Although I risked discovery at an inopportune moment, I could not
resist the temptation to raise my eyes level with the sill of the
window. So did Uncle Jap's Lily. We both peered in. Uncle Jap was
facing Leveson; in his hand he held the long-barrelled six-shooter; in
his eyes were tiny pin-point flashes of light such as you see in an
opal on a frosty morning. Terror had spread a grim mask upon the
other; his complexion was the colour of oatmeal, his pendulous lips
were quivering, his huge body seemed of a sudden to be deflated. He
might have been an empty gas bag, not a man.
"I'm goin' to tell ye that," continued Uncle Jap mildly, "I come here
to hev a leetle talk with you. Sinse I've bin in San Lorenzy County
two men hev tried to ruin me: one left the county in a hurry; you're
the other."
"I give you my word of honour, Mr. Panel----"
"That's about all _you_ would give, an' it ain't wuth takin'."
"Do you mean to kill me?"
"Ef I hev to, 't won't keep me awake nights."
In my ear I heard his Lily's attenuated whisper: "Nor me neither, if
Jaspar ain't caught."
And I had thought that solicitude for Jaspar's soul had sent his Lily,
hot-foot to prevent the crime of--murder! I learnt something about
women then which I shall not forget.
"You propose to blackmail me, I suppose?"
"Ugly word, that, but it's yours, not mine. I prefer to put it this
way. I propose to consecrate this yere church with an act o' justice."
"Go on!"
"This county wan't big enough for the other feller an' me, so he had
to go; it ain't big enough to-day for you an' me, but this time, I'm
a-goin', whether you stay in it or _under_ it."
At the word "under" Uncle Jap's Lily nudged me. I looked at her. Her
face was radiant. Her delight in her husband at such a moment, her
conviction that he was master of the situation, that he had regained
by this audacious move all the prestige which he had in her
estimation, lost--these things rejuvenated her.
"It's a question of dollars, of course?"
"That's it. Before you ask for credit with the angel Gabriel, you've
got to squar' up with Jaspar Panel."
"With the dear Lord's help, Jaspar has found a way," whispered the
joyful voice in my ear.
"How much?" demanded Leveson. His colour was coming back.
"We've got to figger on that. Take a pencil an' paper an' sit down."
"This is ridiculous."
"Sit down, you----"
Nathaniel Leveson sat down. The vestry had been used by the contractor
as an office; the plain deal table was littered with scraps of paper.
Leveson took out a gold pencil-case.
"Married man, ain't ye?" said Uncle Jap, with seeming irrelevance.
"Yes."
"Ever give your wife a ti-airy: diamond crown, sorter?"
"What the----"
"Answer--_quick!_"
"Yes."
"What did ye pay for it? _Quick!_"
"Ten thousand dollars."
"Put that down first."
The joy and gladness had entirely melted out of Mrs. Panel's thin
voice as she whispered dole-fully to me: "Jaspar _is_ crazy,
after all."
"No, he isn't," I whispered back.
Jaspar continued in a mild voice: "What does a way-up outfit o' lady's
clothes cost: sealskin sacques, satins, the best of everything outside
and in?"
"I don't know."
"You've got to figger it out--_quick!_"
"Say ten thousand, more or less."
"Put down fifteen; I'd jest as lief it was more 'n less. Put down a
hundred dollars fer me, I mean to hev a good suit o' clothes myself.
What does that come to?"
"Twenty-five thousand, one hundred dollars. Aren't you wasting time,
Mr. Panel?"
"Nit. Of course if we happened to be interrupted it might be awkward
fer you. If somebody should call, you'll say, of course, that yer very
particularly engaged, eh?"
"Yes," said Nathaniel Leveson. "To oblige me, Mr. Panel, take your
finger from that trigger."
"Ah? I'd ought ter hev done that before. I'd disremembered 'twas a
hair trigger. Now then, put down Sunny Bushes, includin' the oil lake,
at yer own figger, fifty thousand. Got it? Yas. Now then, for wear an'
tear of two precious souls an' bodies--that's it! Fifty thousand more.
Got it? Yas. How much now?"
"One hundred and twenty-five thousand, one hundred dollars."
"Right! What does a marble hall cost?"
"A marble----"
"You heard what I said plain enough. You live in one yerself. What did
that leetle shebang on Nob Hill cost ye?"
