do you hear it?"
And she smiled and looked down, and she took his hand and placed his
hand against her heart and answered: "But do you hear what my heart
says to you? My heart throbs toward you and it blushes with emotion
for your sake. And my heart babbles in joyful confusion and says:
'Beloved, I pause before you and almost perish when you look at me,
Beloved!'"
He leaned toward the terrace-railing and gloriously his breast heaved
with love. And deep, deep below was the abyss and the hard driveway.
And he pointed his finger down the depths and said: "Throw down your
fan, and I will follow it!" And when he had spoken his breast rose and
sank, and he placed his hands on the railing and made ready for the
leap.
Then I cried out and closed my eyes....
But when I looked up I saw again the two people, and they were both
older and both in their prime. And the two did not speak to each
other, but were silent with their thoughts. And when I looked up the
sky was grey, and the two walked up the white castle-stairway, and she
was full of indifference, yes full of hate in her steely eyes, and
when I looked for the third time I saw also anger and hate in his
glance, and his hair was grey like the grey skies.
And as they ascended the stairs she dropped her fan, one step down it
dropped, and she said with quivering lips and pointed downward: "I
dropped my fan--there it lies on the lower step--please hand it to me,
dear!"
And he did not answer, but walked on and called a servant to pick up
the fan.
"This was Love," said Jehovah. "Love perishes. I am Jehovah!"
And Jehovah touched my eyes for the last time, and I beheld:
I saw a town and a public square, and I saw a scaffold. And when I
listened I heard a seething sound of voices, and when I looked I saw
many people who talked and gritted their teeth with joy. And I saw a
man who was being bound, a malefactor who was being bound with leather
thongs, and the malefactor's countenance was haughty and proud, and
his eyes shone like stars. But his garment was torn and his feet stood
naked on the ground, and his clothes were almost gone, yes his cloak
was worn to almost nothing.
And I listened and heard a voice, and when I looked I saw that the
malefactor was speaking, and the malefactor spoke proudly and
gloriously. And they bade him be silent, but he spoke, he testified,
he shouted, and when they bade him be silent he did not cease with
fear. And when the malefactor spoke the mob ran up and silenced his
lips, and when he mutely pointed to the sky and to the sun, and when
he pointed to his heart which still beat warmly, the mob ran up and
struck him. And when the mob struck him the malefactor fell to his
knees, and he knelt and clasped his hands and testified mutely,
without words, in spite of the cruel blows.
And I looked at the malefactor and saw his eyes like stars, and I saw
the mob throw him down and hold him on the scaffold with their hands.
And when once more I looked I saw an axe-blade write in the air, and
when I listened I heard the stroke of the axe against the scaffolding
and the people joyfully shouting. And while I listened a
single-throated cry rose toward heaven from people groaning with
ecstasy.
But the malefactor's head rolled in the dirt and the mob ran up and
seized it and lifted it high by the hair. And the malefactor's head
still spoke, and it testified with unquenchable voice and spoke loudly
all the words it uttered. And the malefactor's head was not silent
even in death.
But the mob ran up and took hold of the malefactor's head by the
tongue and lifted it high by the tongue. And the vanquished tongue was
mute, and the tongue spoke no more. But the eyes were like stars, yes,
like gleaming stars to be seen by everybody....
Then Jehovah said: "This was Truth. And Truth speaks even after its
head is severed. And with its tongue bound its eyes shine like stars.
I am Jehovah!"
When Jehovah had spoken I fell on my face and spoke not, but was
silent with much thought. And I thought that Beauty was lovely ere
it waned and Love was sweet ere it perished, and I thought that Truth
endured like stars everlasting. And tremblingly I thought of Truth.
And Jehovah said: "You wanted to know what to choose in life?" And
Jehovah said then: "Have you chosen?"