"Four hundred thousand dollars."
"Jiminy Christmas! Marble halls come high, but you've a large fam'ly,
more's the pity. Put down seventy-five thousand. Got it? Yas. Now
then, about statooary--"
"Good God!"
"Don't call on the Lord so loud. I reckon he's nearer than you give
Him credit fer. Statooary comes high, too, but one don't want overly
much of it. A leetle gives a tone to a parlour. Put down five
thousand. Got it! Yas. Furniture an' fixins, lemmee see! Wal, when it
comes to buyin' fixin's, Mis' Panel beats the world. Put down ten
thousand more. Total, please!"
"Two hundred and fifteen thousand and one hundred dollars."
"Make out yer personal note to me an' Mis' Panel fer that amount. One
day after date. An' consideration. Sunny Bushes, oil, mortgage an'
all, but _not_ the stock, I wouldn't sell any living critter to
sech as you. There's pen an' ink all handy."
We heard the scratching of pen on paper.
"Ye look mighty pleased," said Uncle Jap, "an' it's not because yer
gittin' a property wuth a million for a quarter its value, nor because
late in the day ye've squared an ugly account, but because yer
thinkin' that this yere note ain't wuth the paper it's written on. An'
it ain't-yit."
Again Mrs. Panel nudged me. Her beatific expression told me more
eloquently than words that her Jasper was the greatest man on earth.
"Notes-of-hand given by onreliable parties must be secured," said
Uncle Jap slowly. "This yere is goin' to be secured by a confession,
dictated by me, written out an' signed by you. When the note is paid,
I hand over the confession--see! If the note ain't paid prompt, the
confession goes to the noospapers of this enlightened land. I shall
git something from them for sech a remarkable doccyment. But, first of
all, here an' now, you can make a small payment on the note. Give me
that di'mond ring, an' the di'mond pin. _Quick_!"
A moment later these corruscating gems were swept into Uncle Jap's
hand.
"What did they cost ye?"
"Twenty-seven hundred dollars."
"Suffering Moses! Endorse that as paid on the back of the note. Got it
down? Yas." Uncle Jap folded up the note and placed it carefully in a
large pocket-book. "Now write out, good an' plain, what I tell ye.
Ready? Date an' address first. That's right. Now----"
Obviously, he was pulling himself together for a tremendous literary
effort. Mrs. Panel had hold of my arm, and was squeezing it hard.
Uncle Jap began--
"'_This is to certify that I, Nathaniel Leveson, the undersigned,
have been fooling with the wrong end of a mule, viz., Jasper Panel,
who's as self-opinionated a critter as ever marched with Sherman to
the Sea_----' What air you doing?"
Leveson had laid down his pen. "This is farce," he said sharply.
"We'll hev your criticism after the play is over," retorted Uncle Jap
decisively. "I'm talkin' now. Pick up that thar pen, and don't lay it
down agen till I tell ye, or," the muzzle of the Colt almost touched
the perspiring forehead of the Colossus, "or else, by Golly, thar'll
be a terr'ble muss to clean up in here to-morrer mornin'. That's
better. Lemmee see, whar was I? _'Sherman to the Sea,_' yas. Now:
'_I tried to down Jasper Panel, and he's downed me. I'm a nateral
born hog, and I eat with all four feet in the trough.'_ Underline
that, it's good. _'I'm big, an sassy, an' full o' meanness, but what
sand I've got ain't to be seen with a double-barrelled microscope. I'm
as false as Judas; an' Ananias wouldn't be seen walkin' arm in arm
with me in the place whar I'd oughter be to-night. I'd steal milk from
a blind kitten an' sell it as cream to my own mother five minutes
after.'_ Underline that: it's straight goods. Now then fer the
finish. _'I wouldn't offer a fair price fer Sunny Bushes, because I
aimed ter git it fer nothing. I wouldn't allow others to buy it fer
the same reason. I used the power that the Devil give me to prevent a
railroad, which I own, furnishin' cars to J. Panel, an' las'ly, I
caused money ter be loaned to said J. Panel so's to git him completely
under my heel. Also I built a church in San Lorenzy, an' I write these
yere lines in the vestry of it as a sorter penance. I swear solemn
that this is the first time in my life that I ever tole the truth, an'
I'll never do it agen, if I know myself._'
"Sign that, an' give it ter me," said Uncle Jap.
Leveson, purple with rage and humiliation, signed it.
* * * * *
At this psychological moment we made our presence known.
"Uncle Jap," said I, "don't you think that document ought to be
witnessed."
"Jee-whillikins! Ef it ain't you. Who's that a-peekin' behind ye?"
"It's me, Jaspar," said Mrs. Panel meekly.
Uncle Jap unlocked the door of the vestry and let us in. Leveson sat
huddled up in his chair. Uncle Jap prodded him with the ancient pistol
which he still held in his hands.
"Can't you offer a lady a chair?" he said testily. Leveson offered his
chair, upon the extreme edge of which Mrs. Panel deprecatingly seated
herself. Uncle Jap eyed her with wrinkled interrogation.
"What in thunder brought ye to San Lorenzy?"
Mrs. Panel twisted her fingers.
"I looked in the drawer, an' I see _that_," she indicated the
weapon, "was missin'."
"Did ye? Now, Lily Panel, you don't mean to tell me that you thought I
was goin' ter murder this feller?"
Mrs. Panel looked at Leveson with an expression which I have seen in
the eyes of foothill mothers, whose children run barefoot, when they
have found a rattlesnake. Then she drawled out: "Wal, I hoped you
might, but----"
"Why, Lily! You hoped I might?"
"Yes; but I feared you'd git murdered first. Oh Jaspar, I didn't know
you was sech a man."
She stood up, her eyes were shining, her face radiant "Fergive me, but
I reckoned you--was--petered--out?"
"Petered out--_me_?"
"Yas; I'm a silly, fullish woman."
"No, you ain't. Petered out--_me_? Wal," he glanced at Leveson,
"somebody _is_ petered out, but it ain't me. Did ye ever see a
man scairt worse'n him? I scairt the wizard some; yas I did, but he
could run: this feller can't crawl, I reckon. An' this yere Colt wan't
loaded then, an' it ain't loaded--now. Look! What an appetite I hev!
Who says supper? Now, mister," he addressed Leveson, "seein' as the
starch is outer you, I'll give ye my arm as fur as the Paloma."
"Leave me," gurgled Leveson.
"I'm too good a Christian. In the state yer in it'd kill ye to meet
somebody else ye've robbed. It's too risky."
"Go, you scoundrel! Authority was returning to his voice; the old
arrogance gleamed in his eyes.
"Scoundrel--hay?" Uncle Jap's voice became savage. "You come along
with me--quick an' quiet. This old Colt ain't loaded, but ef I hit you
over the head with the butt of it, ye'll think it is. Come!"
In silence the four of us marched up to the Paloma, and into the big
hall where a dozen men were smoking. Uncle Jap addressed the clerk in
a loud, clear voice.
"Mr. Leveson," he said, "has just concluded a leetle deal with me.
He's bought Sunny Bushes an' the lake of ile for two hundred and
fifteen thousand and one hundred dollars. Here is his note. Put it in
the safe for me till to-morrer."
The chatter in the big room had ceased long before Uncle Jap had
finished. More than one man present divined that something quite out
of the ordinary had taken place. Leveson moistened his lips with his
tongue. His chance had come. Had he chosen to repudiate the note, had
he denounced Uncle Jap as obtaining at the pistol point what could be
obtained in no other way, the law of the land would have released him
from his bond. But Uncle Jap had read him aright: he was a coward.
"Yes," he said. "I've bought Sunny Bushes."
"An' dirt cheap, too," said Uncle Jap. He spoke to the clerk in his
usual mild voice: "Can you give Mis' Panel an' me accommodation?"
"Certainly, Mr. Panel. What sort of accommodation, sir?"
Uncle Jap looked fondly at his wife. I doubt if she had ever crossed
the threshold of the Paloma before. I could see her blinking at the
marble columns, at the velvet pile rugs, and the innumerable electric
lights just turned on.
"What sorter accommodation?" repeated Uncle Jap. "Why, anything'd do
fer me, but Mis' Panel is mighty particular. We'll take the bridal
suit, if it ain't engaged."
"Certainly; sitting-room, bedroom, and bathroom upon the first floor,"
said the clerk, striking a bell for the hall porter.
"Come, Lily," said Uncle Jap.
She raised her head, as if she were about to protest; then she smiled
contentedly, and followed him out of the old life into the new.
X